What the longest you pursued or waited for someone?

Question

Why did you wait around for them? How hard did you try to win them or win them back? Did it work out? What's the maximum amount you should wait to see if someone "comes around"?

LizTheWeirdKid · Accepted Answer

For me, the longest was a year but it felt like more. I liked him, and i later found out he had a girlfriend. We were coworkers and we would always talk and mess around (not sexually) at work. I thought he might have been interested, even though he had a girlfriend. He ended up finding a new job but i still looked forward to seeing him when he'd come and visit. I thought maybe it would be better for us if we didn't work together. I still had hope he might have been interested. A few weeks ago, i found out he broke up with his girlfriend so he is single. My coworkers tell me he wasn't happy with her anyway. he always complained about her. So he is single now. and he knows where i work. he has my number. he got it before he left.

I can take a hint. One of my guy friends/coworkers talked some sense into me one drunken night and made me see that there is no point to even continue on with this. I barely even see the guy. So i put 2 and 2 together and I can now see that I should have moved on long ago. I wasted my time. So no, it didn't work out. some coworkers still tell me to wait it out. he is an awkward guy and doesn't take hints. but i doubt he's that dumb to not see that i liked him. i'm over it. there's is no point of even doing this.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I waited for a year and a half; I tried everything I could to call him mine and he just never returned the feelings properly, until I was 'over' him. He's obsessed with me now; endlessly flirting and trying to win me over, but the truth is that he dated my best friend and my heart was broken for months. I'm still not completely over him, and it makes it harder as he won't stop trying to win me over, but I'm not going there again; I've wasted enough of my time on him.
It's not healthy to be so caught up on someone the way I was: don't spend your life hoping and praying for him/her to return the feelings. There's always a limit to how much time you should spend on a person, and you'll know when that time is.

Alexzktra · Accepted Answer

I waited like, 3 (?) years for this one girl & I sort've wished I waited a bit longer, cus the dudes I dated after were fucking terrible and really only numbing the pain of being a closet case as severe as I was. I jumped from guy to guy basically, having no real feelings for any of 'em, and they were horrible, absolutely horrible, in every way. & in August, I got out of a severely abusive relationship and I thought "why am I doing this? why do I let men, who I don't even like, walk all over me?" and I decided to embrace my lesbianism. :D

Shimmyshammy · Accepted Answer

4 years... he is finally coming around! We have had an attraction and sexual tension since the get go though. It was one of those refusals to admit feelings type of thing.

Your heart decides how long it should wait. It is not easy but if you feel strongly enough, it'll happen.

forgottenmonkey · Accepted Answer

Kind of in this game right now and I have been here before. I always take it like this I will stay loyal I will follow I will wait and I will not go looking. But if some how someone comes into my life and they are interested Im going to consider it. Im not going to shut out possibility if it comes along and it looks like someone I could really make something with but at the same time if Im willing to wait I probably think you are worth it because Im picky as hell. If you are worth it Im not going to go looking ill wait, Ill be content and single that is fine.

Urbantarzan · Accepted Answer

I developed feelings for a girl when her relationship was downhill. But she is with her bf now even if she said she had feelings for me. I have feelings for her now, but I don't think I will wait. I just don't think she will come to me. :-/ Trying to move on, but I really fell for her and I guess I shouldn't have. But it didn't seem like it was a thing I could control. Alas! Such is life. I wished her the best and said goodbye.

american_killjoy13 · Answer

I waited a good year and a half for a girl who I had dated for a while but then we broke up bc her mom found out (obviously she didn't want to beleive that her daughter was bisexual lol) But I held on for her and I thought she still liked me but this past summer when I told her that I still had feelings for her she pretty much told me that our relationship was a joke to her and to leave her alone. It honestly broke my heart and I almost killed myself over it. I gave my heart to a girl who didn't want it and it almost klled me.
I dont think people should wait for peole from past relationships bc they could end up in a situation like I did; when you find out tht the person doesn't have feelings for you

Lonegirl18 · Answer

5 years. We hung out, emailed, talked all the time. He hooked up with a girl that half th highschool has been with them he joined the military. haven't heard from him inn over a year :( I moved on though, if he doesn't want me y should I waste my time? I've since met aan amazing guy and we r getting serious.

MysteriousFlower · Answer

A year. I did try to find some-one else but didn't pursue, and we were always busy and having personal problems of our own. But things are settling down now and we are just about truly connecting.
If I felt like there was nothing great about this guy I wouldn't of waited. I am a patient person, so that helped the process!.

JackKerouac77 · Answer

17 years in the Appalachian wilderness. Then she came out of hibernation and we fell in love.

Account · Answer

I really want to answer this question but I don't at the same time. I will answer a small part of it.
"What's the maximum amount you should wait to see if someone "comes around"?"
There is no maximum amount of time. It's up to you and only you.

Betwyn · Answer

Hmm...

I caused a breakup with this guy a little more then 3 years ago.

Ever since, I've been hung up on him. sure.. I've dated other people.. but whenever I'd see him, it all rushed back..

I ran into him again, just after my birthday. I broke up the relationship I was in then, and started pursuing him actively..

While nothing is "official" I did spend Christmas with his family, and he came with me to see my mother.

So.. off and on.. 3 years.. and counting.

katiehalper · Answer

I waited for 5 years. we did date but fate took over I moved we only lasted q week and boom now we don't even talk. I'm still crushed. my birthday is coming up and I think he even forget it. take my edvise don't wait for guys or chase them it won't end well.

mjhutch · Answer

I've waited ten years for an ex gf. She got married but says he doesn't make her happy. I keep in contact with her still. So far she  hasn't  left him. Ill wait another twenty years. It depends what kind of bond u shared. I've never found someone that made me feel like she did. If u truly loved someone nothing else matters.

Worthy · Answer

Three years. Painful years of my life.. he chose another girl and is dating her
Last year I gave up and ended all contact but he still reaches out to me often.. which is weird. but I'm totally over him. I will never let someone have so much power over me. I was young. I'm 22 now and looking for the real thing because I deserve only the best

dE_logics · Answer

Wait while she gets fucked by someone else while I get no action?

Na... never.

The moment she rejects me, I loose all feelings for her and move on the next second.

Of course if she comes back, I'll like her again.

Anonymous · Answer

I pursued my current boyfriend for almost a year. He was so attractive and ugh just perfect. I was so nervous to talk to him and really make a move because he was older and popular. (I was a freshman) He noticed me and we had some moments together but with the help of mutual friends, we started talking more. It eventually lead to him asking me out and we've been happy ever since. (2 years & counting)

confused1966 · Answer

Depends on the person-Sim people are willing to wait years for that perfect person and others just kind of move on. Depends on the personality of the person who is doing the waiting and the person they are waiting on. Sometimes when people work on themselves they grow out of the dependency to try and win this person back and they move on. Sometimes people do matter how hard you try are going to feel the same way you do and it has nothing to do with you but it is hard not to take it personally.

Prettygurl12 · Answer

I have never waited for that. I waited 5 years to date my boyfriend but it was for our parents to come around to the idea, not him.

I know there's a guy waiting for me to come around though. He is a friend and told me on the day my current boyfriend asked me out that he was happy for me but that he would be there when it ended and "then we'd have our turn." I kind of feel bad because he's still waiting even though it's been over 3 years and my boyfriend and I intend to get married :p

TheWonderer · Answer

4+years and I would've waited longer if she didn't get engaged last month. Sad part is, I would totally drop everything and go if she called me right now to tell me her engagement ended.

manuelmanny · Answer

6 years when i was younger never again. There will always be another person even if they are so great you would marry them. Dont waste your time on someone that won't feel the same way about you

sleepqueen2 · Answer

we started out as friends with benefits. i really started to like him but ketp it to myself because it seemed just physical to him. I kept seeing him like this because it was an excuse to spend time with him, and although i knew i deserved better, i waited around for him. He started dating other girls and in between he would come back to me. Im now realizing that i can't accept that anymore because i still like him. That went on for years, Now, while he is with someone new, he tells me he has feelings for me and that he wanted us to be something... but im done waiting around even though a part of me still has feelings for him.

KafJ1996 · Answer

i chased after my fiancee for 7 years after having my so called best friend decide to go out with him and almost losing him to him staying with her but after a very long time i finally got to ask him out and he said yes and now were engaged

Anonymous · Answer

I pursued one girl for almost three years. I met her in high school and she flirted with me but wouldn't do anything beyond that. I let things rest during out first year of college, but I ran into her the summer after and we hooked up. It was worth the wait ;-)

LoveSlipstream · Answer

Depends on situation. If he has own personal stuff like school/ military duty were he doesn't want to date at that period then I'd wait for him. Other than that no longer than a few weeks of being interested.

ThatWeirdOne · Answer

I liked a guy for about a year or so even when he was single than got a girlfriend my heart was still on him and it was hard but once i told him my feelings i got over him and im so happy i did that otherwise i would of been bleh

Duke2014 · Answer

Almost 5 years now and still waiting and working on gettin back to her to see her again and be with her.

MartineVoisine · Answer

The longest I've waited fo a guy was 1 year. After one year, he still didn't want me. He's the only one I've waited that long for though. I don't want to lose my time anymore, so I don't wait that much anymore. I wait max 1 month now.

JohnScofield787 · Answer

1 year of pursuing... and yes it did. Have never done that before or sense.

lolajohnston · Answer

I've been "waiting" for a guy for three years now. We moved from people who barely know each other to close friends who made out once. Still waiting for things to become more serious, but it's quite possible they never will. Still can't give up though :(

Kamiz01 · Answer

It all differs from person to person and situation to situation. I've had one guy pursue me for 6 years and nothing happened. So time should not be a deciding factor, passion should.

Villainsandsaints · Answer

Never go back to an ex. They are an ex for a reason. Also remember that if they have managed to live without you for sooooo long, they are not exactly missing you. Wake up peeps

Horsermylife · Answer

I waited for a guy over a year and a half... never worked out. Learned to move on but leave the door open for people like him incase. Never burn the bridge, but you can walk away for it.

Prettykangaroos · Answer

Four years. Now we've been together for a year and a half. I don't know why I waited, I just had a feeling.

Stacyzee · Answer

I never wait for someone to come around. To me, that is unguaranteed. I could just be wasting my time.

TheWiseOwl · Answer

Two and a half years and no it never worked again and I vowed to never waste that much time on a girl, what a total waste of time.

Anonymous · Answer

I waited 2 months for him to "come around". Why did I wait? Because I was so in love with him and I couldn't imagine being without him. Good things come to those who wait, right? Thank God I did because he's my boyfriend now and I'm so happy! I wasn't willing to just give up, I would have waited forever for him and now he realizes that we're meant for each other. It's an amazing feeling!

JustinX9 · Answer

Almost two years... it didn't work out because i'm such a pussy

RationalMale · Answer

Close to two years... it would've paid off, but I was inexperienced, and messed it up.

batdev16 · Answer

Not too long. If you have to wait a long time, that most likely means they aren't sure about themselves (which would be bad in a relationship) or you are their back up, which is not cool.

LoveWreck · Answer

Its been a year and I am still waiting :) Lets hope when I express my feelings to her.. she would feel the same way

Dalelee · Answer

My best friend who is a girl I've waited 11 years and still waiting I've never held her hand or kissed her but she knows I've always liked her

Duryodhan · Answer

Well I've been trying on a friend of mine since past 3yrs, Sure I've dated other people and not too hung up on her... but it'd be nice to have her come around. So keep you options open and dont get fixated on one person.

BigHeartSmallBrain · Answer

It's been 4 years for me so far, and she still hasn't come around. I will wait my entire life for this girl. That doesn't mean I won't see anyone until she does, but it does mean that if she came around, I'd leave whoever I was with, whatever I was doing, and rush to her.

Anonymous · Answer

The longest I waited was two long years Maybe 3 and I still did not get the guy:(. When I moved on he wanted to be with me hahahaha too later now loser.

Anonymous · Answer

Still waiting, it's been a little over 10 months. I'm waiting because I love him. And because he needs to be alone R right now, it's whats best! I think you could wait as long as you think you can but try not to think about it.

Clothes_line_ · Answer

2 years and because at the time I thought I was in love with him. But he didn't even like me so it never worked out. And you should wait as long as you want to.

dazedandconfused22 · Answer

I've never pursued a guy who didn't seem interested or rejected me. I have however still liked him and thought about him but I would never let him know that. And it went on for 3 years.

ExpressiveGenie · Answer

A year at the most. No it didn't turn out well. I told him and he rejected me.

Anonymous · Answer

3 years... I waited for someone. then I left him because he got a gf and I found out he was stringing me along as rebound. :( but it was a good lesson as it taught me to value myself more than that.

youngrasshoper · Answer

1 1/2 years... always texted him first when in reality he was never interested

Anonymous · Answer

5 years and counting. And now that he knows this, he thinks its ok to call me up whenever he feels like it because I'll always be available to him. Smh. If only we could choose who we love...

snowangle · Answer

Six months, but it felt like 10 years. It was worth it, though. :)

Rogue2 · Answer

A long time. But recently? Maybe two or three months before I said to hell with it. Don't think she'll ever come around much less realize what she had.

RedThread · Answer

Not long. If someone doesn't want me then there are other women I'm sure would love to have me.

thatgirlwavy · Answer

I liked my crush for 4 years but i finally decided to tell them my senior year which was last year smdh 😒😒😒. Never again!!

stevephillips706 · Answer

Since I was 8 years old I was in love with her I got her when I was 19

notmama546 · Answer

as long as it takes until u can admit its never happening or till it does; as long as it takes to find out

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Too damn long. Fell in love with best friend and it didn't work out. She and I have since gone our separate ways.

Anonymous · Answer

I waited 4 years for someone (my ex) to come around. Stupid, I know! But I got over him and now (2 years later) I'm with someone that treats me well!

Marinepilot · Answer

For sex no more than one month. If you feel a relationship might happen , no more than six months. If it's not happening at the end of these times, move on.

sdsdilan · Answer

2 years but he definitely doesn't know I was in love with him

Tomsta · Answer

Secretly still waiting for them (even though i know it'll never happen) It's been 3 years and i do it cos to me she is my perfect girl, real wife material

Phoenix98 · Answer

Year and a half, I wouldn't pursue anyone any longer then that.

Fancy_burger · Answer

3 years. Now we don't even know each other anymore..

JJackson36 · Answer

Well, still waiting for my moment, but it's been around nine months. I don't really know why I'm waiting, it just feels.. right.

What the longest you pursued or waited for someone?

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Were you the type of person that waited all year to get the nerves to talk to your crush or did you make it known and heavily pursued them?

What the longest you pursued or waited for someone?

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Were you the type of person that waited all year to get the nerves to talk to your crush or did you make it known and heavily pursued them?

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