Ask him about it, but do it in a confident non-accusing manner, and don't assume. Sure it might look as though you found evidence of foul play (i. e. cheating), however it's entirely possible it could be some innocent reason.
For example, when I go to visit my parents or sister for a few days I some times don't pack enough clothes or perhaps they decide to do laundry and offer to throw in any clothes I want cleaned. Than days after I return home, I suddenly have an article of clothing that has me thinking were the heck did this come from.
I never come across a bra or (ahem) panties thankfully, but it's possible something like this might have happened to your boyfriend.
Also when you do ask, as mentioned before stay rational. Even if he hesitates or fumbles with his words, he might not realize it was even there or might be embarrassed.
Now this all assuming he's innocent, but the opposite is entirely possible as well. Remember in America it's "suppose to be" innocent until proven guilty. Just thought I'd add that last part in for the heck of it.
Put it on a table there he gonna se it and wait for reaktion. if no reaction only ask calmly like it is something you two should decide what to do with "I found this where the... in the... . Is it something I should be concerned about since it isn't mine?" then see how he reacts and say.
He might be worried, little stressed about it, maybe comes with funny things because the situation and fear of loosing you because of you believing he have done somthing he haven't done. (verry usual behavior when feelings are involved, people tend to be very narrow minded in those situations)
You will get bad gutt feelings if he is full of shit about the thing.
Don't listen to much about how he should react and say, most people get it wrong when they aren't in the situation them selves when it comes to that.
your own subconscious are a great lie detector.
Ok you should definitely talk to him. The key to working relationships is communication. You don't wanna be hanging on to that dumb mf if he's cheating on you but also don't wanna always worry if he's cheating and he isn't.
In the end. Don't you wanna get rid of him before it gets worse? Before you feel stupid? At least you don't wanna be wasting time. Or you don't wanna be feeling reluctant and dodgy to a innocent guy.
But I feel like he's cheating (sorry to say this). There is no way he bought a bra for you. Just cross that off immediately. Coz it wouldn't be in the laundry. It's bigger than ur bra as well so like nuh uh.
Just wait till he comes home and talk to him calmly. Yes if you find out he cheats u can totally lose ur cool. But not too much. Don't like throw something potentially dangerous at him or something
If he lives alone - whoever put that bra in the wash wanted you to find it. Probably the owner of the bra. So, if he lives alone... tbh you already have your answer on what’s going on.
If he has roommates, either they’re dicks, they had a girl over (but then why was the bra in his laundry), or it still belongs to someone he was fooling around with.
Let’s face it, it could be innocent, but how many people find someone elses bra’s in their SO’s laundry and the SO isn’t cheating?
Ask him, calmly. Bra in hand. But it’s unlikely that he isn’t intimately familiar with the owner.
The calmness isn’t for him, it’s for you. Do not give him the satisfaction of getting upset or any of that. Stay calm, get your stuff, leave and don’t look back.
It’s possible that it just got in with his laundry, if he shares washer and dryer machines with women. However, a bra would be a lot easier to spot in this case than a sock or a pair of underwear. I think this is most likely evidence of cheating. Talk to him first, but you’ll have to try to judge whether or not he’s being honest.
You might be one of the lucky few that has a male interested in exploring his feminine side. Maybe it's his bra. This is a perfect opportunity to enter a new world with an openminded male who isn't afraid of expressing his femininity. You could have the best of both worlds with a boyfriend and a girlfriend all rolled into one.
Bra and gel-forms are normal to use and create a lovely cleavage when sized properly. The package can be hidden by tucking, caging, or just some good tight panties, though I like seeing it hard under the dress. It adds an element of exoticness by revealing it really is a male under all that feminine presentation. Mmmm.
You might ask him to accompany you shopping for bras and panties so you can get his opinion on what he likes. Have him handle them and feel them At that point you might offer to have him pick some for himself to make it easier for him.
You’re very lucky. So nice to hear about courageous men like you and loving wives who help them explore their fem side and enjoy life to the max.
At the beginning I never knew there would be women that would except my life style
I have dated women that I never told them but maybe one and she flew off the handle and never spoke to me again
Then I met my current wife online and she said she was open minded and I told her and she was surprised and interested it was a relief I had a laugh when she told me she worked in a lingerie department at a store and she would be happy to go shopping with me
Yes, interesting how these things come about when the right people meet and things proceed as they should rather than in relationships with fear and hiding things and what is considered normal or acceptable.
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You should ask and then leave. Because whatever comes out of his mouth other than 'Yes, I cheated' is a lie.
u Does he have a sister who might have visited him?
Whatever you do, don't text him. If he is cheating (which is most likely), that would give him time to come up with a convincing lie before he got home.
Wait until he gets home, greet him with bra in hand and with the phrase "What's this?". He either has an explanation or he doesn't.
Well let's look at this way. The Bra you found did not grow legs and walk in there all by itself for sure and it seems that Bra was taken off by a woman who has much bigger Tit's than you have so when the Bra was taken off your boyfriend was probably sucking or fucking the set of Tit"S that belong to that Bra and he was having a really good time doing it and the Bra was left behind from another woman.
The only other thing is perhaps your boyfriend has started wearing Bra's and has not told you about as of yet...
Ask in a way that will really put him on the spot. Like by showing it to him and ask him "who's is this, this is not my bra"
When you listen for his answer.
Answers not to accept.
I thought it was yours?
It's a friend of mine she stayed the night but nothing happened?
I got it on a random night out?
It's my mothers?
It's an ex girlfriends it's been here for years!
I don't know!
The last one is much more likely than any of the others especially if you surprise him with the question I'm absolutely guaranteed to be a lie.
The only answer I can see which is reasonable is if his parents use that bedroom as a spare room when he's not there. But how often do you leave your bra behind?
I'm going to dig a bit deeper. You said he tells you about girls that like him? 1. That is a douchey move of an insecure guy that you should shut down (trying to make you jealous) 2. Most guys cheat because on some level they are insecure, and need validation (cheating validates)
See the connection?
Ask him where it came from in a non confrontational manner, it could be nothing.
Keep your bullshit detector on high alert though.
i'd ask him. be prepared to turn on your lie detector. there could be a legitimate reason but it seems like some damning evidence
@Caaarl exactly it's not especially common but some dudes like to wear bras. if he takes his laundry to a laundry mat it is possible that someone's bra was left in a dryer and he pulled it out with his dried laundry... it's probably more likely that it's cheating but we can't rule out the outlying chance of it being something else
@madhatters54 Yeah it sounds like he lives alone or with her from how she worded it, or why would he be at his house alone? It's not a great sign. But that crossdressing fetish is actually kind of more common than you think (They could have learned it from an ex). It's not as common as a foot fetish but it's not like the most obscure either.
ask him. if you don't beleove his answer figure it out from there.
but clothes end up in random places. i found random womens clothing mixed among my washing when i was renting a semifurnished place (including the washing machine).
don't assume there isn't a reasonable explanation until you have ruled them out.
Remind me of a story.. Funny story.. Kinda related... A friends wife lost her marbles one day when she found a bra that wasn't hers in her cupboard. She went on an accusatory tyrade phoning all their friends to find out if it was their bra (basically accusing then of cheating on her with the husband)... After a bit of investigation by the rational husband he discovered that the house maid has found it wedged behind the drawers and simply put it back in the "correct" drawer. Turns out it had belonged to a previous owner of the house. Funny thing was... Fast forward about 3 years and he walked in on her with the plumber. A case of thou does protest too much in the first place... Then he knew why..
Well really
Why would a girl come over and not go back home with her bra on
Like what happened to it... did it fly away while they were doing it.. no! It was prolly just laying there on the bed... meaning she would pick it up
But really it was a big size? Like how big? ... lol can you put it over your head?
"why would a girl come over and not go back home with her bra on"
You'd be surprised. I misplace bras a lot and if I don't see it the next morning I'm not going to remember I'm not wearing it... yeah
Also she should check the brand, if it's a granny brand bra then it could be a laundry mix up
Otherwise, she gettin played.
Ask him about it and get an answer where it came from. He literally has no excuse to be holding onto a bra other than yours (and then even then it's a bit like "why?")
Whatever his intentions behind having that bra, something is not right. In all honesty, I reckon he cheated on you, but I can't say that as fact.
Does your boyfriend live with his mom or other siblings? That the bra could belong to one of them is something to consider.
If no other female presence, there is a tiny chance that he is a closet cross-dresser.
But if none of the above rings true lose your shit because he's cheating.
Before you go off and explode on him, ask him about it first.
It could be a friend of his being and asshole, and planting that bra there to be found. I could be a jealous female friend of his that he is not sexually involved with that planted it, you know the games you women play.
You will know if he is telling the truth or not, by how he responds.
Okay, that's a tricky situation. First things first, do NOT instantly accuse him, that would turn nasty quickly.
Maybe just wait till he's in a good mood and ask him calmly and REMAIN calm throughout the conversation. If he denies cheating, ask why he had it in his room, and if he can't come up with an excuse, just calmly tell him you think he's more than likely cheating. Do not start yelling at him, it'll only make it worse. Good luck! All the best!
It could be a sister's bra, so just ask calmly. Don't accept a garbage answer, or a half answer, as you need to really know if another girl is fucking him. Are there other indicators that something is not right, that he maybe's he's not being honest with you about others things? Your antenna should be up for a while just to be sure.
Don't make assumptions. He may be fucking someone else, or cross-dressing. Maybe it's his mother's bra that was mixed with his washing.
You don't know til you ask. Ask calmly. If he hesitates to reply, he's either thinking of a lie or the truth is an innocent but embarrassing one.
Ask him. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation. Maybe it's one of his family members'. You always have to give him a benefit of the doubt.
That reminds me when my mom found plus sized underwear inside a sleeping bag, and my dad was trying to convince her it was her's.
My dad cheated on my mom. Multiple times. They're still married.
Ask calmly.
Asking angrily will turn him into defensive mode which increases the chance of lying.
Where does he do his laundry? If it's in public - might have been mixed up by accident.
Does he have an ex? Might be left over of the previous relationship.
How about a sister? Mom? Maybe got mixed up in laundry too.
Once you know who's the owner, wash it , hand it back in public. https://i.imgur.com/qLlEEhv.jpg
Honestly I wouldn't even ask him. I'd stand by the door with the bra in my hand and a cold look on my face. See what kind of stupid shit will come out of his mouth first without me making his response lean any particular way.
I think he's cheating unless he had a regular friend or relative stay over and took a bath or shower and had a change of clothes but somehow forgot about that bra. I mean what are his current explanations other than he tells you about girls that like him? Do you really believe he is honest with you? Or could he actually be deceiving you the whole time and acting behind your back?
Ask him. Does he have any roommates? Could it have been anyone they were with? Don’t fully distrust him till you’ve closed all evidences, but be wary of lying when you ask him.
Does he live at home with his family? If the answer is yes, then it's possible that laundry got mixed up... depending on his living (family) situation, it could be a sisters or his mothers.
I would ask him. That's incredibly fishy, not going to lie. If I found a bra in my boyfriend's laundry then I would assume the worst, but that's just me.
You can ask, of course... don't be a bitch about it tho...
doesn't make a difference though. I mean if i'd love you, but cheated on you, it would mean i didn't want you to know. So i would do it in a way that you wouldn't notice, and i'd lie about it. Straight in your face. Just saying. I've never cheated thouh...
It natural to feel angry and scared, but anger only clouds your judgement. Talk to him, examine him, listen to him
Look for any indication of guilt on his punk ass face and if he gives in, break his fuckin' ears off
He’s cheating but don’t blow up about it. If cheating is unacceptable to you , just text him a picture saying you found the bra in his room and you’re breaking up with him.
Well it depends if he lives with anyone else. Who comes over frequent? I have friends who are comfortable with me. Dont mean i sleep with them lol. In worse case maybe he wears it for a kink? Honestly come to him in a open mind and ask about it
Depends on the situation he is living in. Does he live completely alone? Does he use public laundry machines?
Ask him about it calmly and gauge the answer for any BS. If he immediately goes defensive, that is a red flag.
This happened to me, I came home from a trip and my girlfriend accused me of cheating when she found a pair of panties in my laundry. Long story short, it was my sister's, she stayed at my place for a while and forgot to take them when she left.
Considering it was in the laundry, I doubt it os from cheating unless he's a complete idiot. If he saw it and new you were coming he would have trashed it, not washed it
You assuming he washed it. How you know he just left it there as dirty laundry etc.
@Hispanic-Cool-Guy Because she said she found it when she was grabbing a towel for a shower. That made me think the laundry was clean.
Ask him seriously amd calmly. Maybe there's an explanation. You doesn't have enough proof that he's cheating so give him a benefit of the doubt to explain his side. But if you caught him cheating infront of your eyes then maybe you can start at war.
obviously confront him, but ask him a few friendly questions before presenting the bra (do you like big breasts, what do you think about me getting a breast enlargement and so on...)
and please keep us updated on the aftermath ☺
Wait till he gets home and have the bra where he can see it when he walks in.
You'll get a response from it.
Ask him almost like you wholeheartedly think he's doing drag behind your back, then he'll either have to face embarrassment of that going public or confess
The fact that you have to ask is already a bad sign, and if he is telling you about girls liking him then it’s just petty there is no reason to try and make you jealous
Okay,
Maybe it was in the dryer and got mixed with his clothes
Maybe he was practicing his "moves" and learning how to take it off with one hand
Maybe he's a cross dresser
Maybe a roommates girlfriend, or a sister
Ask, don't assume
Wear it around you head and pretend you are the boogie monster. When you scare him, well... you'll give him more than one reason to be scared about. He'll be at this position where he knows he fcked up unless he has a really damned good excuse.
Definitely ask him. Don't come off as rude. Just be like "so u wanna explain where this bra came from? Because it's definitely not mine." I don't know if that sounds to assertive but that's what I would say personally.
oh shiii. Be calm because it could be like a family members- or something with his identity, you don’t want to offend him. but if he doesn’t have a valid excuse GO AWFFFF
I'd wait because there are ways a bra can get there without him cheating. Does he have a roommate? Does he share a laundry room with a bunch of people?
I think it's a trap. Someone purposely dropped that bra in his laundry to break your relation or I'm just watching too many movies 😂 but first confront him
Make him wear it in public.
Or let's look at a slightly more rational answer. He is single and lives alone? Does his mother do his laundry for him?
Just ask, been there done that, I never thought he'd cheat on me and he did. Its easier to move on together or individually if there's honesty.
Maybe his cross dressing jk does he have his on place?
2 male roommates. It was In the dirty clothes
Maybe someone roommate girl that was over.
Yeah maybe, but this is also a plausible cover if he is cheating.
I'd say hey i found this bra, whose is it
if he keep trying to say its yours, red flag. its all about reading his face. this could be innocent, but it could be bad news. But also think about why would he wash the girls bra if he was cheating ya know? like getting guys to do their own laundry is annoying enough much less if a girl left it there lol. most guys would just give it back as it, assuming they gave it back
Wouldn’t work for me I’m into women so Bra thing wouldn’t work.
Yeah I don’t them for not being to bright.
Just ask. Approaching calmly is always the best answer. It keeps you from accidently making the situation worse whether he's innocent or guilty.
If it's unworn he may just be a pervert
We all want an update on this girl. Don't forget us
Definitely keep the bra , take pics and then show him to his face and watch his reactions.
Also keep in mind if he shares his place with male friends , could be one of those as well.
I don't think any girl would leave their bra in their boyfriends house unless she is in a live in relationship with the guy. Finding just a bra doesn't mean anything. It could probably be his sister's or maybe some other family member. The point is, don't jump to any conclusions. If you feel he is cheating on you, the best thing to do will be confronting him. And everybody knows, guys are bad liars😅 If you feel he is being dishonest. Kick him in the face and get outta there girl!😆
You need to be calm about it. Don't go off crazy because it won't help you. Ask some questions before showing. Besides even if he did cheat then be mature are try to work it out if he's worth it. All in all just be calm.
Wear it. If it fits well, maybe he bought it for you, if not, wear it anyway and watch his face when he sees you wearing it. A look of shame tells no lie.
Confront them and prepare for some bullshit xD maybe consider leaving them. I mean does he live with his family or something so that it might be his sister's or his mom's?
It might be a prank, ask him about it and see how he reacts, if its obviously not a prank then react how you will
Give him the benefit of the doubt and just ask, but don't be naive and believe a big lie. Be sure that he is telling the truth. It is sketchy. Are there any other females who live in the house?
Dont accuse him just ask. It could be really old from years ago or maybe a sisters? I don't know just be nice about it. Dont let him get defensive.
I have on rare occasions found a stray sock, a piece of kids underwear, and yes one bra in my laundry from the launderette. I returned the stray item each time. Mistakes can happen.
He has a washer and dryer in his apartment. 2 male roommates. And it was the dirty clothes. I'd be less concerned if it was in the clean pile.
All relevant information that should have been in the question.
Do his roommates have female visitors who may have thrown something in the wrong laundry basket?
Ask him.
Then when he denies it ask if he is secretly a drag queen.
And when he says no, yell at him into oblivion.
always try to stay calm, if you are ready for his answer either way - then I'd say ask him about it. It wouldn't have popped in his room by itself.
I wouldn't go offit because he'd be more inclined to deny it to avoid arguing. Just calmly and confidently ask him why it's there and who's it is
Honestly, ask about it and talk about it calmly. If you are angry and start yelling at him he will just yell back.
If you lives with his parents and then it could be his sisters or mothers bra but if not then flip your s*** at him to show who is boss
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