My boyfriend is going on holiday with another girl! Am I overreacting?

Question

I don't know if I am just being a typical, jealous girlfriend and I should just chill the F out or if it sounds like I should be pissed off? Guys and gals, please give me you 100% honest opinion!

So basically my boyfriend is going away on holiday with a girl I really don't like nor trust! She has a reputation for sleeping around and does not care who she sleeps with! I have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years and he has reassured me that nothing will happen. I want to believe him because he has never given me a reason to feel like he is messing me about in the past. I guess the fact that he is away travelling with her and his friends before me, kinda makes me feel a little shitty.
 
 I know when he drinks or pops the odd cheeky one on an occasional night out, that he gets extra flirty and touchy-feely with me but it would break my heart if I found out he had even touched another girl the way touches me.

I'm just really confused and a bit jealous that I am being left at home and he's away travelling with his guys mates and that girl! I keep telling myself that he would think of me and not do anything but what if things just got a bit too carried away, anything can happen in the spur of the moment right? 

please guys just give me your honest opinions, I can take it. I want to know if I am just being a bitch or if it's just normal to feel this way? 

Thanks!

Setsu · Accepted Answer

I suppose the possibility exists that he *might* be faithful while on holiday, but the only reason I can even conceive of it is because he has all his buds along and I know that *I* wouldn't want to bring a cloud of witnesses with me on my mischief, let alone share a woman with them. Then again, I wouldn't even create that kind of scenario in the first place and wherever there is drinking in mixed company, infidelity is always possible. Alcohol impairs judgment. The only legitimate reason not to bring you along on a trip like this one is if he's practicing abstinence and judging by what I can glean around the edges, I very much doubt that he is. Methinks I hear a Tiger Woods Alarm sounding in the distance.

At any rate, whether or not he stays faithful on this trip, it was still extremely inconsiderate of him to put you in this position. If I were you, I would have bit down hard on that suspicious arrangement the minute it left his mouth and hung on like a pit bull until he made his plans perfectly transparent at the very least. The short version: he has a *lot* of explaining to do.

Red_Arrow · Accepted Answer

I would trust him till he decided to go on vacation with another gal instead of you. Oh, wait. That is exactly what happened. He can get flirty, he will drink, he will be in a great mood, and she has sex with guys pretty easily. figure it is going to happen and he must know it and be okay with it. So now it is up to you whether to accept that.

happypuppet · Accepted Answer

I would probably be totally jealous. I often do when my boyfriend goes to see this girl and stays at her place for hours. But I know him and I trust him that he wouldn't do anything.
I think it is normal to get a little jealous. I guess it is absolutely normal. You shouldn't show your jealousy too much though. Because no matter how sweet and loving your boyfriend is, if you will make him jealous scenes because of this without any proof, you will drive him away.

My question is, why are you not going with him?

Anyway. Either you do trust your boyfriend or you don't. Just sit down in a quiet place and think about it. Two years is long enough to know if he is capable of doing something like this. Unless he is a jerk, or your relationship is not strong, I think everything is gonna be fine. And if he is a jerk, you shouldn't be with him in the first place.

kaeches · Accepted Answer

If you've always trusted him these past two years, you should continue to trust him. It's the girl you should worry about and clearly he knows you're worried and has said nothing will happen. If he's a good guy, your relationship will be fine. You say that when he drinks he gets extra touchy feely and flirty with YOU. That doesn't mean he will be the same with other girls. Just because that other girl doesn't care if she sleeps with another girl's boyfriend, doesn't mean your boyfriend won't care about sleeping with anyone but you. Have a little faith. I know it's worrisome, my boyfriend goes to parties with other girls. But I know he doesn't want to be with anyone but me. If you've never had a reason to doubt his faithfulness, you shouldn't worry about it faltering now.

PrincessTashaaaa · Accepted Answer

Dump him. If that girl is a slut, then him and his boys should have no worries telling her she can't come. Why does she get to be the only girl who goes, anyway. Why can't you go? Tell him if she's going, he isn't. If he breaks up with you over than, then good riddance.

Anonymous · Answer

this is a tough one, on one hand id trust him in your position because no matter how slutty the other person is its up to the boyfriend to say no and i would trust someone I've been with for 2 years to say no.

on the other hand why hasn't he invited you to go along with him? why is just that one girl going instead? (again though she could have been invited by one of his mates and not him), i dont really like lads holidays when one guy is in a relationship because they tend to egg each other on and say dumb shit like what goes on in... stays in... or what she doesn't know won't hurt her which is fine when someones sober and says no but if someones high and drunk they might just cave

Zamac · Answer

It is normal to be jealous in this case. The golden question is: why are you not going together with him?

If it was only the two of them, I'd say: "dump him right now". But as it is a sort of group of friends vacation time, it is less troublesome.

You could try the reflexive exercise: were you doing the same, would he mind that much and be jealous?

Anyway, as @josesmaf said, "After two years, he can do better than that."

Mariecalo87 · Answer

If I am you I will react the same thing. But why he never invite you instead that is so werid? I felt so jealous and angry too. You need to tell him and invite you to when he travels and tell him. If this girl is single really need to be careful of this person.

Maverickj · Answer

The question is, how long have you been together? And are you two official?

In any case, why the hell is he going on a holiday, without his girlfriend? Sounds a bit strange to me, you have every right to be concerned.

It depends on how long you've been together. If you've been with him for at least a month, then you should definitely be worried.

Anonymous · Answer

It is normal to feel a bit jealous. However, if your boyfriend of so many years has never given cause to doubt or distrust him, I would trust him to do the right thing. The girl may or may not try something, but I hope he says no. You want to trust your partner, otherwise it spirals and doesn't end well usually.

singlebee · Answer

The thing if he may not know she is a slutty girl or maybe he knows... But if he hasn't given you any reason to mistrust him then you should trust him...

He maybe just taking her cause she might be good friend with the other guys he is going with?

He mey or may not cheat on you... But your digit definitely express your concern with that... But you will definitely come in as controlling in this case...

ameliajp · Answer

there will be other guys there too so even if she gets frisky one night she has the others to fall back on. i'd be nervous if it were just him and just her.

linkywinky · Answer

"Anything can happen in the spur of the moment, right?"  You're already making excuses for him which is no-good. If you don't trust him then why are you even with him?

madhatters4 · Answer

if you trust him and since it's not just him and this girl but a larger group you should trust him... yes it's normal to feel jealous though

Prettygurl12 · Answer

Well... my boyfriend had a girlfriend when he went on vacation and met me... and now he's mine so... No harm in expressing your concerns to him.

lusciousB · Answer

It seems pretty obvious what's going on dear. So are you okay with it?

Anonymous · Answer

Uhm no. That's not right. Why is he taking another girl out during a HOLIDAY and going on a vacation with her? No no no. Plus she has a reputation like that? It's dosent have anything to do with you trusting him or not. Even if he dosent do anything why isn't he taking you? You're his girlfriend for 2 YEARS. Is he crazy?

Anonymous · Answer

Question is, he's going on vacation with some other girl, and not his own girlfriend of two years, wtf

Vmendez · Answer

He should’ve invited you! It’s not like they both went on a for a serious purpose or anything. They went on a holiday for a getaway I’m guessing so he should’ve invited you. Like cmon you’re his girlfriend

JohnDoe23 · Answer

Why are you not going? You have the right to be pissed off. This doesn't sound good.

PG1997 · Answer

Since it's a group I say give him the benefit of the doubt.

Anonymous · Answer

He's just gonna do the same thing that you do (with your guy friends). So I wouldn't worry about it too much. It's just a little blowjob.

Rcjh1987 · Answer

express your concern with him.

zombiebabe · Answer

i voted A!! its totally normal to feel this way

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