Why helping your Wife/GF with the housework is Manly

[Nadim171]

Many men think splitting the housework with your GF/wife is unmanly. But actually it's the exact opposite. This is a short mytake because it's very simple to explain it.

Why it's manly to split the chores with your girl

Men are physically stronger than women,they have more muscle mass and can do harder and longer phisical work. It's unfair when you and your wife both work yet she,the phisically weaker partner does all the hard phisical work. What would be fair is splitting it,depending on your preference. She can cook and you wash the dishes,she can clean the living room and you clean the toilet

Why it's romantic

When your see your wife coming back from work,kicking her heels and putting her feet up and you expect her to still do all the housework it means you don't care about her,you just married her to do your housework and for sex. But when you tell her to take a rest and you do it instead it shows that you're strong,are ready to sacrifice for her and take that pain instead.

So what is more manly?

What is more manly? Yelling at a tired woman to still do stuff for you and clean and cook or help her with the housework? It shows that you still care about her and want her to be comfortable

[holograph]

I don't think it's "manly" to help with housework. I don't think it's gendered.

Rather, I think men need to be okay with doing things even if they aren't "manly."

We can't be obsessed with the idea of doing "manly" things. How about we do "necessary" things.

[fabulousoldfart]

i tried to help my wife by yelling at her and showing her how my mom did it but she left me...

[Nadim171]

Exactly... no woman ever wants a man who treats her like a slave

[morrowlow]

unless they're in bed with those men

[Nadim171]

Some women are into maledom, some are into femdom.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@fabulousoldfart
She did the right thing by leaving you.

[Molly417]

@MysteriousDarkness I agree omg

[MsShyasf]

Guys need to help with housework anyway because it’s their house as well

[Nadim171]

Wow another 14 yo user

[Larissa_007]

First of all it is not helping, it's his house too...

[Nadim171]

If you read the mytake i said split it :)

[Larissa_007]

The title is still talking about helping the GF/Wife with household work which implies it's the woman's responsibility and the guy is just being chivalrous by helping.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Chores should always be divided, they shouldn't be only on one partner's weight.
Figures that I both worked AND did all the chores, with not one but two persons who couldn't be arsed to do anything at all...

[Nadim171]

Well honestly that was wrong you should have told them to do some of the chores and that you dont have time to do all of them.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

I did, and they wouldn't listen. Now I left and found someone else, but they keep trying to contact me and convince me to go back to them.

[Nadim171]

But your sister... you can't break up with a sister

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

No, but since she insists in living with my ex and dressing the same way as her and siding with her, I had to stop contact with her.
Heck, I'd be more than willing to keep contact with both if they stopped trying to cajole me in moving back with them. If they could accept my relationship with my ex is over and I have moved on, I'd be more than willing to have friendly relations with them.

[MzAsh]

I love that my man knows men aren’t above doing housework. It’s part of why I love and respect him more.

[coachTanthony]

I have a dish washer and a maid... I split nothing. LOL

[dantetheexplorer]

If, like an adult, you're taking on your fair share of the housework, it's not "helping out".
It's just you carrying out your responsibility.

If you use the phrase "helping out", the underlying implication is that the responsibility of housework falls solely on the shoulders of your wife or girlfriend, and that you are merely "helping" her out with that responsibility, like some good Samaritan.

However, any mature, level-headed, emotionally-balanced adult will realize that housework is a shared responsibility.
Just like how having children is a shared responsibility.
A father doesn't "help out" his wife when it comes to taking care of the children - it's his RESPONSIBILITY as well to take care of the children.
He's not a glorified babysitter.

Also, doing housework isn't " sacrificing " yourself.
That's like saying you going to your job and working from start to finish is you "sacrificing" yourself for your company.
It's your responsibility to fulfill your basic duties at the office, just like it's your responsibility to share the housework and childcare with your wife or your girlfriend.
You don't get some gold star or congratulatory pat on the back for doing what you're supposed to be doing. Imagine a Team Manager going around and saying things like "Good job balancing that Balance Sheet, Mary!" or "I see you called her back like you said you would - that's fantastic, Joe!"

"Helping" your wife or girlfriend with the housework isn't "manly" or deserving of some great celebratory party.

It's your responsibility to do your share of the housework.

Before you had a girlfriend or before you were married, as an independent adult, you must have done housework as well.

How is it suddenly NOT your responsibility just because you now have a girlfriend or wife?

Unless you've been involved in a horrible accident that saw you lose your limbs or ability to walk, you still have two arms, two hands, two legs, two feet - you can still do housework.

[Hurlyburly]

👏👏👏

[Janncis]

@Nadim171 why you only write about what man should do? Why you dont write how feminim is to fix a car, toilet or make new fence? Why you are acting like man dont know a shit what to do? Its called common sense, to help other around.

Since you are 14 years old, its not manly to say other a lot older man what they should do. Its manly to help where you can, and not bash other people if they are not doing the same. Woman can easlly do there own stuff.

Since you talked about sacrifice, do you even know what man sacrifice just by being a man? Helping around when you can is not a sacrifice. Sacrifice is going down with ship while woman survive, sacrifice is working jobs where your healt is damaged. Not helping at home. Why aren't you writing about work place deaths? aren't these man sacrificing something? How about other dangerous jobs? How about going to deployment and back with scars, where no one understands you, where your family breaks apart? aren't that called sacrifice?

Your just 14 worry about things of your age. And leave that toxic feminism.

[daliah]

This!! @Nadim171 should listen to every word of this.

[Nadim171]

Bro, please let me explain that all the things you listen, that you hate and men are expected to do like be the breadwinner and go to war is the result of, and I don't like to use this term because it's misused "toxic masculinity". In fact women can be the breadwinner and women SHOULD go to war.

[Janncis]

@Nadim171 man beeing stronger, better solders is biology, gender roles are biology, man are different than woman. Woman can't do things that man can do, as man can't do things woman can do. There is no way woman could carry man out of combat. Man + gear will weight twice of woman without gear. Woman can't be effective solders. Woman can't work
physically demanding jobs. There bodies are not made for it.
There is nothing toxic for admiting differences. We are expected to do them because we can do them, because woman usually can't do them. There are things that are expected from woman to. As a man you are expected to care, to defend your fammiliy.
Yes woman can do job they like and earn more than man, i dont give a shit about it. But do you job right.

Again you are only 14 you have no idea about grown up world. You think that because there are no real expection of you yet. As you will get older, people will expect you to act different. When you will have wife, you are expected to defend her, and if you dont, your a peace of s**t.

Stop bashing man for being man. Its totaly wrong, as you dont have a idea what it means to be man. Man already commit suicide a lot more because we dont really know how to express emotions. Bashing man for being man only drives us closer to that edge. But deam your just kid what you know about it. Loosing friends isn't fun. Not being able to help friends isn't fun. As a man we have a world of problems, but we must endure them. That is being man.

[Nadim171]

In the 12th century? Sure, that's correct. But this is 2019. Wars are won by the pull of a trigger. If women workout enough they can Overweight the average man. Most of the Israeli army is made of women

[tenukitanuki]

Bro you should just do it yourself anyway and then when she starts sleeping over and moving in that's when she helps /you/ because /you/ already need to finish these tasks. I still remember one girl washing my dishes in the morning sun through the window, like the perfect vision of that consideration and effort. I felt so good in that moment. Never fight about the dishes. If you're fighting about the dishes then there's bigger things afoot and greater demons to slay.

And you know what I appreciate after I get done a task or chore? A little shoulder rub. If you're not going to fold the laundry then you can at least rub a foot when she joins you on the couch. They may not be touchy-feely in public but I've never had a problem with my natural disposition in the privacy of home.

Also note: don't step on toes! The best thing guys learn in the military or certain job sites is protocol; don't do someone elses' job! It can jam up operations in the most uncomfortable way. If you or she likes to do X or Y chore a certain way, let em go. If things are combined, you can always split your portion your own way. It's all about staying on your own personal grind and not getting lazy out of comfort. So you scored a great girl, don't rest on your laurels.

[VIVANT]

🤔

Men should do house chores bc they are adults. Not bc they are helping. They should do it with or without anyone else.. just like women do. Did they live in a garbage bin before they met their wife? Mostly likely no 😅

Also not true about endurance. Men often have denser shorter powerful muscle. Women have longer muscle and greater endurance.

Men have strong spurts of intense energy. Women have long drawn out periods steady energy. Different metabolism... Women rely on fat metabolism for sustained energy. Men are more dependent on available glucose for spurts of energy.

Even in the healthiest male, Glucose stores deplete and need to be replenished frequently, whereas fat stores are plentiful unless the woman is severely malnourished.

Greater endurance means better chance of survival for her and offspring in times of famine.

[nomadia]

Well, i dont see a problem with men helping around. Men need to understand, women love it when they help. We see it as u being nice cuz the norm is men not helping. Men when u do this u are helping your woman rest and in return women usually reward men's helpful attitude with SEX. Women are more inclined to put out more often when men put in. We don't see it as u helping cuz it's your house we see it as u helping us. And obviously if a woman works she's tired at the end of the day and when we come home to a man that helps around we appreciate u more so even if we tired we still want to reward u with SEX for helping us out. In that way men get credit for helping and sex so what's not manly about that. And women love to brag when their man help so u get credit

[AimeeEllenn]

I'm glad there are guys like you! My dad has never helped my mum with the house work it's always been me and her doing it. It kinda made me worried for when I do move on with someone I don't want to be doing it all by myself, so I'm glad there are guys like you!

[Nadim171]

Thank you!

[GigiMary]

My fiancé is an absolute mess when trying to help me with housework! It's cute, but it mostly just makes more problems for me. He misplaces things, can't cook, doesn't clean the dishes throughly enough, and forgets to separate whites, lights, and darks and segregate by fabric while doing the laundry. And that's only the tip of the iceberg.

Besides - I take pride in my housework! We also add to the relationship in different ways. I like the take, but don't think I could or would want to add its message into my life, though I think the message is valuable. Thank you for the myTake!

[Nadim171]

You're welcome! But you can always train him to do it exactly the way you want. No one can do something correctly without being taught how to do it

[ChronicThinker]

Can we please stop arguing how regular-ass shit that people do is feminine or masculine?

You're making a justification for something that IS NOT a problem.

REGULAR ADULTS should know how to cook and clean, gender does not apply. If you can't, that's on you.

However you and your partner divide household responsibilities is your business, but stop acting like you deserve a gold medal just because you do basic shit like do dishes. You don't deserve praise.

[Hurlyburly]

Do not *help* the woman with the housework, do your own part of it. Helping sounds as if it was only the woman's responsibility. You benefit just as much as she does from a clean place and home cooked food.

[Nadim171]

I agree,

[oddwaffle]

It's not manly. You know it, i know it, everyone knows it. And it's irrelevant.

Why does a man have to be manly? Why can't I be not manly? If a woman doesn't want to do a woman's job then it is good for her. If a man doesn't do a man's job then he is a failure?

I don't want to do the dishes. Whether it is manly or not is completely irrelevant. However, the dishes don't wash themselves so I have to wash them if I want clean dishes. Or I can use disposable one or make a ton of money and hire a maid.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

Division of labour should be about equal OVERALL, but household labour is only one form out of many. If a man works 60 hours a week on an oil rig, and the wife spends 30 hours a week cooking a cleaning at home as an unemployed housewife, then you're not gonna convince me the husband should come home and do 15 weekly hours of household chores. Of course, many marriages now have both husband and wife working at least 40 hours a week each, before even getting round to household chores. So it should be divided up accordingly. If the woman was the sole breadwinner, and the husband stayed home, then the husband would absorb much of the household duties. It's just a matter of crunching the numbers and being rational about where labour is best (and most fairly) allocated.

[UnicornLobotomy]

No, she'll respect a man that appreciates how she does the chores in the house and will respect you more for expecting her to do them. If she doesn't have a job and you have children with her respecting the house as her work space is imperative. Nearly any man, who were to help that much, would began to misplace things or opine on how the chores are done a little too much and stir up drama in doing so.
In fact, giving valid opinions on her organization, design, cooking, or parenting methods would be more received if you didn't partake all of the damn time after or before work, as long as you are respectful but assertive to her.

[Shutupman]

Euh helping? In this day and age most women work just like men, so it wouldn’t be helping. Men should be doing housework because they live there too. How it gets divided is dependent on how many hours each works. But it shouldn’t be seen as a favor for a man to help his woman out in the house.

[boggboss]

I don't think it's manly or romantic it's simply another one of life's tasks that need to be done I don't even see how housework is still seen as a feminine art when most guys live single and clearly clean there places so why would it change once they got a partner lol

[Unit1]

This is neither manly nor unmanly. I agree with ChronicThinker, that we must stop labeling activities as belonging to either gender and just get over it.

My female coworker told me a short story, that I fully relate to. "I have a married friend (female), whose husband has a friend (male), who said, that housework chores are women's job and that women are supposed to do the clean up for everything. But that friend also lives in the same house as his woman, so it's not like he's not leaving his own waste behind. Why should she alone clean up after them both when they both live in the same house? Whenever a guy tells me 'a womans place is the kitchen and being a cleaning lady' I tell him 'You go back right to the caves/jungles from where you came. We live in the age of gender equality and civilization here.'." She made me laugh really good 😃😀😆😆😆 Needless to say I fully agreed with her.

[Massageman]

Nice post. We share chores but are flexible on exactly who does what and when.

But in general, I do most cooking, 3-4 loads laundry every Sunday, main food shopping, stocking the pantry, takes care of dog in evening, loading/unloading dishwasher, most bookkeeping, cleans basement, and daily yardwork. She washes pots and plasticware each night that can't go in dishwasher, does her business billings, primary caretaker of dog in morning, cleans house Friday or Saturday night, helps on yardwork when needed, cleans bathrooms.

[jgokgotit]

I agree with your example, assuming both the man and woman go to work. Responsibility should be split evenly. However, if she is not working and I am then I would expect her to maintain the house more. If I was staying at home and she was working then I would do the housework. Maintaining a home is a full time job if done properly.

[jgokgotit]

And no matter what, whoever makes a quick mess, like spilling a drink or dirtying a dish, should quickly clean it up then and there.