Am I being insecure, or is he being disrespectful? & what is your opinion on checking out girls/guys in FRONT of your gf/bf?

[Anonymous]

I got fed up with my boyfriend and brought up how he would check out other girls and my friends in front of me,,, i know i should be more secure with myself. but what bugged me is, the days he would check them out, he wouldn't tell me i looked beautiful. And when i would bring that up he would lie and say but i did call u beautiful today, you just didn't hear. I know he obv thinks im stunning, and he makes me feel beautiful and loved ALL THE TIME. my issue is he gets so worked up when i bring up these issues to him.. note that I've brought them up 3 or 4 times in the course of 6 months., which in my eyes isn't as often as most people would bring it up... and then he flips it and makes it about HIM and says i stress him out and im doubting his interest in me, when really im just trying to let him know that its DISRESPECTFUL. its not even that im being so insecure about it, but its plain rude to check out other girls. I would never check out another guy or tell my boyfriend i think someone else is attractive bc in my eyes i seriously view my boyfriend to be super handsome and dont note other people around him... im not LOOKING for hot guys.. I obv appreciate all the times he says im beautiful and so on. but my issue is one of disrespect. I've communicated this to him time and time again. however he is still convinced that im just being insecure and doubting him. and now he wants to go on a break with me over this. People, is this relationship worth it? am i in the wrong or is he, or are we BOTH wrong..

[toocomplicatedforyou]

I would lay down the law. Tell him "I don't want you checking out girls in front of me. Period" everyone checks out other people whether they're in a relationship so it's unreasonable to try and control that but he is being disrespectful by blatantly doing it in front of you. I would sit him down and talk about it so he understands how it makes you feel and if he doesn't stop just end it. The relationship sounds like it's causing you a lot of stress anyway.

[Asker]

Yeah, the fact that he wants to go on a break over this issue is mind blowing.. this is a small matter to me that can easily be fixed... its like if he can't handle me right now when im not even at my worst.. this is nothing by the way... then he doesn't deserve me at my best.

[toocomplicatedforyou]

you're completely right, I say you're better off without him. "being a guy" isn't an excuse to act like an asshole. He obviously knows it makes you uncomfortable, so he should've stopped but he didn't so his loss.

[Asker]

Thank you so much!!! :)

[kclark30]

In my opinion, not worth it. There are so many other guys out there who will only have eyes for you and respect you. Perhaps distance yourself a little bit from him and with time he may realize he needs to behave differently.

[Succcesssfulll]

I think he's wrong, I'd feel bad if my guy looked at other women but, not me like that.

[Asker]

Exactly!! I think the guys on here really need to understand the way womens brains work.. it is plain rude to checkout other girls!!

[Anonymous]

Congratulations, your boyfriend is not gay!
All guys do this, some are just better at hiding it than others.

As for the arguments.. well that's a separate issue.

[Asker]

you don't find it rude if your girlfriend contastly says to you how she thinks your friend is hot

[Opinion Owner]

That wouldn't happen because girls aren't guys. But if she did then I would not be bothered. I know we love each other, and I know she isn't gay.

[Asker]

okay... then why does my boyfriend feel the need to lie and say he called me beautiful when he didn't.. its like he feels guilty or something

[Opinion Owner]

Because you make a big deal out of it.

[hypno-trip]

I understand your point I wouldn't check out other girls in front of my girlfriend or even behind her back...

[Asker]

Right? the worse part is.. he calls other girls his type of girl, and says im outside of his usual type... i feel like sometimes he says these things to make me mad or jealous.. and not to be conceited or anything but A LOT of people tell me im way out of his league

[hypno-trip]

I think you are being reasonable he does ny seem respectful at all

[foxloversi]

You're being insecure. I check out other girls in front of my girlfriend and we both comment on them. She also does it with guys and I see no problem in this behaviour at all.