Boyfriend wants to break up because...

[lady_b89]

i have a problem. my boyfriend wants to break up with me because he thinks he is not good enough for me. he is problematic. I don't want us to break up. I really love him and he told me he misses me and he really loves me to. its just that he thinks that my family will get mad at him because he is like a bad influence to me. he told me that he just wants what's best for me.

i can't really forget him. I can't move on. and he is really problematic. I can't say what his problem is. but I told him that he shouldn't sacrifice our relationship because of that problem. I just want to be there for him esp.now he is really depressed.

whats the right thing to do people? :(

[iceprincess777]

guys will say things 'because he thinks he's not good enough", but be careful. it takes to move on but if he doesn't want to be with you then find a better guy.

he's really depressed, well then at least keep a friendship with him. don't let others tell you what's going on but then it's family, maybe they see things you don't and maybe just think if it's practical right now to have the relationship.

if he's got depression, he might need a counsellor or someone to help him as well. I don't see why you can't be there for him, you can. just be there for him.

[jessthatgirl]

maybe just ask him if you could do a 'cool off' and not necessarily break up. I don't really know the problem because you haven't said but that's the cause of his depression, right? If he really wants to change, since he's a bad influence then he should try to change his ways himself. Maybe you could support him on that and just be there for him.

[lady_b89]

his problem is he wasted a lot of money due to gambling. and he can't tell his 'rents because for sure they will get mad and he promised that he will not gamble again. he owes his friend money. that's why he is problematic.

[jessthatgirl]

parents concerns is understandable, if you were in their shoes I'm sure you'd feel a bit concerned about this yourself. Anyway because you want to stay with him and make this work make a plan. encourage him to see a specialist about his gambling problems if he can... to help him cope.. tell him to do it for both of you and encourage him to pay his debt back to his friends and to stop gambling. do the cool off and make sure all problems are solved so that when you are official again you can show

[jessthatgirl]

your parents he is deserving of you and then you can go back to being official.basically fix the problems first.

[lady_b89]

thank you so much miss jess for that helpful comment. I will try to talk to him again because he's not like this before. he doesn't know what to do. he thinks like its the end of his world.

[jessthatgirl]

np. I understand. Who wouldn't? he has many problems at the moment but just be encouraging and comforting and say things like 'don't worry, I'm by your side and we'll pull through together step by step' stuff like that. I mean it's a bit wordy but you can see the thought in that, right? No matter how big the problem is if you try and solve it step by step it will be solved so don't worry, once you get past this, won't be the end of the world and then hopefully your parents will see him better.

[lady_b89]

thanks! :) I just hope he gives me a chance to be by his side because before when he needed me I can't be there. that's why this time for sure I wanna be by his side. yeah he is confusing.because he is confusing me most of the time.but I guess we can pull through this. I hope. again, thank you so much :)

[jessthatgirl]

np and I wish you all the best :) nothing should be unsolvable.

[Anonymous]

he is hard on himself and he feels guilty for things in his life. He is not be totally honest with you, that's why he feels you could do better. You deserve someone who gives you their full heart and trust and he is unable to. I think you guys should take a break (since he recommended it) and allow him time to figure his life out.

[lady_b89]

actually I'm giving him time. but there are times that when I try not to think of him I don't contact him he tells me/calls me like he is being sweet and asks me why am I not contacting him. or when I'm online he tells me he loves me and he really misses me. he is really confusing. he is really confused. and he is confusing me also lol

[Anonymous]

I think you should wait a while before breaking up.