Sleeping in the same bed with a gay friend?

[Natascha003]

Hi, my close friend from college came to visit me and we had so much fun and I got a little drunk I slept over his hotel in the same bed. I didn't think it was big deal because we slept in the same bed before. He's gay and never tried anything with me so I'm super comfy with him. I told my boyfriend and he freaked out as if I cheated on him or something. He was pissed about the whole thing. Don't you think he's over reacting?

[vonasaurus]

as a straight woman with a gay bff (we've known each other since we were 18), i would see no issue with it; he likes men, therefore he's not interested in doing anything with me.

however

from your boyfriend's perspective, you shared a bed with another dude. and, because you aren't gay (meaning that you like men), he's treating it as though you cheated.

is your man overreacting? yes.
but should you have slept in a separate bed? also yes.

[Natascha003]

I see your point. Trying to make sure I see his side too

[KadBitty]

https://youtu.be/eJipZUWchmM

Maybe he thinks you're lying lol.
Really though, lots of guys wouldn't want their girl in the same bed as another guy wether he's gay or straight or even asexual. Neither of you are wrong in feeling how you do, and both sides have a right to feel how you do. Just try to understand each other more in this situation.

[collegerules]

My best friend is a gay male and we both are 23 and we both been friends since 9th grade. He's overreacting a little but me and my bestie a little different he slept on the floor while I took the bed on our drunk nights lol but also we sleep on opposite ends of the bed when we fall asleep. Just talk to your man and get him to understand

[Sasisen]

He's overreacting in my opinion.
If you're friend is gay then there's no issue.
I think you should talk to your boyfriend and ask him why it upsets him. Him:"he's a guy". You:"so? He's gay". Him:"doesn't matter". You:"why doesn't it matter?" And so on. My point is exhaust his logic until he's stumped and realizes there's no problem

[shawn_frost]

he does have a reason to be pissed, but he doesn't understand your friendship with the GAY FRIEND (it's sexist). I think it's your job to explain him about your friend, but I think he will understand. but not until u tell him

[Natascha003]

Yeah i told him. He said he doesn't care gay or not it's an issue

[shawn_frost]

well
it means your guy doesn't like you sleeping with other men
gay or not
he does seem a bit unreasonable
he is overreacting but it's not senseless

[Natascha003]

What I notice is that we're both different. And we both had different past with relationships. And sometimes your past relationships makes you less open or understanding in my opinion

[shawn_frost]

true
and I think that is the right explanation to his behaviour
the experiences he's had had or his perceptions do have a role to play in these emotions of his

[Kyuum]

I don't think it's so much about what we think, but what he thinks and how you feel about it.

Ask him about it and have a talk about how what you did upsets him, let him vent a bit of his feelings and thoughts rather than just having a freakout because it sounds unresolved between the two of you.

[Natascha003]

I'm trying to give him his space right now. Because he's really upset. I will try to talk to him after he cools down

[Malikai96]

I wouldn't be to keen on my boyfriend sleeping in the same bed as a female friend, but I wouldn't have a fit or anything over it if it was just sleeping and nothing more. If it were reversed and I was sleeping with the friend, he would probably want to knock me upside the head with a brick. Very protective, but I don't do things like that so there's no issue really.

[MermaidMotel]

Agreed. It's kind of weird to sleep in the same bed with someone else you're not interested in, in my opinion. I would never sleep in my friend's bed... especially my guy's friends bed. Even if he was gay.

[thelastvalkyrie]

It doesn't matter if he's gay or not it's about respecting the relationship and how it looks on the outside.

No one can tell if a guy is gay by the way that they look, it's all about the big picture which is sleeping in the same bed as a guy when you are already in a relationship

Would you be ok if your boyfriend told you he slept in the same bed with a woman that is a lesbian?

[ZSean]

I think he might be over reacting but he might be worried about possible drunk activities. Gay or not things can still happen out of curriousity

[Natascha003]

Yeah but relationships is about trust and honesty. And if I tell you nothing happened then that there shouldn't really be a problem. I understand a little mad but not pissed off

[ZSean]

I agree. I think he may have just been worried and over reacted

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't want my guy sharing a bed with anyone other than me. It has nothing to do with trust and is more about saving that sort of intimate arrangement for just us.

[iamloxley]

I agree. you have a lucky man!

[creepypanda]

It's a friend, and if you assured him that nothing happens, he should except that. Just because the friend is gay doesn't mean they automatically are going to make a move on you.

[AzureTortoise]

It's sleeping in the same bed as a platonic friend. Regardless of sexual orientation, it's up to a person whether or not they get jealous about it.
Me personally, I have nothing to fear from my partner's friends.

[ShortCircuit]

It's not cheating, but it was still extremely inconsiderate and disrespectful. He has every right to be upset.

[Izumiblu]

No... I don't think he's over reacting. But to each his/her own, if that's what you wanna do and you are ok with it then just say that's how things are gonna be, take it or leave it.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes your boyfriend is overreacting. If i had a girlfriend i would never
get mad cause she stayed over or went out with a gay guy friend
i believe also your boyfriend needs to place more trust in you too.

[April10]

No. I wouldn't want my boyfriend in bed with a lesbian. I can see why he's upset about it

[Rissyanne]

Yes... would he act like that if you slept in the same bed as a straight girl?

[BrittBratt2416]

gay or not would you really want him sleeping in the same bed with another woman?

[notallthere98]

He's definitely overreacting. He has no reason to be pissed.

[LandryBoy92]

no honestly the idea is think as if he did the same with a lez

[Natascha003]

The thing is it wouldn't bother me. As long as he told me that nothing happened. I think he's mad because one of his ex girlfriend left him for a friend and I think he fears that will happen with me

[LandryBoy92]

no its with every guy words dont mean anything guys are see it to belive it types and need the proof i bet 20$ if you had some type of seal on ur vag he would be ok as in proof that nothing whent inside

[oldoldold]

how whould you feel if he spend the night in bed with his smoking hot drop dead sexy lesbian friend? ?

[Natascha003]

It depends. What's their background? Why is he in bed with her. Did anything happen. These are the type of questions I would ask. I may be annoyed a little but if I trust you and you told me nothing happened then I will believe you.

[oldoldold]

some people have more exclusive rules. others don't trust.

time to have a chat about expectations. prepared to be wrong in his eyes

[Hawn84]

I think he is over reacting but does your boyfriend know this guy at all? If he doesn't know your friend I can kind of understand where he's coming from.

[TheWorldEndsWithYou]

I think it's just all about respect, I know many girls who wouldn't like it if their boyfriend slept in the same bed with a lesbian

[Anonymous]

A neurotic minority excepted, gay guys too can have a bi moment.

[Natascha003]

Yeah but I've know my friend for more than 6 years and in college I drank more and he was my closest friend. That's why Im so comfy with him

[Opinion Owner]

Whatever consenting adults want to do or not to behind closed doors is OK in my opinion.

[dev64]

yes and no. he's trying to protect you but is being jealous if your friends gay

[Anonymous]

Boyfriend isn't over reacting at all. You behaved like a tramp. He should dump you immediately.

[Natascha003]

Thank you for your opinion

[VanessaB]

A little sus... But hey, if you say nothing happened..

[SuccessfulHornDog]

He obviously doesn't like it

[momo770]

Yes he's being ridiculous

[Lithium65]

does your boyfriend know he's gay?

[Natascha003]

He does. What I realized is that I'm more open and free spirit while my boyfriend is not as open.

[Lithium65]

were you both clothed? did you cuddle/ have contact, or did you just share the bed without contact?

[Natascha003]

Yes fully clothed. It was a huge king bed. No contact.

[Lithium65]

that being the case, I think he's overreacting a bit.

[Natascha003]

I truly believe his reaction is coming from pasts relationships that didn't go so well.

[Lithium65]

... like most insecurities do.

[White0Rabbit]

nope

[Bleepasaurus_RexEwww]

It's fine