Do you think the most important relationship you have in Life is always overlooked/underrated? In respect to the relationship, you have with yourself?

[gobsmacked3]

[Bluemax]

If anything, I believe in this day and age our relationships with ourselves are *over*emphasized.

Generally speaking, when I meet someone, I don't care much what relationship they have with themselves. I care how they treat their fellow humans. If they are kind and compassionate, then I'm less concerned with how they feel about themselves. Similarly, if they are cruel and uncaring, I don't care at all if they have a good relationship with themselves.

Many people believe that being kind and compassionate *starts* with the relationship one has with one's self. That if one is compassionate to others, then it's *because* they have a good relationship with his/herself. Or if one is cruel to others, it's because he/she doesn't have a good relationship with his/herself. Suffice it to say I disagree with people who believe this.

I've known MANY people who love themselves, have high self esteem, and who are complete pieces of shit to other people. I've also known people who *DON'T* love themselves, don't have high self esteem, and are wonderful to others. Furthermore, history is littered with dog shit who positively loved themselves who also left millions of dead in their wakes.

I think self esteem is a good thing to have (if it's earned... and that's another problem that people seem to think self esteem should be a given. I think not. I think it's earned). However, I am *FAR* more concerned with how people treat others, not their relationship with themselves. I also do not think it's a given that one's relationship with one's self will shape the relationships one has with others.

P. S. I am no fan of unconditional love, either.

[gobsmacked3]

interesting, thanks for a brilliant diff' perspective

[chris1984]

yes. there is a lot of social pressure to have, not to be. have the right stuff, the right job, the right relationship with the right person. we end up focusing on external things for happiness and it doesn't work.

[gobsmacked3]

Everything flow from the central point, you. You create every reality in your life. Of course factoring in a modicum of fortune

[chris1984]

yep. but advertising and society spend all their time trying to convince you otherwise. it's nuts.

[gobsmacked3]

once more, one needs to see through the obvious distortions of truth and blatant lies :)

[chris1984]

yeah they do. choose how to participate in society, don't let society choose for you 😊

[bente2]

I agree, though crying in a porsche feels better than crying in a ford😉

[gobsmacked3]

@bente2 how is it different when both carry out the same intention?

[chris1984]

fraid i agree. a porche is nice. its pretty. but end of the day is it worth all that money for something that does the same as the ford?

it can travel 1-100 in 3.2 seconds? but the max speed in australia is 110 km/hr. where am i going to use such awesome power?

get what i mean? we get bamboozled with shiny things to trick us into investing time, money and care into things that don't matter.

[tsunayoshi]

Self love is definitely important, but difficult to achieve for many.

When you love yourself, you have a high self esteem. You know your worth, thus in a way setting the tone for every other relationship that you have, at the same time having a high chance of avoiding unhealthy relationships because you know how well you should be treated by others.

In most cases, people that had traumatic experiences have trouble loving themselves, and often it will lead them to unhealthy relationship with others such as entering an abusive relationship.

But I believe that just because someone does not have a healthy relationship with themselves, doesn't mean they can't have unconditional love. I have seen many of these cases happen.

[bente2]

I defintely think the relationship you have with yourself impacts all other relationships. The people that date abusers/creeps etc are almost always very insecure. If you are not sure of who you are, how can you be of those you love?

[gobsmacked3]

Taking it further, if you do not love yourself unconditionally. How can you receive unconditional love?

Very Chicken/Egg

[CandacePerry]

I have good relationship with my self and being helpful with students and being supported to my current boyfriend. i don't give a shit about what other people think of me. I love being werid.

[gobsmacked3]

all power to you

[CandacePerry]

Thanks you. Just being trying to have a better year yet. I will get there and finally with be happy and. 2017 has not been a good year.

[gobsmacked3]

onwards and upwards in 18 and beyond :)

[Poppykate]

I think that ‘self love’ is great! But I think one of the greatest things we can learn in life is to truly love unconditionally. That’s a challenge.

[gobsmacked3]

But unconditionality comes from self. It is the stone the church is built on

[AlwaysBelieving]

Would unconditional self love work?

[Poppykate]

@AlwaysBelieving but I don’t think I have unconditional self love. I think it’s a way to regulate my own behaviour. For instance- It’s healthy to be anger or disappointed with yourself, if you did something wrong. I. e. committed a crimes, was nasty to someone etc. It makes you a better person.

[AlwaysBelieving]

Good point. Forgot about that part.😊

[momo770]

It's essential to love yourself. I know it sounds cliche, but it's taken me this long to actually put myself first and be kind to myself.

[gobsmacked3]

it is arguably the toughest aspect of being for a being to embrace

[momo770]

Indeed, great question

[reixun]

I have a good relationship with myself like she’s always there for me but at the same time she’s sometimes negative smh

[gobsmacked3]

^ Definition of absolute perfection :0

[reixun]

😂 thank you, what have i done to warrant these nice compliments though

[gobsmacked3]

honesty, rather than compliments

[gobsmacked3]

@reixun I need your help with something. I understand you are Somalian?

I have been asked to help integrate some new students into classes by a friend. There are some that are Somalian and Sudanese. i understand that the two do not get on and are likely to clash. Am I right in this? If I am, would you suggest that every effort is made to keep them in different classes?

[reixun]

What are you basing the idea that they don’t get along off of? Have they had arguments before or is it an assumption based on ethnicity?

[gobsmacked3]

I thought just cultural they did not get on. Feel free to say I am wrong in this assumption. If you do, you help solve my issue :)

[reixun]

There’s no cultural conflict between sudanese and somali. What made you think that though?

[gobsmacked3]

Just through the Somali and Sudanese, I have met. They all said they did not like the other. It is like when I played football with Eritrean boys. They all did not like Ethiopians

[reixun]

Eritrean and Ethiopian would make sense because Eritrea seceded from Ethiopia. But I can’t think of any reason sudanese people would be disliked by somalia or vice versa. But then again it might be different where you live.

[gobsmacked3]

Ok, this is all I need to know, Thank you so much

As for all the Africans, they make me look silly on the football pitch :(

[madgoat]

Totally agree. I wouldn't have realised this 10 years ago though.

[gobsmacked3]

Takes a while , clarity :)

[SebShaw82]

I definitely think it's overlooked. Too many focus on getting a partner without looking after themselves first, which is why I think relationships and marriages break down so frequently these days.

[random56286]

Quite underrated. While people focus on it, most people don't seem to corelate this relationship with any of the other relationships in their lives.

[VegetaSSB]

No, because that is the only one i am focusing for at least the past 4 years.

[LegateLanius]

Life is a train car. You are the conductor and the other people are just passengers. You are the only person that is there the entire time.

[sp33d]

I am married to my work and research is my mistress.

[Pan21]

Seems I'm on the same boat as you

[BanksRevo]

You could also say the way one treats animals and other being is reflected on how they treat their own kind.

[JillianMaureen]

Dignity is precious!!

[gobsmacked3]

testify ^

[Anonymous]

Happiness will be forever elusive with no self-love and self-respect...

[quirf]

My opinion is that humans are built for relationship. Do you think most of our greatest fears have to do with: being alone, dying alone, being alone in front of a crowd laughing at us, etc. ?

[Gludiusmax]

Nope not the case. I hate myself and have since I was a kid. I love my wife and children. We are doing great

[SketchForger]

I preach this shit everywhere I go when people ask for advice on how to get into relationships

[AlwaysBelieving]

Unconditional self love.

[SovietBall]

Nobody can understand you better than yourself

[donttrytofindme]

lol i hate me

[childressbruce14]

Well I love you

[donttrytofindme]

@childressbruce14 lol thanks

[BronzedAdonis]

yeah