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I've been wondering about this for a while.
A little back story first: A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far... Okay, sorry. It really does seem like another time in my life as it was over a decade ago, but I used to write for AskMen.com. My nom de plume was simply "The Player" (those of you familiar with the site might know this character), and it was my job to assume command of a personality with which I couldn't quite identify. But hey, I figured, "how hard can it be?"
Wasn't that hard, actually. As a writer first and foremost, I pulled it off. I lent a little sophistication to the role and actually managed to include some old-fashioned values and a respect for women most "players" don't have. But the point is, I successfully posed as an expert in the realm of dating and sex advice for over four years.
Does that make me a legitimate relationship expert? Probably not. I have a degree in Psychology but I never got any advanced degree, and I can't call myself a "sexologist" or some sort of therapy master. At the same time, there were a lot of readers who bought the act and frankly, I think I offered some pretty solid advice, time and time again. I actually got to think of myself as a reliable source as opposed to someone who simply knows a little about interpersonal relationships and has, of course, dated in the past. In other words, I really thought of myself as an "expert" after a while.
Now I'm seeing the title popping up EVERYWHERE. It's like anyone can hang out their virtual shingle and call themselves a "relationship/dating advice expert." Most of them certainly have no formal education and aside from writing a few self-published books, I fail to see how they're "experts." Then again, they can be awfully popular and therefore, lots of people are buying what they're selling. Does that mean it's working? Can they be relied upon?
Maybe. I really don't know. I was just wondering what people thought about this issue:
When you see the label "Relationship Expert," what do you think? Do you immediately assume this person doesn't know more than the average goofball and just knows how to market himself/herself better than others? Or do you think it might be someone who could actually help you?
I really do believe The Player helped some guys out there (and no, not at the expense of women). Even so, I doubt I have enough experience in the realm of dating and love to be called an "expert." Maybe that's all it comes down to: Experience. Those who do something - anything - more than others are bound to know more about it, right? Then again, those who keep trying and failing shouldn't be revered...okay, so you've gone on 278 first dates. That tells me you can get the dates but it also tells me you must suck at the rest of it.
Thoughts on this? Is the term #RelationshipExpert just a buzzword now that doesn't mean much of anything?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Yeah most things that say they know about relationships doesn't help at all.
Only expert I'm becoming is an expert in my over 4 years long distance relationship and how to handle it better. So now if I read anything talking about how to survive a long distances relationship. I think how stupid they sound and how much they are leaving out. They don't say the most important things that keep one alive and going amazing. By now at some times it's hard because I wish I could touch him. Though compared to in the beginning it's not a walk in the park and time is just flying by and soon we will be able to plan on meeting up physically.
Pick up artists are hands down the best "relationship experts". Naturals couldn't care because they just do. So a bunch of struggling men decided to study what these dudes do and make a plan to emulate this and the reasons why it works. Pick up books have saved my arse in the dating game. It's incredible, the nice lovey stuff that women go on about will NEVER get a man laid, but the pick up stuff does and women hate it. It just blows my mind. Like how illogical can people be. The proof is in the pudding.
Well, picking up someone and maintaining a relationship are two very different skill-sets, wouldn't you agree?
You having no relationship if you can't pick up. You need both sets. And the cruelest irony of this all is that pick up is nothing more than skills to show your great personality in a way that doesn't scare women off. it's just who you are. So it's not really skills. Kindness, compassion, sacrifice, all those nice thins are great for long term relationships. But it won't happen if you don't have pick up game. We just had deangelo on gag now. It was his concept of "cocky funny" that changed my talent of humour into a pick up weapon. Women say they love humour and I was always very humerous. But i got friendshipzoned. Why why why? Until I read his stuff and a few tweaks here and there and now I can up my chances in getting a potential mate for a long term.
Okay, so that's someone who has given you tips that worked for you. That answers part of the question. But it remains true that maintaining a long-term relationship and getting women to go out on first dates with you are two completely different sets of abilities. You DO need both, of course.
I noticed it too. Suddenly everyone is a relationships expert... I doubt that those people actually know what they are talking about, I constantly listen to the same cliches and commonplace advice being thrown around. And the same advice might not apply to two different people, or it might have been helpful when you applied it on your ex, but it failed with your current boyfriend.