The Prince Charming Factor

A frog will always be a frog...
A frog will always be a frog...
  • Important note:
  • This myTake can be controversial since it can be misunderstood. I'm NOT saying every single good guy or nice man is using you or being untruthful. To avoid any kind of wrong comments (and absurdly nasty words), I am already clarifying the topic here is very rare but not a rule. Thanks!

We always talk about how women are raised to be little princesses: delicate, subservient, sweet and especially helpless. Yes, helpless and in need of care. Pay close attention to fairy tales: every princess is in danger.

What about the role of hero, the great savior, the one who changes and transforms the life of the princess? Yeah, him. The Prince Charming.
Interesting that Prince Charming only shows up at the end, and we know little about who he is. But of course, he's the great love of the princess, so it can only be good, right?
The truth is that there are many men who believe to be the saviors of the poor helpless maidens.

They are the guys who suffer from Prince Charming Syndrome.

The Good Guy
The Good Guy

The “good guy,” the nice guy who wants to be your friend, who wipes the tears that some other bad guy caused. The expectation of the “Prince Charming” is that one day you will wake up (with a kiss from him, of course) and realize that he is the man of your dreams. He saves you from this miserable life of suffering for the scoundrels. He finds out your deepest wounds and tries to fix them. He rescues you. It's your prince on a white horse.

The plot is known: guy meets the girl, approaches her, plays the role of a friend, does everything the girl wants, sometimes does things she didn't even ask. Try at all costs to anticipate her needs, as a good provider does. As a Prince Charming would. He thinks he knows everything about you and sometimes he thinks he knows more than you do about yourself. Good thing he's on your side to help you in your life, huh?

What would you be without him? You'd probably be lost, poor thing.

Anyway, sometimes the nice guy who's your friend is a nice guy who turns into your boyfriend. And let's face it, this could be a good one. Dating someone you're intimate with, who knows you, who's seen your good and bad side, can make the relationship easier.

Dating your best friend
Dating your best friend

But those who suffer from this syndrome, when rejected or especially when they get tired of the girl, go through a mutation. Unfortunately, we rarely notice the signs that evidence the syndrome.

Their problem is that they believe that every woman should be honored by his interest and his decision to rescue her from pain. If you don't feel that way, it's because you're a worthless, cruel woman, a heartless nut job who puts the nice guys in the friendzone and will die dry on Tinder waiting for someone nice like him.

Not every nice guy is a Prince
Not every nice guy is a Prince

The friendzone, this mythical place where only the cool guys are sent, is the terror of Prince Charming. You've visited it, and you've probably sent several of your “friends” there. That's when you were busy trying to win over someone who never gave you a damn or even thought about you sexually.

The good guy keeps sending “friends” to the friendzone. Girls who like him, standing around in the expectation that one day he will realize that she is his princess. The girls who really begin to be romantically interested in him.

“But she is only my friend, not my type, I did not feel the spark of attraction” is the usual speech when in fact, he only approached her for the adrenaline of the conquest. They say these girls don't fit within the princess patterns he possesses. The highest and out-of-reality patterns that he dreams of finding. All because of a simple emotional immaturity: the inability of having a real relationship.

When they win the girl, they move on and go to the next challenge. If you wonder why many women fall into this game, the reason is that they are usually chosen by their fragile state, past trauma or some other vulnerability that Prince Charming decided to test their healing and rescue skills.

They always want to HELP the girls...
They always want to HELP the girls...

But when the girl is not interested, he rebellious at the fact that this girl used her right of choice to reject him, choosing someone else — but he can choose, right? His narcissistic mentality start thinking the idiotic excuse we only like the bastards!

Finding a nice guy is rare but he thinks how lucky women are to know that there are these enlightened, altruistic beings who free us from bad choices. The guy who saves us, conquers us and then abandons us if we let him into our hearts and who is surprised if we don't.

He is NOT your friend
He is NOT your friend

For men with this complex, beware.

Today I might be the cruel person who broke your heart, and tomorrow you will be the scoundrel who broke someone else's heart. And vice versa. It's life.

If you're in the friendzone all the time, with all the women you've been interested in, have you ever thought about evaluating what you do to always put yourself there? Most of the times a woman wants to be your friend, that's exactly what she wants.

Can she happen to fall in love? She can. It's already happened to me.

Can you happen to not fall in love? You can, too.

For those who have identified themselves with some traits and behaviors, know that using the pretext of “being a friend” when in fact your interest is another, is at least levian. Hurting people for fun or wanting them for vanity is sick.

Maybe you're not this nice guy at the end of the day. Maybe you're just another frog looking for validation.

Thanks for reading!

#scctakes #food4thought

The Prince Charming Factor
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15Girl Opinion
49Guy Opinion

Most Helpful Guy

  • MannMitAntworten
    Interesting read. Personally I have never been attracted to the “princess”. The woman I am kind of seeing expressed to me one evening that she is a princess. My immediate mental reaction being, “Oh fuck... what did I get myself into?” Historically I steered clear of the princess as I just never felt we were a good match. I have a number of women friends who feel as if jilted princesses (yes, quite attractive) but I still don’t fee drawn towards them. I am not attracted to the helpless/submissive types. I am aggressive. I need aggressive and cunning in a woman. It somehow brings me balance. I don’t feel fulfillment or whatever as a man when my woman ‘leans’ on me for simple task like opening a jar. If anything I admire their resolute drive to figure it out on their own if their own brute force isn’t enough to open it. Which is only further enjoyed when I see the smirk upon their faces when they successfully open it by themselves. A ridiculously small thing but I know how she approaches a small obstacle will be how she approaches a great obstacle and that illuminates a detail of their character which I appreciate to no end. Perhaps odd of me, but I appreciate knowing she can take of things if I am absent or even “passed”. I would hate for to feel a necessity to find another man merely to “take care of her” because she is helpless on her own rather than meeting another because she is once again another’s worth while match and he is her’s.

    I do not get into relationships because they attractive, or the sex, or any of the litany of reason given through convention. No, I get involved because they somehow make my life, ‘better’, and bring out the better in me and along the way I hope I do the same in them. Otherwise, I can do this alone. I don’t want a “pet girlfriend”, arm candy, nor a maid.
    Like 3 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • You are very interesting!

    • Yes, you are. Your words make sense without insulting other's opinions and you seem to have a lot to say..

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • Godofmyownwurld
    And they never want to believe you when you say you're gay. They either think they can turn you straight or that you're just lying because you don't like them. These kind of "nice guys" are the worst and I distance myself immediately when I find out what they are. They're desperate and deep down they have no respect for women.
    LikeDisagree 2 People
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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Brainsbeforebeauty
    Love this take 👍👍
    Yeah I know someone who could fit this take almost to a T... I mean who would be dumb enough to tell you they go after people with low self esteem, then try to come at you lolol Mistake there, cuz I don't have low self esteem... 🙂🙂
    LikeFunny 2 People
  • pervertedjester
    None of this makes sense to me. I get the intro and what your trying to say but beyond the first few paragraphs the thoughts seem jumbled up. And I've read this 5 or more times now. Are you trying to warn women about the syndrome? Trying to show men their missteps? Trying to fix the issue? A mix of everything maybe? Maybe I just can't see the context. Hopefully you can explain it a bit better to me.
    Like 2 People
    • I'm not trying to fix anything or show men how they act. I wrote about something real that happens to many women. I even wrote a note saying the take could have many points of view. The fact is there are many men that act like a good guy until they win the girl and lose the interest unless she doesn't get interested, then they start acting like crazy.
      It wasn't an attack, trust me.

  • Cynicaldreamer
    "The good guy keeps sending “friends” to the friendzone. Girls who like him, standing around in the expectation that one day he will realize that she is his princess. The girls who really begin to be romantically interested in him... But she is only my friend, not my type, I did not feel the spark of attraction” is the usual speech..."I read this part twice, nodding because that is SO true. I've been in that situation so many times it hurts y'all. Ironically those same "good guys" are the main ones that complain about no one wanting them. Yet when a girl expresses interest in said guy: friendzoned (or sisterzoned, whatever the case may be). The same girls that will probably love or treat him better than anyone else he will ever chase after, yet he's not willing to give her a chance... re-state://background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft, p
    Like 4 People
    • Everything you wrote is right. The same guys who complain about never finding a girl, are the ones who hurt a lot of good girls. They just want the perfect one but who seeks perfection is someone who seeks nothing.

    • The same could be said for the woman in this case. The man is generally doing the same as the woman, looking for someone that meets their relationship criteria. If he is friend zoned by the so called princess, then how is that any different than the guy doing the same to the women he is not romantically interested in? Generally if you truly care for someone then you enjoy seeing them happy, even if it is with someone else. It may hurt, but you are still happy for them. I think that is what separates truly good people from the pretender (which can either be the male or female)

    • @finallylettinggo You're right, we never said women weren't guilty of doing the same. However, for the sake of this mytake, we were looking at it from a female's perspective.

      But it sucks, guy or girl receiving it.

    • Show All
  • DizzyDesii
    “When they win the girl, they move on and go to the next challenge. If you wonder why many women fall into this game, the reason is that they are usually chosen by their fragile state, past trauma or some other vulnerability that Prince Charming decided to test their healing and rescue skills.” — this is so true. Im tired of being a victim of this. But i’ll keep taking risks and hoping for the best
    Like 4 People
    • I know, right? The moment we are most vulnerable, we have the courage to open up to someone who happens to be only looking for validation..

    • Yea thats why im treading cautiously

    • 7121uc

      I guess I’m guilty of doing this.

  • brennanhuff
    Should these dudes be called prince charming though? They may feel they are princes, but they aren't charming. Rescuing women from their problems like you said and playing it like they are a friend is not charming. That word is over used. Not everybody is charming and only a certain amount are I feel. Many are charming to a degree, but very charming, that's a natural trait. It's like many people are funny, but how many are improv brilliant funny like Robin Williams? I'm funny, but I can't "practice" or work to be that way, that's a natural gift Robin Williams had. A charming guy has a humor, a smile, a razor sharp with flirtation but genuine that sparks strong feelings from people he talks to. I'm not prince charming, but yes I am a charming sob ;). But then again you don't have to worry about me, because I'm not playing some pretend rescuing bs, because I don't need to do that. I'd just be straight up and attract with playful, flirty, witty banter while a heavy dose of mocking myself in the process...
    Like 1 Person
  • t-8900
    I'm not into the princess. Have you ever seen shows or movies that portray a whole village in the Ancient or Dark Ages of Europe? Where people in the far north like Ireland, Scotland, or Scandinavia are still tribal? And they have really beautiful priestesses that are devoted to their Religion, Culture, and Traditions? But they are still dressed pretty sexy and can be both strong and submissive towards the warrior they meet? That's the gal I want tbh! All people, even men can't have breaking points.

    Sometimes the woman needs to be able to become strong when the man is down and life him up and inspire him. She has grace, she has beauty, she has wisdom, she has an inspiring presence, just being around her is invigorating. She's able to be strong and gentle in equal measure when times call for it. She can adapt and she brings hope. That's the woman I'd go for. Some females thing that means they have to get ugly, and yell and hit. No, you just need to be clear and put your foot down and say "no". I actually find that sexy tbh. Also Lagertha from Vikings I found very attractive because she could play those roles well. She was able to be a lover and a fighter, gentle yet strong.
    Like 1 Person
  • SystemOfTheMachine
    This is a bit interesting. You're getting at a some intriguing ideas, but about half way through I did become slightly confused as to what your main point is.

    Nonetheless, the examination of the prince charming/princess relationship is something that seems connected to popular culture and some societal norms. The image of a prince charming that you are using also seems to be derivitive of the unfortunate Disney heteronormative dogma that belittles women and sanctifys men as saviors. This idea specifically seems to be corrosive on western society, at least in my opinion.

    A prince charming and a "nice guy" seem to be two slightly different entities though they are lumped together in this argument. I personally find it slightly confusing the way these are talked about. Is a prince charming a subspecies of the nice guy or are they the same thing?

    Now, in my experience, I would somewhat fall into the "nice guy" caricature. I have many female friends and I treat them with respect, not specifically because they're women, but because they are friends. Do I desire a princess? Hell no. I have a female friend who is the spitting image of the princess trope, and I could never even imagine dating her. I personally want someone who can handle themselves and definitely not someone that needs saving. So, even though I may be a nice guy, or even a prince charming, I don't desire women to be indebted to me or reliant on me in every way.

    I think that there are "nice guys" that do it for vanity reasons, but not all.

    Either way, nice guys finish last. Women love bad boys. 😭 jk.

    This post reminded me of a song from when some youtubers actually had talent:

    Here is another song from my high school days:
    Like 1 Person
  • I-C3_ME
    I don't really know how to take this but i believe most of what u say, there are"nice guys" who get rejected and turn in to this rude mutation of what u thought they where. I'm really sad they exist but I'm honestly more sad for them, cuz with that toxic behaviour they'll never have a healthy relationship. I know em as r/niceguys

    I also think i have a prince charming factor in me although I'm not that charming (7/10 I'd say), tho i refuse to be filled with hatred cuz that's a lot worse to me then being a friend. even tho a lot of guys say that XD, you'll have to meet me to find out i guess hahaha.

    Anyways enough about me, u said that a friend that becomes a boyfriend can be a great relationship and i agree heavily with that, but when your in the friend stage, don't expect, don't put pressure on the other person. If it happens it happens, if not accept it. A good friend is hard to find so don't throw it all away trying to get laid XD

    So final advice you guys out there:

    When u always think with your D,
    U are gonna get fucked eventually

    So make sure to have those good times while u can,
    And always try to become a better man
    Like 1 Person
  • igaveyouanickname
    Haha. I was that sucker who was nauseatingly-polite and never colored outside the lines until I was about 25. That's when you throw most of the model of fitting "properly" into the world out the window and start over. You don't need a tat or a move to Tibet to accomplish it.

    You can't worry about whether someone has some grand machinations in their mind or not, you have to focus on the motivations of people: alignment of interests. I've been with all kinds of wild crazy girls who think I'm going to make them rich, pretty, successful, popular, scream all day and all night, or be their dad so they can reenact some old trauma, but that's not going to happen. If someone has nothing to gain and everything to lose by committing some act that you're worried about, why would they, unless they're stupid (avoid stupid people)? And, if you don't trust them, why are you with them (if it's them) or with anyone (if it's you)?

    Anytime my mom acts helpless, I tell her to remember what her dad taught her: "don't be helpless, and don't be dependent on a man." This is good advice because what if he leaves or dies suddenly. Then what?

    The "helpless"-by-default act signals someone is a mooch and not worth my time. Bring skills, ambition, and initiative, or GTFO. If anything, I should be telling her to quit serving me so much. Princesses can stay in their own castles. Alone. :)
  • anon1903
    I really appreciate your little note. Some people do not understand my takes are personal views.
    Like 2 People
    • It’s sad isn’t it that people have to be reminded of this isn’t it?

      It’s called MY take for a reason people! *throws hands in air in dismay *

    • I still wrote a side note warning about the topic being something viewed from many points. But they still are destroying me.. LOL

  • Bluemax
    "But she is only my friend, not my type, I did not feel the spark of attraction"

    This is a highly legit reason to friendzone anyone, male or female.

    Interesting take.
    Like 1 Person
  • Jjpayne
    It's hard to know how to handle relationships... Trying to be a good guy... It could either leave me with wrong expectations or confuse the girl or even worse, have her put me into the friend zone because I'm not boyfriend material 😞
    Like 1 Person
  • DocT1977
    If you want to avoid the white nights, start out as friendship only. Nothing else for a while. This way, all cards are out on the table, faces up. If they're running a game, you'll know it soon enough if they start overstepping their boundaries despite what you tell them.
  • Samoht_Sirrom1
    What if you genuinely care about the person you "rescued" they themselves tell you that you did even if you say you are worthless. .. And despite being friend zoned or worse still Brother zoned (Adopted, seen as a brother) you are still by their side not asking pressuring or even hoping for more just happy that they are safe, sound and alive who has no issues even if they were to leave and marry someone else... How does that person fit in?
  • I-am-always-here
    So true and so sad, but thus is life. I think that most of this “Prince Charming Factor” is a subconscious one. Those that premeditate the Factor for sport is sick. One has to be self aware of one’s own mental state every time one enters a freundschaft/friendship. We have to know ourselves and the other persons mental state as well. Sometimes when a woman/girl looks for a male friend, she is really in reality looking for just that, a friend. She might of been badly hurt from a relationship and just now letting someone into her life again, and really just needs a friend, just for someone to be there for her, to be a friend. Sometimes there can be comfort in the opposite gender, a mindset that is different than our own. But instead of understanding this, there is selfish gain to procure oneself, this by conscious or subconscious endeavor underhandedly try to pry the entrance to the heart. Then the casualties of pride start to work, when one is rejected from that something more type of relationship one endeavored to gain, such causes all the aforementioned errs of life. In not being a true friend when she needs it the most, we just hurt her like all the rest, and the cycle heretofore thus continues to hurt one another. I declare, just enjoy the ride. If in friendship, if both share the same thoughts for each other , great, if not, nothing is wrong with a good friend. Just be there for her, and she shall be there for you. But in closing, one must not send artificial signals, this goes for both parties. They are easy to do, very easy. Just do not repeat the same mistake more than once. Be safe out there, and take care of each other.
  • DeltaCharlieEcho
    Prince Charming complex is a direct result of taking advice from women and listening to what they say they want. Because women generally rate very high in Agreeableness they have a tendency to say what others want to hear rather than what they really feel. This means, while the intent isn't too be malicious, women by nature are effectively pathological liars when compared to men.

    This is why you don't take advice on dating from women.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • Where all the women you ever met talking to you at gunpoint? Oy reason I can think off for you to believe that they all simply say what they think we want to hear.

    • @DeltaCharlieEcho
      Understandable perspective. But if you're gonna take it from somebody, one of the men who have women all over them could help you. The Alphas. But... take it from them - it's not easy to pull off.

    • Absolutely correct.

    • Show All
  • glock33sig357
    I started out as the good prince charming type but was ignored so i changed into the confident asshole that women love to chase and fucked most of those who had me friendzoned, now i choose who see the prince charming i can still be and who sees the big bad wolf; it's not about what you show but how much of it you show.
  • bamesjond0069
    This is why you never be friends with a girl you like. She says just be friends you say no thanks. I didn't talk to you to be your friend, i talked to you to get to know you and see if i want to date you... friendship never entered the equation.
    LikeDisagree 4 People
  • Liam_Hayden
    I like the part about "nice guys" but I will never understand the deal about the "Friend Zone." No one ever gets sent to the friend zone. They voluntarily enter it and voluntarily remain there.
    Like 2 People
  • Jamie05rhs

    " “But she is only my friend, not my type, I did not feel the spark of attraction” is the usual speech when in fact, he only approached her for the adrenaline of the conquest. They say these girls don't fit within the princess patterns he possesses. The highest and out-of-reality patterns that he dreams of finding. All because of a simple emotional immaturity: the inability of having a real relationship."

    Are you saying that they had sex?
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