What do women contribute in a relationship?

[gtex1991]

From observation it seems a man puts a lot in a relationship than a woman. A man is expected to:

lead

be strong

be protective

be decisive

to provide

make the woman happy and keep the attraction

then he has to deal with a woman's constant drama and test to further prove his a man

I've see from female friends making list about what a man should be or they are looking for but there's nothing of equivalence about women.

Also during breakup it is mostly the man's fault, there even females who refuse admit there in the wrong.

So what do females contribute besides sex, and maybe taking care of their men?

[Anonymous]

im kind of shocked by this question because its 2010 and women have rose to power and stand equal to men in our society. Women support men, they motivate them to achieve their ambitions anything and whatever they may be, they encourage men to follow the right path and expect an equal support system in return. Women like lovey dovey things and want to show their love for men, to show how much they appreciate him, and make him cupcakes, cook him dinner, buy him gifts may be that sexy new jacket he really wanted, a new watch, cologne. A woman is there for you when all other female friends bale you out. She is pretty much your best friend. You can't have a relationship if you don't have the friendship, and within a friendship there is always equality. Just like you go hang out with your buds and chip in buy food and drinks, so does the woman, or you can take turns each date you go out. A woman takes time to dress up for you to make sure she looks good, takes hours out of her day to do her hair some light makeup and smell good all to be pretty for that one man she truly loves. Women want to get married someday and have kids, they want to have YOUR kids. That's obviously a way of putting in more work than any man can ever do, to be a mother...its not just the 9 months of carrying a baby, its a lifetime commitment of making sure the kids eat, sleep, go to school, learn, make friends, are healthy, take them to the doctor etc, a mother does so much work that a husband can't always fulfill, and its simply due to laws of nature. The man has to only provide half of his income, half of his time and half of his genes (for the kids), same goes for the woman. My parents both work and pay the bills equally, most couples chip in 50/50 and lead successful lives, I don't know why you assume women don't do much. If you look back at your childhood, your mom probably did much more work and put in more time and heart into raising you as a son than your dad did. When we all had stomach aches or fevers, its the mother to wake up 4 in the morning to be there for her child. Women go to work have successful careers and raise kids at the same time, they have to be a daughter first, then a good wife and then a good mom simultaneously, and you men only complain about being forced to provide?!? please. just stop your bullsh*t and give women more credit.

you probably just dated the wrong girl if you had such a bad relationship and you obviously need more experience and have to get out there and meet the right kind of woman.

ironically, me and my ex broke up over this, because he said he was intimidated by me, and that he didn't feel strong enough next to me, because I'm independent have a good job and am serious about school and such, and he instead wanted a girl who was a bit retarded so he can show off his manliness to her. What has the world come down to? sigh.

[socalgamehater2006]

Have you heard of a girl asking a guy out before?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I have and it was awesome

[WiseCypher]

It all depends upon the scenario and the situation. I would provide for a woman under certain conditions. One, she must be responsible for the children or young adults she brings into the scenario, if the only children she has are from my seed, this does not apply, meaning I accept full responsibility of my seeds. I also accept others children but this is based upon harmony being maintained with the mother as i could not control adversity side effects. Two, she must communicate in a respectful manner not cutting me off when it is my turn to speak. Three she must be intelligent. Four, she must have great sex. Five she must be spiritual not religious. Six Great Cooking. Seven , Well read.

[almondz]

I am a little disturbed about your question. It really depends on the relationship and the person's lifestyle. For example, if the boyfriend (honestly) works a lot and still manages to take his girlfriend out then of course he'll automatically think he does more for the relationship than the girl, and vice-versa.

Women have to make the man happy and keep up with their appearances, and women have to do a lot more than men do. All men have to do is shave and keep their hair looking nice. Us women have to do tons more like shave/trim/wax all areas of body hair including eyebrows, bikini areas, etc. We also put on makeup, smell good, dress nice, have sex appeal, and all those other things to try to attract a man. And THEN it has to continue if we want to keep him interested.

Women get called b**ches or sluts while men get props or that extra notch on his bedpost when he sleeps around. Men don't have to deal with cramps and blood coming from their penis every month, and if you guys did I'm sure they'll be complaining a lot more than we do.

During breakups the men cause it most of the time and it also depends on the situation. Men hide their emotions and lack communication, and that's what causes breakups most of the time (other than infidelity). Men, it's OK to show your emotions to your girl! Especially if you're really serious about being with her. Hiding your emotions or lacking communication will make your girl think that, A.) You aren't serious about the relationship, B.) You don't care, or C.) All the Above. Women have to take a lot of B.S. from men and you see women venting on the internet a lot because like I said, men try to hide their emotions so you won't catch a lot of them seeking advice online. Girls also communicate more with their friends/family about their love lives than men do. When men do talk about their relationships, it's mostly only about sex or what their girl WON'T do. Men create drama just as bad as a woman.

The point of this long answer is not poke fun at the men, but to poke fun at your crazy question. It's apparent (or maybe I'm assuming) that you're a single, young man without children or any real responsibilities. All I can say to you is to look at how your mother is and how she managed her household (we know most men love their mom). Your question is kind of disrespectful to women. I feel bad for any woman that gets into a relationship with you (if you let her). Not saying men don't go through a lot, but you have to admit that women have do deal with far more than men do. And that, Mr. GTex, is a fact.

[Crowcrow]

I actually took a bit of time out to make this account just to respond, because this had me in quite the emotional state, more-so confused than actually angry or anything, so there's no need to take this too seriously. Firstly, this question is a double-edged sword, so I guess what shouldve been asked would be "what do -you-, as a woman, contribute to the relationship besides etc". Moving on, you're contradicting yourself highly, as you first stated that it depended on the relationship, but saying women have to deal with far more goes against that highly, which is in no way true. Women have to make the man happy, and that works the other way too. Appearance? No, you dont -have- to keep that up, some guys like natural women, and there's natural women out there that aren't single to prove that. Not even going to bother with "men cause most of the breakups". Communication problems differ from person to person, you're disturbed but also being slightly sexist - word limit

[Crowcrow]

Continuing -- Whether the question is disrespectful or not, your answer still bothers me a bit to be truthful, and it seems nobody's bothering to respond so here I am. Also, you're free to assume whatever about the original poster, but just remember it's not fact, and that their lifestyle, etc, is completely irrelevant. But back to the point, I can't speak for everyone, but the guys i'm around constantly do not talk about their relationships, or only ever speak good about their significant others. Women talk about their relationships too, everyone does it, whether venting or praising. We dont have to deal with cramps, and blood, etc, but that's quite an unfair card considering that's just nature, and we have nothing to do with that. However, if we were to discuss that, keep in mind that depending on the woman, that may be a very emotional time, consisting of mood swings etc, things that their "man" has to deal with, such as the scolding, agression, depression, or whatever. - Word Limit

[Journeyman11]

Uhm, I'm sorry, but how does having to deal with stuff, like your period, contribute anything to a relationship?
What does being called a hoe for sleeping around have to do with a relationship?
And what in the world makes you think that men have to make up for that?
And if men don't show their emotions, how do you even know we don't have to go through as much as you do? Do you even understand what a privilege vulnerability is?
And you take care of yourself physically to serve YOURSELF, not men, but because YOU want to look good, be looked at, etc.
That's like saying you owe men because they have a good job, and they only acquired that job because they want to attract women.
This is riddiculous. Men owe you nothing for your suffering.
Otherwise women owe quadriplegic men sex or something X'D that's nonsense.

[chromosomevenus]

Wait until you have a real relationship you will understand.

[blufrenzy93]

You said it >.>

[tex151]

If you get into relationships where you are constantly thinking what the hell I am I getting out of this, I have to do everything and I have to pay for everything, this chick is making me broke, then your dating the wrong chick. Or your letting her push you around and if you don't say anything, she will take advantage of you.

Ask any chick, now they won't all admit it, but some will, ask them say if you took advantage of a guy once, as in you whined about something, and in order for you to stop, you asked him if he would buy you something, and he did would you do it again? The answer is yes they will. Think of a woman as a kid, they will try and test you, and if you let them get away with stuff, then will constantly do that until you tell to stop, and the only way to keep from doing those things is you have to tell them up front, not going to happen, and if they cry and whine about it to bad, so sad, I could care less.

So now your thinking damn, all that work just to be happy, might as well be single all my life. The truh of the matter is if you find the right chick, and yes there are tons of them out there, they will pretty much satisfy your every need, and all you have to do is ask them, say your back itches, just ask her hey will scratch my back, and she will, if your thirsty ask her if she will get your a drink, she will. The list goes on and on, hell if you say will you scratch my balls, she will.

As far as sex goes oh man, you will be surprised on what things women are willing to do for you when it comes to sex. Think of something cool, and she will let you do it or consider doing it.

Now as a man you have to put on many hats, and yes sometimes we don't want to, for example the bug kill in the middle of the night, the protector, it may require you checking the door to see if it's locked 10 times a night. And the list goes on.

Your chick will be there for you when everyone else has bailed on you, she will notify you that what your wearing is either out of style or something a bum would wear, by saying are you really going to wear that, she's got your back on that don't worry. So all and all a chick does a lot more than you think, and having a girlfriend is not bad at all.

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

Congrats! You have just come to the realization that a lot of men never do. Most guys get in relationships where the girl doesn't bring anything to the relationship. Here's the thing though, and it's a very sad thing - a lot of girls have this mentality that they don't have to contribute anything to the relationship. They think that all they have to do is be pretty and look good. The reason they think this is that, of course, if they make themselves pretty, they'll have guys all over them... which is true, but those guys won't be sticking around with them for much long.

What women contribute in a relationship depends on what kind of girl you want, and that's different for each guy. On the outside, girls may be the same, but deep down they're each different.

I think it's easy to determine what a girl brings in a relationship. What you have to ask yourself, is this:

"If she wasn't pretty, and you didn't find her attractive, would you still want to be with her?"

If the answer is no, then obviously everything she's bring to the table is purely based on her looks.

[bBop345]

That's not a very fair assessment. Maybe a girl only has her looks to bring to the table because the boy doesn't like her in the first place and only wants to user her for sex. Also, many girls probably think they only have to look pretty because they don't have a lot of experience in relationships. They're actually a lot more work than they appear to be.

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

Please read over what I said again. What I said wasn't an assessment. I simply explained a few facts. I said SOME think all they have to do is look good, because that's the truth - it's only SOME, and I tell you right here it has nothing to do with how much relationship experience they've had. It's more to do with how easy they are able to get things. Seriously, if you got asked out all the time without even having to DO anything, why would you bother trying to do anything else?

[Alecu]

I know I am late, but this is so true. There is so much a guy has to do to maintain a relationship and so much crap that they have to deal with. Women are like spoiled brats. If anything goes wrong in the relationship the guy is the first one to blame.

I meet some girls that were so stupid that my head hurts just thinking about it. They denied such obvious things that you would have to the retarded not to notice them. And pretending like the did not happen or twisting things to make it seem like they are right.

[babet]

I agree with honeybaby - you may want to reconsider the girls you're around. I've had some friends that expected men to treat them like a princess and they never did anything but look good...I'm not a fan.

I'm wondering the same thing you are but on the flip side. I pay half the bills and I'm expected to do all the housework. WTF?

Plus, I don't need any guy to lead me anywhere...make women happy? Seriously? After a few months, guys don't seem to care or try at all. Come home, lay on couch, hand in pants Al-Bundy style and ask, "what are we eating?" which means, "what are you cooking when you're done vacuuming, laundry, cleaning questionable stains from the bathroom, etc.?"

It's been awhile since a guy has had to stand his ground as a man and protect me against rushing tide of Viking Warriors.

Or since he has had to roam the fields with his mad hunting skills and wrangle up a meal.

I am dumbfounded that no one else is upset by that fact...men don't have to hunt or defend their land (not the way they used to, anyways) ... they don't even go to the grocery store or install their own door locks. Yet women are still expected to cook and clean and support and stand behind her man.

Sometimes I wish I were a lesbian. Or an amoeba.

[bnwsmile]

When you have kids you're expected to work, clean, and tend to all of their needs too... Its frustrating to say the least...

[gtex1991]

You are right it isn't fair but since when has relationships been faire, not using this as an excuse but no matter how people think we have evolved, people will return to wants in their DNA

don't mean to get personal, but is you man as good as you expect, would upgrade to something better if a chance came

[alexcomo95]

Why do you expect men to be unable to do stuff for themselves?

[SmarmyMarsh]

Lists are stupid. Any girl who makes a list of traits she absolutely NEEDS in a man, and wouldn't think of deviating from, has no idea how to make a relationship work and has never really been in love. To be honest, they're mostly just preferences.

I do feel like it's become acceptable for women not to be held accountable for their actions. There's always blame to be placed on both people in a break up to varying degrees, but more importantly there's something to be learned from it that I feel like women avoid when they shut out that accountability. (If you think this applies to you, it probably does.)

A woman is supposed to be your partner in everything you go through; she's supposed to provide for a man a type of emotional intimacy he can't find from anyone else, supporting him in ways no one else can, making him stronger knowing he has her in his life. Because of that, protecting her wouldn't be your "job" as much as an instinct when you have someone that close to you. If she loves you she'll probably try to make you happy the same way you do her, whether that involves stroking your ego or baking you cookies. It's pretty special when someone knows just about everything about you and not only tolerates you, but loves you.

Decision making should be a partnership; honestly, who wants to be led around like a child all the time? Maybe a girl will like a man to be a bit overly assertive in the beginning, but that doesn't mean she doesn't want to play any part in her own relationship. It would probably work better if it started off on equal footing so you don't wind up with a girl who'll act the way you said.

And sex. Don't forget that she's probably well aware that you're a man and will notice a lot of other women, so yes, she does have to keep up the attraction at least as much as the man does.

In conclusion, date your best friend.

[honeybaby808]

Depends on what kind of girl you're dating. In a REAL relationship. Women are supposed to offer, support, love, friendship, trust, and to be the one female you feel the most comfortable around. Not all girls expect the guy to do everything. Plus, sex works for both genders. A woman doesn't have to please a guy if he's not willing to please her back.

In my last relationship, my ex and I were very equal in our relationship. Sometimes he would pay, sometimes I would. He would pick what to do and sometimes I would pick what to do. The biggest thing in a relationship is to just be equal, in my opinion. I feel that girls put too much pressure on guys to be like what's on TV. It's just too unrealistic.

If you're going after girls who expect you to do everything, then maybe you should find different girls to date.

[gtex1991]

So why did you break up with you ex

[honeybaby808]

We broke up because of College and Graduation. It was a tough decision for both of us, but we figured if we break up now, we can maintain our friendship throughout senior year & through college. We're still best friends and we plan to keep it that way.

[Marieauguste]

Whoa wish my break up ended that way but he never called until the very end ;-;. You answer well for an (under 18) :P My relationship was one-sided. all on me ._. Dumped him

[honeybaby808]

Boys will be boys. I'm glad to know that you dumped him. Relationships should definitely not be one-sided.

Thank you Marieauguste. lol.

[selfishstars]

Wow, um, what do I contribute to my relationship?

- companionship

- intelligent conversation and someone to listen to him/someone who he feels comfortable to talk to about anything

- sex, intimacy, friendship, love, trust

- cooking, cleaning, etc.

- finances

- support when my partner is going through a tough time or had a bad day

- making him happy and keeping the attraction

- contributing in decision making

- an activity partner

etc.

And he provides all of these things for me in return as well.

If you're in a relationship with someone who does not contribute at all to your relationship, then maybe you're with the wrong person. A relationship shouldn't be one-sided.

[Killfest400]

Those last two sentences are all that needs to be said for this question. Good job.

[chettah-two]

dont be bitter about women my friend..

Alright basically what do they bring that you can't get from other guys...

And from a biological point of view..

Women bring: In that order

RESPECT (means you are doing your duty as a man..).

LOYALITY.. (because lets face it, they is always someone else willing to f*** her.. her loyality to you is important.).

EGO BOOST (not in a vanity way, but they make you feel like you can do anything...).

SEX

If the woman isn't providing ALL of them (sex in reasonable time..) and you are providing all your manly duties, then she is no good for you...

[cacapisu]

I see your point, you were just in love with the wrong person. Some girls or boys just take anything for granted and their partner is with too in love to see that. And after you "wake up" you're like "WTF!"

The right woman is like your diamond, you got to protect it at any costs, make her happy and keep her interested. You got to ease her life by making her happy, being a girl is hard enough for her. She completes you... she makes you feel alive... she gives you a reason to live...

But sometimes you just get it wrong and you are ready to give you life for someone that's putting pressure on you and it's there just until someone better than you comes their way. Which is fair on one side but unfair on the other, but that's this game called "Life" that we got to play and there are no rules..

[Marieauguste]

Whoa awesome answer, and I'm not agreeing because I'm a chick

[bBop345]

Have you ever been in a relationship? If not, it opens your eyes to the reality that boys and girls are a lot alike in terms of their needs. Everyone wants and deserves respect, attention, and honesty. Sex too, of course. Also, if girls had nothing to offer in a relationship, then boys and girls would never date. They would just go around having sex with each other, which is not the standard.

[gtex1991]

You denial these things don't exist, a lot is put on guys than girls. a girl is likely to move if she's bored and a better opportunity presents itself instead of working with her partner to make things better

[bBop345]

Guys do the same thing. If he were never into a girl in the first place, he just moves on to the next girl. That exact thing just happened to me.

[moviedude714]

great question!, I wish they would contribute more, because I don't like women who are just along for the ride, expect me to lead all the time because it makes me feel like I am being used, taken for granted.

[honeybaby808]

That is why you do not date those women. A good relationship would not make you feel that way. Find a girl who truly appreciates you and does NOT take you for granted.

[funnyjoke]

Well you just have to find a girl who you want to be strong for. You should do all those things out of love for her, not because you just want to keep the relationship going. When I was younger, I was desperate for sex, and I'd date girls who I didn't really care about, and try to force myself to be all those things. You will never be able to keep it going or be truly happy with her, if the true feelings aren't there. You have to not just physically, but emotionally connected to her.

[Littletad]

Read this. In my opinion, women bring much more.

link

[nigelb]

Men and women are not equal never have been and never will be so let's not try and make the impossible happen.

Women can have a long list of what they contribute and criticise men fr what they do not but just imagine it is 3 am glass breaks down stairs and you hear footsteps. Who is going downstairs to possibly risk their life for you? Is your life not worth some cokking, cleaning and whatever else in return?

[Anonymous]

Im sorry, I think this person is just looking for an argurment.

[gtex1991]

I think you have nothing to contribute or you must be one of those girls

[moraff12]

I totally feel where your coming from man, and not to be a d*** but it sounds like you just got out of a bad relationship...

Not all women are like that man, most aren't at all