My boyfriend constantly makes rude comments about fat girls?

Question

My boyfriend and I get along very well but this one thing...it p*sses me off! Every time we see a girl who is plus size he makes rude comments about he feels sorry for the chairs she's sitting in! It just frustrates me! It makes me think that he is unhappy with my body and he constantly tells me that he loves my body but I never ever let him seem e naked because I am afraid he will think of me like he does a plus size girl. HE gets so mad at me because I won't show him and I tell him that I don't feel comfortable...why doesn't he get it?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

A guy like this is typically immature and insecure with himself and that's why he projects it onto fat girls. No one is saying he has to be attracted to them, but normal people don't go around making comments about every person that doesn't tickle their fancy. Even though he isn't directing those comments to you I can understand how you feel...When you are dating a guy it is important to note how he treats other people in general, not just you. Because even if he isn't talking about your body, you see that he has that meanness in him and it could one day be directed to you. What if you stay with this guy and end up having kids by him? I'm sorry to say but he sounds like the kind of guy who would think of you as a fat girl while you're pregnant and put you down or cheat. What if you are both in your 30s and 40s and your metab naturally slows down, how will he look at you then? He just isn't a nice person. Guys like that think women are supposed to walk around being attractive to them and are mean when they see someone they don't find attractive...that's a character flaw not something to ignore

but anyway you should tell him how you feel and that you are insecure about your weight and that it makes you feel bad. if he is a decent guy he will feel bad that you feel this way and do his best to stop. and you wouldn't be wrong to stick up for these girls when he makes comments like that.

m3TALchick · Accepted Answer

Okay, I'll give you the correct answer. Your boyfriend probably feels that it is okay to be that way, because of how he was raised or cause of the people that he hangs out with. I couldn't be with someone like that merely because I believe in treating people the way that you want to be treated. You NEVER know when you might need help from someone that you least expect it from. You should have a general respect for life and all types of it; because the more love that you show to people the more happy of a person you will become and the more grounded you become as a person. Guys and girls that generally act that way have a insecurity issue of some sort whether they want to admit it or not. Your not gonna be able to change him of that habit; he's got to want to on his own. I'm sorry that you are in that situation. I can't imagine if you had a best friend or a good friend, or even in your family  that was plus size and how much it would hurt to deal with his comments. You should sit him down and talk to him about why he feels that he should make fun of plus sized people. And explain to him that not all women are plus size because they choose to be, there are a lot of body issues that can cause men and women to gain uncontrollable weight. and its not their fault. I would just get to the root of what makes him feel that its okay to make fun because their obese. Good luck. =]

Louise123 · Accepted Answer

So your boyfriend makes fun of plus size girls.  Are YOU a plus size girl?  If not - then I'm not sure what your concern is. And, yes, what he is doing is very unkind and extremely disrespectful. Those plus size girls could be extremely sweet people  Anyway - back to you...  Most every girl on this planet hates her guy seeing her naked.  We are SO worried about a little extra skin that it prevents us from ENJOYING being with the guy!  Let me share a little secret with you, Hon.  GUYS LOVE SKIN..  They are NOT hung up on a tiny bit of cellulite - or a little extra here and there.. I will tell you what REALLY turns a guy on?  A WOMAN WHO IS COMFORTABLE IN HER OWN SKIN - can really enjoy herself in intimate situations - and not be SELF CONSCIOUS. GUYS HATE THAT.  Just love yourself!  Love your body -- and remember... when you lay flat on a bed... EVERYBODY looks skinny!  LOL... Do not worry.  We are not fashion models.. We are true people and the guy loves YOU anyway... not how big your thighs are. If he didn't want to be with YOU, he wouldn't be. But whatever happens.. if he ever makes fun of you in any way?  LOSE HIM.  True beauty comes from within.  Beauty fades eventually... be a kind person. That's more imporant - as you know already.  You sound like a lovely girl.  Be proud.  Good luck!

markml · Accepted Answer

Well, you say you're paranoid about him criticizing the way other girls look, but if he were attracted to all women regardless of their appearance, would that make you feel more secure? You want your guy to feel you're prettier than any other woman out there, but you just don't want to hear him criticizing other women...

Not that he should be saying what he's saying...

Your boyfriend sadly is dumb as a log!

He should know that talking about a woman's weight, even if it's not yours, is not a good thing. But it's a fact that a lot of guys do talk about this stuff when women aren't around. But most of them are smart enough to zip it when they're with a woman.

Also, you absolutely have a right to decide when AND if you will show your naked body to him. No offense, but your boyfriend sounds very classless and like he's a throw-back to the prehistoric Neanderthal! The fact that he would even get mad at you for that...

He certainly has no understanding of female modesty. Honestly, I really don't blame you for feeling uncomfortable...

Phoenix52 · Accepted Answer

A good boyfriend doesn't say negative things. He doesn't bring others down whether its for his amusement or because he feels insecure about something.

I had a friend who ripped on me every time I saw him. Despite the fact that I took everything as a joke, I don't see him anymore because I don't want my confidence or feelings jeopardized. And I know for a fact that he was probably trying to bring me down to his level of insecurity.

I bet he does talk crap about you behind your back, since he does it to others. Logically, I believe you should ditch him and find a better guy.

wildfire5288 · Answer

Are you plus sized?  Honestly those girls have complete control over their weight, if they wanted to and were motivated enough they would lose the weight and while what you're boyfriend is saying isn't really nice they're inviting comments like that by not getting their act together and getting in shape which is something they should do for their own health.  And if you're worried about what your boyfriend thinks about you then either dump him or head to the gym so he can see something you know he'll like but if you're not plus sized I don't really see what the issue is

enigmaticlady · Answer

In my opinion, if a guy talks badly about other girls in your presence, he probably will talk badly about you eventually...so I'd probably say to hell with him and dump him.

That or he has a complex because some overweight girl played him and he's upset. There's always some reason why people give one topic more attention than another.

(You could try telling him: Why don't you pay me the amount of attention that you pay those "fat girls" when we go out", but say it in a playful way as to avoid misunderstanding, and to get him to lay off of insulting girls that he doesn't even know)

useranonymous · Answer

He's just insecure and probably thinks that some of them are attractive but men "aren't allowed to like "fat" girls" in today's culture. I have had friends who really liked bigger girls, but they "couldn't" ask them out because their friends would rip them to shreds if they found out.

No offense, but he sounds like a real tool. Hope he never puts you down for anything. And you should never be afraid to show your body off, especially to your partner. Find someone you're comfortable with -- it makes things a lot easier and you'll be a lot happier.

townlove · Answer

he sounds like an insensitive bastard. and most likely very immature.

somewhere down the line, you're not gonna be able to put up with his bullsh*t

i say ditch his ass and find a decent guy, a kind-hearted guy.

just tell him that you don't like it when he's like that and how much you hate it.

tell him to stop judging people so harshly. even he doesn't say your fat or whatever.

just say that "what if one day I became fat? then would you make fun of me?"

you have to make f***s like him think. its the only way. either that or ditch him.

AtheistScholar · Answer

Your boyfriend is superficial, shallow and rude. The fact that he has no empathy is quite worrying, god forbid you got fat from pregnancy or disfigured in a car accident - no doubt he would skip out the door.

He doesn't "get this" about himself because he's a jack ass. Instead of coddling him with your insecurities why don't you tell him point blank: "Hey, rude jerk, your constant poking fun at fat people and acting so superficial makes me worried that you will criticize the hell out of me too. So if you want to see me naked try actually being more compassionate about people's bodies. You may think your jokes are funny but they are hurtful to not only other people, but ultimately YOU, because they make you look like a shallow jerk and no one wants to trust someone like that with views of their body."

selfishstars · Answer

I wouldn't be able to be with a guy like that. I think it shows that not only is he shallow, but he's rude and insensitive too. Not to mention that you've expressed your feelings about it and he doesn't respect them. I would also worry that if I were to gain weight (which often happens to people when they age, get busy with life and find it hard to balance being active and eating well with everything else that's thrown at them, have a baby, have to take a medication with weight gain as a side effect, or perhaps get into an accident that leaves them bedridden for a period of time, etc.) that he would leave me, even if I didn't get to a "plus size".

Jon364 · Answer

You are both insecure about weight issues and are clearly clashing about it.  You should try to talk about it.  I don't think it's the end of the world.  For you, try to seperate what he says about others compared to what he says about you.  Just because he says the other girls are fat, doesn't mean he sees you as fat.  I can understand why it would make you upset though.  For him, try to talk to him and let him know that it's not okay when he talks about other girls like that.  That it is rude.

KarKingJack · Answer

All lads, and most gelz, make fun of 'fat' girls anyway. But he makes fun of EVERY girl who's bigger, LOL. That's f***ing whacked out. You should just express your distaste for his jokes, instead of staring at your tummy in the mirror with eyes a mix of fear, insecurity and sodomy. Like, slap him.

'I'm gonna eat a whole f***ing cow, would ya still wanna see me naked then, YA CUUUUNT'

Or in a more polite way, like. Communication-like.

16switches · Answer

He will make you feel bad the moment you gain even a little bit of weight. This shows that he doesn't respect women, and that he won't respect you soon either. It's more important for him that women look good, rather than their personality.

I don't care if you still wanna go out with him, but he's not long term :/

peace-love-couture · Answer

He's insecure.Yes everyone has complete control over their weight,yes it is a choice to be overweight or obese,but no one who is secure with themselves and their body and appearance will make comments or jokes regarding other peoples weight or body.

Tell him what you told us.

He's immature,that's why he doesn't get it

Reeses-pieces777 · Answer

he doesn't sound like a nice guy.

if I was going out with a guy who keeps making fun of fat girls, well excuse me 'genius' but when a girl gets pregnant she is fat, that's reality and if he's the type who'll make fun of me when I'm fat with his child, I'll smack his face in 2.

it's not a nice thing to make fun of fat people

ncmiranda13 · Answer

he doesn't get it because you haven't told him. if you told him he would probably feel more hesitent when speak about plus szes and hell at least think about what's hurts you when he says these things. and if he gets mad its his fault for making you self conceious about your body

ComicStix · Answer

Aww he's a meanie! Anyways, I would flip the situation. Whenever, he makes fun of some fat person if I were you I would say, "well what if I was that person or what if I was that weight, would you still say that?" He won't want to insult you, and in turn will stop insulting those poor fat people.

rando-shi · Answer

hahahahahahahahahhaha

your boyfrind feel sorry for the chairs of the when the fat woman are sitting in but I feel sorry about the ground who is holding them most of time , I don't know how the concreat does not break

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah

PorterPotty · Answer

The guy's a jerk. I'm not sure what he's trying to accomplish...maybe he is trying to make you feel good about yourself, or something...or maybe he just thinks it's funny. Either way, he's an idiot. Also, the things he's saying imply that he's only looking at girls for their bodies...which implies that he only likes you for your body. If that's all he's paying attention to then there's no way he's worth your time or effort...In my opinion, I'd say you should break up with him.

Anonymous · Answer

My ex boyfriend used to make fun of other people as well, male, females, African americans, whites, it upset me as well. I think it is very rude and immature, and possibly shows some insecurities on his part. It makes HIM feel better about himself to put other people down.

He MIGHT grow out of it, but prob won't change anytime soon, so you either have to accept it or get a new bf. Good luck Hon

cristinaboss · Answer

Just be completely honest with him. If he says he loves your body, he means it and you shouldn't have to worry about it.

wellshii · Answer

Just tell him to stopp,if that doesn't work,and if it really p*sses you off so much where you have to leave him,then do it.no he's not insecure about himself,and doesn't think your fat.he's just a guy who makes fun of fat chicks.simple as that.

martyfellow · Answer

What about the earth's gravitional field that she's upsetting with the intense gravitational effect she projects?  Your boyfriends is forgetting about that!

bnwsmile · Answer

He sounds like a shallow jerk that doesn't know how to keep certain comments to himself. I wouldn't be with someone like that. Let him know how you feel and that he should grow up. ~bnwsmile

darkknight1x · Answer

Either leave that guy or tell him to start changing or your leaving. He still acts immature. He's most likely going to make fun of you if you get pregnant with his kid and make jokes behind your back.

Anonymous · Answer

he doesn't think your fat. If he did think that he wouldn't be dating you. He is probably plenty happy with you body.

I hear girls trash talk guys all the time...so come on. We should have are opinions too.

Anonymous · Answer

The problem is he hasn't discovered the speed of stupid...when he does he will understand.   Chances are he might not, so maybe accept him as he is or trade him in for a smarter model...

wohoo47 · Answer

what a jerk! he's probably insecure about HIMSELF. and no boyfriend should ever make you feel uncomf about yourself... ugh.. you can do better! :)

starbucksme · Answer

tell him EXACTLY how you feel, don't hold anything back, tell him that its the rude comments he makes about other girls, and that you are worried he will think that way about you...

you diserve a guy that you feel comfortable with

fyi

ifeelsmall · Answer

Whenever he makes those comments just tell him that he's being rude and disrespectful.

papasmurf · Answer

haha than its his loss, sounds like kharma

iamsoconfused · Answer

hes shallow minded full of lust

DocClassic · Answer

...are you fat?

jackieh · Answer

drop him now. you want a kind guy.

Anonymous · Answer

Get a new BF!

My boyfriend constantly makes rude comments about fat girls?

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