I've decided to do a review of my experiences in the past and what I think of the whole "Friendzone" thing. I agree with a lot of people who say that the friendzone has been invented as some sort of psychological dungeon that a lot of guys and girls have been sentenced too for being too nice or not making a move in the right time. A lot of people forget that members of the opposite sex are humans, like you and I can guarantee that you have also in the past have rejected someone because they don't match your requirements for a partner. I am going overview what I think of the topic with some of my past experiences.
1. Friends
Hopefully most of us have friends, personally I have quite a lot from both genders. The girls in my friends group are all attractive, do I want to sleep with them? No I don't, I don't see them in that way, apart from one who I will talk about later. These are people that I'm 100% comfortable around, we insult each other and I don't go home thinking about sleeping with them. These are friends!
2. The friendzone.
The way I see it is a lot of guys will take a girl they are super attracted to on a date or two, he will be too nice, not be a challenge and will not want anything more with him apart from friendship. This happens for girls too but it is much more common in guys. The friendzoner will get everything she wants from the guy, attention, favours, compliments and affection and will not give anything in return to the poor sap. The friendzonee will be doing these things expecting that one day she is going to realise that he is the right guy. Guess what? It won't. This is the same if the sex's are shifted round too. Put it this way, If someone offered you a promotion at work which involved more responsibility and less availability for the same salary, would you take it? There's no incentive for them to since they are getting everything they need from you already and they don't need to try!
I've been that guy before and I will tell you that you don't need to be an ass hole to get girls but being a pushover is just as bad. You can still be a good guy but have your own opinion and integrity. If they do something that you don't like voice it, act like they would if you did something to annoy them.
The friendzone is usually futile, I would say 7 times out of 10 you are there for the duration. I have got experience of escaping the zone myself. I will enlighten you. At 17 years old there was a girl who sat across from me in class who I liked, we talked a lot and went to a lot of school parties. I was a bit of a social simpleton at school so I decided to go straight in, told her I liked me and got shut down with "We're just friends". We ended up talking a lot still over the next few years and I wasn't CRAZY about her but I did often thinking about sleeping with her. Over those years I turned from a spotty, skinny teenager with no style to an athletic 21 year old with a good haircut and nice clothes. We see each other after a year and "Hey Presto" she's all over me. At that point I know I could do better and only had a small amount of sexual attraction for her. What did I do? I took her back to mine, slept with her and then friendzoned her when she asked me out. We don't speak anymore but it serves her right for being shallow.
Tips for guys out there, If you feel like you have been sentenced to the friendzone you have a few options.
1. A simple move on! If you have decided this girl isn't the one and you don't see her being a friend in the future simply cut contact and find someone else. If you have feelings for her they will diminish over time.
2. If you think you two are meant to be here's some tips. Don't kiss up to her, be much more of an alpha male and pretend you don't need to answer the phone to her, even if you are free to talk just let it ring! The next time she asks you to go out with her and her friends say you have plans! Even if those plans are sitting in your sweats watching TV and thinking about her, do it anyway. Don't go to far though, pick up the phone every now and again but end the conversation prematurely because someone's at the door for example. If she gets mad, stand your own ground! Flirt a little bit just to give a her a hint that you are still a bit interested but treat her like you would treat a friend. Two things will happen hear. She will realised what she has lost and fight to get you back or she will stop talking altogether and that's called moving on! Win Win. It's also a lesson learnt to be stronger the next time you find a girl you like.
I don't have much advice for girls but I can probably say, due to the fact we are all humans, the same applies. For me, if I friendzone a girl she is there for good, If I'm not attracted to her then I never will be, the same probably applies.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Finally a really good and helpful take. I was tired of reading the 'friendzone is a myth. go fuck yourself pussies' takes. I myself was that type of guy but it tooks me many years of efforts and trial and error to realize how to get out of it. I am sure you will be attacked by feminists for the "I took her back to mine, slept with her and then friendzoned her when she asked me out. " - these same people who say that a woman doesn't owe you sex for being nice but think a man owes her commitment for being sexual.
I don't entirely agree with your tips a t the end, but overall nice article
You made some very good points here.