Am I still a gold digger, even if I feel guilty when he spends money on me?

Question

I'm in a relationship. He's a great guy--intelligent, respectful, trusting, protecting, and determined. He has a great job. His internship pays him $14 an hour. My boyfriend likes to pay for my meals when we go out. I have a job too and make $10.20 an hour. *Note, I was with him BEFORE he worked at all, but our relationship was boring because I had to pay for him--which he didn't like, so we rarely went anywhere!!* Also, I had my current job when we met!! 

 I feel strange just accepting this free food. He told me not to feel like I owe him anything, when he pays. A few days ago I treated him out to Asian food. I just felt so awful since he paid for me about 4 times prior. Here is the catch... I paid for my own stuff BEFORE he got this job. Since I feel guilty and love him as a person, am I still a gold-digger? How do I stop feeling guilty when he spends money on me? HELP!

Bobba_Fett · Accepted Answer

Honestly, I came here to blast a gold digger. I hate em.
But you're not a gold digger.

If you really feel that bad for it, reciprocate in other less monetary ways.
Bake him little treats, back rubs, whatever you like to do for him.

You feel guilty because you feel like you're not holding up your end of the relationship agreement. But part of that agreement is that you two are partners, and one person will always be stronger in one area then the other. You'll feel less guilty when you see that you give too.

Example: You may not got it in the bank, but he couldn't sew a button on to save his life. So he buys the button and you sew it on. And the duvet is saved.
As crappy as that example is, you can see the contributions are equal to the success of the goal.

Aizou · Accepted Answer

I don't see where the "gold-digging" part comes in. Being a gold-digger means you're only with him for his money, and more than likely leave him, if he were to lose said money.

BuchitaBuchys · Accepted Answer

That's not gold digging lol
But you should offer to split the bill more often.

I know my exes hated that. Like wtf? I made slightly more money than them, and they'd still be like "no, I'm the man, I'll pay."
I remember with my recent ex, I had FINALLY convinced him to let me pay, then the old lady waitress goes to him and gives him the check. And asks "how will you be paying honey?" And he got all embarrassed. And got mad at me in the car "do you know how bad that made me look? Wtf man."

But eventually I got him to continue letting me pay and he didn't care about the awkward stares.

samhradh_leannan · Accepted Answer

Letting someone spend money on you when they want to doesn't make you a gold digger. Being a gold digger means intentionally seeking situations where money will be spent on you/ choosing people based on how much money they have. However, if you feel uncomfortable allowing him to pay for your meals, tell him that and explain that you'd prefer to pay for yourself more often.

Relentless_Hippie · Accepted Answer

I don't think you know what a gold digger actually is. A gold digger is with a man solely for his money.

Just because he enjoys treating his woman like she's actually his woman doesn't mean you're a gold digger.

Jehovahkiin · Accepted Answer

Intention matters.
If you're going out of your way to manipulate him and get him to spend some money of you, you'd fit the definition of one. However from what you said, it doesn't seem to be the case at all.

Fearless_banana · Answer

You can't gold dig off of a man that makes $14 an hour lmao

wankiam · Answer

you know it can be a genuine pleasure for a guy to pay for everything... especially if you suck his dick. seriously though, maybe he is old fashioned like that and likes to feel he is the man so unless you really think he has a hidden agenda, then accept his generousity or you will offend him

Baumber · Answer

You're not a gold digger! It's normal for a boyfriend to pay for every/most dates. Since you're worried about being a gold digger... you are DEFINITELY not a gold digger!!! $14 an hour isn't a whole lot of money, but it's good for our age. Even when he's an engineer, you will still not be a gold digger because you love him for who he is... NOT FOR HIS MONEY!

To sum it all up... you're not a gold digger! So, get the thought of it out of your mind!!

waterlaz · Answer

lol, no, no you are not :D
You mention that you used to pay for him before he got a job.
Since you feel guilty now when he pays, you can probably imagine how he felt when you paid.
Bake him a cake or make him a sweater if you want to, but I don't really see a problem here :)

Thrifty · Answer

There is a quote that goes...

A girl who has never been in love requires a life of luxury but each diamond is never enough; conversely, a girl who is in love with a man would sleep on the streets beside him.

The guy version is: A man who loves a woman for her face or body will will seek after many women yet never be satisfied but a man who loves a woman for her soul will only love one woman.

Frost_Byt3 · Answer

If you were a gold digger, you wouldn't be seen DEAD with a guy who only makes $14 an hour, especially if he wasn't even employed when you met.

Bandit74 · Answer

No, a gold digger is a girl who dates a guy primarily for his momey and what he buys her.

You were with him when he couldn't afford anything and dont currently expect him to buy you everything.

Also most real gold diggers wouldn't feel guilty or waste their time on a guy who only makes $14/hr.

Hopefuldreamer8 · Answer

A gold digger is someone who is with a guy for his money. It's a woman who wants to sit around and do nothing all day while a guy spends all his hard earned money on her. You're not a gold digger. Gold diggers expect guys just to spoil them while they give nothing in return. They think that just because they're beautiful that guys should be grateful their with them, and so they should spend their money on them.

posted · Answer

Lol you're so guilty about free food I love it. If it bugs you that much you could probably make him let you pay every now and then.

Gold diggers are vile pieces of shit that date someome soley because of their money and try to get as much free shit as possible.

Doesn't sound like you're a gold digger.

Sovereignty · Answer

A gold digger is someone who dates/sleeps/marries someone for money and/or status. Since you are with him for nether reason that means you're not a gold digger.

desidoll · Answer

He's a gentleman and no you aren't a gold digger. You're already with him when he was unemployed. A gold digger is a woman who only seeks for rich dudes to support her from up to toe.

oldanddecrepid · Answer

You are not a gold digger, if he buys things for you. If you were asking for things all the time... then maybe.

LittleMissCuriousity · Answer

A gold digger seeks someone out because they have money. You aren't a gold digger.

LaVilaine · Answer

You're not with him because of his money and him spending money on you makes you uncomfortable. I don't think you could be termed a gold digger by any stretch of the imagination.

99percentangel · Answer

No, of course not you love him and you were with him before he had his job. If he really wants to pay for stuff for you let him.

Luvme66 · Answer

you are stupid... he loves you god dammit... and that's why he gives more than he takes

Flow_like_the_wind · Answer

No you're you not. You we're even with him before he worked. A gold digger would never accept a man like that.

shadowlegend · Answer

No. A gold-digger is a woman who dates a guy just for his wealth and dumps him when he stops providing or paying for her.

jakeofalltrades · Answer

your not a gold digger. a gold digger would have been with him before his high paying job. a gold digger wouldn't feel guilty about it, a gold digger would get mad if he didn't pay for her, and more expensive stuff than just food

Luminifera · Answer

baby no, you're not a gold digger! don't worry about it! no need to feel guilty.

Am I still a gold digger, even if I feel guilty when he spends money on me?

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