You got into a fight with your boyfriend? Don't know if you guys should stay together even after the hurtful exchanges of words you had? Fighting in a relationship is normal and there's absolutely no way you can avoid this. There are times that you might even undergo the silent treatment. That's actually the most common thing guy do to women when they're mad at you. After the fight, guys tend to distract themselves rather than focus on their emotions because that's how they're wired, while women care more about their feelings (though there are also women who are into their logical side).
So without further ado, here are 9 ways on how to deal with a guy's silent treatment after fighting:
1.) Give him space
Allow him to chill and let him vent out his frustrations by himself. When talking to him about your argument repeatedly, he's just going to be infuriated even more, so don't interrogate his space, especially this is the common thing guys want. Guys love their space so much that they won't compromise this to anyone else.
2.) Never in any under circumstances apologize to him
You might hear some that say giving him a heartfelt apology makes him feel better but TRUST ME, guys want actions not words. So if you keep apologizing, not only will he get more angry but he will also see you as an insecure woman who lost her self-respect all because she tries hard to be forgiven, knowing that no one's perfect (we will go through that later). Remember, actions speak louder than words, so rather than saying sorry, work on your flaws.
3.) Do not act paranoid
Nothing's more creepy than a woman who overthinks and dwells on her past actions. If you've done number 2, then you shouldn't have to overthink things. Not only will it affect your self-esteem but it will surely distract you from changing your ways. So focus on changing yourself instead of overthinking what might happen if he brings it up or dwelling on what you did, what's done is done!
4.) Work on yourself
Aside from what you did, work on how you can change the things you think is a flaw. Part of making peace in a relationship is also working on how you act or communicate to other people. Are you hot-headed or a nagger? Change whatever flaw you have so that your boyfriend won't have to think that you"re still the same you.
5.) Realize that mistakes are a part of growing up
This is the entrepreneur mindset. No-one in this world has no history of mistakes, everyone has this. So don't regret making a mistake, I'm not telling you to kill or do something against the law but the point is, mistakes are your best teacher in life. Learn from your wrongdoing so you'll find out what and what not to do.
6.) Do not allow him to bring it up
When some time has passed and your boyfriend still rubs it in that you did what you did to him, draw a boundary that he can't cross. Him rubbing your mistake in means that he only cares about himself and that he doesn't realize he has flaws as well. Don't allow selfishness to take over you and stop tolerating bitterness. This will show him that you're not allowing him to define who you are and that he's far from perfect.
7.) Give him a reality check
One of the things that makes a guy stop ignoring you is if you ignore him back. This is a powerful psychological motivator for guys. But you can use this trigger as an advantage too. When he finally messages at this time, spend time apart and make him miss you or even cry over you from time to time. Not that I'm saying make him suffer, but show him that if he won't act like a mature person, you have other things to do than to keep pleasing him when he's taking your actions for granted. Just a bit of chase might be what he's missing.
8.) Final ultimatum
Don't nag or pout, but make it clear to him that you're not interested in bringing up the past fight you had. If he still chooses to rub it in, it's okay to express your concerns and tell him that it turns you off. Sometimes this is the wake up call guys need to realize that making you feel like you are your mistakes in unhealthy for you!
9.) Dump him
If it's been 2 months and he still hasn't reached out nor forgiven you, kicking him to the curb is your best move. He's never gonna forgive you by clinging to him and giving him everything he wants. If a guy is being cold no matter what circumstances, you need a strong message that you're not who anyone else says you are and you're not someone who will be treated that way. Be upfront about your expectations and if he isn't willing to meet them then ghost him. This works especially in this situation. This is because the kind of guy who gets bitter, unforgiving or vengeful is the kind of guy who's insecure and selfish. The fear of losing you will make you realize he can't take you for granted and he will correct his behavior and start treating you right. Don't leave it open-ended. Don't tell him that you'll be waiting around forever. Show him the resting bitch face whenever he starts talking again and that you have several options and that if he isn't careful, you will throw him out of your life. Besides, if he really loves you, he will know that you're more that what you did to him.
Here's the message to use in this case:
I don't want to be with you anymore. I deserve to be with someone who is man enough to let go of the things causing hindrance to the relationship. Breakups are tough but so is dealing with your bitter a**. I don't care about you anymore, I'll do what's best for me, and that is dumping you.
That's all there is to this Take, hope you like this and never forget to keep your head up ladies! Don't let any immature boy define your worth by making him dictate your mistakes to him. NEVER beg for forgiveness and be a woman of value!
Belated happy valentines day!