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Does your partner's past sexual life matter to you? (Page 2)
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Nope. As long as he’s clean. I’m interested in who he is now. Not who he dated before I knew him.
Definitely. I want to marry a virgin woman. I love the idea of sharing experiences for the first time together.
Doesn’t matter, don’t wanna know, don’t ask me and I won’t ask you
Not to me really for me all it told me is I have to be really patient and go at what I already told myself to go at her pace. I'm in no rush.
No because I love him. Sometimes it get Effie about it. But he’s older than I am.
They’re guys who are my age who has slept with more females than he has. Soooo yeah.
for me? i love her ! and nothing else matter to me and what im saying now , thats a lie !
it will effect me ! i won't tell her but at some point i will think about that !
I don't care about much. I care that their previous partners were consensual, of age and that they don't have any STDs. Couldn't care less about the rest.
I would want to know out of curiosity, not because I'd decide whether I want this person based on this information. However, I would prefer someone who's a bit more experienced.
Yes and No...
It all depends on the kind of person you are and the expected future of your relationship.
Everybody has a past. Nobody knows future, but we can build together with our partner.
People don't prefer to cheat or have multiple sex partners once they find out the perfect one in all aspects.
Yes, if she's had like from 0 to 3 im cool but if she's had 4 plus it's is gonna affect the relationship, girl houw do i know you don't have an STD and i feel it goes for us guys the same.
only matters if he's had an insane amount, then I'm going to question how he treats girls. and by insane amount, for me I'd say like over 40 would worry me.
It makes a difference when before i get into a relationship. If i already in it i can't complain because than i already made up my mind that it doesn't matter.
I myself am a virgin (No sex before marriage/Religious reasons) so I won't take a non-virgin as my partner unless something out of hand happened at her side (like rape) then I may think about it
why would you have to "think" about it.. apparently in this case she is the victim
I would think about it personality wise and other things
would u explain more?
Care to come private?
sure
Something about Xper lvl... can't send private msgs WFF?
yeah I dunno it gave me the same thing :/ :/
Well I'll try to make it short
I'm from Jordan (Arabian country) so mostly every girl of marriageable age is a virgin... Not being a virgin goes under three categories 1- A widow /2- got raped/ 3 - had sex illegally (Before marriage , which is haram for us Muslims) so I wouldn't mind cases 1 or 2 if I love/like the person but 3 is most likely a No-No so that's about it
I totally get you bcoz I'm egyptian :)
But there are more things to the subject like what if she lost it due to masturbation? and how would you be sure that she isn't lying to you if she said she got raped or smthing.. maybe she had sex and she is just telling u this. . or in that case u would let it go bcoz u trust her
Well there are so many "What if" situations that you really can't decide until you're there at the moment... in the end... its all about how much is acceptable to you and how much you care to let go of your ideals for the one you love
yeah I guess..
Doesnot matter. She should be just physically healthy and emotionally devoted to me
No, but it's definitely the less i know the better. No stds and no "oh, my ex used to do this one thing" and we're good.
I can say that it very important to guys and not at all important to me. So long as they are honest and faithful while they are with me.
no nothing past but the present if we are going to have a sexual relationship I believe both of us should go down and get complete physical check for any kind of STDs just to be on the safe side for both of us
No it wouldn't as long as the number isn't over 15 cause other wise your secretly a pornstar what would matter the most to me is how long ago your last encounter was & what sex means to them emotionally/mentally.
What does being a porn star have to do with having a lot of sexual partners? Doesn’t that make most guys porn stars then? 😂
It was a joke & most guys don't have as many partners as they boast
Yeah gotta make sure he does not got herpes, HIV, STD's and others.
No. What matters is that her sexual past has no consequences that I'll have to deal with such as having children or STDs.
Those who don't learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.
So yes.
Santayana
And that is supposed to mean? what exactly... ?
Repeat.. what? Enjoying consensual sex? Oh no, the horror...
@AmesJane
Are you stupid?
That wasn't what I meant.
If you learn someone's past behaviour, you could expect their future behaviour.
A girl that fucks around a lot, won't last long in a relationship before she screws it up.
A girl that has no history of sex or a very brief one, is more likely to be into long term stuff.
I don't wanna be heartbroken every time I get into a relationship. I don't think it's very hard to understand and accpet that. If you got no feelings, good for you. But I do have feelings, I'm not a fucking rock.
You're attributing character traits to behavior that aren't necessarily connected to said behaviour. Smn who has casual sex when single isn't per definition of the mindset that having different partners often is a must. It's also not necessarily so that people view casual sex in the same way as sex in a relationship. If someone "sleeps around" when single, they may just enjoy sex as a fun activity two people can consensually and with respect for each other enjoy, while sex in a relationship can have a deeper dimension to it. The motive for having different sexual partners isn't per default easily getting bored, disrespecting the people you sleep with, not being able to commit... Sex isn't the Alma Mater. It's not THE one and only indication of how someone might "last" in a committed relationship when they choose to engage in one. You're making a ton of generalised assumptions, which, if you want to go ask people if they're stupid for questioning that attitude, is rather.. ironic.
You just gave me an opinion on what you think about personality traits and their respective relation to a human's behavior. I have to disagree with your opinion. First of all, due to that lack of proof. And second of all, due to it being biased, since you are a girl and feel like you are directly insulted by what I said. Maybe because you take things very personally.
People who enjoy something will do it regardless of what others think about it. And if a girl or a guy enjoys sleeping around, they'll do it regardless of what others think about it. Even if that other is a partner.
They don't see it as disrespecting their partner or anything, they see it as having fun and pleasing themselves.
You think people who cheat feel bad for it? I bet your ass they don't. I once had a girlfriend once that cheated on me 3 times in a row in the same fucking month, and it was our first month together. We were planning on long term when it started. I've only forgiven her twice, because I wanted to see where this was going and why she was behaving this way. Turns out she can't really control it. She didn't mean to disrespect me or hurt me. But she just enjoys sleeping around and fucking as many guys as she could. I broke up with her, because I couldn't take it. She could do what she likes doing best. But it's better if she does it while she's single, so she doesn't hurt other people.
A girl like her can never really form a family, or have a long term relationship. She was diagnosed with clinical depression, which might be a big factor of why she behaves this way in the first place.
I don't hate her or anything, I did love her personality and still do, but I don't wanna be with her, because she isn't the one for me.
It is said that we understand new things based on what we learned from our past experienced. And that's how I am understanding things.
I hope you see where I am coming from.
*non-binary
Also, hi. I have casual sex when single. I've also been in two long term committed relationships, both of which were ended by my partner. One because he moved really far away for his career and didn't want to do long-distance and I was in the middle of college and didn't want to drop out to move with him, the other cause he fell in love with a colleague. I never cheated, nor did I "miss" having different sexual partners. My attitude towards sex is that it's fun, and okay to enjoy with whomever you click with on that front cause when you're both single it hurts literally nobody, and to be faithful in committed relationships. I don't have casual sex just for the sake of sleeping with however many different people. I'm also not "offended", I just think you're making a logical fallacy that causes your perspective to be extremely limited.
As I told you, I interpret new things based on my past experiences, just like anyone. I haven't had any experiences with girls like you. If you are honest about what you are saying, then you might be right about my perspective being limited and narrow. Maybe I need more experiences to increase the accuracy of my understanding of human behavior.
Thanks for sharing your opinion anyway and explaining to me how things are from your perspective. I might have learned something new from you. :)
Always a pleasure.
It's true that there are shit people in the world, and I'm sorry your experience so far has only been with them.
Yeah well... Not everyone is born lucky ! Some of us have to make their own luck. :)
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." -George Santayana
I was just agreeing very passively by letting you know who actually said the quote, George Santayana. CITE YOUR SOURCES has been drilling into my college brain.
Well... There are many different versions of that quote said by many different people !
I was just saying it as I remember it. XD
Yes. Virgin women are the most preferable (specifically the non-hedonist moral type). I would also tolerate 1 not count if she's an exceptional person and if that sex only occurred within a relationship -- but even that is pushing it. Any girl with more than that, or that has ever "hooked up" i. e. is a degenerate is absolutely not worthy and is damaged goods.
notch count*
If I'm told their much better then me, not that it has, but I doubt I'd be with her much longer, that shit would mess with your head
I don't find that a problem, as long as he is clean and doesn't do anything with anyone else but me while we are together I don't mind.
Not entirely, but if he talks about it regularly and compares me to his previous partners then I'm ditching fast.
My partner always asks i personally believe no because it just gets him angry and im called a slut and more
@whattheheck222 it's because he was a big man-whore in his past, that's why he get mad when you bring up his past. And that is why he start calling you names. Hope it gets better for you.
In most cases, it matters in a negative way. This is a new relationship, lets talk about the present and the future.
Not at all. But I'm an old guy and as such, the person that they are today is the only thing that matters to me.
Let me guess your age... 72?
@Poppykate 41
That’s not old!
@Poppykate It sure feels old! And you know what's even worse? Over the past few weeks, I think I've realized that I'm going through a mid-life crisis! I mean, you can't go through a mid-life crisis unless you're old!
Well a friend of mine had one at 30! So you can have one anytime. Just find a hot girl ( that a little younger then you 25-30) and enjoy!
@Poppykate Umm... that's actually what I've done and it feels really messed up. She's 24 and... It's a long story... I'd almost definitely be better off taking you out instead so if you're ever in the states... I'm just saying!
Lol 😂 what happened? Did it turn out she was actually only 17 and still in high school? Lol 😂
@Poppykate No it's just... more than I can fit in 1000 characters and speaks to the mid-life crisis nature of the whole thing. You see, through a quirk in the parenting plan, I didn't get to see my kids between Nov 14-24 so rather than stay home and sulk, I flew off to Florida for a week to hang out at the beach. I met a girl off of a dating site and she ended up being this dirt poor girl living in a ratty trailer who had recently gotten clean from drugs. She happened to just regain custody of her two young daughters ages 3 and 6 which were almost exactly the same age as my girls and we all spent every single day together. It was a week full of fun experiences, yet there was also a lot of arguing and drama too. It just made for a really intense week where I find myself unable to stop thinking about them (especially her girls) now that I've returned to my real life as I can't imagine any scenarios where things turn out well for her daughters.
That’s incredibly sad! But you have to think of youself (and your own children in this situation). It’s not a good environment. Yes, you might have made a positive impact, but it would have been an up hill battle, and it would have negatively impacted your physical and mental health as a result.
I know... It's just umm... I just have been thinking about them a lot. Like I feel like so much happened in that week and there are a million stories to tell from it. Like all of the arguing had to do with her feeling that I was criticizing her parenting. The very first time I met her kids, I picked them up in the rental car and I had rented two car seats. I noticed she had not strapped in her oldest and she told me that she never straps her in (WTF?). I told her that if they're going to ride in my car, then they have to be strapped in. It was just stuff like that. The day I took them to the zoo, Anna and I had hung out late the previous night but apparently after I dropped her off she went a little nuts on the weed and alcohol to where she didn't want to go to the zoo the next day. I pleaded with her to please let me take the girls because they were so excited. We went but she just had this awful attitude the whole time. You know, shouldn't we be talking about you and me instead?
Hmm.. it seems like you might have been interested in dating this woman because of her children, rather then because of her. Did you even like this woman? You talked so much about her children... but haven’t really said anything positive or loving about her. Maybe it was a good thing you did break it off. You want to be dating a woman for her personality, her kindness, etc, not only because she comes with children. Because the relationship will never move into anything long term... children grow up and move out.. then what do you have?
Well... I mean she has a great body in that super skinny drug user sort of way and that's fun. And she does have some endearing qualities like the first time I picked her up, she dropped this small piece of luggage in the trunk. It seemed odd to me and later on in the date I asked her what it was. It turns out she loves to draw and paint and it's a bag full of her art supplies. She brought it along just in case I didn't like her so that she'd have something to do. I mean, she's a shitty parent, but she has a good heart. She just isn't very capable at the moment.
And to me, it all goes back to the original question -- does a person's sexual past matter. When I think of Anna, I almost think that a person's past anything doesn't matter. Anna and I have no future together, but it's not because of anything in her past despite the fact that her past is completely insane due to sex, drugs, abuse, children, violence. I truly think that I'm at a point in my life where none of that matters.
Men find the oddest things endearing! 🙄 I mean why not just go home. It’s much easier to paint/draw from the home studio. and every guy wants to look at his girl and think ‘yep I love her drug user body! 😒) You say that her past ‘almost’ doesn’t matter. But you see no future.. why do you see no future?
I find it really insightful when you ask someone to describe the good qualities about their love one. Your right, if physical aspect is the first thing you think of, then you have no future. Secondly, you say she has a good heart... but is a shitty parent. A shitty parent is usually a selflish person. A selfish person is not a person with a good heart. Someone who has a good heart is someone who thinks of others, is kind without merit, gives without thought to self. She sounds more of a dreamer.
Oh, there's no future because of the distance and well... I'm pretty sure we're ultimately incompatible anyway. We argued a lot over her parenting and she actually canceled breakfast on the day of my flight out because of one such argument.
https://i.imgur.com/IacwAS7.png
But yeah, the distance between me and her is just a little bit less than the distance between Sydney and Perth. And you're right, she has some serious character flaws but this girl has lived an unbelievably rough life and I sort of give her a lot of leeway because of that. Like part of me thinks that maybe she would grow way beyond that if she had better circumstances and a lot of help. But I do hold open the possibility that I'm so forgiving because I think she's hot. If I didn't find her attractive at all, maybe I would judge her a lot more closely to the way you have.
Wow! I have no idea what you guys were fighting about. But when someone apologises, you accept it and more on. She was just being a bitch... but she can probably getaway with that crap because of her hot bod. I really must hit the gym so I can go around and treat men like crap, and have them apologise to me! 😒 Seriously, dude some some respect to yourself!
I hope you have a nice time at the gym and just so you know, that's a perpetually open stateside dinner invite that you have with me if you're ever interested. I'm just saying!
Lol 😂 cheers! 🍻 Good luck 😉
Such a heartbreaker... ;-)
Lol 😘
No its doesn't matters to me, because nobody is an angel, everybody has some sexual partner in their life before they met someone new at later stage, I have also , so I would mind if my girlfriend has sexual experience before
Yes you're sleeping with whoever they slept with and for guys you're eating the semen of whoever nutted inside her before you
WITH THAT PHOTO YOU ATTACHED DEFINITELY IT MATTERS!!!
Not really. Everybody has a past, I mean who doesn't? Unless they've lived so much cautiously. What matters is can you imagine your present and future without that person? If you can't, then that's the one
No, I try not to concern myself with his past relationships or past sexual life
Ya, i will inquire about it to make sure that she will stick with me. If she is clean and looking for something serious, then ofc i will go for it.
A girls past sexual life doesn't matter to me as long
as she's disease-free is all that matters to me.
At the beginning I thought it could be an indicator of how serious he was towards our relationship, but it hasn't affected our relationship at all.
yes, it matters to me a lot
I think it says a lot about a person
What you don’t know can’t hurt you. Too many people want to know about their partners past sexual activity. As long as they’re clean from sti’s and they use a Condon then I don’t see any issue. People are too nosy these days.
Condom*
As long as they are clean and are just as open minded as they were in the past... nope.
No everyone is entitled to a past so long as it stays there ex: no std’s, no stalker ex’s
I’d like to know just because your past is what makes you you. Wouldn’t matter to me though and I wouldn’t pressure someone to tell me.
Yes. If they were ever into casual hookups, I would lose interest. I'm only into girls that cherish relationships and their bond to their partner.
I'm curious to know when she's ready to share because I want to know all about her, but I don't judge people based on whatever the past contains.
Sometimes yes, if she tells me she had sex with many people there is higher chance of having stds.
With your sexual partner you should be clear in some aspects.
Depends. If She Gave It Up Faster With People That Matter Less To Her Then yes! Say she made me wait 6 months and Bobby a week. Now I feel that she cared more about him then i.
No it should never affect how I feel towards my partner
It is something I think about in the beginning of the relationship but I get over it if she's really nice.
As long as he’s clean&didn’t cheat, nope, doesn’t matter.
How many? Not really but I care if they got tested at all or how they treated them.
For me no its about the here and now and even if she had a very active sexual life i dont care as long as were happy
nah, the past is in the past. we can't move forward looking back, we'll just mess up our direction.
Yeah I mean if he has been with like...100 women... uhh I wouldn't want someone like that.
No my boyfriend has slept with more people than I have and I dont care.
As long as it doesn't effects your current relationship. But who am I to say. I never had a relationship to began with. 😂
Doesn’t matter. He had previous partners, so did I. It’s not going to be a discussion topic.
Not anymore it don't...
thumbs.gfycat.com/SafeScaredBeagle-small.gif
Honestly no she is allowed to sleep with who she wants and vice versa.
Yes and no. Obviously I need to know if I'm about to come into contact with an std or anything of that sort, but if I really like you, I won't shame you.
it doesn't as long as she is with me and no cheating dont care about the past of a girl
if a girl trys to get with me and i know that she sleeps around i will not go for it. I think that neither man or women should just sleep with random people every other week.
What about every third week? Lol