If you are developing feelings for someone BUT their physical appearance isn't what you want, would you ignore the physical part? (Page 2)
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I would not date a guy if I did not feel even a tiny bit of physical attraction. I'm not saying that he should be model like, six pack real sexy, but there are certain things that attract me to a guy, his hairstyle (no hair,not my type), nice eyes, skin and smile, with nice teeth. Not a guy that is plump though.
To answer your question yes for most people I would say that physical attraction needs to be there. That is very shallow though, but it is how most humans function. Yes, his personality might be awesome that is what would probably make the relationship last, but are you willing to sacrifice the physical bit, I wouldn't overlook it.
+1.. it really doesn't matter if people see it as shallow or something else.. in the end, that's the truth and that's how people function.. but it also has to do with the culture and country your from.. but that's a whole other article.. for some other time.
if you're developing feelings for a guy, and his looks aren't getting in the way of that, then don't try and discourage your feelings because he's not got the body you've been dreaming of. you should't be like, "aw, I really like him...but he's kinda chubby!" eventually you start to hone in on what you like about them and those good traits far out weigh the ones that aren't so lovely. focus on what is attractive about him and you'll be able to overlook the little flaws.
Yes and after a while when your feelings get deeper you won't even notice, for e.g. my crush wear's glasses now I don't mind glasses however when I'm looking at him I can't even see his glasses just his eye's :)
I think personality makes even the most not good looking girls out there look just a little bit more good looking. While a really good looking girl with a bad personality is ugly. Girls with a good personality smile a lot and have these really friendly eyes that just make them look better. GIrls with bad personalities will look angry a lot and be mad or sad and moping around and that's unattractive. My point is that if you are a really nice outgoing person it increases attraction towards you.
The thing is...if I think a guy is O.K looking but his personaity is magnetic then I'll fancy him more than any 'hot' guy..., in fact that's the case with a number of guys that I have crushed on, I think they're 'cute' or fairly average looking, but its something about the persona behind their looks that makes me want them I don't really know if that's how most guys think though...
Also....as some have said, I feel like those two things work in tandem, i.e. a person as a whole isn't just their looks, I notice evenrything, the way they talk, the way they move what they say, how funny they are...so when I notice a guy its not just looks I notice, its body language and everything, and that's what to me determines whetehr he's attractive or not, his looks and chracter to me are intertwined when I 'view' him...
I voted yes because the fact that I've developed feelings for them means I'm already looking past it. You have to do that before feelings CAN develop. Looking past the looks is step 1. If I'm at step 2, that must means I'm already past step 1, right?
I thought about this a while and eventually voted no. I would be inclined to vote yes; because, if I had feelings for someone, I'd follow through on those feelings. However, I'd never have romantic feelings for someone who I found physically unattractive. I really don't believe anyone who claims to love someone they find physically unattractive.
A hot 10 is not necessarily the girl I would choose as a girlfriend, but I couldn't have a long term relationship with someone I found unattractive.
Yep I agree. when you say not the body you wanted that does not mean he is unattractive to you over wise you would not have started to crush on him :)
it depends how bad they look. like if they're only average looking but have wicked personality, then maybe. but if they're just really ugly then no. I don't think its a great idea to compromise a lot on looks though because you do have to be attracted to them physically in order to go out with them too. so don't settle too much! only like a little bit if you REALLY must. I think everyone should try getting both. if you like him now, id give it a shot. I'm not vain but I've gone out with a fair few not great looking guys in my time because I've ignored the looks part-so looks ARE important! Like if you're embarrassed to introduce him to your friends, then that's a big warning sign right there that you can do way better.
I would ignore the physical part, certainly.
...Because the physicality loses its importance soon enough, even if he was a Supermodel. The scorching sexual element fades, and once it doesn, you'd better be left with your best friend in all the world. That's where fulfillment lies in the long run. No question.
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"you'd better be left with your best friend in all the world. That's where fulfillment lies in the long run. "
Thanks. That's how it happened for me. I found myself attracted to a woman I wouldn't fantasize about in a million years. But I couldn't live without her in my life. That was when I realized I was growing up.
Go pull out pictures of your parents when they were YOUR age... Then compare them to now. Then look at your grandparents... Think they always looked like that?
If you base your relationships mostly on physical appearance in a couple of decades when gravity, stress and work have taken their toll on you and your spouse... you too will end up very unhappy.
Find something a bit more lasting and more substantial than outward beauty to hang your lifes hopes on.
When my boyfriend asked me out, I didn't really think he was uber hot or anything. I mean, he wasn't bad looking, just not my type. But after a few dates, I realized how sweet and funny and perfect for me he was that I actually became very attracted to him. It wasn't that looks didn't matter but my opinions on his looks changed.
Not sure the question is realistic. I think that as develop feelings for someone, that includes sexual feelings. People I like become more sexually attractive the more I like them. This has little to do with their physical characteristics than with whom I find them to be. Body types get original attention but it takes being a real person to perpetuate that interest.
Well as a girl, I would ignore the physical part, as girls tend to fall for guys who can sweet talk and make them feel comfortable and everything, but still, it depends till which level does the physical appearance affects the relationship if you and him were to get together. well, you can give the fella a makeover too. haha. well guys normally do care about their girls physical appearance especially their body. If you are really falling for this person and don't mind about the fella's appearance then go for it.
A. because looks fade and if their personality is there forever ^.^ you can stare at someone only for so long but to be able to sit with them and have a wonderful conversation is priceless
I'll be honest with you, I must be physically attracted to the person. It's the hook, but the personality is the bait that keeps me to the person. I've never been attracted to a girl just based on their personality. Not to be mean, but most people are wired like that.
yes... even if it isn't the physical type I wanted ...because this is what we call it true love...uncoditionally love...that we can sacrefice with our needs to please the one we developing a feeling of love towards him/her .. because if we think deeply , we will find that the one we love , "really love" , has many mistakes whether they are in his/her look,manner,personality,... we find ourselves disregard them "the mistakes", and waiting for the moment when we " lovers" could be together... because love is blind...and if it is atrue love it would be blind forever... because it is not fair to love or accept someone because of his/her "LOOK" i.e the physical part... There is no parts in love ...love is one word with one feeling , belief...
Thank you, rudybooty for such a question ...it is great...
You can only ignore the physical part for so long. Lets face it. If your not attracted, your not attracted! I have done the whole, give the guy a shot even if I'm not attracted per se, and it has never ended well.
Of course this is only in my experience!
It depends on weather or not I was attracted to them at all, I have a healthy respect for the need for a sexual aspect of a relationship as well as the mental. I don't think I could develop those kinds of feelings for someone I wasn't attracted to physically on some level. That being said, personality tends to have more pull than physical appearance.
Because at the end of the day, physical features will wear down, but personallity is forever. so who cares what they look like? It may not be what you dreamed of being the love your lofe physically, but if he has that special spark in his personallity then why even ask! Take him!
It someone makes you happy then it doesn't matter there physical appearance, unless it is something you are unable to handle socially or personally. Most times I feel I have a type that falls into a physical category but if you got the chance to know the guy it doesn't matter
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Good question: If the girl is really funny and charming and intelligent and caring, like she blows me away with those characteristics then sure, I am willing to ignore the physical part...I've done it before and never regretted it (a chubby girl whom I fell in love with and another time a 6'1" amazon girl whom I fell in love with).