Love is not butterflies!

[Juxtapose]

It is not about how you feel, it is about how you ACT.

People seem to always want the next best thing & crave that "spark". Do you really think that type of feeling is going to last 10 years? 20 years? 30 years? Etc? Give up the idea of a whirlwind romance where you end up in some big castle after a fantasy, 100K wedding.

It's a Disney fantasy and people are increasingly losing their grip on reality. Commitment and loyalty through hard times is what makes love true! But some people always want more. Just look at what happened to Will Smith, Jeff Bezos & Robert Pattinson.

People don't wanna commit. They don't want a human partner, they want an unobtainable fantasy.

Your thoughts?

And of course, no anon cowards allowed.

[Unit1]

This should be common knowledge but apparently it's not.

Is it a coincidence, that women date up and men date down?

[Juxtapose]

Hmm.. it's almost like the people dating up keep trying to go higher and higher and are never satisfied.

[Unit1]

Thanks for the most helpful opinion man!

[yofuknutz]

No kidding

[WowwGirl]

Very deep and blunt my friend.. I think fantasy and reality are not the same word for a reason

[WowwGirl]

Thank you dude😊

[SeanshterMonster]

I don't know what an anon coward is but I'll give my best answer. There are people who care about love. I do care about romance and love of course. But it needs hard work and commitment. Falling in love yes that is real. But I would rather have a relationship that's more fantacy like (with commitment and all) rather then the disgusting relationships now. People base their relationships off of what the other person can get them and how much sex they have and how good it is. I want a relationship where we hike together, read together, just experience life together, ups and down, hardships and great times. I want to do new things with the other person and have a family. You may call me stupid but I cherish the loving romatic relationship, and it doesn't have to be romantic. My favorite date is either a picnic and reading or going to Omzi and seeing one of their star shows then go eat at a good food truck after. That's what I think

[Juxtapose]

I'm just distinguished between the honeymoon phase and actual commitment.

[SeanshterMonster]

I like to combine both. Everyone's honeymoon phase is diffrent. My uncle and aunt have been married like 8 years and still in the honeymoon phase and commitment. So it's possible

[yofuknutz]

The anon coward is shortman70 on another post.

[Acala]

Love is not a feeling , it's a choice , I don't believe in marriage , I think if I am in love with someone , i don't need any priests , pandit or any government's permission to be with her , but I think the idea of marriage is that , we have to question ourselves that weather we want to live our entire life with that person or not , if you can make that choice and commitment without marriage , it's would be fine by my opinion. So , the conclusion is , Love is not a feeling , it's a choice , choice to stick together through thick and thin...

[Juxtapose]

"choice to stick together through thick and thin..."

That takes commitment that I don't think people have these days.

Especially with women and how they have hundreds of beta orbiters.. the "greener on the other side" temptation is too strong.

[hornyafbi69]

Huh well okay I was tought that was called chivalry. Love is more than actions it's moving past the "perfections" that you found in each other in the first place. It's finding the imperfections and not just accepting them but seeing them as those initial "perfection" acting better won't help when you find out after 2 years you can't stand to be together

[Bluemax]

Love is both action and feeling.

The feelings of romance, excitement, and affection are quite literally the *only* things that separate love and friendship. Even if the initial feelings fade over time, without them initially, all you have is friendship.

[Juxtapose]

I think sex & general PHYSICAL intimacy is what separates friends from lovers.

[Bluemax]

Sex and physical intimacy are chores... and bad chores at that, without the aforementioned things.

Everything I mentioned above is necessary for love. Sex and physical intimacy are not. Witness the countless fuckbuddies who have sex and physical intimacy who don't love each other.

[Juxtapose]

Nah man. Your mom can give you everything a lover can *except* sex.

[Bluemax]

No, she cannot. My mother never provided me with romance or excitement, both of which can be experienced without sex.

[Bluemax]

It is absolutely imperative that you have *feelings* with physical affection. Without it, it's just another chore.

[Juxtapose]

You must have been circumcised if you think it's just a chore.

[Bluemax]

No, I was just in a relationship where those feelings never existed. It was a chore. Trust me. The act of hand holding was a chore. Kissing was a chore. Cuddling was a chore. It didn't take long before it was a thing to be avoided.

[Juxtapose]

Do you feel like that during one night stands?

It sounds like you just didn't like the bitch.

[Bluemax]

I never have one night stands.

She was not a bitch. I loved her as a friend, I didn't love her as a girlfriend.

One night stands tend to demonstrate my point. In one night stands, you *don't* love the person, yet you do experience sex and physical intimacy.

I was married to someone I did have all those feelings for. I felt romance with my wife (for all 14 years before she passed away). I felt excitement for her. I felt affection for her. I loved her.

The *only* difference between my wife and the aforementioned girlfriend is not the sex, not the physical intimacy (I had both in both relationships), it's the way I *felt* about them. My parents' marriage of 51 years also confirms everything I just mentioned.

If you never had excitement, If you never had affectionate feelings, if you never had romance, it ain't love.

[Juxtapose]

Romance and all of that comes from sex and cannot exist without sex existing. If we were asexual such a thing would never exist.

It's all tied into sex.

[Bluemax]

Tell that to people who weren't born with or who lost their genitalia who are in love.

My wife and I were in love *before* we had sex. I did not love the aforementioned girlfriend even after we had sex. My parents waited until marriage to have sex. They were in love before they married.

[Juxtapose]

Would they still feel that way if our species evolved as an asexual one?

Hell, the only reason we're even nice to each other is because we're a group species. If we were solitary animals empathy would be a completely alien concept. We would all be sociopaths.

Nearly everything humans do exists for some crude, naturalistic reason.

[Bluemax]

The same forces of evolution also gave us the aforementioned feelings.

And I agree about almost all of our behaviors coming from some naturalistic reason... including romance, affection, and attraction.

I maintain that love is both action and feeling.

[sensible27]

If you're stagnant, no. It's only as good as you make it. "Who doesn't dare to grasp the thorn should never crave the rose"

[Juxtapose]

What do you mean? Could you rephrase that?

[yofuknutz]

You going to get hurt a little bit to enjoy beautiful

[Juxtapose]

@yofuknutz Wow finally, thanks!

[yofuknutz]

Actually I held back the truth, nowadays you're going to sustain a lot of injuries to get a squeeze at the psleeve.

[Juxtapose]

@yofuknutz I have a long history of dating mentally ill women, trust me, I know xD

My current girlfriend is pretty cool though.

[yofuknutz]

^^^ mental illness and women seem to be the norm nowadays you better hold on to your girlfriend bud I keep her away from mr. Short man 70

[AlwaysBelieving]

Love is a choice. I think there are different stages of romantic love.

[Liam_Hayden]

Agreed. Love is not the emotions. Love is seeking the best for the other.

[amelieknows]

Love is an emotion. Whether to act on it or not, is a choice.

[Juxtapose]

Emotions fade and are very fickle.

Not what I would personally want to base a relationship on. I would rather find someone logical, who recognizes that their feelings won't always work in their best interest. That for a lifelong relationship, sometimes it will suck and you will have to stick with it to get over the problem.

If it's just emotion and not a logical commitment, what's keeping you from monkey branching and fully embracing hypergamy when the "spark" & "chemistry" fades?

[amelieknows]

My point is : love alone isn't enough.

[SeanshterMonster]

If it was just based off logic where the love? Why would I want to get with someone that's only with me just because I get them nice things and take care of them? I want love and to feel loved and cherished. Not used

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Love puts butterflies in my stomach

[Juxtapose]

For how long though?

[Gwenhwyfar]

Love is butterflies. And pink hearts.

[WowwGirl]

Yayyyyyy pink

[Gwenhwyfar]

@WowwGirl 💗💗💗

[sensible27]

Sad cyan heart noises

[Gwenhwyfar]

@sensible27 cyan is beautiful