Things You Should Never Forgive in Relationships

[Anonymous]

Well hello everyone,

It's me again.

Today's MyTake is about relationships,and to be more specific is about things you shouldn't forgive in a relationship.

Of course forgiving for everyone is different,cause not all of us consider the same things equally important or bad as others.

Here I wrote some of the most classic/basic incidents that may happen,that most of the times don't take forgiveness because they are considered,by most of us,wrong.

(And just to be clear,I don't say that there aren't any exceptions to these)

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Things You Should Never Forgive in Relationships

1.Your Partner Getting Physical.

The fact there is a girl in the pic doesn't mean that men can't be abused.

If your partner,guy or girl,lays his/her hands on you is a signal that you should leave right away.

There isn't time for softness or forgivness,you need to break the relationship.

He/she has issues that you will never be able to help him/her with,you need to put right priorities and save yourself before it's too late.

If he/she get physical you have to understand that your physical integrity and health is in danger. Don't try to question or find a reason behind his/her actions, just leave him/her behind,forget and move on.

2.Not Being His/Her Priority.

When you love someone,you are ready to forgive everything that he/she does because you don't want to loose what you think you have.

But someonetimes,letting go hurts less than holding on.

I'm not saying that you have to be the first thing in his/her mind non-stop,because after all they are humans as well and have hard times.

But that doesn't mean everyone else should be above you either.

He/she needs to show you how important you are and cherish you.If he/she does not do that,do yourself a favor and leave.

3.Lying.

We all have lied at some point,I don't say it's right but most of the times it's forgivable.

But if your partner is constantly lying about everything,even the smallest things, he/she clearly has some serious issues with telling the truth.

The chances are,that he either has something to hide or he is pathological liar.Either way,both are not the exactly what you would call 'ideal' personality traits .

As time passes you won't trust him/her at all, you won't be able to distinguish his/her lies from the truth.

And since relationships are based on trust,you shouldn't waste your time.

4.Disrepecting you or/and Blaming you for Everything.

People who curses at you or purposely offends you or blames you for everything that goes wrong in his/her life,is someone that has no business being in your life.

You shouldn't put up with disrespect from anyone,escpecially your partner.

Many times we tend to overlook these issues as they don't seem as big or as important as others,but that's a huge mistake.

A partner that makes you feel terrible most of the time isn't someone that deserves your love and affection,so say your goodbyes and move on to someone that actually appriciates you.

5.Cheating.

Okay,maybe 'cheating' is too mainstream these days but there is a reason for that,let's admit it...

It hurts.

And it hurts a lot.

It feels like the ultimate betrayal,and almost always after it the relationship changes.In a bad way.

The reason why you should never forgive cheating is because you will never be the same with him/her again.You will always be worried more,you will never trust him/her enough,your mind will always jump to this incident and etc.

So it's better to move on to someone that gives you the feeling you can trust him/her.

-END.

AngelicSin

[thoughtprocess11]

I think the premise of this is generally correct but let me expand on this as someone who has relationship experience.
1) Agreed getting physical is never the way to handle anything and I like the fact that you admitted both genders are capable of this behavior. No one should be putting their hands on one another and it is wrong. However, in the heat of battle there have been times where perhaps the girl slaps the guy or there is a shove, etc. That is wrong, but if the person is truly sorry and it won't happen again, after some separation you may want to reconsider. If it happens repeatedly, however end it.
2) If the relationship is a serious one, the person should be a priority no question. However, it is also important to realize you can be a priority yet also have your own things going on as well. In some cases, the person may have a child from another relationship. That child is a priority too, so there has to be a balance.
3) Lying is bad in a relationship yet almost everyone has told a few lies unfortunately. I think it depends on the reasons, how complex they are, and how often this is occurring.
4) This one I largely agree on. A person who loves you should be defending you not cussing you or putting you down constantly. They should build you up, not down. Every one is guilty of occasionally saying things they shouldn't but it should be an exception to the rule and they should treat you as well in private as they do in public and vice versa.
5) Cheating is never condoned and this is a serious one. If cheating does occur, this strictly up to each person. You should own up to and then your partner must decide if they will give you a second chance or not. This is going to require some separation and probably some counseling and a lot of prayer. If someone decides to give them a second chance I get that, but obviously if the behavior is repeated, the relationship must end.

Great article.

[RolandCuthbert]

Uhm, I disagree. I have had partners who have gotten physical. I forgave them. I think it is up to the individuals in a relationship. I think it is important to forgive them, even if you have to put some distance between you and him/her.

As for continuing a relationship, that is just not something I can have an opinion. I can't judge what should be the breaking point for everyone.

[Vesuvius87]

I agree with practically all except 2. If he has to work double shift one day and it's very important, I'll understand if he doesn't have his phone turned on the whole time.
Likewise, my life doesn't revolve around him 24/7. I need my time for my friends and family too.

[LeaLee]

Great Take!

[DigitalArchon]

Speaking from experience, people make mistakes for various Reasons, whether it be not getting enough attention from their partner, a lack of communication or a presumably innocent/previously agreed upon activity gone too far/wrong.

For me it was all 3 in a sense.

Back in October of 2017 My Fiancee and I had just sold our resturaunt after getting engaged in the summer and having our 3rd baby, and I got a new job working at a local factory. a couple weeks into my new job my Fiancee was getting stir crazy being at home with 3 children and not having any other adults to communicate with, and we didn't have any friends in this town. so we ended up making a profile on a swinging website to see what could happen and to give us people to talk to. this however turned out to be a horrible mistake as it was taken too far. we posted pictures/videos of ourselves for our profile and she quickly became more and more comfortable using this medium and other applications to talk with and send photo/video back and forth with other people. (Essentially sexting other men) and none of this was a secret to me, She said she was lonely and by doing this it got her in the mood more often so at the time it was a win/win. She got people to talk to, and I got more sex.

The Problem was in reality she wasn't truly Lonely in the sense of not having any friends, but she felt slightly disconnected from me and had said I had become less passionate in our relationship and this quickly turned sour as I had discovered one of the people she was talking to was within a 90 minute car ride (Previously people she talked to were from much too far away to be of any concern) and she took interest in this person. This got me pretty upset and instead of telling her (at the time) that it was very dangerous for our relationship I Distanced myself emotionally and took the trade off of more sex, compounding the problem of lack of communication and lack of passion she told me she wanted from me, instead of giving her the attention she needed she scratched the itch with people online. Until I found out she was texting this rather local person 50+ Messages a day, taking phone calls, and sending photos and Videos that she hadn't shown and cleared with me firsthand.

Things however got worse when I found out she had thought about meeting this person. and had actually been to his city alone. This entire situation blew up bigger than Hiroshima. and after fighting and arguing and the broken trust and the...

[DigitalArchon]

lack of communication and passion we talked about it. I Had accused her of Cheating on me, she denied it and I didn't believe her. I was convinced she had gone to meet this person when she visited the city he lived in. so I took matters into my own hands to investigate the issue, I tracked her cellphone, read her deleted messages, checked her Web History/activity, looked at the things she searched up, went through her bank statements, looked into everything I could and after I did all that... I Contacted the man I accused her of cheating on me with, pretending to be her (I Stole her cellphone for a day). and after talking to him I finally realised she had never met with him, maybe she entertained the idea during our darkest moments of this whole thing but never truly followed through with it. Now I was still hurt but I got the answer I really wanted. she didn't cheat.

But things were far from over. I needed to fix things, but unfortunately this whole thing really cut deep...

[DigitalArchon]

I however talked to her and told her I didn't like it and that I wanted her to stop and she agreed to stop and has (I Still checked all her activities for the time being just to be sure) and no red flags to indicate anything like this has happened since, we stopped using the swinging website, she stopped posting content and talking to people, she doesn't use any of the apps anymore and we've started to move on from the past.

we have had fights (One where she even took her ring off) about all this stuff because Im still reeling in from the shock of all of this, and she hates that I Bring it up, she admits that it was all a mistake and wants me to move past it and stop bringing it up, and ideally one day in the distant future be able to laugh about how ridiculous it all was. we talked and agreed what we need was a clean slate and after our last argument I was able to push out everything I needed to say (Although it almost caused her to leave me) I believe it was a necessary step...

[DigitalArchon]

to moving forward and leaving this behind us.

So all in all everything is starting to get back to the way things were, we've even started dieting together to get into better shape, we've bought a house a 2nd vehicle and are finally moving on from the worst 10 Months of my life. I do love her, and our 3 kids and the life we are building for eachother and for them. and I am moving on with my life, thankfully with her still in it.

[Catholicgirl22]

Cheating is a major one for me. If married or in a serious relationship you got to 100%sure that your partner won't run off with or cheat with some slut who shakes her ass at him.

[Anonymous]

I don't agree totally with the lying part because studies have shown all people lie a lot and we don't even know.

[AbdKilani]

Great take
Heartbreaking , if you can relate to every single point you have forgave someone for it.

[BronzedAdonis]

Agree with all except 2, its not necessarily that black and white

[Marinepilot]

I'd say you got this very right. BRAVO ! Well done !

[Unit1]

I agree. Certain things cannot be forgiven (contrary to poplar belief).
These offenses are a part of it.

[HereIbe]

Gee, you just described the complete behavior patterns of all my exes. Oh, they're exes--probably explains why.

[zagor]

I would probably be out of there BEFORE any of these things happened.

[Nik1hil]

hahah.. you and your addiction with TVD gif

[ovetherainbows987]

No. 4

[Premm619]

2,4 and 5

[BOUNTYGUY9]

girl lie as well