Should I be upset that my boyfriend only calls me cute, adorable and pretty?

[Anonymous]

Whenever my boyfriend (of 2 years) compliments me, he says:
"Youre cute"
"Youre so adorable"
"Youre looking pretty" or "your pretty face"
And sometimes he says:
"I love you beautiful" or "hey beautiful"

But he NEVER calls me hot or sexy
He calls celebrities "hot" like megan fox and all
I confronted him asking why he never calls me hot or sexy
And he replies "because you're my girlfriend, I don't associate those words to you"

Wtf?

Yes you should be upset!

No you shouldn't be upset

[Anonymous]

I totally understand why you are upset, this is really a difficult situation, its complicated.
So this is at least partly a semantic issue (what words mean) as your boyfriend points out. Those women on tv as Buckzor below said are hot / sexy because they are sex objects or symbols, your boyfriend has no respect for them as they are not real people and because of that he finds it easy to use that language which although complimentary, it is also about objectification.
I had the same sort of problem as a young man, he has not yet resolved the conflict in his mind. Calling you hot or sexy would probably make him uncomfortable because he is not able to express his sexuality with a real woman.
But for you ofcourse you already know that your boyfriend loves and respects you but you are a sexual creature and you want to be wanted, lusted after, desired, you want to know how fucking hot you are, how wet you make your man and what Daddy is going to do to his little girl.
With time hopefully he will learn to have respect for the ladies that he sees on tv and find the courage to use language which is sexy for you and accept that it is possible to use disrespectful language and terms within the shell of a loving and respectful relationship.

[EpicDweeb]

Don't you DARE be upset at him for that!!! xD Hot/sexy are not sincere terms. If a guy uses the terms "cute, adorable, pretty, and ESPECIALLY beautiful," those all represent incredible heartfelt sincerity.

In a way guys have an instinctive sense that "hot/sexy" as casual compliments are inherently demeaning and insulting as they are limited to physical appearance. A guy who only uses terms like "cute, beautiful" uses them because it makes him uncomfortable using terms like "hot" or "sexy."

He probably doesn't realize that as the reason, that was the reason I figured out after my first relationship ended as to why I never called my girlfriend either one. I don't think guys do it consciously, it's very much subconscious which all the more indicates a deep rooted love and loyalty towards you as your boyfriend. Please don't make your man feel like he's failing you for instinctively avoiding all terms that he sees as somehow disrespectful or unloving towards you. You are all he wants and he wants you to himself as his partner, so do not I REPEAT DO NOT... take that for granted.

[Asker]

What did u write after "you are all he wants.."?
It got cut off

[EpicDweeb]

You are all he wants and he wants you to himself as his partner, so do not I REPEAT DO NOT... take that for granted.

[Anonymous]

Why are guy's being salty about this question lol Guys ask stupid questions all the time on here and I don't see offended guys on those questions, for example " My girlfriend is super supportive but I don't like her boobs" lol Would guy's like it if their gfs only called them cutie pies? Probably not all the time. I feel you, but when guy's call someone cute, beautiful, or adorable it's because they are thinking more than sex. Doesn't mean they don't find you attractive. But my boyfriend sometimes says that i'm hot, sexy, yummy but we have been together for several years. In the beginning he would pretty much only say cute or pretty. But it also helped that he wouldn't call other women "hot". Me and him settled on not saying outloud who we find hot infront of one another, it's just better that way for us. Sometimes he says stuff like " ehh she's pretty I guess" or " How can that guy not like her?" But that has happened like three times in our entire relationship lol I think your boyfriend will start calling you hot like two years later when you two are more comfortable with each other.

[MimiHashima]

Why would you be upset? I was wondering the same a little cause maybe i wanted to be looked at as slightly mature-like? But i realized further on and from him too that he doesn't mean it in a way to belittle you. He likely is giving you comments he’d feel you’d feel appreciated in. He’s trying and is trying also to be a decent guy to you as well... He totally respects you and doesn't find saying those comments would probably be appropriate to call you cause he loves you likely dearly/close. I believe he’s doing it right! Not to mention,... he’s dating you and not someone else. (Think carefully about that.) You’re likely his type.

[MimiHashima]

This was similar to when my guy called a celebrity hot and he normally calls me names similar.. but he shows it by actions that he means a lot more and views me more than i thought from those words. I have accepted them and sometimes do it back to him xD and we’re more than glad we have understood our feelings for one another rather than jus some little nickname. Your guy sounds like a keeper to be honest.

[Arctic_Fox]

He probably doesn’t call you those words because they’re less meaningful, maybe. I think it’s fine and normal, you’re more than just an object to him, more than a walking vagina. He values you for more than the way you look, you should be happy about that!

[lourdesfrance]

in my opinion there's really not much to be upset about, especially since your boyfriend considers the difference in calling someone "hot" or "sexy" as opposed to "cute," "adorable," or "pretty."

I think it just means he values your beauty in a way that's different from how anyone would idolize a celebrity for his or her looks.

[dropkicknj13]

No, he's giving you the better compliments. "Cute", "adorable", "beautiful" are all words for keepers, "Hot" and "sexy" are words for when your only thinking about them sexually not for when you want everything

[Saccharissa]

Judging by your attitude in some of the replies here, you should consider anything more than "I'm outta here you psycho bitch" a bigger compliment than you deserve. Seriously, the guy doesn't objectify you for strictly sexual reasons, respects and cares for you as a person, and you complain about it?

[Izumiblu]

Well hot/ sexy has a certain detachment and objectification to it.

When he says he doesn’t apply those words to you it means that he thinks of you as more than just a thing to look at.

Cute pretty beautiful do not exclude that he thinks of you as sexy.

On the other hand...

[daddys_girl]

No, you shouldn't be upset, although I would see why you would be. You may think that he doesn't think your sexy or hot but he does. He won't say it to you because he believes those words are disrespectful towards you. He's a keeper.

[taleswapper]

You're one of those people who'd complain if they were hung with a new rope, aren't you? "Don't you have something softer and less rough on my skin?" He likes how you look; learn to take a compliment!

[Asker]

How does he like how i look?
He never says im hot or sexy

[taleswapper]

"Youre cute"
"Youre so adorable"
"Youre looking pretty" or "your pretty face"
And sometimes he says:
"I love you beautiful" or "hey beautiful"

Does any of this sink in?

[NearlyNapping]

He gives you gold, silver and diamonds, and you complain because it's not a ruby.

[Buckzor]

Hot/sexy are descriptive words that are solely for sex interest. Cute/beautiful/adorable are overall attractiveness.

[givenuponlife]

I think that you may be looking into it too much. I can understand what you are thinking but I feel as though

[givenuponlife]

But I feel as though it’s nothing to be upset about

[rafflesia]

sexy is old term used for hollywood bombshells like marilyn monroe
second anyone can be hot just need the right personality

[Cmasterson]

No, at least you're getting compliments.

[Cmasterson]

BUT its kind of offensive that he said he doesn't associate those words with you just because you're his girlfriend.. lol

[Asker]

Uh how is that offensive?

[Cmasterson]

Well I like to be told im sexy so.. just because im someones girlfiend would automatically mean im not sexy? Also "Uh how is that ofensive" when you're over here complaining that he doesn't call you that lol. You have to think about why you want to be called the alternatives.

[Asker]

you're the only one here saying its offensive

[Asker]

And you just contradicted yourself
you're telling me no i shouldn't be upset but its offensive what he said?
Wtfck

[Cmasterson]

Im saying to me personally I would be offended because I can be cute funny and sexy and still be someone's girlfriend. I'm saying you're surprised at my answer but you're complaining that he isn't calling you hot or sex "wtf" so clearly you're not liking something about it.

[Asker]

No coz your contradicting yourself
You dont say to someone "oh yeah I would be offended if i was you but you shouldn't be upset"
How does that make sense?

[Cmasterson]

You and I are not the same obviously, but Im just wondering why you are upset... in the first place. I said intially you shouldn't be upset however when i read that 'because you're his girlfriend' seems a little silly to me...

[Cmasterson]

I didn't read the whole thing when I wrote my response lol. SO anyway, why do you think this bothers YOU?

[Asker]

Coz some guys say im hot/sexy
Even random guys I meet at the bar or club
But my own boyfriend doesn't call me that
He only says cute, adorable, pretty and beautiful

[Cmasterson]

And thats where I think its strange, how just because you're his girlfriend means he can't call you hot or sexy? I don't get that, and that WOULD bother me. Its nice that he compliments you in other ways, but honestly somethings are just petty. You have to think whether if its an argument worth having or if he actually sees you differently.

[Cmasterson]

I don't think it makes him love you any less so if he's never really called you those words before such as hot and sexy then don't second guess it and just appreciate it I guess.

[Asker]

But when i fully dress up, he does say "wow you look amazing"
But he always says to me "your lips are hot"

[LegendOfGAG]

What if that’s just his type.

[Asker]

Whats his type?
Hot and sexy women?

[LegendOfGAG]

Noo is he dating them? You he’s calling you that so that’s his type. He likes c*te girls.

[linds34]

No, seems like nitpicking.

[pitzi]

... what... no
Just take his compliments..

[TacosRAwesome]

Only if he's not into getting sexual with you.

[Neptune75]

I don't think you should be upset

[Asker]

Why not?

[Neptune75]

I think he values you more by not using those other terms. Sounds like he really cares about you

[HereIbe]

How eagerly does he fuck you?

[winterfox10]

No, you should not be upset about that. Grow up.

[Asker]

Grow up?
you're not a female so you dont know how it feels.
Dont say im immature because of this because most girls feel this way.
You dumb turd

[winterfox10]

I'm sick of these self defeating attitudes that all you girls have, seriously. Rather than focusing on the fact that he didn't use the same word to describe you as MEGAN FOX (an internationally recognized sex symbol, whose physique is modified with CG in all her movies, specifically to be the definition of sexy), why don't you focus on the fact that he called you adorable? Adorable, the same word that people attribute to things they hold precious to their heart.

[winterfox10]

Why not, instead of feeling like the world is holding you an insane standard (believe me, we aren't: that's other girls), why don't you focus on all the ways you can be the best version of you?

[Asker]

Stop acting all mr grown up
Dumb kient

[Asker]

You ain't shieeeettt

[Asker]

Lmfaoooo you imbecile

[winterfox10]

Annnnnd this is why women are emotional trainwrecks. You're a credit to your gender, sweetheart.

[Asker]

HAHAHHAAHA

[Asker]

IMBECILEEEE

[Asker]

ROFLMFAOOO

[fueledbythc]

Really?

[BOUNTYGUY9]

you a lucky girl