Boyfriend and I became official December 6th, but he won't change his Facebook yet... What's the reason?

[TikiTook]

I've asked him and he just says "we'll see" or "let's see how this goes for a bit first"... etc. he broke up
With his ex about 2 months ago, and he was in a relationship with her on fb and changed his status after they broke up. he's on all social media, he isn't active but he uses them daily, so it's not like he never uses it or sees the point. He does. My first thought is because he wants to keep his options open, maybe there are girls online he's talking to, I don't know. Of course I know he doesn't want to update it and if it doesn't work he'd change it right away and that looks bad to family, his ex, his friends... but I mean, it has been nearly 3 weeks since we've been official in person. I've met all his family. I don't see why he's putting it off.

[samhradh_leannan]

Changing your Facebook status isn’t what makes the relationship official. You’re already official, he should have no problem making that public. To be perfectly honest, I see this as a huge red flag. It seems like he wants to test out the relationship before he lets people know he’s seeing you. That’s literally what social media is- it’s where you communicate and share with others. So that’s the part he’s dawdling on. He question is, why?

[TikiTook]

Yes!! Finally someone sees my point. Thank you.

[samhradh_leannan]

People are very quick to say “oh, it’s just Facebook, who cares? It doesn’t mean anything”. But they’re forgetting that a persons behavior on social media is still THEIR behavior. It still reflects their choices, thoughts, and desires.

[pvgirl93]

I didn't become Facebook official until at least a month or two in. My sister has been in a relationship with a guy for three years and I'm pretty sure for at least 2 of them she had single as her status. Frankly the people who need to know will know. Plus he changes his status and then hypothetically you break up it becomes more of an issue

[TikiTook]

We've been seeing each other for 3 months though, I don't see why not, like if he is unsure now I don't know when he wouldn't be. I don't see what the big deal is in changing it vs showing you're single instead

[poeticpages]

I don't think it is that big of a deal. I have been talking to a guy for a while now, and we haven't even really made it official, but we really love each other. He might just be afraid of you guys not working out, and changing his status too many times.

[markscott]

Something is going on there. It may be that he is trying to keep his options open. If you haven't already has sex, I wouldn't have it with him until he changed the status. If he won't commit his facebook, why shoud you "commit" you body?

[TikiTook]

Yes!!! That was exactly what I was going to tell him. We haven't had sex yet. And if he isn't sure about our relationship I don't want to anytime soon.

[Shreyash108]

Because to most people , social media doesn't matter at all...
The few people who are close know about it.. and the rest will come to know about it... and the others aren't necessary!

[TikiTook]

But then why not? If it doesn't matter what's the big deal?

[Shreyash108]

Okay..
The kind of person i am,
The reason for me not changing the status on fb is... that i don't really care what most of the people think about it... because i know most just don't...
Even i let it out , there will be questions from most of the people about who is she, how did you meet blah blah blah... and that will spread along which i don't like much because i am a low profile guy, i don't want people to be talking so much about me...
I would only change my FB status kf my SO wants me to change it really bad... but not because she jUST wants is or is a silly demand of her , i need to know the reason and if i think it is justified , i surely will for her..

Now why is that you want him to change his status, why is it bothering you so much?

[acooke-13]

Maybe he isn't bothered, it's official with the people it needs to be official with its not like it's only official when it's on Facebook. Me and my ex forgot to put it on until like 6 months in, I wouldn't worry about it

[TikiTook]

If he isn't bother then why NOT change it? He specifically doesn't want to. We've discussed it. It's not like oh I forgot.

[acooke-13]

Maybe he wants his private life private, I think you're overthinking this abit much

[acooke-13]

Plus it's only early on in the relationship, give it time maybe he's not ready too

[TikiTook]

He changed his relationship right away for his previous relationship. It would be different he hadn't but for me he isn't.

[acooke-13]

Talk to him and tell him it's bothering you

[Decemberbaby86]

My boyfriend and I became official a few days before Christmas and neither of us has changed our status yet. It's not a big deal. Maybe he just wants to make sure it will go somewhere rather than be one of those people that constantly change their status. Focus more on your relationship than your Facebook relationship status. What would you do if there wasn't a Facebook? Walk around town with a t-shirt that has your relationship status on it?

[TikiTook]

It isn't about that. We've been seeing each other since October. If he isn't sure about the relationship at this point, enough where he can't change it on fb, then I don't know when he would be. Is anyone ever completely comfortable that a relationship will last? No. Someone could leave you at any moment. Something with him is off if he refuses to change it, period.

[Decemberbaby86]

I've been talking to my boyfriend since July. Let me ask you a question... is the relationship good? Are you willing to break up a good relationship bc of a Facebook status?

[TikiTook]

You're missing the point. It isn't because I want to show him off or have him show me off. I don't know 3/4 of the people on my Facebook. It's the point that he doesn't want to that has gotten to me because most guys would not care and if their girlfriend asked they would change it because she asked. I am sensing something else is going on. I don't post anything even on Facebook, I'm not active. I want to know his reason why and he won't tell me. If he told me the reasons people have listed here it would be something, but he is literally avoiding answering.

[Decemberbaby86]

Well has he told his friends and family about you yet? If he hasn't, even just a few friends than I would be concerned. If he has told people he's with you then it shouldn't matter if he put it on Facebook.

[Phoenixrage]

If he tells you things like "we'll see" and "let's see how this goes for a bit first", it means that he's not sure about you yet or that he's comfortable at the moment and doesn't want to include a label

[TikiTook]

Yeah, and that to me is kinda a red flag.

[someho]

Well if its been just two months you shouldn't be bsing! Just calm down and wait.

If he puts you on fb doesn't mean anything. I know lots of people who are perfect couple on social media fb ig etc... but then they cheat on each other etc..

[hahahmm]

Maybe he’s afraid things won’t work out and he’ll look silly. Or he is afraid of commitment... but as long as he acts 100% committed that’s not a big deal for a month or two

[SaoirseS]

Don’t make a big deal about it. Nobody’s relationship status is the world’s business.

[TikiTook]

Unless he's keeping his options open because he doesn't want other chicks to know.

[TikiTook]

It's not about showing me off to the world. It's about giving me respect and assuring me that he is committed.

[TheIceCreamQueen]

He's tryna fuck his ex and you da backup option sis

[Robert420]

its just a fucking social media nobody actually give a shit. simple

[TikiTook]

But he specifically isn't. If nobody gives a shit then why not change it

[Robert420]

I have my girlfriend for 2 years neither do i or she had status updated cuz simply we dont give a shit about that.. and second even if he update he can still try something whit somebody else
Its not gonna stop him cuz he updated some internet stuff.. thats just stupid...

[Anonymous]

It's just FB, no one really cares. I dated a girl for 3 years and my FB status was single the whole time.

[Anonymous]

To be honest, guys don't really make a big deal out of being "Facebook official". He'll probably eventually change it.

[BrittBratt2416]

guy usually don't care about that stuff..

[BrittBratt2416]

Don't you think it's a little odd that this guy just got out of a relationship 2 months ago and already in another relationship with you? Like that's too soon to be getting to another relationship but updating Facebook seems as too sudden? Like something is up with that.. Like I'm side eyeing this guy, maybe he wants to wait to change it, maybe he doesn't care, or maybe he doesn't want his ex to see he's already seeing someone else so soon.. who knows... but I don't know.. like i just don't agree with hoping into another relationship so quickly after a recent break up with someone else.

[TikiTook]

Yes, I have these same concerns and I've told him them. That's why I haven't had sex with him and why I'm being very careful otherwise. He specially refuses to change it on fb, I asked him if it's because of his ex and he says no. He never gives me a sure answer when I ask. Something feels up, it's not like he doesn't care or he's like whatever we can change it or not. He's keeping something.

[BrittBratt2416]

I just think jumping into a new relationship after a recent break up is more of red flag then a facebook status change. I mean maybe there could be a reason why he don't want to change it, he either just doesn't care or isn't ready to change it yet. Just hold off it for a while and don't worry about it but if shows any signs of not being fully over his ex, dump him immediately.

[NerdInDenial]

Why does the world need to know?

[Volvagia]

who cares fb is gay

[TikiTook]

If he doesn't care then why not change it? If he knows I want to change it then he should.

[Volvagia]

cuz free will