The Reason Why I've Stopped Believing in Love

[IronPhantom17]

I've said before that I have, officially, stopped believing in love. However, whenever I say that, I am always met with the same bullshit rebuddle about love being a chemical process in the brain, or a universal force connecting all living things togeth- yeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeahyeah...

FIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNE

Yeah okay, I suppose that an argument could potentially be made about the fact that endorphin levels can increase in a person's brain whenever they see an individual that they would potentially want to mate with. Its scientific. Its logical. But its not love. Its instinct.

Now, I'm not the most attractive guy out there. I don't even think I'm asthetically eligable! I've come to terms with this. The fact that I'm 210 pounds, have an actual plan for my future, and that I don't follow the latest fashion trends, has all but put me out of the race.

I used to believe in love. I even thought I had it for a second there. But, that kind of shit can never happen for me.

I'm not just ranting and raving. I'm not just looking for a pity party. Its the fucking truth I'm speaking here.

I TOTALLY get why the women in my life have always preferred another man to me. I totally get why I've constantly been friendzoned. I just don't look the part.

I mean, SURE I'm:

Loyal, trusting, laid back, hard working, romantic, realistic, sensual, considerate, have top notch communication skills, able to tell when something is wrong.

And OF COURSE I:

Actually fucking listen, talk about a problem instead of running off like a fuckboy, and always make sure that my woman is happy and satisfied.

But, nope! Love is just never in the cards for someone like me. Naaahh.. Why would it be? I'm not built like a movie star, or have a body covered in tattoos, or have a shitty fucking man-bun. So, I'm practically worthless.

Yes I'm fucking mad. I'm sick of hearing about people's issues about their relationships. "I looked at my bf's phone and now he hasn't spoken to me in two weeks." "This guy I'm talking to called me a fat bitch because I won't show him my tits. I still like him a lot though." "My boyfriend won't sleep with me. He's too busy gaming."

You know what? Shut the fuck up and find some other asshole that will do the exact same shit to you as this one does. But hey, he's hot right?

Obviously, I'm excluding the very few people out there that can actually handle an adult relationship. For that, I tip my hat to you. But for the rest of the stupid bullshitters that I have to deal with every day:

One of these days, you're going to have to stop and take a good look. You might even have to say to yourself, "Hold on. I know he's hot and everything... But, I don't really like how he treats me like a fucking trash bag. I think I need to make a change."

Honestly, what the fuck is so hard about making this decision?

Hot Scumbag? Or Average Gentleman?

Sure, get your fedora and neckbeard comments ready. God forbid you actually THINK about these things.

Fuck love. Its bullshit. I'm better off alone anyway.

I guess I'm just one of those guys that would prefer to be alone and rich, than be divorced and have some woman take half of my shit.

Anyway,

Good Luck and Thanks for Reading. 🇦🇺🇺🇸

[SITdown]

I understand being cynical about life matters. I was this way and had this very same mindset well into my 30's. So I am not going to bash your thought process of today. i would like to remind you that you just haven't experienced it "yet". You are very young man. when I was your age I thought i had the world figured out and that I knew all that I was going to know and the rest of my life will always be more of the same. lol wow was I wrong about that. As a matter fact not only did every single mindset I posses then get totally wiped out from my twenty's but also my thirty's as well. I am now in mid forty's and I had found a love that is so beautiful and strong that the word i knew of it before was just a word. I want to convey to you that of course what you expect to hear is it is possible and time will tell and it gets better.
but I know you're not ready to believe any of that yet so I got a little project for you to practice.

because I don't want you to change your mindset by just simply believing my changed concepts. i want you to experience love some day your mindsets could be blown away as mine has. So keep holding on to your convictions as long as you want. my hopes of one day you may look back at this feed and laugh at your rant.

First thing I want to say is good for you for not following any trends and what all the other foolish sheep do to impress one another. Those are the people that are seriously behind the 8. I want you to know God shoots bank shots so never expect a result to work right away on a straight shot. just keep your mind focused on the big picture. it does not tale looks nor a slender physic to attract love.

Love is blind and it is also effortless. So there is no need to look for it. Which sounds like you are a step ahead of me, good for you once again.

ok here we go. All"s I want you to try is examine that you do truly want to be loved, that is obvious by the topic and the great detail you laid out. true love hasn't existed for you but that doesn't mean that you can't just trick your mind a bit. so let's try this.
ASK (God, the Universe, a tree whatever Creator you wish) Bring true endless faithful devoted LOVE to my life. next BELIEVE that love will happen for you, just with blind faith believe it without knowing about it nor seeing it. then lastly RECEIVE it in your conscious and in your thoughts. Continuously keep in all positive thought that it will happen for you and you will have that desire fulfilled.

[lumos]

I want a hot gentleman ✌🏻️ Why does it always have to be hot scumbad or average gentleman? I'd rather be single than settle.
And if you think you could lose weight and dress better, then do it. Why should someone have to settle for a mediocre version of you when you could be totally hot and awesome? Come on dude, you're basically wondering why you're not getting everything on a silver platter, when you basically don't put any effort into looking attractive. Psh.

[NatashaJ]

You do realize those "hot looks" will disappear right? maybe you care for personality but you get what you say "I want a hot gentleman". Why do you feel that you deserve a hot gentleman just wondering?

[9mfeo]

@NatashaJ everyone deserves to be in a relationship with someone they're physically attracted to. Otherwise, there's no point in dating them.

[NatashaJ]

@9mfeo Yeah I know but for some reason she just seem full of herself I don't know you should offer something your dream guy would want too. Not just he should be everything you want.

[lumos]

@NatashaJ well duh. I don't think I "deserve" anyone, people are human beings and not objects to be traded or bought. It's not like I've been nice all year and Santa will reward me with a hot guy, that's not how it works. I want one, that doesn't mean I "deserve" one or that I am entitled to one, nobody is never entitled to or deserving of another human. And technically hot looks won't disappear, they will change. If a guy is hot to me then that won't change just because he might get some wrinkles and gray hair, or a bit of a chubby belly. He'll still be hot to me because he's the guy I fell in love with, grew with and changed with.

[lumos]

@NatashaJ also I never said that I myself don't have anything to bring to the table, or that I won't put a crazy amount of effort into the relationship? Due to how the mytake was written and what it was about, I just felt like only voicing this aspect.

[NatashaJ]

Ah I see sorry I took it the wrong way then thought you were those girls who just wanted a hot guy but can't explain why she should own one sorry. I'm just tired of the shallowness of a lot of people.

[9mfeo]

Lumos I love you. You're my fave.

[lumos]

@NatashaJ it's ok lol, there are plenty of those around but I'm just a girl who's pretty upfront about what she wants. I'm not ashamed of admitting that looks matter and that I have to be attracted to a partner physically in order to see myself in a relationship with them. What's "hot" to me might not be "hot" to someone else. Shrug.

@9mfeo you're my fave too :*

[NatashaJ]

I understand the way you put it now makes more sense, I'm that way to I have to be attractive first by either personality or looks XD.

[Imafreespirit]

can't blame you, apparently you had bad experiences with women, but not because of that you are gonna forget about love. How old are you? How old were you when you had your relationships? I think you were fairly young, unfortunately, is really hard to find people that want serious relationships at that age.
What did you do when you fall when you were learning how to walk? You fall and you stood up SEVERAL TIMES and after you learned, you were able to walk by yourself and now you still fall sometimes, but you end up standing up again because you don't let those little falls affect your life, you still wanna walk because u know is a wonderful thing to do. Life is not easy and love is one of those things that are gonna hurt but you have to stand up if you wanna succeed, you seem like a person with determination, goals, are you really gonna give up on this because you didn't like what you've experienced so far?
Does it hurt? Sure it does! But thats no excuse to give up on something, you are young and you are still learning and there's gonna be people that are gonna make you fall, but you need to stand up.
I believe love comes with no effort, I think it just happens, but if you close your mind, then its gonna be really hard to experience it. Imagine how your life would be if you decided to not stand up when u were learning how to walk, you wouldn't be were you are.

[GirlsLie]

Honestly if you think your looks are keeping you back, then lose a little weight and work out, you have an attractive face, you're not ugly by any means. Something simple like that could fix it, you're already off to a good start because you're pretty attractive. You would be surprised how much your personality can influence how attracted some girls are to you also. There's no reason why you should be so hopeless about this lol

"Yes I'm fucking mad. I'm sick of hearing about people's issues about their relationships. "I looked at my bf's phone and now he hasn't spoken to me in two weeks." "This guy I'm talking to called me a fat bitch because I won't show him my tits. I still like him a lot though." "My boyfriend won't sleep with me. He's too busy gaming."

Couldn't agree more. The thing is those women are too stupid to bother wasting your time with anyway.

I feel like this take could be directed at a lot of men too. Physical attraction is important to a degree but it shouldn't be nearly as important as it is to some people. Those people most likely have deeper issues anyway and half the same they're not even attractive enough to deserve the perfect 10 they want so badly. My point is that type of person is just another waste of time, for various reasons.

[GirlsLie]

half of the time*

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I have no sympathy for you. What was the point if even posting this myTake if you weren't looking for a pity party. If you're already aware of and have accepted the unfortunate truth, then why do you need to proclaim it to the world via the internet? I feel as though deep down you do wan't a pity party. You want somebody to agree with you, somebody to say that love can and will happen to you eventually, somebody that understands how you feel. The reality of everything though, is if you want to be loved, then be lovable. If nobody wants to date you because of your appearance then do something. Stop wallowing in self pity. I get it, life is hard. I don't know your story, and you don't know mine. However, if you're unhappy with your life, then don't just lay down and let life happen. If life won't present you with an opportunity then you make one. If women don't find you attractive, then do something. Exercise and eat healthy. I know it's a lot easier said than done, and it's bot always possible for people with health issues, but at least try. If you don't want love, and you don't care about it at all, why spread your bitterness to everyone else. If you're happy being loveless then good for you.

[IronPhantom17]

Sorry, I can't hear you over my self pity.

[Anonymous]

I cried a good 30 min right now! Its Saturday and 2am! I cried because I know how you feel so much it hurts. I try to accept that I am most likely to be alone. Its just is the way it is. I have trouble accepting it but I have to grow up eventually. For about good year when I was extermely hurt I avoid eye contact and talk to anyone because I was that hurt. Slowly I been watch romantic movies because I use to avoid it because I avoid my feeling and I still do. I believe some people are just lucky and they meet their high school sweetheart and thats that. Not everyone can say the same. Its just something that will forver hurt me. I try my best to make-up for the love that I so wanted! I been doing okay so far. I practice looking at myself and I talk to myself. And when I feel ugly my pat myself in and repeat in my head its ok its ok... I cope with romantic movies and with friends online and I try to dream and I try to hope. Right now all I want is a friend... someone who understand me and lets me cry. Would I be able to cry in front of someone... Idk! Someday I feel numb and I forget why I do things because I forget to love myself. I have grow up more than the years before. Those girls who lower their standard the reason is because they haven't figure out how beautiful they are. I might not thing I am pretty from the outside but I believe my soul is the most sincere and giving! I might not be smart or pretty or have a job or a future but I try the best of my ability to be as giving and understanding... haha I am still crying!!! okay I was crying for a good 40 min... Anyway... Good luck mate!

[9mfeo]

So you're 22 and you're done with love and dating because two or three girls you were interested in were shallow and callous? Perhaps you need to take a look at the kind of person you're interested in. Are they just beautiful on the outside with no substance? Are they insecure and seeking validation from anyone that will give it to them?

What have you been doing to make yourself happy? Do you base your entire self-worth on your appeal to the opposite sex or are you fulfilled in other ways?

You can absolutely give up, but you're so young that perhaps you'll find later on that you're missing out. Good luck, dude.

[spuitkaas]

Nobody said the dating game would be easy. It sounds like you blame the whole female gender that you got friendzoned and never got a girlfriend and that because you have such a great personality you 'deserve' a girl.
Life owes you nothing and life isn't easy or always fair and it never will be.
Having a good personality is just one piece of the puzzle we look for. We want a good personality, someone stable, someone who takes care of himself (physically and emotionally) and someone who looks for solutions instead of trying to blame everything around him. I could go on for a little while and you might think those are high standards then you should think about your own standards.

[IronPhantom17]

I've had three committed relationships so far. The first one left me for a long distance relationship. The second I walked in on sleeping with my former best friend and the third left me after I proposed to her. Turns out, she was seeing another man for 5 months prior. I have never cheated. I have always worked my absolute hardest to make a woman happy and I have always payed the price for it. So, I think my lack of faith in women has a slight bit of justification. But thanks for twisting the knife.

[spuitkaas]

Alright. You haven't had the greatest experiences with women before. Have you given them enough attention and really listened to their needs with great communication? Cheating can be a result of lacking communication, bad sex or not getting enough attention.
I still think you shouldn't just give up since it sounds like you really want a girl in your life and I'm afraid that if you give up now, you won't feel fulfilled and it results in a low self-esteem.
Going further only gives you more chance of having success.

[IronPhantom17]

I like to give myself a pretty decent amount of credit as a significant other. The fact that each of them said to me over and over "You are the love of my life." gives me confirmation that I was a damn good boyfriend. I worked insane hours to make good money. I made sure that I was the one to make their dreams come true. We traveled the world, we had unforgettable experiences, and I worked to make them happen. When she wouldn't like something about me, I changed. If I made a mistake or said something wrong, I owned the fuck up to it and we talked it out. Don't even DARE try to come up with a justification for a woman cheating or being unfaithful. Short of Rape, Assault and Murder, cheating is the worst thing you can do to someone. Not only does it tear their heart to pieces, it fucking destroys who they are. So, yeah. I think its a good idea to be alone and rich. I have worked my absolute hardest in the name of love. And what do I get? NOTHING.

[BuchitaBuchys]

Good. We don't need weak men like you who feel entitled and blame everyone else for their misfortunes. What is it with so many guys who can't handle rejection or heartbreak?

I used to sympathize, but I know that just enables people who like to have pity parties.

Better you leave now than to be bitter and hating every woman you date.

Also, 22, and already given up? -_____-
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...bce4bb16c8.jpg

[Lioness]

I listened to an interesting podcast regarding love vs romance. Love, true love is sacrifice. This is why most people up until their mid 20's will not experience actual love. People are generally focused on what they want in a relationship which will always create either an imbalance of want/needs or both people will just go their own selfish ways. The path to true love is sacrificing your own wants/happiness for the other person, and visa versa. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Now how many can say they experienced TRUE love?

[RansomDraven]

🎶Dooon't stop... believeinnnn... HOLD ON TO THE FEEEeeeeeEEEling... streetlights... people🎶

For real though, how old are you? From your pic I would guess 20? So you want a serious relationship, understandable. I think it's their age. I just said this to a 20 yr old girl on here with the same issue. People in their early 20's aren't looking for serious relationships usually. Especially for people like myself, when I love I love deep and with all of my heart so when I found myself single at 20 it was ridiculously hard for me. Everyone I dated wanted dinner, hang out, sex. I did nothing but "dinner date" , with 2 men more than once and turn down sex opportunities and delete dick pics for about 2 1/2 years before I found someone who was looking for the same things as me.

[Ninathelovely]

Well first so sorry for what happened to you
but not All girls are the same. trust me so many girls are loyal and not shallow
and they would die for a honest real man. yeah you met the wrong ones but Maybe thats because you had to learn some lessons so when you meet Miss Right you will be Ready for her :) good luck and dont lose hope
sooner or later you will meet your princess

[Anonymous]

Hey man, i totally get what you are saying. Unfortunately i was not born with awesome looks either. Just the way life is. I have been rejected time and time again but i accepted the fact that girls would often want some physical attraction. I don't blame them at all, its their choice. Pity being a good guy never worked.

Eventually i just moved on with my life and build a good career for myself. I work as a high profile banker now and it brings me satisfaction of working hard and achieving my goals. I wish i could have been with a girl and its like a curse to have that male instinctual drive to find a mate but again that's life. Work on improving your self in your career, it won't let you down

[CoolSky01]

bro... you're good looking and weight can be easily lost , but bitches will always exist you have to be dessicive and not look back on girls that hurt you , there is nothing with being like you just lookg for good girls ( which is hard trust me i know how hard it can be ) but its possible

[Anonymous]

Once I stopped giving a fuck about assholes and I stopped wasting my time on men who treated me like shit, my life became so much better once I started worrying about myself first. Now that I weed out bullshit some guys want to get mad at me because they know they are one of the fuckboys. I try not to get my emotions involved and my life has never been better

[RedThread]

You never get emotions involved?

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

I hope you feel better after that rant. I feel better after a rant myself but this changes nothing. You will still be the same tomorrow. This is why i highly disapprove of conplaining and tell guys you have to do something about it.

[ArchDruidMordred]

You say you aren't ranting and raving or looking for a pity party, and then you continue with... this shit.

[Bluemax]

I understand that you have reason to believe that love doesn't seem to be in the cards for you, but why do you not believe in love for other people?

[Rloco]

I've come to terms with this myself but instead of dealing with it the same way I'll just be alone learning to be satisfied with my own company.

[Heyyakk]

Hot scumbag lol

Nooo! You're one of the most love gushy users! Don't let love die T_T

[abundantlyrich]

It seems They want a guy who can listen but make their panties wet

[Anonymous]

I believe in love I just don't believe it's everlasting. Love always seems to have a time limit

[SilenRose]

Only if you fall in love with the wrong person.

[Opinion Owner]

@SilenRose I have never known anyone's relationship to last forver. The person may be the right one but people change and feelings change... over time. It is a fact of life