My best friend and ex boyfriend are talking behind my back. What should I do?

[Firework344]

Back story: i broke up with my boyfriend a month ago due to lack of communication and not feeling loved, wanted and needed. This June of 2017 would have been two years for us.

My best friend told me about this game Summoners War so i played it and i got addicted fast. Told my boyfriend when we were together and we all played together. At some point he got annoyed with her and they fought and she hated him. He couldn't take her complaining so he deleted her as a friend on game. I got caught in the middle and it was a huge mess. I even explained they didn't need to be friends, just keep things mutual.

Fast forward to now and i just found out that apparently the two of them have been talking behind my back. Even after i told my best friend we broke up she still talked to him. She's getting married in July so I know it's not more than friends. But at the same time I don't understand.

I was shocked/surprised when she told me and couldn't fully take in and react cause we were in a group of friends. Now that its settled in i am really angry and upset at both of them and I don't understand why even if all they talk about is the game... I don't understand and I don't know what to do or say. They both did not like each other over the game and now suddenly their friends behind my back? Wtf?

Updates

+1 y

So i talked to her and she got all defensive and didn't apologize. After everything and other stuff she has done in the past she is no longer considered my best friend. I'm done trying.

[Anonymous]

I see all these posts about EXes... Why does my ex not like me? This and that about an ex... should we get back together...

An EX means.. in the past. In my life, after any break up, an EX is out of my mind. I move on almost immediately and never think of, try to contact, check up on, etc.

Breakups happen for a reason...

I'm not talking about someone who moved away... I'm talking about relationships that ended due to cheating, abuse, incompatibility and such. an incompatible person will still be incompatible. An abuser only gets worse. Promises "to change" are always lies.

Who CARES about an EX? Who cares about what an EX thinks of them? I see people who whine about an ex spreading rumors or posting negative things on social media. Who cares? Their opinion should not matter at all. They are an EX... the past. No longer involved with you.

Then "breaks"... what's that all about? all this is is an admission you can't commit in a relationship. Taking a vacation from a relationship isn't going to fly.

ALSO... getting back together after a breakup.. or chasing someone to get back together... sorry folks, the same issues are gonna be there.

"But I still love hm/her" So? That doesn't mean THEY love you back. There was a reason the relationship ended.

This "closure" What's that about? No such thing... So what? It's over.. there is your closure.

Move on... where you found one guy/gal, there will always be more. Everyone goes through MANY breakups in their lives. This EX is just on in a long line of future exes. That is life.

Be well and be realistic.

[Firework344]

First of all MY BEST FRIEND is talking to him NOT ME! Trust me i put my past behind me i deleted him on facebook and everything!!! MY BEST FRIEND is the one who brings up the past! NOT ME! I've been trying to move on! So don't go getting all high and mighty and back off! If you don't have any helpful advice to give! Then shut up!!

[Opinion Owner]

wow... someone is getting pissy today!

[Bad_Man55]

I think they were always a form of friends. weirdly when a girl annoys a guy it is just sexual frustration if he finds her attractive.. I am assuming they had a spat and go the negative energy out and now have connected.. only thing you can do is speak your mind. if it is that serious to you and she is a really good friend she should back off

[Firework344]

I think she would back off i asked her to. I just need to work myself up to it

[Bad_Man55]

she is your friend you should be able to. your bigger concern should be she is your friend and didn't ask if you were ok with it

[Firework344]

You have a good point.

[Bad_Man55]

I hope it works out for you

[Firework344]

Thanks

[Anonymous]

Are you really 28 years old, addicted to video games, and upset because your ex is talking to one of your friends after a break-up that occurred because you weren't getting enough attention? I feel like this is something 15 year olds might disagree over. Bottom line: once you break up with someone, their social life should no longer concern you.

[Firework344]

I dont play the game anymore. I gave a background story, I can't say everything about my ex and i on here there's a lot. I'm not the one acting like a 15 year old my friend did when she bickered over the game with my ex, it was stupid and childish. And ur right my ex'a social life shouldn't concern me but i now i find out he is talking to my friend and yea that hurts. So stop dishing on me. I asked for advice thats all. Thats all it shud be

[Opinion Owner]

The same thing happened to me when I was 17; went through a break up and he immediately asked out a friend of mine. That did hurt. So I am sorry that happened to you. Maybe just distance yourself from her for a little while?

[Firework344]

She is leaving to go home tomorrow so I won't see her again till July so it won't be a problem to do that

[Opinion Owner]

Do you have another friend who you can spend time with?

[Firework344]

Yea one but she's typically busy. We do have a fun night coming up this Tuesday which i am looking foreward to. She's been more of a friend to me than my "best friend" if i can even still call her that

[Opinion Owner]

Well, that's good! I hope she keeps you distracted. Maybe you can talk to her about your break up and your less than stellar friend.

[Firework344]

Yea i will

[Opinion Owner]

That's good. Sorry I was rude before. Hope everything works out for you!

[Firework344]

It's okay. You helped after. I needed to vent. And thanks. I'll update this post when i figure things out

[Opinion Owner]

Okay, sounds good! :)

[Robsinsf53]

That's just life, you've got a better understanding of your so - called best friend. Keep things you want secret away from. them.

[Robsinsf53]

I don't blame you. Best "friendship"? ends sometimes in the stupidest of ways over the stupidest things. In a nutshell, my best friend * went and got a mustang (used) and brought it to my house to show me. I ask him to go to store and get some beer. Gets back, we drink, and he gets ready to leave. Car won't start, calls AAA, $250.00 to tow. This is all my fault because I "made" him get beer. Haven't talked since. This happen to be 23 years ago! OH WELL!!

[Firework344]

That does sound like a stupid reason to end a friendship over

[Robsinsf53]

Yeah, his loss though. I'm a loyal friend to have! Maybe he's just pissed at Ford and I'm a Chevy Dude! lmfao!

[frxsncts]

Probably isn't your best friend then I guess?

[Firework344]

She has been since high school but lately she hasn't been a friend at all. My ex had trouble with the whole communication and now i find out he's been talking to my "best friend" behind my back even if it is about a game it's still talking and was hidden from me. I'm super upset and angry and in tears. I feel betrayed and hurt

[frxsncts]

Talk to her! If you don't feel she is standing up for you then it's time to move on. I was bullied in highschool and my best friend stood up for me and we haven't spoken in two years now. Differences creep in it's natural🙂

[Firework344]

I need to calm down and think things through before i do something i'll regret... but she's done shitty things tkme before... and i feel she really crossed the line

[frxsncts]

Never make a decision without sleeping on it and I hope you find a friend who can be a true support :)

[Firework344]

Yea if i can fall asleep. No one else is around to talk to and i needed to vent somewhere and get some advice otherwise i won't sleep at all

[frxsncts]

Well If you need to talk I'll stay on the lookout on this thread. I have my own issues recently so I understand when you have stuff you can't confide your family and friends in

[Firework344]

I'm starting to calm down thanks to getting some advice on here. I needed to vent. So I appreciate your input and help. I'll keep you updated

[frxsncts]

I hope you will be able to sort this mess out

[Firework344]

Me too :(