Girlfriend used to be a slut. Should I leave her?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my girlfriend for about 18 months now and I just found out that she was a slut before we met. When she was in college she had several one night stands and was with at least 6 guys... probably more. I was aware that she had one other boyfriends before me and I could deal with that but the idea that she has had casual sex with 6+ other guys makes me sick. We've had a lot of fun together and I love her very much but I think I might be better to just end our relationship now before things get more serious.

I care about her a lot but I am pretty grossed out by this if I'm being honest. I don't want to hurt her feelings so if I do break up with her I think I'm better to lie to her about the reason. Do you think that I should just end things now? I'm just looking for some advice. Thanks

Leave her

Stay with her

Not sure

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for the answers :)

Updates

+1 y

I think I'm going to end it. But thanks to all of the advice. I'll definitely take it into account.

[SmartButBroke]

I'm sure some people will be critical of you for having this issue with her, but I definitely say if it bothers you then you need to get out. You will have trouble respecting her, and it will affect how you treat her anyways. I would not really even lie when breaking up with her; I'd just say "I don't think we're compatible"/"I am realizing you're not what I'm looking for" and try to basically leave it at that. So many girls will break up with you and not give you a real reason or any at all, so you don't really owe her a reason anyways.

I would have an issue with this, as well, personally, and would break up if I found out after getting involved or would not get involved in the first place if I know ahead of time. It's just a dealbreaker for me, people have them. It's immediately disgusting to me to know someone has slept with a lot of people, and I don't want them touching me with stuff that has been everywhere else.

[Asker]

Thanks. I think you're right. Maybe I'm better to end it now so that it doesn't drag on for both of us.

[RandomPandaz]

Listen it happend when she was in college and she is with you now in a way i think its a stupid reason to break up with her cause if you guys have been dating for 18 months there's a reason for it... You love her and she loves you and that is all that matters... Almost everyone has something bad in their past and in a relationship the key is learning to accept your partner no matter how bad the past was and dont forget it happend in the past and she's with you now... Breaking because of something like that would be pretty stupid... Give her a chance... And for the record almost everyone will have that stage in life with a lot of one night stands its a stage in a life most people have

[Nyx_85]

Just because she has slept with other people and had some one night stands doesn't mean she can't be a loyal partner. I've known chicks who had quite a few one night stands and what not... yet they never cheated on a partner. In fact they were more loyal than a lot of the 'proper girls' out there. My ex bff was such a goody goody on the surface yet when her relationships weren't perfect she would cheat. It sounds like this is an ego issue for you.

And wait... You are under 18 and she went to college? Is this relationship legal?

[Nyx_85]

Realizing this might be a troll... Anyway if you are not then do what feels right to you. Maybe give yourself a bit of time (not too long though. Don't drag it out. That isn't fair) and see how you feel. If you really don't think you can get over it then end things because it won't be fun for either of you. Do you think she wants to be with someone who judges her for her past? Let her be with someone who won't and go find someone who has the qualities you want.

[Nyx_85]

FYI why are guys on here so damn sexist. The comments on here.. Like geesh. And thumbs downing anybody who doesn't think like you? I doubt you lot are perfect. People in glass houses...

[Nyx_85]

*some guys

[madhatters4]

i can see both sides of this coin

if it was the beginning of the relationship and you knew this i could better understand breaking up with her but you've been with her for a year and a half. she is loyal, clearly you like her, so her past at this point should be her past.

ultimately it's up to you but i think at this point if i were you i'd stay with her

[JimRSmith]

I don't think you're mature enough to deal with this. Sorry if that sounds harsh / patronising, but it's how I see it.

[TiffyPuff]

Under 18... when girlfriend was in college...

This isn't adding up. Like, is she your teacher or something? Cuz that might be statutory rape and stuff, depending on where you live.

So like, if she's a paedophile, you should probably dump her.

But in general... Why does it matter how many guys a girl has been with? It seems a little unnecessary and judgmental to me. Like, if you get along just fine with a girl, you'd let something silly like that break you up?

[Asker]

Like I said in another comment, my age is wrong on this site and I can't find a way to change it.

It may be silly but it matters to me.

[samhradh_leannan]

It's really up to you. If you no longer respect her or view her as a compatible partner, then you should end it.

However, you should be aware that people can change, and that someone's past won't always have any impact at all on your relationship with them or who they are now.

[tacoty21]

bro she changed for you. She went from being someone anyone could fuck to only you being able to fuck. If that doesn't mean anything to you I would end it, but you shouldn't hold her past against her.

[NatashaJ]

So 6 guys is too much but how many you have under your belt? most men nowadays have their heads up their asses.

[Anushree]

You should leave her only she isn't true to you. If she stopped all that now, then I don't see why you can't continue the relationship.! She sounds like fun!

[wrish09]

Look man whatever she did she did it before you guys were in a relationship so there is no reason for a breakup and her sleeping with a couple of guys shouldn't bother you I mean everybody has Sex nowadays.

[redeyemindtricks]

"Under 18"
"When my girlfriend was in college..."

Nice troll buddy.

I hear imaginary women get over stuff pretty fast, so, sure, dump her. Lmao

[Porch]

@redeyemindtricks
He could be under 18 and have a college girlfriend. When I was in 12th and 17, my girlfriend was 18 and a freshman in college and dropped put.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Porch "When my girlfriend WAS in college..."
"I've been with her for about 18 months..."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occam%27s_razor

[Porch]

@redeyemindtricks
Still possible. If you subtract a year and a half from 17 and a half, you get 16. He could have started at age 16.

My sister was 15 and liked a college man that was 21. My mom kicked her out of the house for it and I can't stand my mom for doing that. She and my mom still don't speak to this day.

[redeyemindtricks]

@Porch Right, dude, ok yeah.

But, if we entertain the notion that this is real...
... first, there's the HUGE bias that women have against men who are younger. Magnified by the fact that, to college students, high-school kids seem like small children.
... And, what would possibly be the odds that some dude concerned with "sluts" and "sexual purity" would be trying to date someone older while in high school.

Come on now. Let's be serious.

[Porch]

@redeyemindtricks
I am serious. I have pictures of Russ and Lisa together. Email me at foreskin10@protonmail. com and I'll show you it's real.

How dare you suggest that what I presented was fake. I'm a real, genuine and sincere person. She was 15 and he was 21.

[Asker]

I'm 24. My age isn't right on the site. I can't find a way to change it to the correct date of birth though.

[redeyemindtricks]

You would have to send a message to the admins.

I get that people don't always put the correct age (and/or just pick something random, out of pure laziness or whatever) -- but, why would you pick a wrong age that's under 18? That would just restrict the kind of stuff you can post, for no reason.

[redeyemindtricks]

In any case, if these things you're saying are true, then "I love her" is pretty plainly a lie.

And -- assuming she's the one who told you -- you'd rlly be punishing her for BEING HONEST, and not for anything she did or didn't do.
(After all, if she just lied or didn't say anything, it's not like you could reasonably have acquired this information -- and so you'd stay with her.)

Not winning ways to live, these.

[VirginiaBeachBum]

If I had passed on my wife based on her sexual history, I would have missed out on one of the best relationships I could have ever hoped for. And your girlfriend's history has nothing on hers.

[deraz24]

If she's truly changed and you feel like you love her give her a chance, maybe talking ab it and getting it off your chest will make you feel better

[meatballs21]

Everyone has a past. If you can't accept hers, you might as well leave as you will hate being in the relationship and not treat her with the love she deserves.

[tzdc21]

She's a bad bet for a committed relationship. Just walk away.

[Anonymous]

She sounds gross. The older she gets the less valuable she becomes. Find someone more in sync with your desires and let her return to the street corner

[Bandit74]

If you think you'd be happier with someone who didn't sleep around as much then leave her.

[BellePepper]

You should leave her because she deserves to find someone who actually values her. Unlike you.

[Asker]

I can't change what I'm attracted to...

[BellePepper]

That's a YOU problem OP

[mangosign]

If you slept with her before being in a committed relationship, you have no real justification for your reason to break up with her. You would be a hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

I think you should talk to her about your concerns if possible...

[Asker]

Do I just tell her that I'm not attracted to girls who sleep around? How do I have the conversation without hurting her?

[Opinion Owner]

I think that you should say that you dislike what she has done and if she could maybe change her ways.. Also that you don't feel comfortable knowing this has happened in the past... Be honest with her

[Anonymous]

Leave her. There are plenty of decent women in the world.

[shyramarie1]

sluts make great girlfriends

[Iraqveteran666]

You can't wife up a slut. It just can't be done

[Iraqveteran666]

2 sluts can't handle the truth

[GMagara]

Why is it gross she used to like sex?