Yes, I Am Young And Attractive...So What?

A diary from an unknown.
A diary from an unknown.

1. It's hard to differentiate the genuine good guys

A guy can appear sincere but it's not long before he starts indicating signs of wanting to smash you. I have refrained from posting body pictures on dating sites. I don't want someone only messaging me for my body, and not my witty biography and posts.

I have gotten defensive to, sometimes too overly. It's especially hard to make male friends, it seems. A never-ending quest to find platonic relationships, here I go. What am I doing wrong?

2. Looks don't last forever, and it scares me

Yes, I am attractive. SO what? I am aware I will lose my youthful looks someday and I can't rely on it forever. All these older guys hitting on me? "Screw them. They will leave anyway," I think to myself.

What will be my future be like? I know I have to work very hard on my academies.

Also, I feel rather pressured to be in a relationship in fear that I will forever be single. Young blokes don't seem to want to commit either. I feel like nobody would take me seriously. Or do I have trust issues?

3. I still feel insecure

I have a thin waist, perky boobs and butt. I feel blessed about my body, especially as an Asian girl. But there are somedays I still find myself wishing I looked like someone else on the internet or a random pretty lady I see walking in the streets.

It's like a never ending cycle I am doomed with and get into. Will I find true happiness?

4. I have gone against my values and joined a cam site

I know I have the looks and ability to tease well to the perving dudes out there. But I honestly think it has also made me somewhat lazy in the sense that I am not working a waitressing job part time or something more tiring.

I feel guilty sometimes. Some people are working really hard to earn money, while me... and so, I sigh. Will I lose myself and become a stripper someday?

5. I am trying hard not to look like a gold digger

I go on dates with older guys. My ex was much older than me; mind you, I never asked him for money nor would he give me. I have trust issues too, my man was always busy and I lost my virginity to him. Sometimes I feel like I was manipulated, and sometimes I feel like I was at fault too. It's hard to find peace with the past sometimes.

Somewhat dating older guys and being seen with them in public has made me self-conscious as I start to worry about other people's perceptions. Escort, gold-digger, citizenship-digger, etc. My solution? I always pay on dates. To them, it's a surprise. And I like that. And also don't like it in a way. It makes me broke. Another sigh. How long will I go on like this?

6. Validation kills sometimes

I thrive on attention. I know that when I am walking out in public, I am getting stared at. I know some dudes are checking me out. It makes me smirk in the inside. Funny thing is I always have earphones plugged into my ears so other people wouldn't really approach me. I have ego issues, with a mix of social anxiety,

Wickedly enough, I want to be approached too. Oh and I like when girls stare too, that's a plus. Death stares? Even better, I guess. And after having a nice attention shower time in public, as I am walking back home, I start dreading going home. Another time alone at home, as my demons tug in my head, and I plop onto bed with eyes glued onto my phone screen. Dating sites again, perhaps?

Why, hello loneliness. :)


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Most Helpful Guys

  • 1. "I have gotten defensive to, sometimes too overly."

    2. Think about looks as bait for guys: It attracts us towards you. That's all it dose. Now PERSONALITY is the hook that keeps us around even after there's not much bait left. Old couples can keep loving each other cause their hooks were good. If my girl loves me, it drives my mind into man mode.

    3. Be comfortable with what your body is. You won't ever have another one and if you want to change it, you can. Workouts and diets can help out with specific parts and different soaps and shampoo's can affect appearance too.

    Its up to you to practice self improvement if YOU feel its needed.

    4. Believe it or not, you're not a bad person for doing this. We all have to do what we must to survive in this world of ours. If this is something you want to do and you know you won't regret it, then pursue your dream. Nobody can tell you how to live your life, cause only you can make yourself happiest in the end.

    5. You know what you should do about other people's opinions on your happiness? Stop caring. Really, if everyone did as they were influenced my society, there would be no amazement's, no excitement, no innovation, and no surprises. The first guy to drive a car was looked at weirdly by the horse riders. The first to invent light bulbs was looked at weirdly by candle users. You like older guys. That's not something to be so uptight about.

    In the end, if both of you are happy in the relationship, then the other people should stop focusing on other people's relationships.

    Without surprise, everything becomes predictable.

    6. Everyone loves to be encouraged. To be complimented. To be approached by a new potential friend. You just worded yourself in a bit of a worse way.

    "I have ego issues". Anyone who can admit they have an issue like this is more modest than they believe, cause a true egotist would never admit this. So you aren't as bad as you think buddo.

    We all want to be acknowledged, and some want it more than others. How we go about it is important, but it all about our own personal preferences. You sound like you'd like to have a lot of supportive friends, so my advice is to try to look at the world through a new lens.

    Everyone is a potential friend. Everyone has bad points, but they also have good points. There are more good people in the world than bad, people just don't know how to trust anymore. And showing trust these days is the biggest sign of friendship you can show.

    I wish you luck buddo.

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    • Thank you so much ❤️

  • You remind me of my old relationship

    I think so many of us not only distrust potential partners to stay, but we distrust that we ourselves will even like our partners, which, we are going to face struggles and temptation almost any relationship. But I'm learning that at the end of the day, love is really all about being vulnerable. Safety is a different issue, be aware of that. But if we can't be vulnerable, then while we can get close with attractiveness, there likely won't be any cigar. Nothing worthwhile is easy. So try your best to be sincere with everyone important to you, such as friends and family. And again what makes love so scary is, contrary to how we think today, your partner should be the most important relationship you have as they're your life partner, the closest person to you. That's the person that you'd eventually be the most open to.

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    • This isn't to say settle, but try to open up and be committed when you do find yourself in a relationship

    • Thanks so much 😊

Most Helpful Girl

  • Alright. Let me just say this because sadly this is why I get really ticked off with a lot of men because they REALLY don't get it. You don't need validation from men. You're not alone with this but this is what I learned from those experiences you have NOW.

    1. They are ONLY approaching you because of looks. Why? Because they're conditioned that this is okay and normal. It's not. As you said, you want to be with GENUINE guys. And I did too. Many girls do. But these men today DO. NOT. CARE. Very few get it, others don't want to get it. Don't pay such guys any mind who thinks like this.

    "I have gotten defensive to, sometimes too overly. It's especially hard to make male friends, it seems. A never-ending quest to find platonic relationships, here I go. What am I doing wrong?" Accepting the behavior and perhaps dressing in a manner that attracts men lustfully. So you may need to change how you dress. But, we have no idea how you dress, so I cannot tell you what your style of dressing is.

    2. "What will be my future be like? I know I have to work very hard on my academies.

    Also, I feel rather pressured to be in a relationship in fear that I will forever be single. Young blokes don't seem to want to commit either. I feel like nobody would take me seriously. Or do I have trust issues?" Don't worry. This I had to learn a while ago, that all those things your feeling, are NOT YOUR FAULT! I keep telling guys this is not a healthy way to approach and having relationships with women in your lives! However, you don't need to be in a relationship. If you be unmarried and single forever, like you said about your looks, SO WHAT! Because if they really cared about you they wouldn't make you feel that way about yourself. This isn't just you, alone, it's done purposely to get you to whore yourselves to them without real commitment. They just want uncommitted sex. As in premarital sex. Because originally in God's eyes everybody who desires sex should be seeking marriage and be married FIRST. And you ONLY have sex with the person you married to. Not go exploring and want to know why people and yourself are so broken and unfaithful. Common sense says that you don't stick a fork in an electric socket, and you got idiots who still put something in the live socket! That's the same with sex. Same analogy. They don't know how to treat women anymore, and its due to feminism that screwed it up, when they already lied about marriage and using the Bible to back up false claims and

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    • interpretations that aren't true. So stop going after and accepting people who can't offer you a thing. It's bad enough they don't want you but expect YOU to cater to their every whim.

      3. You don't and shouldn't have to advertise your body. That's due to you being vain. Not insecure. You're insecure because you want somebody to love you for you, but at the same time, you worship your body and aesthetics. You're only bringing more pain to yourself and deterring potentially good partners who only just want to love YOU whether your Asain, slim, beautiful or not. They can't love you if you don't pay attention to what they want to love about you. They can't offer you more when all you sound like you can offer is just your body. In this case, all you have is unrealistic expectations that don't fit your criteria. Not that those expectations don't exist. It's the fact you have yet to get to that level and stage in life. You still have many areas to mature and grow up on. But you can't grow if

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    • this site yet not ONE male on this Question let alone other girls didn't understand what you are really going through. Your experience is why people need to stop and reflect on their choices. This is no joke, but serious. You want marriage and a good life, you need to change and get out of it. Repent of that life and get out. This only happens because you gave up and gave in and it still makes you miserable.

      6. You should not be thriving on attention. It's not healthy and it's holding you back from really living your life and being all you can be. This is not who you are. And I'm sure this is not who you want to be.

    • Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, this really helped me. You’re amazing ❤️

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What Guys Said 56

  • Be true to yourself or as a genius named Joseph Campbell wrote, “follow your passion”. You should thrive on attention and there is nothing wrong with that. You sound intelligent enough to have the quandary that faces many smart, esp. attractive people, you feel either “better than” or “less than” in any situation.

    Try to remember that your beauty and your brains aren’t something you worked hard for, you just happened to be swimming in a quality geneti pool. If you have the humility to understand that, you can drop all the negative self-talk and the anxiety accompanying it. Be kind, compassionate and try to never use your your looks or smarts as a weapon. You have higher caliber ammunition and it wouldn’t be a fair fight.

    Of course you love being approached. The biggest sexual turn on is knowing that you are desired. Don’t embrace loneliness which is not the same as embracing solitude
    No matter how beautiful smart and sexy you are there is always someone who is even more so. If you base your self worth only on other’s opinions- a very easy thing to do when you are a young attractive woman- you will feel worthless in the company of either the girl who is sexier, younger etc./ It sure doesn’t feel like it now but you are as subject to the dynamics of aging, disfigurement etc, Do not have the hubris to be unwilling to talk to those outside your target range. The exhaustion is the result of all of this running through your mind constantly. Pay less tension to yourself and more to others. There is nothing more nitrate and rewarding that compassion. Turn your brain firepower on the works of Buddhism and Taoism,. You would be surprised at how “skilfully” they handle the ego. Your probably have 3 people in your brain that are “you”. There is one that is trying to live in the present, there is another that acts as the subject of your criquiting the 2nd person you whose flaws you notice and whose beauty you enjoy. Of course you’re having thi convo in your brain so we now have you in the 1st person, 2nd person, 3rd person and a 4th person you are discussing the flaws and the flattering aspects of your mind/body. Think about that, you have left no time for the 1st person, the only real you that is capable of living in the absolute present- the only pace where bliss can be found, with no time. Spend 30 minutes each day concentrating on the feel of bark on a tree, the grass on the soles of your feet, the wind, the smells- any sensory experience will reward you.

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    • Thank you, insightful.

  • 1a. Wanting to "smash" you (kids these days...) is one thing -- most guys will if they're straight -- but wanting to just use you for sex without a committed relationship is another. I for one am willing to wait for marriage, but I will most definitely want to have sex with a girl after she married me.

    1b. You probably should post at least one picture of yourself (fully clothed is certainly ok), or at the very least a picture of your face. A guy could be a good guy but he still might pass over your profile if he can't see what you look like.
    ... BUT your witty biography does matter and we DO read it regardless!

    1c. I will be a platonic friend to anyone. But just realize that that's me willingly putting myself in the friend zone, so only go that route if that's what you really want.

    2a. Yeah... they don't, but they do. You're always going to look the same to a certain extent, because it's in your genes. The normal aging process doesn't make a beautiful woman less beautiful; it just makes her older.

    2b. It's true that some young blokes don't want to commit. But some do. ... As far as the older ones, they should probably be dating people their own age.

    3. I feel insecure about my body, too, sometimes. Just never forget that you are beautiful, you are unique, and you are a treasure!

    4. I'm glad that you realize that. If you find another job, and you want to quit the webcam thing, then do so! You will feel much better afterwards. :)

    5. Your wanting to pay on dates is not a bad thing; there's nothing wrong with that. But you are not obligated to do so. You have every right to just pay for yourself and make them pay for themselves. And if the food is too expensive, then choose a less fancy restaurant.

    6a. I feel you so much on that one. Not much to say, except maybe just try to do your own thing, take care of business, and not focus so much on how others are looking at you. But then again, being a girl, you do have to be aware of your surroundings. So keep it balanced, I guess.

    6b. The dating sites COULD work! Don't give up! It takes a lot of time and patience, though; I know.

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    • I don’t choose a fancy restaurant, it’s usually fast food ones! 😊 And I’m Glad you could relate to me a bit, and thank you so much x

  • So I'm going to be blunt here, sorry.

    1. "I don't want someone only messaging me for my body, and not my witty biography and posts."
    Your body is the first thing people see and it's what makes them want to know you after that you need the personality to be good. Just because someone likes the look of you doesn't mean they can't appreciate you as a person. My suspicion is that you rely on your looks too much and you're not actually an interesting person. No one cares about witty text, it's just a little laugh or something then you move on, it's not substance. No amount of wit in a bio will get a hideous person a date. Substance only comes from meeting with a person and getting to know them and being interested in doing that in the first place comes from looks -- and you've got that first step on easy mode.

    "A never-ending quest to find platonic relationships, here I go. What am I doing wrong?"
    Well firstly, guys are looking for a relationship -- and like you, every girl they meet only wants to be friends. They're preoccupied with finding a slice of validation. Having an abundance of it affords you the attention to want platonic friends.
    Attractiveness is also very useful for having friends, being unattractive doesn't make you more appealing as a friend.

    2. The alterative is that you never had it, is that better? Most people use that window of attractiveness to find relationships (because yes looks are on the path to "genuine" relationships). It doesn't last forever but you have a window to get a lot done in that time. Again, it seems like you're relying on it too much.

    3. Of course insecurity is stilll present, but it's not like we can say that we should make insecurity nonexistant. Everyone just has to shrug and deal with it.

    4. Well that's on you. I hope you're not trying to say that the *cause* is your attractiveness. People make crummy choices. But as far as choices go it could be worse. You could be unattractive and a lonely virgin as a results and ultimately kill yourself. So chin up, it could be worse.

    5. Sounds like the problem is that you go on expensive dates.

    6. Relying on attention too much.

    So if you want an actual answer to "so what?" well I think you've been afforded a great tool/power and you're using it as a crutch rather than a tool.

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    • 1. A person can be a good friend whether they're attractive or not. Looks have nothing to do with it.

      But I agree with what you said at the end about using power as a crutch instead of a tool.

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    • I never go to expensive dates. It’s usually fast food restaurants. And I wish I could give you Most Helpful Opinion too, because I appreciate your helpful inputs😊

    • I assumed it would be expensive because then it would makes sense why you were "broke."

  • I'm the kind of guy who assume that any girl in a party is neither already in a relationship or tired of guys annoying her, so i keep away and even when i know that's not really the case i preffer to avoid troubles, but reading the feelings of someone who is on the other side of that treatment, geez is rough... i'm sorry for not being able to say something better...

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    • It’s alright, have a lovely day😊

    • Thanks... Although i feel i should be the one wishing you to have a good day, haha

  • 1. It's hard to differentiate the genuine good guys = This is where guys differ greatly from girls. Girl's have way too many options and the guy's options are near if not exactly zero.

    2. Looks don't last forever, and it scares me, All these older guys hitting on me? "Screw them.= This shows how feminism had ruined the minds of society. You don't care or have any empathy for others. Those old guys are probably paying you money that you charged them to view your cam and age isn't their own fault, which you will discover around the age of 30, 30 is known as the wall for women and No 6 will go away once you get near that age. Then you will actually want the older guys, but they won't want you anymore. You will get in touch with your karma at that stage.

    As for the cam itself? Were you actually having sex with those men that viewed it? NO. Then it's a passive thing or in other words, what could you have actually done that would harm you? The answer, NOTHING, however, it's those feminist that gave you your attitude toward older men that are coming from your job, eventually. So you'd better get use to the idea of the waitress job.

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  • You just need to meet the right guy. It's amazing what a difference it makes.

    It's good that you're planning on developing your own career, which may get you into contact with better guys.

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  • 1: Just because a dude wants to fuck you, doesn't mean he's not being sincere. And just because he wants sex doesn't mean he doesn't want more than that. All the bullshit connection shit is your top priority, but sex is male's top priority. Connection--to you--is equal to sex to males. Connection--to males--is sex to you. The desire is still there for both, but one is more important than the other. That doesn't mean insincerity. It just means he just knows that you'll likely flee with your tail between your legs if he says "sex" too soon.

    Imagine if you tried to talk to a guy you liked in order to get some sort of connection. Except forming a rapport with a guy was considered taboo, private, or even disgusting or creepy. How would you work up to building a connection? Well, you'd have to do so subtly and pretend like you didn't really want connection, so as to warm them up to the idea. That wouldn't necessarily mean you were being insincere.

    Accepting that difference is paramount to both genders. We have different priorities. Okay. Understanding and acceptance will help both a lot. With friendships or relationships. Yeah, the dudes wanna fuck you. Okay. You have the option of perceiving that in a funny way, good way, or bad way.

    2. Maybe trust issues. And maybe you're just scared of taking a risk.

    3: Change what you can, accept what you cannot change.

    4: Appreciate what you have. And determine if you want to continue or do something you feel better about.

    5: Don't even know.

    6: How long will you go on like this?

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  • Stop posting takes like this! Nobody assumes that just because you have one thing going for you, that you have zero problems! Everyone’s got their own set of circumstances, and a unique set of both benefits and detriments come with each and every single circumstance, since every person’s circumstances are completely different. No two are the same.

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  • I feel like I can relate to some of these things you said, in a straight guy kind of way.

    If it helps, knowing myself, I feel like a lot of guys would be all right if you put yourself out there to them. Be careful, but give things a try more. Maybe try dating guys more around your age too if you're okay with that.

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  • "I feel blessed about my body, especially as an Asian girl."

    Now that's interesting. I was married to an Asian girl. I'm going to ask, and I feel she would also ask, why "especially to an Asian girl?"

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    • I forgot to mention that I'm skinny. Because there's a stereotypical concept that all skinny Asians girls are flat with "pancake-flat" butts, with no hips.

    • I believe if something happened that rendered you unattractive, you wouldn't be asking the rhetorical question "so what?"

  • I agree with the fact that it is hard to find the guys that want a relationship. I have never liked when women stare at me in public though. It feels strange for some reason. I think that joining a cam site is a profession for some women. However, you do already know that beauty can't last forever. Please make a plan to get out of the industry if you have already entered it.

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    • I don't mind when women stare at me in public but I just wish they would say something.

  • Try to live an honest life, get an honest job, make honest decisions, and over time you will get an honest guy. Don't focus on your beauty, you did nothing to get it; do things at your own pace and good luck!

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  • > All these older guys hitting on me? "Screw them. They will leave anyway," I think to myself.

    Well, that attitude is not exactly attractive but I understand your feelings. But older men tend to want something more serious after they've "sowed their wild oats". But you have to judge them based on how they act, and their knowledge of healthy relationships and psychology of relationships. If they are serious about relationships, wouldn't they make it a priority to study how healthy relationships actually work?

    My problem was, women wanted serious relationships (like me), but they had no idea how they worked. And they hadn't dealt with their own emotional baggage either. First step in having a healthy, fulfilling relationship:

    - Deal with your own emotional baggage.

    I had to kiss a lot of frogs before I found a good woman. That's just how life is.

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    • Ahah frogs. And thank you!

  • Interesting. Genuinely interesting.

    You'd think that being attractive has generally pretty much only advantages but then this stuff comes up. I didn't think about the things you mentioned.

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    • Hehe Glad to hear that.

  • Can you message me with some help on a cam job? I've seen girls on chaturbate doing nothing but talk and get tons of tips. Even saw one where the girl (if it's even a girl) just had a moving anime cartoon of a girl and she was getting tons of tips.

    So I was thinking something as mundane as setting up the cam to view my home gym, a 8ftx7ft space, and just letting the viewers watch me workout... maybe taking off clothing items as the tip levels reach certain goals.

    I mean I seriously don't get paid to workout, but would like to... a cult following of horny people and maybe just some that want to learn by watching paying me would be fine... ideal in fact for me.

    Like with a youtube channel, I just don't know where to start. Cam, mic, setting it up... any advice?

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    • While Im not a you-tuber myself, I've definitely given it thoughts. I think your idea is quite genius tbh dude. Though, perhaps explore a site dedicated to that sort of thing that'd maybe pay more and where you can be more anonymous. That's a huge reason I'm nervous of youtube because things about it can spread VERY fast, often really bad things, even if the video itself is actually quite good. I'd rather give money to somebody that, meant to or not, subtly influences people to be healthy and stronger. Rather that over some chaturbate girl ANY day. I've seen those girls not nessacerily get payed, but get likes every second on instagram vids. It's SOOOO stupid! They literally do NOTHING and people are dumb enough to give likes and from what you've said pay? Wtf. Maybe research this thing dude. Home gym equipment isn't cheap. You likely worked hard to build muscle so it's quite deserving of profit. Just advice from another dude. \m/

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    • I think it would be a bit of a bad idea doing chaturbate and also YouTube. Because people/ your subscribers might judge you negatively.

    • Where would a good start be... equipment to buy? I'm basically just working with ambition thus far.

  • I wouldn't worry about it or overthink it. Just do what makes you feel good. Just go hit the bars, get laid, feel guilty about it and then get back to your studies. Relationships are shyt anyways; you aren't missing anything.

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  • Well, if you eat properly, exercise regularly and just take care of yourself in general, then you can still look really hit as you age. Look at Salma Hayek. She's past 50 and still hot. And if it were hot guys trying to smash you instead of creepy guys, I doubt you would mind it too much lol. But srs, not everyone wants to be in a relationship, but similarly, not everyone hitting on you only wants a one night stand

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  • Interesting take
    (1) I hope one day your prince will come
    (2) In sport sometimes they say "Form is temporary but class is permanent" - First things first many women remain beautiful for a long time but they can never take your personality away
    (3) Everybody is insecure
    (4) I know some camgirls, very common feeling you have - You don't have to be the person you are on cam in real life
    (5) Forget what other think if you want to split bills or be treated that is okay if guy agrees
    (6) People like to be appreciated
    ** Sometimes loneliness is a prison cell with an open door, you might be surprised by what is outside

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    • Thank you very much, Mister. I appreciate it.

  • You better find your alpha male and lock him ASAP before you hit the wall. That can only be accomplished while in your prime. Many former hot women fool themselves into thinking their hotness steak will never end and they can keep playing the game trying to one up the ladder of mate quality. Before they know it they hit the wall and end up only being able to land a beta male that they resent the rest of their life because they know at one time they did better.

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  • All these older guys hitting on me? "Screw them. They will leave anyway," I think to myself.

    Young blokes don't seem to want to commit either.

    One if these assumptions is very very wrong.

    Older guys are way more likely to want a relationship. I don't know where you got that idea but its not true. Not all of course but almost no young guys want/are capable of maintaining a serious and functional relationship.

    Lastly cut that cam crap out. Good guys will stay away from you because of that and players will be extra attracted to you for it.

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  • To be honest, and this will infuriate people, your angst, and all the doubts and second-guessing and distrust if men, is the result of feminist teaching.

    Feminism started with a great idea. Girls and women should not be denied the opportunity to do things just because it wasn't a "feminine" thing to do.

    Butg it was an uphill struggle. Men in positions of power, and the boys who aspired to fill those positions, worked to keep girls and women out.

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    • The feminists, in order to address that resistance decided to de-emphasize femininity. It was a good mechanism. By eliminating femininity they made it difficult for the men in power to claim that there was an intrisic difference.

  • Sounds like you have a lot of issues you need to resolve, beyond what GaG can do for you. Too much of your self-image is tied up in your physical appearance and how others react to it. So yes, unless you do something to change that you will be in for a rough time as you get older.

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  • you don't sound attractive at all.
    you sound like the average broad who thinks they are attractive.

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    • You’ve never seen her how do you know she’s “average”?

    • @anon15 hehe😊

  • insightful. I know women have an entirely different experience than men do, yet I can’t get my mind around why it should be so different. It sounds like your able to see through a ton of bs, but are trapped by it just the same. In that regard, I wonder if we’d be better off if we couldn’t see, and just be trapped.
    I could go on go for volumes about this stuff

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  • 1. Any good male would be into you for your body. Motherfucker would a weirdo if he didn't. However, you have to learn to discern who is genuinely good by... hell, shit testing them.

    2. Looks can last longer than people think, also, your mindset will change over the years to the point it may not be an issue

    3. Start feeling secure

    4. I think cam sites are the least of the evils for women (others are porn, stripping, prostitution). Also, can a brotha get a link?

    5. Your choice is your choice, screw what people think.

    6. Those demons you speak of are controllable. Let them know who's boss.

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  • You know I'm a guy who hates the glimmer that girls put on them selfs and end up being identical to each other.

    What I find attractive and outstanding among girls who are effortlessly beautiful beside their appearance is their big heart.

    Just work on your skill for being unconditionally helpful and caring, that will help you stand out of a crowd.

    What I mean by that is not the posts about how good you are on Instagram, but really be open to people offline.

    It's hard to do because many people consider it as easy to get, but it's not.

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  • Do you think that being a cam girl gives you a distorted perception of the world? The guys with whom you interact are a VERY small slice of the pie!

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  • Being an attractive female = living life on easy mode

    "Being an attractive woman = living life on easy mode." Agree or disagree? ↗

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  • Attractive people suffering from anxiety is getting common these days.

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  • I got same experience as you but im a 24 y old 6.2 feet blue eyes dude

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  • Show more from Guys
    26

What Girls Said 18

  • I think you really need to ocupy your mind with something else. Build your life, do what you like and for the love of god, stop living by people's expectations.

    To be honest, I never got the 'special' vibe about Asians, except that you are incredibly well-mannered and determined people. Put that to use and give importance to what really matters. You'll feel much better.

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    • I wasn’t saying Asians are special btw😅 and thanks!

  • Yeah I don’t rely on my looks bc they will be gone and my life will be an illusion.

    I’d never date an older guy who just doesn’t like women his age bc we all are only our age once. Women often don’t have the option of dating younger so I’m not supporting it. and yeah they are saying they’ll toss you aside when you get to their age or before but they already are not attractive to me.

    It’s not right thst women get so much attention before their personality is fully developed then it falls away in their actual prime- not baby making prime but full human development. Men don’t mature more slowly they are just given a longer shelf life so they can take their time acting their age. Women don’t peak in their 20s they are not yet developed as a person just like men. To have to get into relationships before you are ready and be valued for things thst have little to do with you us a huge rip off on life.

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  • When I was 21, I was extremely attractive to men - about 60% of them would hit on me when I talked to them. I didn't care and I had a lot of enemies cause people were jealous or thought I was a player but I wasn't. I just didn't know what I wanted.

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  • I admit I'm big on validation too. There are times when I dress for attention just to get validation because i almost (hate to say) need it. But it feels so good, and honestly, girls are judged so much on our looks. I was mocked for being too skinny and gangly when I was younger, and I *never* want to go back to that. I feel really sorry for less attractive girls who get ignored or made fun of for not being the ideal of beauty. But at the same time, I wonder if they're better off in some way because they don't have some of my hangups.

    I have verged on exercise bulimia in the past. I used to do two 45-min cardio sesssions, 2 45 min weight sessions, and 1 hour long group exercise session a day because i would rather work all day to stay fit and hot than risk being seen as anything less.

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    • Do you guys have some advice for a virgin who has a very tight vagina and can't get anything inside of her at all?

    • Show All
    • Thanks! The need to be seen in a certain way is like an addiction. For several years it was all I cared about, being seen as attractive and beyond reproach. I used to secretly compare myself to everyone and feel bad if I didn't see myself as the fittest girl every place I went. I went to a pool resort near the beach when I was like 18 and I remember seeing one girl there who was in amazing shape and being envious of her and feeling a bit crushed. It takes time to get into a more normal mindset.

    • You're absolutely beautiful:)

  • Good take, also like 500% likely I would stare at you. Not sure if that makes you feel better, I don't know what else to say really.

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  • Interesting. I am ugly af and I always thought that being beautiful as a girl solve 80% of your problems. But apparently it's not so. It also creates new problems.

    But honestly, I'd rather be more attractive if given a choice 🤷

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    • "I am ugly af..."
      Incorrect

      Being attractive does indeed bring a new set of problems to the table: people being jealous, unwanted attention, people being suspicious that any advances in life were unearned, etc.

      I have grown up around people who were deformed. I assure you, being unattractive brings *more* problems to the table, and generally they're problems of greater magnitude: people mocking you, no attention at all, loneliness, people more suspicious of you in general (the opposite of the halo effect... it's real, people).

    • @Bluemax You're right. I wish it wasn't like this. At least I try not to discriminate on basis of looks. But it's years and years of conditioning

  • Dress up really horribly, don't brush your hair, go outside looking like crap for about a week or so and then reflect on the differences how people treat you.
    I'm usually a tomboy and I've had dudes literally let doors close in my face in public, then when I go dressed up, the same dudes holding the door open for me. People treat you a lot differently when they perceive you as unattractive. So if you want to know how others truly feel, especially strangers, meet up people looking like shit at your worst.

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  • for god’s sake stop carring about what the other thinks! You can’t plaise everyone and even if you can it will never bring you anything! You want a young attractive wealthy man! So what? Is it a Crime? You were affraid to be seen as a gold digger? Aren’t those older dudes, that hits on younger girls as shallow as a gold digger? Some of them are fat, ugly and old but expect to get a young attractive submissive girl for free! What a joke! Seriously! You are pretty and it’s a plus! Just focus to be successful and attractive and you will get a successful attractive dude!

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    • Thanks so muchhhh

  • Just live your life and focus on your goals and hobbies, the good stuff. Nobody said life is supposed to be easy.

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  • Except for #4.. you could be my twin miss😂

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  • Last point is so me😮

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  • Nice take

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  • Great MyTake.

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  • Good take

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  • Interesting

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  • Literally stop complaing you sound ungrateful I literally cutt myself over being not attractive enough I’d do anything to be beautiful. You sound a like a winey pussy about it. Just be happy.

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    • It's people like you that make people like us feel guilty, get over it.

    • @sagevalentine people like you are literally so annoying. Don’t feel guilty about it just stfu cause someone people literally kill them selves over this shit

  • I have this problem too. How do you deal with it? You put exactly how I feel into words. My boyfriend is older, and at university when I am only in school, and I always get stares where ever I go, it's a sick and twisted feeling of superiority. I love it and hate it.

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  • Self doubt can hurt you --just be yourself and you will grow stronger.

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