- Important note:
- This myTake can be controversial since it can be misunderstood. I'm NOT saying every single good guy or nice man is using you or being untruthful. To avoid any kind of wrong comments (and absurdly nasty words), I am already clarifying the topic here is very rare but not a rule. Thanks!
We always talk about how women are raised to be little princesses: delicate, subservient, sweet and especially helpless. Yes, helpless and in need of care. Pay close attention to fairy tales: every princess is in danger.
What about the role of hero, the great savior, the one who changes and transforms the life of the princess? Yeah, him. The Prince Charming.
Interesting that Prince Charming only shows up at the end, and we know little about who he is. But of course, he's the great love of the princess, so it can only be good, right?
The truth is that there are many men who believe to be the saviors of the poor helpless maidens.
They are the guys who suffer from Prince Charming Syndrome.
The “good guy,” the nice guy who wants to be your friend, who wipes the tears that some other bad guy caused. The expectation of the “Prince Charming” is that one day you will wake up (with a kiss from him, of course) and realize that he is the man of your dreams. He saves you from this miserable life of suffering for the scoundrels. He finds out your deepest wounds and tries to fix them. He rescues you. It's your prince on a white horse.
The plot is known: guy meets the girl, approaches her, plays the role of a friend, does everything the girl wants, sometimes does things she didn't even ask. Try at all costs to anticipate her needs, as a good provider does. As a Prince Charming would. He thinks he knows everything about you and sometimes he thinks he knows more than you do about yourself. Good thing he's on your side to help you in your life, huh?
What would you be without him? You'd probably be lost, poor thing.
Anyway, sometimes the nice guy who's your friend is a nice guy who turns into your boyfriend. And let's face it, this could be a good one. Dating someone you're intimate with, who knows you, who's seen your good and bad side, can make the relationship easier.
But those who suffer from this syndrome, when rejected or especially when they get tired of the girl, go through a mutation. Unfortunately, we rarely notice the signs that evidence the syndrome.
Their problem is that they believe that every woman should be honored by his interest and his decision to rescue her from pain. If you don't feel that way, it's because you're a worthless, cruel woman, a heartless nut job who puts the nice guys in the friendzone and will die dry on Tinder waiting for someone nice like him.
The friendzone, this mythical place where only the cool guys are sent, is the terror of Prince Charming. You've visited it, and you've probably sent several of your “friends” there. That's when you were busy trying to win over someone who never gave you a damn or even thought about you sexually.
The good guy keeps sending “friends” to the friendzone. Girls who like him, standing around in the expectation that one day he will realize that she is his princess. The girls who really begin to be romantically interested in him.
“But she is only my friend, not my type, I did not feel the spark of attraction” is the usual speech when in fact, he only approached her for the adrenaline of the conquest. They say these girls don't fit within the princess patterns he possesses. The highest and out-of-reality patterns that he dreams of finding. All because of a simple emotional immaturity: the inability of having a real relationship.
When they win the girl, they move on and go to the next challenge. If you wonder why many women fall into this game, the reason is that they are usually chosen by their fragile state, past trauma or some other vulnerability that Prince Charming decided to test their healing and rescue skills.
But when the girl is not interested, he rebellious at the fact that this girl used her right of choice to reject him, choosing someone else — but he can choose, right? His narcissistic mentality start thinking the idiotic excuse we only like the bastards!
Finding a nice guy is rare but he thinks how lucky women are to know that there are these enlightened, altruistic beings who free us from bad choices. The guy who saves us, conquers us and then abandons us if we let him into our hearts and who is surprised if we don't.
For men with this complex, beware.
Today I might be the cruel person who broke your heart, and tomorrow you will be the scoundrel who broke someone else's heart. And vice versa. It's life.
If you're in the friendzone all the time, with all the women you've been interested in, have you ever thought about evaluating what you do to always put yourself there? Most of the times a woman wants to be your friend, that's exactly what she wants.
Can she happen to fall in love? She can. It's already happened to me.
Can you happen to not fall in love? You can, too.
For those who have identified themselves with some traits and behaviors, know that using the pretext of “being a friend” when in fact your interest is another, is at least levian. Hurting people for fun or wanting them for vanity is sick.
Maybe you're not this nice guy at the end of the day. Maybe you're just another frog looking for validation.