Learn To Say NO!

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Learn To Say NO!

I decided to write this take after asking a question about it this week. I asked about the struggle of saying no, and they changed the topic from Relationships to Girl's Behavior. Unfortunately, this does not only happen with women and has little to do with sexuality.

If your life is exhausting, if you think that people take advantage of you, that you have no patience and strength but still do everything that others ask, it's time to say NO. If you are not able to take time for yourself, when everyone else comes first in your life, if you are unmotivated, wanting to change and feeling like a prisoner of your social life... it's time for you to say NO.

Dont let yourself be used
Don't let yourself be used

Last year, I found myself in one of those situations that made me feel like a “people pleaser” because I'm used to help the people I love ~ being the person who they call when there's a crisis or when they need to vent. Being an only child, I was in a moment of stress because my father had had a serious surgery and I was responsible for solving all the problems and at the same time taking care of him. My time was divided between my work and my duty as a daughter.

In these times, friends who need us so much disappear and still complain about our absence. They told me to relax, to go out more, to keep helping them even if they knew I had so much going on. I began to feel confused, I had no time for anything, I was unable to express my own feelings out of pity and fear of hurting the person.

Hardships shape you
Hardships shape you

I was so overwhelmed with my life that I had no idea how to manage everything. Until the day one of my closest friends ~ who proved to be a true one ~ told me that I was too good to people all the time. I was used to always lift their spirits, encouraging their dreams and helping them in every way I could.

However, enough was enough. The person who needed me the most at that moment was myself.

I began to learn that in life we need to create boundaries. Limits for everything and everyone.

Setting boundaries is an act of love towards yourself
Setting boundaries is an act of love towards yourself

We put boundaries on our children, didn't we? Even on our pets! We teach them that not everything they can do, showing that the limit is important in human (or animal) formation. Thus, setting limits on our attitudes is also a daily exercise to educate ourselves.

Oh, but what if they get mad at me? If they don't want me in their lives anymore?

What if they don't love me because I always don't do what they ask and answer what they need? Do people who abuse your goodwill, who suck your energies and your ability to say yes, who make you their doormat love you?


Not being afraid of losing people is a good start. Not having a problem whether you like it or not, is another good start for your self-respect.

I've been too afraid of losing people in my life. I was so afraid I wouldn't be accepted by them in case I wasn't amazing and smart and available. I was terrified of all this. Today, I feel more mature. Along the way, I've learned that if I can't really do something, I won't do it. If I don't like something, I say I don't like it, I don't agree. I've seen a lot of ugly faces, oh, I did! But I didn't care about them, I didn't care at all. I was at peace with myself because I was free to make my choices, to go or come whenever I wanted, without worrying if it would take everyone away from me.

It's only by saying "NO" that you can concentrate on the things that are really important. (Steve Jobs)

It doesn't mean I say “no” all the time, none of that! It's knowing how far you can go to do one thing or the other, to accept something, without it harming you. When we don't tell someone we can't help them, when we don't say “no” we become conducive to always serve and be exploited by the smart asses who know our weaknesses.

That is the first step for your emotional freedom, for a healthy and happy life, no strings, no handcuffs, no dissatisfaction or worries ~ you just don't care anymore!

If they resent you, let it go!

If you wanna freedom, time and energy, just learn how to say NO!
If you wanna freedom, time and energy, just learn how to say NO!
Let us keep in our lives only people who respect our boundaries, who really care about us! That's who I am now. That time is over, I will never be like that anymore, I feel free now. Now, I say NO.

Thanks for reading.

#scctakes

Learn To Say NO!
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Most Helpful Guys

  • LiamSawyer
    Interestingly NO is one of the first words most kids learn to say and as we get older one of the hardest words to use as intended. Sometimes being told no or not to do certain things causes our curiosity to do the exact opposite. Very good subject for mutual discussion. One not only needs to learn to say NO but use it appropriately and mean it!
    Is this still revelant?
    • I didn't know this fact about babies, that's very interesting. As we grow , we have to learn how to say the word all over again, using social skills.

  • It's a lesson im trying to learn myself. My dad when he was still alive was like this. He would not accept no... And there are other people that I've had problems with boundaries too. This mytake is refreshing for me because I share the same struggle... Thank you for posting this :)
    Is this still revelant?
    • Thank you for reading! I'm sorry about your dad though.

    • Thank you, that means a lot

    • Thank you :)

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girls

  • laurieluvsit
    I know how much time it takes to put together a good myTake and you have put together a GREAT ONE!

    And is all...
    Is this still revelant?
  • Nice mytake!! Proud of you!!
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

210
  • brkninpcs70
    This is absolutely the best mytake I've read yet! I just wish I could have understood it a very long time ago.
    • Thank you! It takes a lot but we eventually do!

  • Clayaya
    Yes! I learned this in 2019. The word no is so very empowering. I feel like we need to teach children just how influential it is & that they should never be afraid to say it. We never owe anyone anything. I think I may have commented on the last mytake but I had sex with this dude that I thought was my friend. He pretty much badgered me for it. I said no several times & finally gave in & said yes. I almost felt obligated to do it. It felt like he’d think I was a bitch or be disappointed had I said no. I know it sounds dumb. We can’t allow people to manipulate us to say yes. 9/10 we know we’re being manipulated but are too afraid of confrontation. If they’re insisting they should not be in your life.
    • You shouldn't have felt obligated to do anything. I'm so sorry!

  • JohnDon9
    You are right , and quite strong to accept even if everybody leaves you you will be who you are
  • curioussheikh
    This is a very good myTake and a very important one, a lot of people definitely struggle to say NO and they are left used and abused again and again which in turn damages their mental health and relationships with people, leaving them alone and scared and very negative. It's good that you found the strength in yourself to achieve this and it was really a refreshing read for me

    I think this myTake can help a lot of people on GAG if they read it with their heart and try to understand what you are trying to teach them

    It's sad to hear that you have had such harsh experiences with people, it is heart breaking when you are left alone even though you are the kind of person that everyone should care for more because of how much you care for them, I've been where you say you were and coming across someone who's been through similar challenges just makes me feel happier, if that makes sense ❤️
  • broken_heart_at_48
    I agree 100% percent and these users are no good anyways and good riddance. They're to ignorant to realize how good of a friend you are so they try and push as hard as they even trying to sabotage you because they're jealous and want to see you lose everything even when that means there goes the cash cow that was helping them more than anyone. They can't just be thankful and happy for their friend that they're doing good. Because they petty and bottom feeders just wanting to mooch instead making their own hustle they gotta steal and do their friends dirty. Jealousy is a bad demon that consumes them and they just let it eat them up and in the end they're going to wind up alone with nothing and hating themselves
  • COMMODOREII
    Yes!!! 😂😂 really good.
  • motownplayer2000
    Best advise I ever got! It changed my entire life!
  • Exorcist_Rampage
    I wish more people did learn to say no.
  • alance99
    Nice Mytake
  • Shamalien
    THE LOST WORD
  • No!!
  • SecretGardenBlood65
    Good take
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