What I Learned from Going to 9 Different Psychologists in 1 Year.

[amandaschwartz]

At the beginning of 2017, I ended a 4 year relationship. After all it was better than wasting my time with someone abusive... I started eating tons, crying over every memory, and went into a deep depression. It was difficult to get out of bed or have a purpose to live. In fact, even my work performance suffered. It wasn't until my best friend recommended going to a psychologist that I began to learn the very different approaches and lessons of my endeavor. After 9 different psychologists had been in my life, helping my guide my feelings this was my summary:

1. Don't look to them to tell you what to do or how to act
I was hoping that one of these intelligent therapists could help me or rather tell me what to do. Do I text my ex? Is it ok if I stop by where he works? The issue with this of course is that one therapist would tell me "do it, as long as you put up boundaries", while the other would tell me "under no circumstances should you have any contact with your ex". Of course I was confused and perplexed. In such situations as I went through, I would suggest not looking to your therapist to tell you what to do, because different people have different logic, and can you really base your life decisions on that?

2. Different connections
I went through 9 psychologists until I found the one that I felt that i had a connection with. Someone that I felt could understand me and really recognize what it is that i was looking for. One therapist was fun to talk to, the other had no personality and i felt awkward, another was simply not willing to let me talk and did most of the talking. You gotta do your research.

3. Male versus female psychologists matter
When I started out with a male psychologist i felt uncomfortable talking about intimate issues because I felt that although he was a professional, he was seeing it from a male perspective. Later on I found a female therapist, and this feeling went away.

4. Trust is a 2 way street
Just as much as a therapist has to trust what you're saying and how you're feeling progress wise, you gotta be able to trust the person that you're opening up to. Until I felt that bond develop I was unwilling to continue opening up.

5. Different approaches
Some therapists will get you to read material, while others watch a video, some may even suggest meditation. You gotta be prepared that not all approaches will work for you, and that it is best to find out what you are willing to try and find someone that is close to your ideals.

Thank you, and I hope that this helps those of you that are looking at starting therapy.

[Logorithim]

Interesting Take. I get the feeling most of the solutions come from within.

[Livinglogical]

6. Find someone who specialises in victims of narcissistic abuse. A lot if psychologists have very little knowledge about npd.

[amandaschwartz]

Great point, thank you!

[villageidiot]

WOW You must have great insurance!