How do I tell him to get his shit together nicely?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriends been being a rea douche lately, and I'm trying to be the bigger person and keep calm. I'm constantly asking him what's wrong, trying to reassure him show him love yada yada but all I get back is him being a dick. I fee my self sooner or later hitting a breaking point and not giving to fucks and being just as pissy to him as he is to me , but I find that petty and don't want to create more issues. So how do I kindly tell him he needs to stop being a dick to me when I'm only trying to help him out cause it's pissing me off and I'm not gonna take his shit anymore?

[Anonymous]

tell him exactly that without all the swearing:

"Hey [insert name here] to be honest, I'm a little tired of you being such a dick to me lately, I don't want to make a scene or create more issues, but you're actually starting to piss me off. So can you please either tell me what's going on or calm yourself? I'd really appreciate it."

If he answers in a douchey way again, just don't reply and don't talk to him for a few days. Let's see what he does...

[AGELICATHECONFUSED]

Could you be more specific , like , what is he doing that's bothering you so much? Is it like emotionally or physical?

[Asker]

Emotionally. Just shutting me down or being really sarcastic when I'm just trying to be helpful.

[AGELICATHECONFUSED]

I understand what you are going through. If you feel truly unhappy about it or you feel like he is putting you down too much you should sit down and have a talk with him. Tell him that you think he's being disrespectful to you , and remind him that Your trying really hard. If he is acting extremely awful towards you , you might have to consider cheating. When men are acting differently and being sarcastic towards their lady , sometimes they are cheating. If it continues going on , I don't think you should continue the relationship because it sounds like it's putting you down. Just , try to get through it slowly. Also , is there anything major that has happened to him recently , like maybe a death in the family , or is he hanging out with friends a lot more than often?

[Asker]

Been there done that. Worked through it though. I don't think he would do it again but I don't really know. I'm mostly hoping it's not something where he has stopped loving me again or something like that. I'd honestly just leave if it was that again. We are supposed to celebrate our anniversary Saturday but now I don't really even know if that's gonna happen. But I already paid for a nice little hotel stay & I can't cance it. So it's just a lot of disappoint for me. I don't know what to do

[AGELICATHECONFUSED]

I think that you should give it one last kick, try something he really likes , ask him if there's anything he's mad about , or if there's anything you could do for him. As for the hotel , I think that you should celebrate the anniversary instead of just throwing it away. I don't think he's stopped loving , but some guys just confuse love and lust. If he is cheating , then its prob not a full blown relationship but just for lust. If it truly bothers you , I think you should just move on , I've been in that position and I know it doesn't feel good either. I truly hope this helps.

[Asker]

Lust or full blown relationship , cheating especially twice is a betrayal I'm not going to deal with. Yeah kind of. I'm trying to be the bigger person but I hate having to fix things I didn't mess up. It bothers me that he's the one that messes up and I'm the one that always has to come back and fix it. I hate that. But I'm probably just upset rn. I probably just needed to vent. Thank you for listening

[AGELICATHECONFUSED]

No problem! If you have anything else you need help with I'm here !

[Asker]

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

My advice is not to be nice about it be as brutal as possible as it will have a much better effect

[Asker]

How so? Couldn't he just get all defensive?

[TheBag]

Dear Asker, This is very likely a troll.

[Asker]

@TheBag true

[Opinion Owner]

Yes he could and you just need to have stronger facts but after the fight he will thing about it and it will lead to a discussion and he will pull his shit together it worked on me

[WalterRadio]

Easy. Don't ever see him, talk to him, or text him again.

[Asker]

Why do that if I'm trying to reconcile the relationship and not end it?

[WalterRadio]

If you two were going to have the kind of relationship that is going to last forever, you wouldn't be having these problems. Therefore, your relationship will not last, and if you are dumb enough to try, you may bring kids into the mess you have.

Find someone else.