Should my boyfriend love me more than his sister?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and his sister grew up with a drunk of a father who was abusive to their mother, so they are pretty close.
We have been together for over a year now and we are talking about moving in together etc (im 23 and he's 24).
Yet recently me and his sister got into an argument about her wanting me to pay half of her holiday debt because she can't comprehend that I have paid my full amount and thinks that the outstanding debt from last months holiday is joint (not really relevent).
Anyway, I called his sister "tight because she would rather spend her money on a new makeup set then actually do some math and work out she owes the full amount" .. and he started yelling at me saying "Don't talk about my sister like that!"
and then proceeds to say "Don't ever think that I will choose you over her. Or Her over you. I will never put one of you first. "
"I love you equally and that is how it will stay"
... Am I wrong for expecting the guy that says he's "in love" with me and hopes to marry me one day would have more love for me than for his younger sister (by 2 years)?

[Kttwil]

Well im not saying that all of the men on this are young then 40 but it seems to me like some of you need to do a bit of growing when it comes to relationships due to the fact that if my baby brother told he's beautiful wife of many years that he would choose myself over her i would be greatly upset with him reasons being if and when u find your true partner in life they should be your everything more so than yourself and even your family not saying to forget about your family because family is your lifeline blood is thicker than water true and the love is different yes but your partner in life should stand by you in everything this world throws at you and do u really want a sexual relationship with a blood relative just sayin so if he said this she needs to back up at think long and hard to weather or not to spend the rest of her life with a man that would choose his sister over her makes me wonder if there's more to their relationship i love my bother dearly and would hurt someone for him if they try hurting him but i love my husband more than my brother and hope he love his wife more than me in all fairness thank you

[donut94]

You are wrong. I was going to say "kind of" but no, I'll be straight forward. I say blood is thicker than water. At least your boyfriend said he would not chose his sister over you or you over his sister. So take that as a compliment. At least he said he loves you and his sister EQUALLY so take that he is considering you as his family. No offense but the fact that you can really think that you can come between him and sister like that and hope/expect/want that his love for you must be more than his sister just because you might get married in the future is wrong. Think about it. How do you think it makes his poor sister feel? I get it, sometimes your boyfriend's family piss the living hell out of you but respect goes a long way. If you really value and truly love your boyfriend, you will respect his love for his sister and not try to get between them because that to me is messed up. Appreciate that he loves you and as equally as his sister. Dont try to measure love.

[LaceyG]

I dont see an issue with his feelings for his sister but if what you are saying is true, and his sister clearly owes you money, well then his behaviour was unfair and he really needs to evaluate things.

[Asker]

He says that he doesn't care if I am right, he will not upset his sister by choosing my side? Surely that in itself is choosing a side?

[LaceyG]

That is totally wrong, relations or not, she owes you money. Honestly if your bf can't see that, I wouldn't waste my time on it. It i only going to happen again in the future over something bigger and he will just side with her.

[lumos]

I take it you don't have any siblings.

[Asker]

I do actually, 4 of them.

[lumos]

Then you should know that the love you have for your siblings is 100% different from the love you have for a partner. Since they're so different, it's impossible to compare them. It's impossible to put one kind of love before another kind of love.
Yes, you're wrong for expecting him to "love you more" than his own sister. First off, he has known her for a much longer time than he has loved you. Second, she's his sister, and they seem to have been through a lot of shit together, which makes their bond even stronger. Third, they are literally related by blood. That kind of automatically makes her a priority.
You've only been with him for about a year, and you expect him to love you more than his own sister? Lmao.

[guy532]

Was going to comment, but your answer was spot on.

[cool-man]

Dear you are mixing two different relations, don't compare the two. I can understand your feeling, you are very sincere with your bf & you love a lot him, just put yourself into his position. how you reply?

[dev765]

Why do women try to compete with men's sisters and mothers so much lol?

[QueenofSilentFoxes]

I don't know. I don't know.

[bastuss]

Good point dude..

[Asker]

I have never competed. Yet, when it comes to sacrificing a relationship for his sisters (wrongful) happiness that's when the problems occur.

[donut94]

I dont, I consider that rude. Blood is thicker than water. I'm not going in between family ties. Uh uh. Family comes first and I'd totally understand if he loved his sister more than me. I'm just some random person he met in the street and she grew up with him (sister) or took care of him (mom).

[josesmaf]

I don't think it's about loving on more than another. It's about loving one differently from another. You can't compare the two.

[Klaatu51]

well i guess so LOL

[jmmmfi]

It's his sister