My boyfriend told me even if I die he doesn't care.

Question

My boyfriend changed suddenly in 2 days, 2 days ago he told me he loved me. Now he is being so mean to me in a way I never imagined, He is saying things to me like I stated that love for me is a joke and I only use you, even if you leave me I don't mind. If you jump off a building and if you die I don't care.

He also said to me only a fool like you thinks with her heart and not brain, and revolves herself around me. I am so shocked I know most reactions are going to be leave and so forth. But I am genuinely concerned and worried as this is unlike him. I asked him if he has met some else and he assured me that it's not that. I don't know what to do. I am devastated and hurt beyond belief. I don't know what's going on, why the sudden change. He was so sweet 2 days ago.

The only thing I can think of is his Mother getting into his head, he comes from a very cultural background and I know him Mother doesn't like me and his culture respect for parents and obeying them is a big thing, but I don't think he would do this because of that, it's never got in the way before and we have been together for 3 years. I am so confused. I don't know what to do. Please someone help me..

REALOVE3 · Accepted Answer

talk to him...i feel like guys do this thing to test us, either that or they're bored. And we're all human, we all get bored. Sounds to me, this is what he wanted. Sounds to me, like when we revolve our lifes around them, I don't think they like that. Just like us women, they want someone mentally strong and independent. Maybe he was just testing you to see if he really loves you.

If you know the reason, which you probally do. Don't tell him you know. Because next time around you won't be a fool to his game, because you already know it. Won't be anything new.

And if he starts the bullsh*t of I hope you die, and I don't want to be with you bla bla bla...

WHAT YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND IS:

No ONE when they are wrong LIKES TO HAVE A MIRROR IN FRONT OF THEM. When someones hurt you, you do the same thing to them. I used to think this was revenge but its not, sometimes people don't have the quality of being sympathetic...at all. They can't understand that words freaken hurt. But they do. But you don't have to be as nasty as him. You simply say your right, wow; at least your honest with me. And as painful as it may be...ONE by doing this and walking away, you can find out if he's playing; and he might not come clean right away cas at that moment he's shaking in his boots wondering wtf should I do, what DID I DO!? LoL

Don't take it too far, but know your frreeeaken limits. I can't stand that people think its NOT abusive because its not physical. Its abuse.

PUT A MIRROR IN FRONT OF THESE PEOPLE LET THEM SEE HOW MEAN THEY ARE

(Because he has a diff. personality but I'm sure very similar to most people in pain. understand HURT PEOPLE< HURT PEOPLE. You must do your own research...

Theres a fine line between giving up on someone and giving up on yourself.

Expand your mind.

Go on a date

see how you could be treated

how old are you

if your like 22 I'm gonna smack you lol

if you love him just like anything else, research how to deal with his ass...then after you'd tried that, everything abouuuuut him will become clear and you'll be able to make a decision if you want him or not because at that point you've done everything, and now you either one see how much he loves you, and your point got across, or he is a selfish womanizer, and does not realize what he has in front of him(could be gay, whatever, NOT YOUR PROBLEM) LOL

I Should start a blog

FUcken dudes...get it together

angela1 · Accepted Answer

Don't you see what is going on he had or has another love interest. It's new and this girl really takes his breath away! He was looking at you as old reliable and thought you would always be there ready and willing to take him back... The tex messages he was sending you were crap! They were just bate... To keep you hoping and hanging on. What's so sick about your guy since the other girl is new in his life he wants to devote more time to her without worrying about you looking over his shoulder. The min. he felt he had something real in his mind with the other girl that mth break Would of become a forever... You did one thing that was really good. You let him know {he wasn't worth this crap} the reason he changed is because you were suppose to be the sure thing he could always fall back on if things didn't work out for him and the new chick... He started to realized OMG! If she isn't going to give me time to find out how things will workout I gotta get her back! I'm not the man like I thought.. Girl if you do it right his sorry butt could be a good man to you just never again put up with his crap. 1. Do not take him back so fast. Let him suffer for a while. I would stop taking his calls. Let's see if he comes to YOU..lol. 2. When he does let him talk first..after he ask you back ask him why. Then tell him your not ready to jump back into that with him after what he did. Tell him you can try dating to see how it goes.. Don't let him come to your house right away an hang out or his. Allow him to be the man..and court you and win you back.. If he ever really cared about you he will be willing to do that. If he starts getting upset tell him to kick rocks! and get out of your house! Your worth a good man and if he isn't willing to do that why waste your time. Warning! if you take him back to ez the good times will only last a little while. The first hot girl that winks at him he will do it again... Men unlike women understand pain when they mess up BAD! Remember no pain no gain.. He will think twice before he tries you again

Miss_All_Time_Low · Accepted Answer

God damn. (Pardon my French.)

And you are STILL with this guy?!

No offence, but the way he is treating you (and would, no doubt about it, treat any other poor girl in his life) says an incredible lot about him.

So much, in fact, that I don't even know him and it makes me ill to read he can say something like that to someone he's supposed to "care" about.

Anyway ... regardless of what your question is, there's only one answer I have. Leave him as fast as you can. You don't need to explain.

Saying "I love you" is such an overused trick. He is only saying it so he can further manipulate you. Honestly, how do you feel with all his love for you? Not so great, eh?

Well then - ignore him. Do not reply to a single message, no matter what he says. He sunk so low I won't even suggest being friends when you get over him.

Please, let him go.

There can be no rational reason or justification for somebody saying "If you jump off a building and if you die I don't care."

Does this sound like somebody you want to have in your life?

Please, rethink. And please ... go away as quickly as you can.

MrGamias · Accepted Answer

I was once in a phase like that.

You should talk to him and not dump him..

He is obviously going through something really hurtful to act like that, it's a reaction to something.

And he needs you the most now even if he is saying otherwise.

I was in the EXACT same position as he was, something happened and I was very mean to everyone, especially the girl I liked but in the end everything run smoothly with some help.

I know you're hurt and frustrated, it's normal! But going through phases like this as a couple is what making your relationship stronger and worthy. You can't have something perfect, you have to fight for it.

I know it sounds hard and stupid but you have to try.. not only you but him also.

Does something as beautiful as being with the one you love deserve to end without a fight?

Trust me it doesn't..

When you lose something, that's the moment you'll realize how much you appreciated it.

That's the lesson I learned from life.

Wowz1 · Accepted Answer

It sounds like everything was golden up until two days ago, and that's why I think you should try to force him to talk to you (I use the term "force" here loosely, but you get the idea). Give him a little more time; do whatever you can over the next few days to get him to explain what's going on to you. Pull out the waterworks if you have to, and if you haven't already. But if he's still treating you this way after trying to fix the situation, then threaten to leave him. If that doesn't work, then just do.

I hope you can find a solution to this.

Anonymous · Answer

okay from your updates, he sounds hypocritical and dramatic and doesn't know what he wants...if a man can't handle his feelings and stress in a calm mature way then why would you wanna be with him? He is basically showing he is in control of the relationship, he has all the power, and doesn't care if your feelings get hurt along the way of his 'confused journey.'

I think you should take a stand and stop replying to his texts and just tell him the truth that you didn't like how he treated you because he's having a tough time in his life for whatever reason, and that there is no such thing as not loving someone anymore not caring if you die or not but then texting I love you all of a sudden a couple of weeks later...tell him that he should take time off and think about what he wants and that YOU NOW need some space to think over things and when the time is right you guys can hang out again...

you need to do this and let him know you're not dependent on him, and you're not some doormat he can walk all over when he likes, otherwise it will give him the right to keep hurting you like this in the future again, and chances are he certainly will. You never know when a new girl will come along or he will have another rough time in his life, and he will take all that anger out on you and then keep texting you to make sure you don't leave him either. how selfish!

Anonymous · Answer

well hun my ex WAS EXACTLY like that.

together 2 years, one day he suddenly changed.

he said those same things to me, and when I cried he went on how my tears make him descusted and want to shoot himself.

he dumped me and I was utterly heartbroken, he kept coming back though.

and each time he did, it ended with him treating me like sh*t.

first off you don't f***ing treat anyone like that idgaf how aggravating the relationship is.

reading this made me very angry. reminds me of the sh*t I put up with.

just to let you know, my ex stripped me of everything I thought I believed in.

and being without him and letting him be in his own miserable world has never made me happier.

i do miss him.

but sometimes you can't help people who won't help themselves, feel bad ofcourse but from afar.

btw my ex told me he didn't meet someone else, but to be honest I think he did.

just talk to him, state your grounds and ask his.

all you can do is communicate, and if he doesn't clean up his act. I suggest leaving.

itll be hard and terrible but in the end I swear you'll be ok.

Anonymous · Answer

he is obviously not that into you anymore and is trying to back out. Some guys do this when they want to beak up with there girl: they will all of a sudden start saying sh*tty things to you to make you mad at them enougjh to leave them or an easy way for them to get out is make the relationship bad so then he really does have a good excuse to end it. The fact that his behavior has changed for the worse and then after that suggested yall break off for a month is clear, hon, that he is about to dump you. No man that loves you would ever treat you that way or want to take a month off. That's way too long and could be seeing some one else. You don't know.  Do not be surprise if this continues on more than a month and you see around waiting for him. At some point, you have to be able to tell the difference between what you feel and what's real. You aonly allow yourself to hurt when you allow one to hurt you because "You love them" and feel you can't live without them and carry on this false hope that this is just temparary; They will change when really reality is they are indirectly trying to dump you.

Anonymous · Answer

MrGamias is giving you bad advice although I hear what she is saying about no relationship being perfect and working things through but that pertains to non-abusive problems in relationships that can be worked out like finances, bad communication, sex issues, cheating, problems that have nothing to do with deamining a person either physically or emotionally. For him to feel like for whatever reason to talk to you in such a low way says a lot about how he views you and the person he may be becoming now. This is a serious issue that you are seeing now and should not be taken lightly. its your decision whether you put up with this or not and if things get worse, its all on you because you saw the signs and chose to ignore them so you won't lose him and be alone.  What's best is to listen to that inner voice inside and make some tough decisions. Right now, the next time he talks you down even after you treid to talkk to him about this, you put your foot down and serious face on and tell him to back off. Stand firm. Remember, your decisions determine your future and signs gives you a heads up for things to come, good or bad, and whatever happens is because you let it happened. think about this.

Evolution86 · Answer

He's not worth worrying over.  He's doing this to make you dump him so he doesn't have to do the dirty work himself.  He's got a serious problem, and you don't need to be around someone who acts like that, or treats you poorly to the point of not caring whether you live or die.  Even in the worst relationships, you still don't want to see the other person die, he's trying to get you to break up with him.  Humour him, and tell him it's done, and if he tries the gravelling thing, don't buy into it, stick to your guns, and tell him he's not going to change just like that, and even if he tries, it's not going to change anything anytime soon, because it won't.  Get out of this toxic situation, and work on finding a great guy who's going to treat you with the real respect you deserve.

missjane · Answer

If something is going on with him it sounds like he doesn't even respect you enough to grace you with a proper explanation as to his actions. Just the way he treated you says a lot about him, even if he truly does love you and is feeling pressure from his family, I find it hard to believe that he would be so hurtful while trying to push you away. Unless he is trying to convince himself that the thing he said about you are true or he is repeating them from another source. Either way, its a sad situation.

BizzEMuch · Answer

Who do you love more? Him or yourself? If it's Him then obviously stick around to help him figure out his issues

If it's you then you need to leave. Assuming all you said was true about you being an understanding/kind/loving girlfriend then you sound like a pretty awesome person. And for him to degrade you like that is not right. It's good you guys are on a break because I can't imagine having to hear disrespectful comments like that on a regular basis. No person who chooses their boyfriend/girlfriend should have to hear that

fresca · Answer

You are a really nice person. A loser like him should be BEGGING to be with a girl like you. I don't know why he's being mean. I don't think any "phase" or "problem with mom" is an excuse to hurt a person he loves...especially a girlfriend. I'm glad that you love him and you're so understanding... but I also think you deserve an apology for him treating you that way...

Just remember: a guy who's mean to you doesn't deserve you... remember that...

I want to knock some sense into him to make him understand how lucky he is... my first love treated me like that once too...loser...(I mean my guy...)

hkygirl · Answer

he's definitely going through something and in my opinion, he still cares about you...that's why he was so mean to you...in my opinion if a guy's personality does a 180 from sweet guy to douchebag then he loves you he's just trying to get over you or doesn't want you to know...it's when he's a douchebag over time that you need to check out the red flags...you need to talk to him..definitely give him his space but, and don't get mad when I ask this, why does he need 1months? why not 1 day? or 1week? or 2months? or 5months? why is it 1month? what's so special about 1month? does he mean ATLEAST one month or is it like, "something's going to happen for this one month so I don't want to be with you while it happens" kinda thing? lol I do still think that he loves you...good luck..i know it hurts

Glasgirl10 · Answer

I certainly hope you get rid of him and cut him out of your life! Don't babble sh*t like "I need time to think" because from what you've written and the answers you've received, it is very clear that you're VERY unhappy about the relationship. How DARE he treat you like this! The last time I checked; guys who loved their girlfriends TOLD them that they loved them and MEANT it - your boyfriend isn't even worth your time. He obviously saw that he screwed up when you broke up with him but that's his loss - you are the winner out of this entire experience. Sadly, your ex needs to grow up a bit.

Overall, ignore his calls, his texts, don't go anywhere he might be, don't go near his house, don't have any contact with him at all. If possible, change your mobile number. You deserve better, and the only way you can get better guys is by dumping this loser who's practically begging you to go back with him.

Good luck.

Anonymous · Answer

I am sorry to hear about your boyfriend, no doubt he is not doing well, I have been in same situation, when 3 years ago, my girlfriend wanted break up, but I wanted her to stay in relationship, I didn't want to leave her, then I said her, I love you so much, I can't live without you, and you know what she had replied? She replied if you can't live without me then you should kill yourself, she was my girlfriend, who used to say me, (we will live together, we will die together. etc. ) It was very painful,  I have been upset for few months, but now I have got a real loving girlfriend, she loves me so much, so I advice you dump him, and find someone else, Good Luck

Anonymous · Answer

Break up with him immediately. You deserve miles better than an asshole who would say something like that you. I don't care WHAT his excuse is you don't say that to someone you love. If you don't break up with him then get used to getting mistreated, he is wrong for that.

Anonymous · Answer

i know deep down you feel something is wrong, and something is just off, we don't know what's really going on in his head...and what caused this sudden change of behavior, I see where you're coming from, but babe there is nothing you can do to get the truth out of him or make him love you like he usually does.

your best option is to just leave him alone, give him his space and let him do whatever he wants. He is responsible for his own actions. He really took you for granted and said some harsh things to you, and proved he has no respect for you, you shouldn't ever give someone like that a chance ever again. Respect is really important. If he wanted to break up with you he should've done it the right way, the respectful way. If he is hiding something then let it all be. You should step away and take care of yourself and not be dependent on him. Selfish people like that don't know what love means, they haven't finished growing up yet...

Anonymous · Answer

Oh honey, tell this clown to get out of your site! I don't care what he's going through. There is no excuse in the world for saying hurtful things to you. You know what mature adults do when they are going through something tough? They talk about it. They don't wish death upon you and tear you down till there's nothing left of your soul. I mean, he's not 12 is he?

You probably think that deep down inside he's a great guy. However, you don't have to keep getting hurt till he snaps out of it. If you don't leave him now you are really going to hate yourself later.

FirstLastOnly · Answer

I'm not suggesting you give up on him completely, but I am insisting you dump him just to show him you won't take disrespect. This really does warrant explanation, but I don't know how likely you are to get that when he's so emotional.

Talk to his friends. If you have any mutual friends, start there. This isn't normal at all, and there's absolutely no way this could be your fault. Find out if he has a history of depression.

dsmarie · Answer

i hate to tell you this, but he's obviously got a girl.  I agree with anonymous guy that he's probably been cheating.  the different signals come from him trying to deal with the fact that he still cares for you (how could he not since you have been together for three years) and then he is trying to create turmoil to justify his actions with his new girl.  this is pretty standard behavior.  sorry.

NotSoBad · Answer

Breakup, and by that I mean, drive him to a mental institution and drop him off.  And be nice about it.  wish him the best of luck.

Anonymous · Answer

I think that you two need to give each other some space, and you might want to think about moving on, because the things that you say he said are just not cool to say to someone especially not your girlfriend.  And it seems to me like he might be hinding something, & I know it might be hard but I think that you should just break up with him.

Xenophobia · Answer

Break up with him.  He clearly has bi polar disorder or has anger issues.

Anonymous · Answer

So one day he says "I love you" and then the next day he says "I don't care if you die."

Come on...seriously?

Can you tell us the whole story?

You don't just randomly make a 180 regardless of his Mom doesn't like you or not.

This story is fishy.

My boyfriend told me even if I die he doesn't care.

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