Why does my boyfriend put me down?

[lilninaxo]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months, lived together for almost all 4 and just recently moved into a new condo. I am 23 and he is 25. Up until about 2-3 weeks ago everything was perfect between us, but recently a new trait of his has come out. He has started to put me down in front of his buddies or talk to me like I'm stupid, ALWAYS has something to me about myself weather it's that im insecure, co-dependant, Whiney, needy, selfish, over emotional, over dramatic, spend to much time in the mirror or crying to much. Now, as a girl, I can fully admit that I definitly display those traits sometimes. But, he tells me all this like I am the absolute EXTREME of every single one of these things and that I do them ALL THE TIME. It's always blame blame blame now. When I get upset about something and cry... He never feels bad or has any compassion, instead gets mad at me for crying and yells at me. When I try to explain to him why I am feeling the way I'm feeling it's always the same response from him "it's always about you and your feelings!! Everything always has to be about you" or "you do this and that, your so this and that". Also, I have noticed that he has developed some little feeling of power over me because I always stick around so, weather he knows it or not, thinks he can do or say whatever to me.

One last thing to add, i don't have a car right now but he does and so if I piss him off during an argument he will just leave and tell me he doesn't want me coming anymore and that I have to stay home by myself, which he knows I don't like. And also, now, gives me ultimatums and like rules or something. Tonight we had an argument cause he shot a real low blow comment at me and I got upset, didn't cry was just so astounded and mad, eventually said I couldn't come now and what not then eventually says "okay you can come but if you f****** piss me off JUST ONCE... I'm turning around and dropping you off at home alone"... I miss how we used to be :(

Updates

+1 y

Why does he do this though? We will be having such a good day then suddenly it turns

Updates

+1 y

Might I also add that he has displayed some of these traits but I never call him out on them. The one that just gets under my skin is him ALWAYS saying I'm insecure, NO IM NOT!!! A little yeah but isn't everyone? In some form or another there's always some little thing in life or about yourself that you may be a little insecure about

[pr3ttybr0wn]

When I read that you have been dating for 4 months and living together almost as long, I cringed. Really?

Anyway ain't no way in hell you should let someone talk to you like that. No fucking way at all. Do not put up with it. Move out, break your lease do whatever you gotta do but get away from this guy. and next time do not jump so first into a serious relationship without taking the time to get to know each other

If you absolutely cannot break your lease (idk I never had a roommate I don't know how that shit works) then if you must live with each other and you cannot sublet, just live together as distant roommates who don't speak to each other. think of a cold unloving married couple who is just together for the kids. that's how you need to treat him if you cannot move until ur lease is up

[lilninaxo]

I know, I've been in 2 long term relationships and learned the hard way about the living together situation, in the beginning of this relationship I told him (his longest is 3 months, mine 3 years) I told him that living together is not easy and to give it thought.. I was a little hesitant but once we did we were both so happy... It's just such a shitty feeling thinking to yourself "okay I don't wanna annoy him today, I wonder if he will wanna hang out with me today" uhhh :S I look so fuvking weak it's gross. I just miss the guy I had for the last 3 months :( where did he go? And I just wanna try to do something to fix it instead of give up. I hate being single now, it's boring and lonely. I'm not interested in meaningless sex/hookups anymore and I want a family in a few years here.

[Anonymous]

That's why you don't move in with just some random guy you barely had a chance to get to know.
If you use your head, you already know how this is turning out if you stay, and you already know it'll only get worse.
Pack your shit, give him the key and leave. Just next time, give it a while before you just move in with a guy.

[lilninaxo]

I isn't barely know him, I've known hkm since I was in high school, we were never tight but he wasn't a total stranger when we got together. Originally we had planned to move in together as friends then it turned into this

[Opinion Owner]

Yea...

[Anonymous]

Leave cause he's obviously a complete bako who does not care about the way you feel. He needs to be taken down so why don't you start doing the same thing and then leave him and see what he does... he may come back wishing he never did those things.:)

[HadiandErmina]

If you depended on him highly for a while, he is now feeling fed up and has reached his limit. That explains why he's acting up now. Now, this is the thing... is it going to change? Haha don't count on it. It will only get worst. You should just leave him.

[lilninaxo]

I've kinda realized that that's what is going on so I've started to try and do my own thing like hang out with some friends and stuff and he seems to wanna be around me more when I do that... I want to try to resolve things before just leavin because I really do love him and up until recently we were fine and so in love... Almost every day someone was telling us how cute we are together or how much they love that were together and we are going to be together for a long time. I love when my guy is proud to show me off as his gf instead of being annoyed of his "insecure, high maintenance, self centred, over emotional girlfriend"... He says he's trying to give me a boost to help me but really when he calls me insecure all the time it makes me more insecure

[HadiandErmina]

Just continue to do your own thing. If its necessary hang out with him less. If you do this for a while he will notice and miss you more (which you have noticed) and you will see a difference but don't do it just for him, do it for yourself that way you can metaphorically speaking "spread your wings" that way he won't shove anything in your face.

[mufasa_9000]

Dump his sorry ass nobody should be treated like this especially by their "boyfriend". Honestly better you caught this now rather then when you had 2 kids, house payment and car payments. You deserve better. Whatever you do good luck.

[LouisianaFella]

Not to sound rude but you need to be a little more independent and quit relying on people. Oh by the way he's a Douchbag and you should discard him.

[TouchTheSky]

Just move on you're a beautiful girl be sure someone will give you the love you deserve.

[Anonymous]

He's no good for you. The abuse won't stop. Trust me, I know from experience.

[airborne226]

yeah. dump him. No-one needs that and no-one deserves to have to take it. Hold your head up and walk into a better life.

[lilninaxo]

I'm not really asking this question because I need a solution of what to do, I want some opinions of why he does this?

[Anonymous]

Have someone pick you up and leave

[lilninaxo]

We have a lease together I can't just up and leave. I wanna meet in the middle but it's like he doesn't listen

[Opinion Owner]

Yes you can. You move in with a family member or friend and you can take you part of the rent over every month until the lease ends. He should not be treating you like this at all. If you stay you're just keeping yourself in your own misery.

[jmmmfi]

Time to cut your loses