Well, I had skipped this question because it's so vague, but was just asked to respond...
So, it really depends on the situation. On update it would appear she was checking out long before the actual split so it's obvious she was done with it all anyway.
And this whole 'asking out' thing it just too formal. If you want to talk to her and get to know her better just do that. Invite her to coffee, or a drink, or whatever is appropriate as a venue to just be able to communicate. Show your interest by paying attention to her - JUST TALK TO HER.
If you're a man on your mission you have things you are doing, that you have plans for. Tell her about that and tell her she's welcome to join you. For example, "I'll be at ______ (fill in place) on Friday for some pizza and beer, come on out and join me." Or whereever it is that you're gonna be or doing, ask her along. "I'm going to the ___ball game Sunday, want to come along?"
This way if she's at all interested she'll show up, or if she's busy she'll suggest an alternative. If she's not, then she'll just shut you down. At least you'll know. You CANNOT negotiate attraction. It's either there or it isn't.
wait, but make your intentions clear immediately, tell her straight up your there for her through the time but cz you wanna date when she's ready... but bruh don't take too long in that phase be subtle but always remind her of your intentions... I believe if you show her a good time n hang out, you'll get her.
then again nothing is set in stone... don't have too much expectations, anything can happen, in a fucked up way she might go back to the guy... be ready for anything!
So you suggest meeting up with her but in a non date way?
yes... meet her as her friend for now.
but make sure she knows you want something more than friendship... hanging out as friends is cz you know she needs time or she vulnerable.
but you're flirting already so that's a plus :) it all depends on what she says a when you make your intentions known... that will determine whether you have something or in the friendzone.
ok, next week ill ask her if she wants to meet up for some food and see what she says
Also how would i let her know i want something more than friendship?, just tell her?
yes take that leap of faith, remember not too much expectations... since you've been flirting then you're ok.
yes, simply tell her. life's short to be beating around the bush.
something like "I know you're just from a rship n you might be wanting some time to yourself and I want to let you know I'm very much interested in you, I like you n I'm hoping this could be something more than friendship."
sometimes you win... sometimes you learn... just do it.
If you ask her out now, the chance of her being over her ex is slim. I'd give a guess of less than 4%.
What is likely going to happen is:
1. She's going to want to immediately jump into a relationship. It'll end because she's going to compare you to her ex. You likely won't live up to him. It will end because she'll realize that no matter how bad it was, she's still stuck on him.
2. Rebound. You're going to be the guy who she uses to distract herself from her ex. Go on a few dates, have some fun, and it'll end because she'll either find someone else, go back to the ex, or move on.
3. She might tell you no and say "you're a good friend".
- Give her space. Flirt with her but let her be.
That's exactly what is going to happen.
You don't have to go all out and try to immediately start a relationship with her especially since she's just left her ex. But I think you should make your intention to be more than a friend clear. If she's flirting then she may like you to and be open to the idea. Just because she ended it with her ex doesn't mean she needs a certain amount of time to move on as not everyone does tbh. If she thinks it should of ended a long time ago then she could be feeling free to explore. Just make it clear that you don't intend on just being a rebound so want to take time to gradually get serious if that how things naturally progress.
So would it be ok to ask to meet up for something to eat and to go bowling?
Yes it casual and allows for a friendship as well. It's not an intimidating setting.
The next time i see her ill talk to her about the breakup and decide whether to ask her to meet up
Best of luck:).
I think you should wait to get really close to her. If you get close enough to her that she will open up to you and tell you how she feels about the situation, then your chances will be better. Even if the relationship wasn't good for her, breakups are still hard. You're losing someone that was a big part of your life for a while. I think it's important for you to be there for her right now and tell her that you care about her and want to eventually have a relationship with her, but that if she isn't ready, that she can take her time.
Opinion
69Opinion
"B" For Best from the Rest to Go Slow, Joe, anyways. Being she has just gotten Out of an Old Relationship, she is Vulnerable Now Somehow.
Be Lite and Semi Sweet with every Tweet. I have seen Many a Time, how these Things go with Some Jill and Joe, Where they Will... Kiss and Make up.
Good Luck. xx
u You will never know when she is recovered from a break up, so how will you know when you have waited long enough? It is better to approach her and say, "I know that you just broke up and you may want some alone time to cool off from the experience and not just jump into a rebound relationship, but when you are ready, I would love to spend some time with you. If you are interested, will you let me know when you are ready?"
GO NOW... maybe if she isn't ready you will make an impact on her and when she is ready.. . give you a shout. If you wait and she doesn't know your intentions well.. YOU MY FRIEND ARE SCREWED.
Take the number of the greatest units of time she was together with him, and then wait for her for a smaller unit of the same number. So if they were together for two months, wait two weeks.
This little fact was taken from a study made straight out of my ass.
I have tried this and it worked for me. Do exactly what you see was missing in her relationship, and the ask her immediately after doing that. But do remember you are currently just a rebound and she will eventually get over you too because your 'novelty value' or your newness will fade and then either she might get back to him, find some other guy, or be single again. One thing to be cautious of is her private conversations with her ex, because no matter what she is saying now, she once had feelings for him and she will listen to him. I found that when we where having a good time, and saw her ex, she would would get a little nervous and that's the key time when you have to act and provide her the comfort and warmth she is craving for.
The other way which I am unaware of is when the girl will get close to you just to make her ex feel jealous. And this might actually frustrate the other guy.
Well, just play it cool still. Ask her out for coffee or like a drink at the pub or something casual still. Then see from that event how she acts around you and if she talks about her ex at all. Then work from there. But from my experience and from observation of women, don't ever think you know exactly what's going on in their brains or assume their feelings on any situation. They may say one thing like I don't care about that guy, I hate him, and then the next thing you know, he says or does something that makes them crawl back. So, go easy and be like you have been with her, it seems to be working with her. And let her decide if she is really over him.
The prudent thing would be to let her process her last relationship before getting together with her, but the common philosophy these days is to get over somebody you need to get under somebody else. Women who typically do this are train wrecks; they don't know who they are, what they want and it's ALWAYS the guys fault.
I was in the same position 2 years ago, and I did the prudent thing and gave her space & time to heal. She ended up jumping on some other guy immediately and just broke up with him a few months ago. She was hot and I did truly enjoy her company but her inability to take inventory after a break up was a huge red flag to me.
So did you date her?
Stay close to her but don't jump into anything too soon. If she's still getting adjusted to single life and y'all start things up right away, you'll be a rebound. If she's someone you're good friends with then I would stay in touch and slowly warm up to her. If you move in too quick it could put her off.
Under most circumstances I would say wait, or else you might risk being nothing more than a rebound. However, since it sounds like it was an easy breakup for her and she's already flirting with you, I'd say go for it, but take it slow. Start with casual dates and build up to more romance later on.
She has been flirty with me for a few weeks so she may have already moved on from him. Even though the break wasn't official. Ill see how she is the next time i see her. If she's flirty again and reciprocates my flirting then ill ask if she wants to meet up for food and bowling.
The break wasn't official? So they're not actually fully broken up?
Sorry its just the way i worded that sentence. Yes the break is official.
Is it just a break in the relationship, or a full breakup where the relationship is 100% over?
She said she's had enough of his laziness and there's no feelings for him anymore. But with this only happening two days ago. Who knows what will happen between the two of them. So maybe its better to wait a bit to be sure.
Make sure the relationship is completely over before you make a move. And while her behavior indicates that she's ready to move on, you should definitely still give her at least a full week before you ask her out. Two days isn't long at all.
I should have a better idea of whats going on by next week. So i can make a better decision. Should i flirt with her or try to be more of a friend the next time i see her?
I'd say go for something in between. Flirt, especially if she reciprocates, but be subtle until you're sure she's ready to move on.
It's really not an exact science. Some girls will be open to a new date after little time and others will have to wait longer. Try to pay attention to some signs, try to see if she's open to other guys already. If she is (or if you think that she is), don't wait.
She has been playfully hitting me and being a bit flirty with me recently.
Flirty? I wouldn't wait if I were you.
You don't want to be the filler guy. As hot as that sounds, it's not. It's the rebound guy she goes with right after the break up, then realizes what she is doing and how that's wrong for her. Then she moves on to a whole different guy, who she then applies herself in a more emotionally present way.
A shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on 😂. Dont waste much time just ask her.. Though ur first few months r going to be hell becoz all she is going to talk about is my ex was this my ex was that.. My ex liked this my ex hated that blah blah.. But eventually ull be the one bcoz of whom she will forget everything.. She will start loving u more and more by time..
PS-Do note the things that she didn't like about his ex while she is telling u the story and improvise on it :']
Ask her out. I mean be honest. What are you wanting? If you want to hit it then try. If you want to get together ask her. While talking to her just ask... Hey I know you just split ( this is basic don't copy verbatim) but I'd like to take you to a movie. Don't pressure but you and her could hang out, she can get out freely after her longneeded breakup. And she'd know you like her if she doesn't already. But she may just be happy to be flirty
As long as you are sure it's over and she's let go , I guess the time is right when she's showing signs of interest in you.
I'd just bide your time, get to know her more. Let things develop I'm there own time. Rather than jump right in and rush things
Just be careful you aren't a rebound relationship though, but I'm sure that's not the case considering the relationship was over long ago for her, even though she was still with him.
I would suggest you to wait. I mean, talk to her and tell her that you are interested and that u like her, but that u prefer to give her some time for her to be fully prepared. She might be ready, but most likely she still has feelings for him (perhaps not strong enough). Also waiting might be a good thing for you too. Who knows what's going on in her mind. She may see u as a way to hurt her ex (even if she is the one who broke up) or even as a rebound.
Since your saying that it looks like she moved on already, I would suggest moving in for the kill already, it's a fast passed society, no difference there.
If she looked really hart broken just support her for now until she seems more lively and positive.
Keeping yourself restraint because of what others might think isn't a very good idea. Be you, but be considerate of her feelings.
I don't know how long was her relationship. But considering that she said 'it should have ended long time ago' and that she has been flirting with you she might get over it sooner.
I think you can be honest and let her know that you are into her. Then give her time whenever she is ready. You can directly tell her that you respect if she might need time and that she can tell you whenever she is ready to move on and start new relationship.
She doesn't seem to be upset about it. she's just as fun and playful as she's always been around me. I guess ill just talk to her and find out how things are going
Yea, I think thats the best way ;) Good luck!
This is a hard one to gauge! Because waiting seems like right idea but you have no idea how some people act after a break up. It is rare someone will take time off the dating game to reflect, also a girls goal is to not be the loser after the break up even if it is her fault so a lot of girls have that back up weeny. So I say just swoop in and get it over with
B, she can accept your relationship offer because she is looking for another ship. She is lost in a sea and seeking for another ship. For scientific research's "Peoples can be sad for a broke up for only 28 days but then their hearts will return to the base levels"
She just dumped a guy and you moving in her life can be very tricky because you never want to be the rebound guy. The reason because she might be frustrated and disappointed with her previous relationship so there is a good chance she might accept you but she is doing to get over the dissapointment she had and there are strong chances that she might dump you.
scenario 2
She might just reject you.
My advice find an another girl because you don't want to spend all that effort on this girl.
Depends on what you want from her:
1. If you're just trying to hook up then it's best to fly in as fast as possible before the other vultures get a chance; or her heart begins to heal and she's able to move on.
- Be cautious but quick for this to work. Also be ready to listen to bunch of bs about her past relationships.
2. If you want a relationship then you should definitely wait. Rebounding is rarely ever a good idea. I'd explain more but it's my reading time.
I would say neither. You do not want to be part of that just breakup relationship. At that moment women are vulnerable and would be offended or readily accept but that won't last long. As soon she is sober she would leave. If you wait she might get someone else. Be the crying shoulder! Yes, get through that mood and be with her and when things seem okay, ask her out.
Otherwise you'll end up being a rebound dude. Let her rebound with other people, stick around and she'll get over them (trust me).
But also depends on how long they were with the person, so?
reply and I can give you more tips c:
They were official for 3 months but had been seeing each other for a few months before that
Nah he can get over her :P
Should i still wait a few weeks to ask her then?
yeah like 2 or 3
don't swoop in too early to the point where you look like a douche. but don't wait too long. y'all should start like low-key talking but i wouldn't ask her out for a little bit. but overall do what your heart tells you
I guess i have the feeling of not wanting someone else to get there before me lol
then do what you gotta do. but you could just always talk to her about it and tell her how you feel.
You want her to wait and think with a clear head. Look at her as off the market until then. Not until she is ready and unbiased in her choice. If you she needs help, help her if she can't find any. Don't dare take advantage. If she is still reeling from her breakup, she's not ready. It would be the same for you. Luckily, girls get over girls faster than vice versa. So, be wise.
I'd say to continue talking to her but don't rush into things either. See how she reacts to your advances and wait for things to slowly build up. If things begin to progress make sure she's fully over her previous relationship, so you're not just a rebound.
I'd say 3 weeks to a month. Most women will tell you to wait until she is fully over him. That's vague as fuck and will most likely leave you a day late and a dollar short. So give her the month to process then ask her out with an open ended offer if "I loved to take you out when your ready to date again." Something like that.
flirt with her. she how she reacts to it. get a bit more closer. like telling her about you day and stuff in detail amd just be really close friends with her.. see for a week or two and then ask her out.
Wait for a couple of weeks. You don't want her to think you're taking advantage of her vulnerability, and you don't want to be just a rebound either.
You will be a rebound if you date her next unless she has had enough time to deal with the breakup, and that amount of time depends on how long she dated her ex. But if you want to ask anyway then a week after or a month after doesn't really matter.
when the grieving process is over.
if the grieving process is not over then you will be disappointed.
it can take up to a year for the grieving process to be over.
since she broke up with him, it can take at least 4 to 6 months
Don't jump in right away. Make sure she's over (she might be trying to fill the void) you never know, but at the same time do flirt to let her know you're interested. When you feel like the time is right jump in.
Considering your update, I guess it wasn't a painful breakup or something, but still don't ask her right away, aand don't ask her directly about her past relationship. Keep talking to her and ask her out when she stops mentioning her ex.
Go for it now, before she starts looking for a rebound... But keep it casual at first... Make sure your the person she's spending time with, even if it isn't an obvious date.
Maybe a flirt lightly and wait a couple of weeks. It makes all the difference that she initiated the breakup and was done with the relationship before then, but you still have to wait a couple of weeks for her to collect her thoughts.
If she said it should have ended awhile ago then it's acceptable to ask now since there's nothing for her to get over basically.
Ill talk to her about it then gauge what to do
Ask her now because each girl takes a different amount of time to be ready for a new person to date. Some might dstd someone for years and withim weeks are into a new person and others date someone for weeks and take years to move on.
Is there a respectful way to handle this then? Obviously i wouldn't ask her on a date straight away. But maybe asking her to meet up to do a fun activity like bowling or ice skating, then getting some food after. If she accepts to meet up i wouldn't try anything romantic with her. Maybe some light flirting.
Light flirting so you put yourself on her radar for sure. Be someone she enjoys being around.
Ask her now before someone beats you to the punch. If she isn't ready at least she will know you are interested and when she is ready if she is interested in you she can seek you out.
As a girl, I appreciate if a guy doesn't try to rush in especially if he knows I have just gotten out of a nasty breakup. I need time to heal and to grow a little.
Don't get with her just now as ahe might just be looking for something or rather somebody to takenher mind off of things. However, stay close and take care of her.
There's really no formula to this, man. I suppose you can gauge how their relationship actually was and make judgement from there.
You never wanna be the rebound. And if you make a move too soon she may realize that's what you are and things could fall apart just because of wrong timing.
If you don't wait you might become the rebound guy, i. e. the guy she's with to get over the last. Then she will probably sooner or later realise that by herself and she might dump you.
Give her a little space for a bit, I don't know how close you currently are but talk to her a bit and try to judge how she is feeling. If you think she's mostly over it then ask and see.
I think you should spend as much time with her first. Wait a while to ask her out. You don't want her to use you as a rebound or run back to the ex She needs time to heal.
Aske her if she wants to casually hang out, tell her you respect her recent break up and just wanna grab some food and hang out. Worse she can do is say nah
Wait 'til she cools down. Even If you are flirting. Think twice before you make your move. Thanks for the invite by the way
ASAP
to discover if she covertly had another standing in line
or really needs a change in BFs
b/c good deals don't sit long on the shelf
If anyone says they need time to move on or she doesn't know you long enough, just stop talking to her, in my opinion. I think any excuse related to time is purely bullshit.
Talk to her a bit and if she's sad, hold off. When she shows signs of being over it, then give it a go.
I'd ask her out and try my best to get her mind off her ex. :) If she's a good hearted woman that I can see myself spending months or even my life with, you bet I'll ask right away.
Don't let yourself become the rebound. she might blindly crave attention right now and then write you off as a rebound in the end.
Wait as long as you can. Develop a friendship first. Do not, do not be a rebound. They always leave either way. Either for the ex or someone new. It sucks lol
I would ask as soon as she splits up admit you like her, but allow her to call the shots
Or could i ask her out instead?
What if it was to meet up to go ice skating or bowling instead of actually using the word date?
Ask her now, if she broke up while flirting with you there's probably a correlation
Would it not be too soon. Would you meet up with someone that quick after a break up?
My best friend was almost in that situation; she hardly waited a month for her new boyfriend.
If you want to play it safe, get close but don't do/say anything explicit until you know "she's over", and let her take the lead.
Or be honest with your feelings, and tell her you're perfectly willing to wait until she's done with the previous relationship.
I was thinking about asking her to go bowling. Or would that be too "date" like?
Wait a week or two, then ask if she'd be interested in it and if so, she can text you when she's free.
Give it a couple weeks at least. So, minimum 2 weeks. If you're in her inner circle, you can then gauge how she's feeling then.
I would wait to ask her out, but make yourself present and known in her life so you can judge when to make a move
No one healthy wants to rush from a failed relationship into a new relationship. Give her time and space.
As a rule, I'll wait 3-4 months before attempting anything, and even then I'd be careful.
It depends on what you want with her: relationship or casual.
For the former, I'd wait; for the latter, I'd go straight in.
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