My wife has told me she wants a divorce, but everything is the same..without the sex? Should I stay or go?.

[jerbaldi]

We still sleep in the same bed. We hang out. NOTHING has changed, except, we don't say "I love you" at the end of a conversation, NO SEX...and "some" distance between us. We have been married for 9 years, so, sex has become distant anyway but, none now. She wanted to "Do IT" several weeks ago but we were both drinking. This is where the problem started in the first place...so , naturally I want her to see I am a good guy, I said "NO". She found this upsetting and made her think I am fooling around. I AM NOT. I was drunk and she don't like when I drink. I said NO...Why would a woman do this?

then she said when we were sober that it was quote/unquote..."ONE HAND WASHING THE OTHER". WTF?

HELP PLEASE...WHATS HAPPENING? STAY OR GO?

[nymphoman]

Hmm, might just be a rocky patch in the annoying road called marriage, believe me I have had more rocks than a stoning party and this has only been 5 years.

It seems you are trying to fix a few fences and make a difference so that shows YOU are willing to save the marriage, the question is does she want it saving, My guess is yes but is just tired of how things are lately.

You mentioned the drinking, she doesn't like it, in my experierience the best thing to do to not only save your marriage, make your wife fall in love again and even give yourself a big boost is to have an image and attitude shift.

Stop the drinking, hell knock smoking on the head if you do, have a hair cut, have a shave and go on a diet if needed, get yourself a new boost of life into you and show her the new you and don't look back, she will be swept off her feet and won't have chance to keep up.

Women like excitement and she didn't marry you as you are now so give her back what she agreed to, she will follow suit and you will feel great.

All positive, all good moves and in the long run will just give you a healthier, spicier and stronger relationship.

Sounds corny, sounds too much but it works.

She will be sceptical at first, stick with it and don't revert back, think positive, be positive and confident and if she still don't want it, then you will be a catch for the ladies and can enjoy life a little.

Just sounds like your both too settled into routine and boredom is taking over.

Add a little spontaneity and you will be giving yourself a great confidence boost and improving yourself in the longrun too.

Win + win.

[toona]

Totally agree. Love is a fight. Neverending fight. It is stupid to think that feelings are granted for free. Women are different, the and 1 erogenous zone on the woman's body is her brain!

[Anikaj]

Hey man that's all up to you right there and especially in a situation like this. You are suppose to be in it for better or for worst so its extremely different than a regular relationship. Take a minute and chill and think about all the time you spent with her and if you'd be ok if you weren't together anymore or how you'd feel if she wuz wit sumone other than you. if your feelings are strong then you know what you have to do

[jerbaldi]

Good point...THANK YOU...I know where I am but regardless..what to do if I want it, and this was'nt a woman "mind trick"?

[Anikaj]

Well where is your head? if your feelings aren't strong anymore then agree with her and find sumwhere to start so you can get away from her but if you still love her, fight your ass off to keep her

[livelaughlove09]

Sounds like all yor guys need to do is really talk and then make sweet passionate love.tee hee...seriously she may be bored with the relationship. sometimes the best relationships go sour because no aspect of it changes but the people in them do. You guys really need to rediscover eachother.I know you may think you haven't changed, but in nine years everyone changes whether you notice it or not. You guys really need a good hard discussion, and maybe counseling...Don't give up! I can tell you still love her so don't let it go! Fight for it. Best of Luck.

[jerbaldi]

I do still love her VERY MUCH!!! As far as bored goes. I am a musician...Always looking for new stuff to do...I hate "stale bread". but your right. 9 years does consist of changes...THANK YOU for your help

[rockmom]

you both let distance come between you and the sex stopped, creating more distance. this incident was just the opportunity for her to express her feelings of discontent. you're just now dealing with the problems and hopefully its not too late. you can't make up for time lost tho. you can't just promise to do better or be whatever and expect it to fix everything. professional help, maybe.