Relationships

Solving a Frustrating Relationship Battle: How to Decide Where To Eat

Decisions, decisions! How to decide where you and your partner will go to eat.

A young, nice, and wise user - @Ginnyweasley97 - posted a myTake about vows she will make when she takes the plunge with The One. Her vows are humorous reflections on what she anticipates she will encounter in married life. It is worth reading:



https://www.girlsaskguys.com/marriage-weddings/a27707-vows-that-i-will-inevitably-make-to-my-future-husband



One of her intended vows is:



"I promise to not answer your question of, 'where should we eat' with the answer, 'I don't know whatever you want.' I laughed when I read this because that is a problem that I had with my ex.



We would get in the car and my plan was to take her out to dinner because she had been at home - alone - all day. Nice plan, huh!?



"Where do you want to go?" I asked.



"I don't care. You just pick a place," she replied.



"Okay. We'll go to Bono's!" If I got to make the decision . . . a Southern boy can eat barbecue six nights a week and be mighty happy!


Solving a Frustrating Relationship Battle: How to Decide Where To Eat

"Can you pick some other place?" she asked. "I had ribs for lunch Monday."



"So what?" I thought to myself. This is Friday. Monday was 14 years ago in barbecue time, but . . . I'll never win that argument so why start it? "Okay. Beach Road Chicken," I announced my alternative selection. I was happy with that. A Southern boy can eat fried chicken six nights a week and be mighty happy!


Solving a Frustrating Relationship Battle: How to Decide Where To Eat

"Don't you remember?" she asked. Her tone of voice clearly indicated that she "fixin' to" correct me on something.



"Remember what?" I responded. "I sure as hell remember fried chicken and mashed potatoes at the Beach Road . . ."



"Your mother said she might fix fried chicken for lunch on Sunday," she interrupted with her reminder which was obviously a signal that all conversation about fried chicken must stop . . . immediately!



"Okay, then. Where do YOU want to go?" I inquired, not trying to hide my irritation.



"Oh, I don't care. It doesn't matter to me!" she replied as if she really meant what she was saying.


Solving a Frustrating Relationship Battle: How to Decide Where To Eat

"It obviously does matter, so I'll give you three choices. One, you can tell me where you want to go. Two, I can just drive somewhere without telling you where we're going. If you don't like my choice, you can sit in the car while I go in and eat. Three, I can just turn the car around and go home, If there's nothing else at home to eat, you can open a can of cat food, because I really don't give a flying fuck at this point!" I'm not easily irritated but this happened on a frequent basis and I felt like Charlie Brown running to kick the football.



We were married, but it was not a marriage made in heaven. I already referred to her as my ex, so there is no surprise ending to this story. Ultimately, we got divorced because of the extraordinarily stupid games she played, similar to this, some mild and mundane, some creatively evil. We stayed married for 17 years before I got liberated; I'll spare you the details. When the judge signed our final judgment of divorce, we walked out of his office. I turned and said my final loving words to her . . .



"RETURN TO HELL, DEMON!"


Solving a Frustrating Relationship Battle: How to Decide Where To Eat

Somewhere along the way, I actually did devise a solution to the problem of deciding where to eat. Two solutions, take your pick.



1. I just drove to the mall and went to the food court. This was not my preferred solution, but it was a solution. If she couldn't find anything that she wanted to eat at the food court, she could go shopping. She did go shopping several times. Most women love to shop. This is not a bad solution if you are trying to maintain domestic tranquility . . . unless money is an issue.


Solving a Frustrating Relationship Battle: How to Decide Where To Eat

2. I would ask her to name three types of food that would be acceptable to her. The choices covered the typical cuisines available in casual dining: hamburgers, steak house, seafood, Mexican food, Italian food, Chinese, cafeteria, home style, diner, etc. I would eliminate one of the three options and she would eliminate one; whatever was left was the cuisine du jour.



Then I would name three restaurants that served that particular type of food. She would eliminate one option, then I would eliminate one option, and I turned the car and headed towards whatever restaurant was left standing.


Solving a Frustrating Relationship Battle: How to Decide Where To Eat

Eventually, I made a list of restaurants that we liked. It was divided by cuisine. It included phone numbers so that, while we were out, we could call to make sure the restaurant was open and had seating available (this series of events that I fondly refer to as "living in Hell" occurred BSP - Before Smart Phones.) The list contained at least three choices for each cuisine.



I solved the problem of where to eat and I eventually solved the problem of a contrary wife. Hopefully, all you need to work on is the evening meal!

Solving a Frustrating Relationship Battle: How to Decide Where To Eat
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