Boyfriend in law school.. help :(

[Anonymous]

Okay, I thought that me and him would be able to do this on our own, but I'm finding it very hard to cope with him being in his first year of law school.

I would like to know if another girl has a boyfriend in law school, or they are in law school so they can say what he's feeling too.

We've had our issues in the past, we're working through them... and I trust him.. But, he's been in law school, and has a friend there that he knew from his undergrad, thank god for him having a friend who's also in law school. He's made friends there already, and has joined a club, and is thinking of joining the academic fraternity... yes, I'm very proud of him.

But.. something I don't get is.. tonight he told me they had up on bulletins and stuff that there's a "welcome back law students" thing at some bar.. at 8pm, and they have free food and stuff... I guess.. a social thing to get to know people who are in law school too. What I don't understand is, how my boyfriend told me I shouldn't go.. or he doesn't really want me to go.. I figured if it's at a bar, it's public, why shouldn't I be allowed to go. I expressed my thoughts about this, and he said I would be allowed, but I wouldn't know anyone, and I would be left out considering it's for law students, and he doesn't want to feel bad for leaving me out, or leaving them out. I told him it was shady, and got p*ssed and it started a huge argument. I know it was wrong on my part, but does law school do that kind of stuff? Am I just crazy, or ... what?! I've never been in a big school before, college I should say.. so I don't know what they do, or what to expect. When I think of a Friday night at a bar with students, I think that people would have significant others, and students acting crazy being drunk having fun, not talking about school. He told me it's not like undergrad, it's a professional college, and most are older, and it's not what I'm thinking.

So, what should I do? How should I cope? Does this kind of stuff happen a lot?

I'm kind of needy, and we don't see each other too much, I wanted to see him tonight and tomorrow and he told me that he wants to see me and see his friends at the same time. He's a good guy, but I feel left out when he doesn't include me... :'(

Also, wanted to add that he has never been to one of these before, and maybe doesn't know what to expect and doesn't want to be the guy bringing his girlfriend along or something... and he said some other guy he was talking too said he doesn't want to bring his girlfriend either.. so .. idk

[Anonymous]

You need to give the whole clingy needy thing a rest.

Been to law school and dumped my ex for being so.

If you can't take the late nights and networking sessions WITHOUT you. Then you cannot BE with a lawyer plain-and-simple. They spend hours upon hours working (16 plus a day). Spend late nights at the office, etc.

When they aren't at the office or working - their social lives are confined to networking at mixers, benefits, etc. to get political/legal connections as well as cultivating clients. And NO they don't always include the significant other. Most of the time it is just easier to leave them at home.

The connections he is making while he is in law school are CRITICAL for the advancement of his career down-the-road. Believe me.

So by being all psycho-GF you are really shooting yourself in the foot. Once he graduates and you both are still together - you will not be able to cope - it gets MUCH worse - believe me. He is going to dump you faster than your head will spin if you keep being so "high needs".

Good luck.

[Asker]

Um, I'm not being a psycho girlfriend lol, he ended up not even going. I only see him once a week anyways, we don't see each other much so it's not like that's an issue lol.. shesh! I was just asking about the situation at the bar, and was wondering about them is all. So thanks for the input, but no need to bash me when you don't know the facts about me either. Thanks again. I do know that the people he meet are important! I don't have high needs, I just want to spend as much time as I can with him :)

[Longshot]

A good law school is demanding. Studets who get in are likely to be smarter and perhaps more sophisticated and my guess is it won't be a crazy drunk bash. It could end up being closer to a social cocktail party than a bar party.

However, if he has explained this to you and you understand it, I don't see the problem. He should take you. The only reason I see him not taking you is the one item you mentioned -- he hasn't been to one before. he may want to see what one is like first.

[Asker]

Yeah, he said he doesn't want to be "that guy" who brings a girlfriend if no one brings one or something haha.. but, he ended up not going anyways and me and him just went out and went to a local bar and got food :-) I'm guessing it's more of a cocktail party thing too, but idk! :p

[RainyDayMan74]

You should try to explain to him that your emotional needs aren't being met and that you are feeling left out of his life and it's upsetting you.

[mylinming]

understand him...dear...times will tell...