Eve: I gave everything to save this relationship yet he never appreciate my efforts, I’m sure He don’t love me anymore, I’m sure he never did …
Adam: I don’t understand, she is so complicated, I listen to her do everything she asks but she is never happy. She doesn’t love me , I guess she never did.
In fact, both Eve and Adam love each other but in the wrong way, they ignore their main emotional needs and did a life size mistake which is : giving to the other what we expect to receive. As a result, unnecessary misunderstandings that only we, ladies and gentlemens could avoid if we understood that men and women are different, they think and act according to their emotional needs. Now a lot of you guys are going to blaze me in the comments talking about how I long established the stereotype but .. it is the truth! Wether you like it or not, men are different from women also that what makes the attraction unique, they complete each other, their union is nearly two planets trying to combine a new one and the only way for this to happen without explosion is to understand our MAIN EMOTIONAL NEEDS.
What man needs:
Trust acceptance
Appreciation
Admiration
Approbation
Encouragement
What woman needs:
Attention
Comprehension
Respect
Devotion
Emotions
assurance
Of course that doesn’t mean that a man wouldn’t want this feminine values, they are quite common actually but he just doesn’t give them much importance, so they are secondary for him, And vice versa for the woman.
As long as our core emotional needs aren’t satisfied, we can not appreciate every aspect of love, so that makes 12 facades for both sexes, quite different but they complete each other for example : if a man express his attachement and his comprehension to his significant other, she will do nothing but please him in return she communicates her trust to him and makes sure to let him know that she accepts who he is, considering his flaws aswell , after the man will receive the message cristal clear that Eve trust him, he will give her the attention that she needs. See ? it’s a give to get kinda cirle, a good healthy one .
Mistakes that Eve makes
She tries to change Adam’s behavior by giving him advices that he never asked.
As a result, Adam will feel that she doesn’t trust him and this is bad bad bad for a man !
She will tries to express her negative emotions towards his behaviours which will eventually make the situation even worst, what do you expect ? this idea will logically pop into his head thinking : my so doesn’t accept me as I am because yeah
( he will totally get it if you are trying to manipulate or punish him by expressing your anger or such … )
Eve never talks about what he did for her but never loose an occasion to blah blah blah about what he never did instead, clearly she didn’t got the message yet EVE !!! you’re manifesting zero appreciation to you’re man nor validation.
She will unterrupt him while he talks and act as if she has a kid in front of her eyes: now this is even worst! Which will lead him to think that you lost admiration for him, it is like your shutting his voice down clearly not what every man wants in a relationship
Not even you Eve ! you even have the guts to express your disapprobation at times and wonder why does he thinks that she thinks that he is an “unqualified husband”. This could come in indirect type of questions such as : “ how could you do that?”
Finally, she would correct unnecessarily and even criticize his life decisions and initiatives, pushing us all and not only adam to think oh boy, you could of done better than my elementary teacher though xD this is a red flag in his mind, I mean not to blame him but this is CRYSTAL CLEAR THAT YOU’RE NOT ENCOURAGING HIM!!!
Mistakes that Adam makes :
Adam is just like Eve, lost in his beliefs. He panics when she comes handed with problems, instead of listening he jumps to conclusions, harassing her with solutions because this is how he thinks should work, in his mind she should feel better because mister solving issues is here ! but what he doesn’t know is that all she needs is the way he deels with her emotions, all she wants is talk to him about it and a listener nothing too etra. He often begins the process in an excellent manner but manages to screw up at the end sadly he listens but at the end doesn’t react, so he will not support her and in the end her reaction is priceless.
Nothing serves if we love in the wrong way...
In the end, we can clearly say that love stories falls in the water quite often because both of the partners give instinctvly what they want to get, without taking into account the primordial needs. but for a solid base we should not take these elements lightly, if we want to build a family cocoon in a healthy environment, we will have to give in to our beliefs.
Thank you for reading.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
I have never seen anyone express it more clearly. People often ignore this. I cringe inwardly when I see women putting a man down, because I think, in my mind this is just making him think you dont love him... and he is never ever enough. We should try to put ourselves in the other's shoes and avoid disrespecting them as much as possible.
After all, we love them. Dont they also deserve our respect?
We can't demand respect if we give no respect.
Of course men also screw up many times in understanding women. I am just talking about what I know, because I am a woman lol.
Im fully ready to give a girl those things, however I don’t know if I’m really going to be able to trust her?
what is your definition of trust?
Being able to believe that she’ll follow through with plans she’s made and being able to be open and honest with her
Very nice and intersting.