Why is dark skin considered bad?

[Anonymous]

Hi I'm 23 years old I noticed since 10 I was told as a brown skinned female color of caramel I'm ugly because I'm not fairskin my mom is pale lightskinned & my dad is very dark tonight I told my mom my boyfriend have dumped me being brown skinned for a lighter skinned female he been cheating on me for 5 years straight admitted he never loved me he just used me for his blue balls I saw messages from him on Instagram all his preferences have lighter skin & silker hair texures all my boyfriends past & present have cheated on me or found excuses to dump me because I'm black & have a darker complexion when I tell my mom my experiences being a darker skinned female she ignores me or walks away I feel alone when I have discussions with her about my skin tone being darker when I tell her my complexion is why everyone is mean to me when me & her go out to hang out or trips I noticed I'm racially profiled such as accused of stealing I get followed in public stores, I have got called ugly, I have seen female's of lighter complexions bullying me because I have a darker skin tone & wear wigs I have been picked on & pointed at she doesn't defend me once as female said in public beacuse I was black that I stink falsely in crowd of people my own mother laughed like it was funny & didn't defend me I wanted to cry sometimes in public she pretend she don't know me figure beacuse she lightskin she's too good for people to see her with me or if we have a conversation she stop to me when others show up , men don't ask me out as much of at all often all the attention is on her also compliments from everybody, men ask her out meanwhile I'm just the dark friend standing there often times I notice she compares herself to me such as she better than me recently I got offered treatment to fix my skin tone she seems like she doesn't want me improve my appearance like she wants to keep me in her Shadow anything that makes me prettier she against it what should I do any advice is good thank you

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang sis, that's really rough what you've been going through. Colorism is so messed up and it sounds like it's really hurt you over the years. First off, none of that is your fault - you deserve to be loved for who you are inside and out regardless of skin tone.

I know it's hard, but please don't internalize what shallow dudes have said to bring you down. They clearly have their own issues if they're so focused on superficial things. And your mom's behavior is really not cool - family should always have your back no matter what.

Have you talked to her directly about how much her favoring lighter skin has impacted you? She needs to hear how much this has hurt. Maybe even see a counselor together who can help you both understand each other better. You deserve to feel good about yourself.

For now, focus on surrounding yourself with people who appreciate you for you. Stay confident in who you are - easier said than done, I know. And if a treatment would make YOU happier, go for it. Do what feels right for YOU. This is YOUR life and YOU get to decide what feels best for your wellbeing and happiness. Don't let anyone dull your shine, sis! You've got this. You are beautiful from within and out, your dark skin is flawless baby and gorgeous ya hear ❤️ own it cause a lot of people believe it or not wish they had your skin.

[Asker]

This the best advice I have heard in a long time it means a lot thank you I felt upset & Lost

[Oliverlogan263]

Awww it’s okay mama. I get it… No problem, I'm glad I could help give some perspective. Dealing with racism and colorism is never easy, especially when it's coming from within your own family too. Just remember that you've got so much wonderful things to offer the world that have nothing to do with how dark or light your skin is. Try not to let the ignorance and insecurities of other people define your self worth. You seem like a really cool girl, so keep treating people with kindness and stay true to who you are. If your mom can't support you, find other friends and mentors who will. Things may suck now but they'll get better as long as you keep your head held high. You've got this boo, so don't lose hope! Feel free to hit me up if you ever need someone to talk to.

[Oliverlogan263]

Also I have a song you may like that may compliment to how beautiful you are in your own skin I would like for you to listen to to uplift you, it’s called “Ebony Eyes” by Stevie Wonder: https://youtu.be/jM3_OYfqqGY?si=Gu5pCqmT35F8xq3O

[Oliverlogan263]

And I want you to remind yourself by saying this to yourself in the mirror everyday you wake up to upbuild your confidence and inner beauty luv , I want you to say this : I am Black, I am Beautiful, I am Strong, I am Smart, and I am Perfectly Enough” ok day by day at a time I want you to repeat this to yourself Black Queen 👸🏾🌹🌹🌹 you will definitely feel more empowered and confident in yourself gorgeous

[Asker]

Thanks sure thing

[Oliverlogan263]

My pleasure 😊🌹

[strateguy632]

because we were taught in school: "the son ham did evil, and ham in biblical means brown" so brown is bad... still that shouldn't mean ugly. nor all brown are evil just ham himself.

the opposite bible also said "i am black and beautiful" in book song so objectively not ugly.

the interpretation "black but beautiful" doesn't match the text and is not a real translation.

[menina]

I'm really sorry to hear this. You've been going through a lot of s**t! I know it's not easy.

Some of the comments you heard, I'm used to hear them at home. It's so stupid! 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

Listen, these people are trying to bring you down. Some of them might be jealous of you, so it's their problem, not yours. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being dark skinned!

I suppose you need to talk to your mom, tell her how you truly feel. If she loves you, she will change her behavior.

You are an amazing human being and you can and should love yourself. I know it takes time, but I'm sure you'll get there. 🥰🥰

[Anonymous]

It's only bad if you're overweight and unkempt.

[Saiesh30]

The person you were attracted to wasn't ideal.
The person you should be most attracted to in life is yourself. It seems difficult on occasions but trust me, until you start loving yourself and valuing yourself the outside world ain't gonna change.
Skin color is not the criteria for a person to be loved but it's the person himself/herself. You must have noticed so many Indians finding love in whites or other races. So don't lose hope. It's all gonna fall in place eventually.

[exitseven]

My girlfriend in college had a black roommate who was fairly light skinned. She told me that her father would not let her date anyone darker than she was. I just don't get it. The thing that I understand is that everyone is different. Why get so hung up on how we are different?

[Joshydavid25]

I think you're thinking too hard on the events and it all relating to your skin complexion.. You don't sound like you are super dark skinned being a more caramel complexion.. Trust me people don't care about skin complexion as much as you think.. If you look good, and presentable, skin complexion matters almost little.. So that tells me that there are other factors here that might contribute to all this bad treatment you say you have.

[ThrillSeeker01]

Just ignore people who treat you that way. They sound cruel. Dark skin is beautiful 🙂

[Asker]

I always Wonder how can I love my skin if everyone picks on me for it :'(

[ThrillSeeker01]

I can't believe that. Tons of people like dark and there's certainly nothing wrong with it.

[Asker]

I was raised in family where men van be any skin tone they want but female's it's a requirement we are lightskin or look European

[ThrillSeeker01]

I know that it is like that in Asia for lots of women. Like Asian women have told me the same thing. But a lot of people are not that superficial, I hope

[Asker]

Sadly they are but your words make me feel better

[ThrillSeeker01]

I'm sure you'll find someone who likes you for who you are and for whom the color of your skin doesn't matter 🙂

[Dargil]

I am overwhelmingly NOT on that considerator list. Dark skin looks warm and inviting to me.

[Luckycharms12]

Only bad if think that way. Don't let people tell you what's good or bad you are you. And nothing wrong with dark skin. I'm pale as fuck not great having hide from sun or get burned alive 😂😂

[BoopBoopBeep]

I've known a number of Nigerian, Ugandan and and Kenyan women that weren't exactly albino. Guessing you live in a more racist place?

[driven159]

I think brown skin is sexy like being tanned with no tan lines and healthy looking skin

[Nikki1989]

It is not bad at all. Ignore the haters.

[Asker]

Thank you

[Anonymous]

It's not. But society is petty. It makes all kinds of ridiculous judgements.

[AngryCarl2]

No skin colour is bad, skin colour is good. It is what it is. It's become a status thing for some people, which is beyond stupid.

[Staximus]

Stand up for yourself and stop picking shitty guys

[Staximus]

Do not tolerate anybody's bullshit or bad treatment

[riverrat3]

All skin colors are beautiful

[Anonymous]

No i like dark skin more

[Anonymous]

Find a dark skin guy

[jahaims]

It's not