How can I comfort my girlfriend?

[Countrygirl1899]

This is my girlfriends account she said I can use it. She doesn't feel like doing anything today. She's upset because her aunt died yesterday. She died while giving birth to her daughter. I don't know how it happened my girlfriend is not very happy about it. Besides her brother she was the only other family member she had. She doesn't want to do anything today she just wants to lay on the couch and watch tv. She doesn't even want to keep laying in bed all day. She misses her a lot she said it hurts so much. How can I comfort her? What should I say to her?

[Anonymous]

1- Don't try to reason with her pain. Just watch it. You will have to be strong. She will be upset and she will cry. Let her cry. Hold her until she stops crying herself.
2- Don't try to make her pain go away. It will go away by itself. But you need to be very patient.
3- Listen carefully, if she asks for the smallest thing, do not ignore it. Her requests may come in a very weak form, she will not have the strength to ask for it assertively. It will be a very subtle request. Even in the form of a suggestion.
4- Don't absorb yourself with any projects, tv, computer, books, ...
5- Make sure she eats. Not too much though. Just a little bit. Sweet stuff is a good idea.
6- Stay around
7- Encourage it if there is a chance of social interaction with other people. Friends, family, neighbors, ... Even better if they want to stay over or she wants to spend the night at their place.
8- Hugging and physical touch help a lot. Stroke her hair. Rub her back or feet.
9- If she sleeps, do not disturb her for any reason on heaven and earth.
10- Go for a walk with her if she likes. A visit to the jacuzi might be good too, or going to the beach if she is an outdoor person. Any sports/physical activity she suggests is great.
11- If you can, the spa or shopping, or going to the beauty parlor for hair, nails, makeup, or anything may help if she feels like it.
12- If she says mean things to you, don't take it personally. Do not return an insult. It is just her way of dealing with trauma. Don't make judgmental statements.
13- Take care of your own health too. But manage it in a way that will not interfere with you being there for her.
14- Don't face it alone. Use all the help you can get. Even small gestures can be a great help.

[luvitall]

You physically can't change her mood, you have to accept that she is grieving and you kind of just have to step back and let her, all you can do to comfort her is be there to lend a ear and listen NOT offer or give advice I mean ACTUALLY listen... make sure she eats maybe go pick up something she loves to eat, a movie she loves or wants to see, not much more you can do really

[phil2]

Just ask her if she wants to talk to you and tell her that if she does that you will listen to her and try to understand her. You won't judge her or tell her that she needs to get over it. You will be empathetic and just a good listener.

[steveguitar]

I have heard of that happening before, not sure why it happens, you would think that hey would know by now.

Tell her that at least there is still part of her around, the baby. Tell her to get to know her and help raise her. I mean it hurts right now of course, it can't be changed. Time will pass and she will feel better, it's still pretty fresh. I'm sure that the husband could use help

[CisScum]

Get off this site and do sweet things for her. Buy her chocolate, say sweet things to her, cuddle/hug her and say it'll be okay. Make her dinner, lunch, breakfast and etc. Anything that'll make her happy or at least be not sad for a little while. It'll show you're there for her in her time of need. Good luck!

[lightbulb27]

very sorry to hear that.

Empathy
Be there, hold her, see if you can get her out to walk or somewhere she used to spend time with her aunt. she may just want to sulk for a while.

[Anonymous]

Just be there for her when she cries or whenever she's ready to talk. Be very patient she might become a little bipolar at some point which is part of healing. Just show her that you're there for her no matter what.

[Mackbandit]

Give her time bud, it's a tough situation, but the best thing for you to do is be there for her if she wants you to be but otherwise, give her space. She probably needs some time to work through her emotions, but she'll bounce back eventually

[Unit1]

Hug her 24/7. Be there for her! Trust me m8. SUPPORT HER!

[Sandscade]

Give her time to recover. Do what makes her happy. Bring her favorite foods. Do something that is fun for her. And last but not least, try to feel what she feels.

[Asadi]

Bring her something she like to eat, or try to do the things that cheer her up normally

[Regular1]

Let her give you a blowjob

[Anonymous]

people need TIME to deal with it

[Anonymous]

let her go through the 7 stages of grief