Can two submissive people have a good relationship?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for 6 mths. It seems he’s not very dominant. Prefers me to give him the green light. It’s usually me that makes the moves. However i don’t really enjoy that role and have done it in order for us to have a sex life. He says he likes me being dominant.
im beginning to wonder if we are a awkward match. He’s not very adventurous either.
is it possible for two similar people to have a good relationship or should I reconsider? He says he likes me but at this point we aren’t that invested yet.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Fie, fie! unknit that threatening unkind brow,
And dart not scornful glances from those eyes
To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor:
It blots thy beauty as frosts do bite the meads,
Confounds thy fame as whirlwinds shake fair buds,
And in no sense is meet or amiable.
A woman mov'd is like a fountain troubled,
Muddy, ill-seeming, thick, bereft of beauty;
And while it is so, none so dry or thirsty
Will deign to sip or touch one drop of it.
Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper,
Thy head, thy sovereign; one that cares for thee,
And for thy maintenance commits his body
To painful labour both by sea and land,
To watch the night in storms, the day in cold,
Whilst thou liest warm at home, secure and safe;
And craves no other tribute at thy hands
But love, fair looks, and true obedience;
Too little payment for so great a debt.
Such duty as the subject owes the prince,
Even such a woman oweth to her husband;
And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour,
And not obedient to his honest will,
What is she but a foul contending rebel
And graceless traitor to her loving lord? —
I am asham'd that women are so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace,
Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway,
When they are bound to serve, love, and obey.
Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth,
Unapt to toll and trouble in the world,
But that our soft conditions and our hearts
Should well agree with our external parts?
Come, come, you froward and unable worms!
My mind hath been as big as one of yours,
My heart as great, my reason haply more,
To bandy word for word and frown for frown;
But now I see our lances are but straws,
Our strength as weak, our weakness past compare,
That seeming to be most which we indeed least are.
Then vail your stomachs, for it is no boot,
And place your hands below your husband's foot:
In token of which duty, if he please,
My hand is ready; may it do him ease.

ChronicThinker · Accepted Answer

Submissives don't tend to do well together because one is always looking for the other to take control. I personally don't think it will work, i feel you'll get bored forcing yourself to be dominant.

Losalt · Accepted Answer

Hum...
It might be difficult.
It would help if the two of you are willing to have a more open relationship with other more dominant partners involved.
And while you can't *make* him turn into a dominant you can try to nurture his dominant side and see if one emerges by not interrupting him, stop talking when he interrupts you, ask him about his preferences when you got a choice to make and then try to keep those in mind when making choices in the future.
Not argue with him when *he* makes choices, etc...
If he truly is only submissive and not a switch or some such then all of this won't work at all.
But it might be worth trying out.

bubbatxman · Accepted Answer

I think it’s best kind of relationship. You respect each other’s feelings. You just need to communicate to the other person when you’re horny. Sit him down and explain that it is a shared responsibility in a relationship to communicate when you want sex. Tell him that he has to initiate the next time. Wait for him to do it. My wife and have a “horny code” we use to let the other know we want sex. Sadly, my wife used it on me two days ago and our kids were literally on their way home. 5-10 minutes was not going to get it done. It is a huge ego boost to a guy when a girl initiates foreplay, but you need to let him know it’s time to “take you”.

ImSoSquishy · Answer

in my opinion, 2 submissives can get along just fine. dominant+submissive doesn't always mean it'll automatically be a happy couple. no matter how more or less dominant the person is, in the end it'll still depend on how the other aspects of the dominant person's personality. but in the end, regardless if it's submissive+submissive, submissive+dominant, or dominant+dominant relationship, there will still be disagreements because everyone has their own likes and dislikes, it really just depends if the person is willing to give up what they want for what you want and not be upset/butt hurt about it especially if it's something you really want.

Alan180188 · Answer

you might spend good time together, enjoy eachother's company for a while, but it won't last let me be honest with you, you're gonna start pushing him unconsciously toward dominating you by acting weird and maybe even hurting him without meaning it, degrade him and make him jealous, and since he's submissive he's gonna subconsciously love you even more and put out to all your shit which will drive you crazy and push you to break his heart so bad you won't forgive yourself, so it's not late, do it now and save yourself a horrible memory !

NJRIII · Answer

You need to have equal amounts of give and take if you are going to be happy in the long run. He is going to need to play the dominant role from time to time in order to keep you on your toes and remaining interested in him or you will eventually get bored.

LupusEtLunam · Answer

It could work, but its harder than if two dominants were in a relationship., you have to compromise for each other in order to both be happy. For example. Say you are in an especially submissive mood, he should be the one being a bit more dominant. Hell, while you're at it, you can be "dominant" by commanding (instructing) him where to go amd what to do. He might enjoy this and you will too because you're being submissive, but dominant at the same time.
Though, if that is something that doesn't show effectiveness, then it might not be a good match, period.

BlondieGirl_ · Answer

He's a man there's gotta be some instinct there. Drive him wild and make him feel dominant. Maybe f*ck him until he's really into it and then tease him like only put it in a little bit and hell take over (girl on top is good for this). Or tease him and then get on yor back like make him want to f*ck you. Eh? Hope that helped :)

serious · Answer

"im beginning to wonder if we are a awkward match. He’s not very adventurous either.
is it possible for two similar people to have a good relationship or should I reconsider? He says he likes me but at this point we aren’t that invested yet."

Well, it is possible for two very submissive people to have a good relationship but things would keep getting awkward every now and then.

RonJon20 · Answer

I think you are answering your own question. First, I do think that 2 submissives can work just fine if that's what you both want. But what I'm hearing you say is that you need him to pick up the lead.
I wouldn't give up on your relationship, however you do need to make it clear what your expectations are, and you also need to consider his point of view.
But in the end, if your comfort level continues to suffer, then perhaps it may be time to move on.

funguy90 · Answer

I think a proposed has its own set of challenges. It's forcing two people to accept roles that they are normally not used to doing. I think you're two people genuinely like each other than they can make it work. But if you find it's becoming more of a tedious task as opposed to something that's coming natural then maybe it is time.

ROCKS128 · Answer

Lol, u both seem good couple.
I guess u shld watch more romantic/erotic movies together, it may help u both reduce this prob of being submissive (i dont mean porn) and u shld hang out with other couples, it will show u how they are & may initiate one of u to nail it!😂

Roooni · Answer

A relationship is not just based on sex therefore if him lacking dominance as a man affect his daily life as in not taking the lead in anything in the relationship then it's another story and you should consider ending it

purplevicky118 · Answer

I mean are you guys open to seeing other people for sex? And are either of you switch? If the answer to both of those are no, I don't see you two being very sexually compatible

Jessipari · Answer

Under some special circumstances two non dominant people can be in a lasting relationship. But the lack of dominance on one part could lead to identity role issues , for example it might make the guy feel Insecure that the girl leads even if he wants too but can't muster it. The best way to achieve this special healthy relationship is to keep open communication, understand each other deeply and be open minded of yourself and your partner.

Anonymous · Answer

Things can work out all you have to do is talk it amongst your self if you already having sex then you can be a little more open about things with each other, look up some softcore porn (Ik taboo) but you can pick up on how some of those plays are based on emotions and feeling the partner, light kissing n stuff

iamconfusion111 · Answer

They can get along as long as they understand each other. But they both need to have at least some sense of dominance, especially in a relationship if you want it to work.

EvilAngel114 · Answer

Hell I don’t know. Someone has to take charge in the relationship. I guess it could work for some people, but not for me.

9teen · Answer

I don't think so. It will end in dissatisfaction. It takes two opposites to have something successful.

winterfox10 · Answer

No, 2 submissive people cannot have a good relationship. It will always be awkward and a point of tension between you. Submissives will always be happier on the receiving end of attention.

kirali55 · Answer

you both need to be satisfied, if you're not it won't work

SupernovaV10 · Answer

Not very likely. Opposites attract for a reason. Personality should be similar, but in terms of something as important as this... you gotta have dominance. Most women want a dominant man for good reason.

lemmingj · Answer

Sure, you just have a normal fucking relationship. Not everything has to be about BDSM.

Can two submissive people have a good relationship?

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