Drinking Lemonade 🍋: Why It's Not Becky's Fault

[Anonymous]

Everyone is freaking out about who Becky could be in Beyoncé's "Lemonade" 🍋 and in reality it's not Becky's fault. She isn't the one that promised to remain faithful to her, to be true to her. Who knows what she was told. Jay Z could have told her all sorts of beautiful lies that she fell for just like Beyoncé has time and time again.

The other woman (or man) is never the one that deserves all the blame or the hurt. It's the other partner, the cheater, the liar. Once we stop blaming those that were lied to and start looking at things critically, it's easy to find peace and acceptance. If they lied to you, the person they supposedly love, then what's stopping them from lying to someone else. They're a victim just as much as the one who was cheated on.

I have confronted two of the other women from my past relationship. One was my best friend when she became the other woman, and the other was just an acquaintance. Both women have good hearts. Neither of them went into being the other woman with the intent to hurt me or break us up. My friend was told that my ex didn't want to be with me less than a month into our relationship together and that I was just a hook up. He told that both he and I were only interested in sex and that she could be his only.

Then once they did the dead, he told her sorry I only wanted to be with Kat. I was engaged when he started hooking up with the acquaintance. I actually thanked her the other day because without her, I'd never would've been able to escape that abusive relationship. I didn't go into detail. All I said was that my life is a lot better now and she played a part in it in a roundabout way so thank you. I never held any bad feelings towards her. I'm truly grateful for what happened and all she cared about was apologizing for what happened.

The other person isn't to blame. It does take two to tango but they are just as lied to and as manipulated as the one being cheated on. Having understanding and sympathy for that has made the heal process so much easier. I hope others can learn from my experience and bring peace to their lives.

[TadCurious]

If the "other woman/other man" knows that the person they're with is involved already in a relationship then they're just as bad as the person who's cheating. If they don't know the person is already involved, that's one thing. But if they do it's another. There is no honor among thieves, and there is no honor among cheaters and their knowing accomplices.

[cipher42]

No? They have some guilt maybe, but they're definitely nowhere near as bad as the other person. The person in a relationship is betraying their partner by cheating, a person who trusts them and who they should be being loyal to. The person they cheat with, on the other hand, has no such obligations and is not breaking anyone's trust by cheating.

[myTake Owner]

@cipher42 thank you for understanding my point

[teawrecks]

As others have said, if the other person is aware that they're the other person, then they're shitty.

This coming from the other person who knew/knows she's the other person.

I think the ones who are lied to deserve no blame.

[thewanderingme]

wait, I'm not sure if I'm misunderstanding, you're someone's other woman?

[myTake Owner]

Yes but I still don't think they should get all the blame. That was my mistake the first time I learned he cheated on me and blamed both her and myself for his actions. I was so emotionally abused at that point I thought he had to be right and I must be crazy like he kept telling me

[Chief16]

So... Becky didn't know Jay Z and Beyonce be married?
static2.fjcdn.com/.../...56565dfea96d133a51e67.gif
If you know something is wrong and still allowing, its bad enough.
Further if you partake in it. I'm sorry, that's a conscious choice you made, to be with a married man is a fully conscious choice. Also makes her a partner in crime.

[myTake Owner]

I'm not saying that she didn't know but she could've been told that they are divorcing, that the marriage is a shame and just for show, that they never loved each other. We don't know. Also this isn't about Beyoncé, it's just a jumping point for my own experience

[Anonymous]

JESUS! Jay-Z didn't cheat Beyoncé's ex Lyndell Locke did. They were in like a 10 year relationship. He even admitted to it in a few interviews. Lemonade isn't about getting over jay-z cheating it's about her learning to love again after the heart break of her ex (and a little from her father too). That's why literally every single scene Jay-Z is in is a positive scene. That whole scene about loss makes no sense if the relationship didn't actually end. Even Rhianna doesn't believe Jay-Z cheated. Now that I've got that off my chest, I definitely agree with the rest of what you've said.

[myTake Owner]

It wasn't about the song at all. I used it as a jumping point for my own experience but ok

[Opinion Owner]

I know that's why I mentioned I agreed with the rest of your post. I had nothing bad to say about the other stuff you wrote.

[myTake Owner]

Well thank you and yeah I realized my mistake with their relationship shortly after posting this but it doesn't allow corrections or edits

[CosmicallyCombined]

"Becky" shouldn't be pardoned from willingly choosing to be a catalyst to someone else's heartache. She chose to be an indecent human being who participated in the backstabbing of someone else therefore it makes sense that Yonce`, or any individual in her position, would feel some sort of anger towards "Becky" for not putting an end to something that got her hurt.

"Becky"s who try to find loopholes around practicing integrity and being a decent human being are still wrong no matter how much they try to justify their lack of self-discipline and control over their vaginas, egos, and/or hearts. Screwing someone over is wrong, participating in screwing someone over is wrong, letting someone get screwed over while you smile in their face is wrong.

[myTake Owner]

I originally viewed it that way when my ex cheated on me. Then after talking to both women I realized that it wasn't there responsibility, it was his. He chose to cheat, he chose to lie, he chose to pass the blame on to them and myself for the fact that he couldn't remain faithful to me. If I had blamed him instead of myself and the other woman, I probably wouldn't have suffered with depression as bad as I had. I probably would've gotten out of that abusive relationship a lot sooner and lived my life in a way that was too to me instead of trying to figure out how I pushed him to cheat when I really had done everything right.

[CosmicallyCombined]

I've heard people express that and I still disagree as someone who's never been cheated on and views the situation from an outside perspective. Yes, your former partner chose to be a bad partner and cheat. However, another human being chose to accompany him in his process of stabbing you in the back and shitting all over you. Why do you think people can be charged as an accessory and receive punishment as well? Because it is wrong to not intervene or go along with a scheme or situation that is getting someone else hurt. Point blank period.

He was wrong but so is she and so is "Becky".

[myTake Owner]

But Becky still isn't as guilty as he is. That's the thing, Becky was an accessory as you said but she usually gets 120% of the blame while the one who actually broke promises, lied, and cheated gets off Scott free.
I mean look at the Jennifer Gardner and Ben Afleck. Everyone blamed the babysitter/nanny and Jennifer for not seeing it sooner. Ben was let off with at best a slap on the wrist. It's a common story with the same people getting all the blame instead of the person who actually fucked up

[CosmicallyCombined]

And that's your opinion. I guess we will never agree.
Whether you think "Becky" is as guilty or not, she's still guilty and she should still be held accountable and called out for her part in a major wrongdoing.

I don't know what stupid women you and others refer to when they don't show any anger to their men at all for cheating. People act like women will They usually just deal with "Becky" and say nothing to the guy who cheated but I have NEVER seen that happen. The women tend to just deal with that anger in a different way because they intend on keeping the men in their lives whereas Becky is some non-factor that they don't feel they have to be gentle with at all.

How do YOU know that Ben left with a slap on the wrist? You weren't a fly on the wall to their relationship. You don't know what happened behind closed doors. You don't know what politics or other factors had to do with the way she handled him so you nor anyone else have a right...

[CosmicallyCombined]

to scold a woman for how she personally deals with a cheater based on her own unique situation as an individual.

People who rant and rave about "Becky" getting all the blame always sound really stupid to me like their opinion is led by their own frustrated emotions. Women deal with cheaters in their own way. Becky gets blamed to because it is wrong for anyone in any situation to visibly see someone being sh*tted all over and stabbed in the back yet not intervene and actually play along.

[myTake Owner]

You're right. She does still deserve some blame and I don't know what "actually" happened in any relationship other than my own. This piece was really about my own realizations that I had a lot of misplaced blame due to how abusive and manipulative my ex was. I realized that while "Becky" did mess up too, she wasn't the one I needed to be mad at. I noticed though that whenever I talked to people in my life about it though, everyone would go on and on about the evils that "Becky" did and how she should've been the better person. She's not in my life though and I'm not a part of hers.
When it came to my ex though it was oh but he really loves you, yes it was a mistake but he feels really bad about it. I even had one friend who straight up said no he would never do that, he's such a great guy he would never cheat on anyone. He was the person in my life who was supposed to stick by me, talk to me about problems so we can resolve them, and stay faithful.

[myTake Owner]

I shouldn't have listen to other people about my relationship but I did. I learned from my mistakes. I've moved on and am now very happily married to an amazing guy.
When Lemonade came out though, I had recently been in touch with 2 of the other women from my own life and realized that while I had every right to be angry with them and think they aren't a great person, but they still didn't deserve as much hate and blame as I threw at them. Does that make sense? Like we aren't buddy buddy, I'm not about to go on a shopping spree or out to dinner with them or trust them with anything in my life, but I don't blame them for the downfall and abuse that happened in my last relationship

[CosmicallyCombined]

That's great that you were able to come to a harmonious revelation that gave you peace of mind. However, whether Becky was in your life or not: she could have intervened in you being backstabbed and instead she chose to participate. That is why "Becky" infuriates various people. It's like the silent kid who does nothing while some asshole is bullying someone else. Or the friend who stays quiet while his friend is stealing his grandma's pain killers because he'll benefit from it too. When there is a fucked up, disgusting, grimy situation going on and someone has the power to stop it yet they choose to play a part in it, it tends to piss people off. I don't think people have to lie to themselves or pretend they don't feel some sort of anger at the accomplice who also encouraged a piss poor situation.

[CosmicallyCombined]

Whatever personal conclusion you came to in order to help you get through being betrayed is your business and I have no place to tell you whether it's right or wrong. If it worked for you and helped you move forward, then power to you. But the "Beckys" of this world who don't take a stand against grimy, dirty, low down behavior and instead participate in it will ALWAYS get flack from everyone else because it's disgusting.

[myTake Owner]

And I completely agree with that. I'm not denying their involvement or saying that they aren't a shit person, they are. For me though, I also needed to blame my shit partner at the time too, not just them.

[CosmicallyCombined]

No offense, but I don't know why a woman would blame only the hoe and not her partner as well. That just makes zero sense to me.

[myTake Owner]

I used to think the same thing and I still blamed my partner. I didn't blame him as much as I blamed her though because I desperately wanted to work things out and had been manipulated into thinking I played a role in "forcing" him to cheat

[luvstoned4him]

I agree with what you so providing that the other women doesn't know what is going on. However, nowadays pp; knows shit and still dive in anyways. That being said, I also do thorough background search on every guy. My hearts been fucked with and I can't go through that shit again. No matter how good someone appears, always second guess it.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes, the other person IS partially to blame, other times, they could have been innocent and lied to like you stated. But that's the thing. You can't say that ALL "Becky"s are totally faultless (which is what your MyTake seems to be saying), some (if not MANY) nasty people are fully aware that the person they're sleeping with is in a "committed" relationship and they just. don't. care. They're selfish, they're inconsiderate, they're stupid, and they're scum.

[myTake Owner]

Even though both the other women were aware in my relationship I really can't blame them because my ex was such a liar and so manipulative that who knows what they believed was going to happen

[Opinion Owner]

A person with a properly functioning conscious is unwilling to bang someone in a non-open relationship (and even if the guilty partner claims that it's an "open " relationship, should still be wary). I understand there's different ways a guy could manipulate the side chick, and I'm certainly not saying in ANY case that the innocent partner should be angrier at the side piece than their own boyfriend/girlfriend, all I'm saying is that in many cases the "Becky" is not a particularly stand-up girl/guy

[myTake Owner]

I'm not saying that they're a good person either. I'm just saying that it was the cheaters responsibility to stay faithful in the relationship and the person who should take the majority of the blame. But I like many women was taught and told how it was the other woman's fault along with my own that he cheated

[LittleSally]

Yeah.
Beyonce is just another famous attention whore who stays in a sham of a relationship so that she can 'keep up appearances' while simultaneously playing the victim. Manipulation.

[myTake Owner]

This wasn't actually about Beyoncé at all. It was just a jumping point for my own experience.

[Anonymous]

soooo, you were (or currently are) the other woman and are using some dumb song to get your message across that's it's not your fault?

ok. cool sorry, bro. nobody cares! ;)

[myTake Owner]

Actually I was the one that was cheated on and recently sat down and talked with the women who were the other women in my former relationship

[vishna]

The cheating partner is the worst person, they could leave, but they don't.
If the other person knows about the partner, they're a terrible person too.

[somebodysaycheese]

Thing about " beckys" is they always know they a Becky ! Get what I'm saying, a hoe a hoe male or female,

[Raymond_Reddington]

img.buzzfeed.com/.../...ed-26598-1409183854-16.gif

[WombRaider]

There should be more concern about her promoting Black Lives Matter. Not only was it founded by a cop killer, it's condoning thugs like Mike Brown and perpetuating black victimhood.

[myTake Owner]

Beyoncé wasn't the point of the article. It was about the other woman/person in a relationship

[CoolSky01]

who cares? they are rich and can do whatever they want, get over yourself and have a life

[myTake Owner]

It wasn't about the song at all. I used it as a jumping point for my own experience but ok

[damnwinter]

Sorry, but in this case they are both to blame. BOTH behaviours are appaling and none of the 2 is excusable under any circumstances.

[WhaChaChaKing]

If the other person knows then they're a douche bag especially if they're your friend or "best" friend. Both are to blame but the cheating partner is worse.

[dominiquois]

It is Becky's fault it's just most of the blame falls on Jay-Z

[John_Doesnt]

Oh my God becky, look at her butt. It's so big and black.

[myTake Owner]

Funny

[Anonymous]

whooooooooooooooo caressssssssssss

[Anonymous]

What a pointless mytake its just a fucking song

[myTake Owner]

It wasn't about the song at all. I used it as a jumping point for my own experience but ok