(this is gonna be long...)
I've recently been asked by too many people in private, what are the greatest qualities to have a healthy relationship in which you almost never fight and get along. Now, since I think it's almost impossible - but I do have my own statistics and experience with women - I'd like you all to share your thoughts just for the sake of help to those of us who are afraid to approach women, or those who don't know how to arouse curiosity in others.
I'm putting "great looks" aside, since it's something we are all born with (most of the time) and I'll try to touch on everything I see as important. I must say, of course all of you may not agree with me, so without further ado:
1. The best way to have any advantage upon others, is knowledge.
Seek wisdom and get to know every detail you can learn. It could be anything.. (it's great for people who think they're only good for "first dates", and can't go through that barrier to the second and third).
Regardless of that, if you're in a relationship, your partner will always take what you say into account, and ascribe more importance than if you were "less" smart. Besides that, men will feel inferior next to you, regardless of their looks. You wanna beat a hot guy? Be wiser, or have a bigger **** than his. Period. Since only one of these two requirements is acquirable, seek wisdom every day.
2. Try to have hobbies and interests as much as you can.
If you're one of those who are "anti" and discriminate against people for their beliefs, habits, or taste (yes, even musical taste)......know that you have much less to offer than others. This is very helpful for those of you who feel "bored" in a relationship.
It's great to tell your partner "fuck it, lets go hiking, snorkeling, camping, to a comedy show, to hear lectures about the universe, basketball, to a concert, to an opera show, fishing, poker, frisbee, to the beach..." The longer your list is, the lower the chances people will get bored of you.
3. Women love to drift with thoughts, so don't be afraid to talk about the future with them.
We are always being judged about how "short sighted" we are, so show them you are much more than "what will we do tomorrow?" Regardless of the future, share with your women most of what you think about. Most of them were born with the privilege to admire any word that comes with a word after it.
For most of them, the more you talk (with sense) the greater value you have. (could be controversial for some of you)
4. Be funny.
One of the oldest tricks in the books, and may be for some women the holy grail. If you're funny, you already did 90% of the job. Try to have a very esoteric sense of humor as well, since you dont wanna sound like others. Try not to have too many of racist jokes (although some love them in any quantity), and beware of insults. Most women would prefer you to be funny without the need of lowering others. It tells a lot about you as a human being. The most important - try to laugh at yourself and clarify that you can appreciate a good joke, even if it's at your expense. Self-deprecation is welcome most of the time.
5. Be smarter than others, but dont seek to condescend them.
We almost never pay attention to how we ruin ourselves with women with one sentence in which we sound patronizing or haughty. Even if there are women who love that kind of a character, most women don't. And a great tip - if you still wanna patronize anyone - do it with an iota of humor.
6. Show them you want them.
It's easy to say beautiful things, much harder doing them, so anything you could possibly think of, just do it. 99% of the time we know what people expect from us. So it isn't that hard.
7. Show maturity in subjects and ideas most men would laugh at or treat as "false" or "feminine".
That's the best way for you to be "seen" by others. If they see you as a child, why do you think they would want you as a "partner"?
8. Compliment other men.
Regardless of your sexual tendencies, show your lady that you're more than confident with yourself to compliment others. This really helps- psychologically - to overcome some of our biggest "concerns" we might be possessed with.
9. Always show indifference when a very beautiful woman comes near you.
If you caught her by the angle of your slightest sight, never look at her, nor stare at her. That's what they expect you to do. So if you're a single, the best way to be looked at - is actually never look at...
furthermore, if you're not single and your woman is next to you, touch her, speak with her, compliment her, or do whatever it is that affirms she is the ONLY stunningly beautiful woman in the room by far.
10. Don't be afraid of the fights and arguments, use them to make your value greater.
Don't be afraid to tell a woman she's right (we all know, they are not always right..) Prove to them they are wrong without sounding patronizing, and with no insults. Don't stoop to any ignorant levels. I used to initiate fights in which I knew I'm gonna agree with my ex's, just for them to know that I'm capable of having a conversation even when I'm mad. (-:
11. Express and build your confidence from the things that you know and believe you are good at.
If you're single, never take someone to a date in a place that you don't know, or somewhere where u don't need to talk. Taking a girl to a movie is cute, but sit for a half an hour before, to assure her that you're not afraid to talk with her. The best way to make and leave a great first impression is actually by aiming towards the great things you do and are good at. Such as if you're smart, show it. If you're strong - go punch those shitty stuff that cost money (idk what it's called in English. eh, fuck it).
Whatever you do, always aim for your advantages, but never be too afraid of the stuff you're weak at.
True confidence will eventually grow in you, thus causing women to pay attention more. If you're in a relationship, have a WORD from time to time, just to assure that you're not a "yes-man". Don't bend over every time, and clarify to everyone that your principles are not something to touch with, yet - show the willingness to talk about anything and hear other's opinions. We are men - eventually! Keep that in mind!
12. Respect everyone, and show tolerance and patience.
Women don't like men who tilt fast, and have no respect for others. They often seek some peace of mind with us, since they are very "hormonal" and might be acting edgy. Besides that, women always expect us to get pissed from most things in life (just cause we're men), so indifference is mostly welcomed. It is much sexier than what we think (through their eyes). If you're in a relationship this could only lead to great comprehension. There's nothing wrong at being the adult, especially if you're the man in the relationship. Most women will look for someone who acts like adult, even if he isn't, and there's nothing like respect, tolerance and patience.. to express your maturity.
13. Find the right amount of "jealousy".
I always recommend to have NO jealousy at all, but I know you women love that in some way when men are jealous. Luckily I was born with the ability not to be jealous of anyone, and it always helped me. So remember guys, the more jealousy you show, the more insecure you appear. For me jealousy is a derivative of two things: low self esteem/confidence, and an inferiority complex (which is rather a derivative of insecurity), so the more confidence you build.. the less jealousy you will feel. Try to show as much as you can that you are not jealous, and let your women go out and hang out without you, and have any fun they want. Don't be obsessive and compulsive without them, don't text like a crazy man without his drugs. It's a great turn off, and there's no going back afterwards.
14. I'll end with this, since there are much too many things to say...try to be as open as you can with sex.
Think like a grown up..women - who love sex - despise men who act funny, or lazy when it comes to bedroom habits. You may have it all, but in the bedroom - if you don't hold enough - everything you've
read before this (1-13).... is futile. As a matter of fact, you can and may work on anything in a relationship, but not "chemistry". If you lack that, you lacked it all (again, if your woman loves sex.. and you'll know whether she does or not).
Try to keep your mind open about her sexual behavior. If her behavior looks funny, remember that she's not the only one with it. Since most women won't have an orgasm with their partners, understand that you have the power to do anything for them to in order to enjoy sex, or even reaching orgasms with you (not always from you..). Not all seek orgasms, and not all seek to have an orgasm from you directly. Women would appreciate you more if you brought something to help them cum, if they saw that you already did your best without succeeding. No matter what, once you figured out how to make them enjoy/cum... always try to improve, else - you will fail and bore them.
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