Normally, I would say no. However, just back in January ny current boyfriend and I were going through a really rough patch. I was pregnant but losing the baby. When my appointment came along, it turned out that my baby had passed on and I was given a pill to extract the fetus from my uterus. The day i miscarried, he went out and got completely hammered. His buddy invited down this chick that my boyfriend had slept with in the past and she deliberately seduced him. I wouldn't have believed it myself but an acquaintance of mine was at the party and videotaped the whole thing. My boyfriend was on the couch dozing off and had a vomit bucket beside him when this girl straddled his lap and started kissing his neck. The video showed her just about carrying him into the bedroom with her. He slept with her. He came home the next morning and told me everything. Had the girl blocked off everything before even returning home and she still continues to be blocked. Did it hurt? You're damn straight. But in a sober mind he would not have done that.
To be fair, if she had to carry him then I think it would be rape. If he can't stand and walk then I doubt he can give consent. Carrying a woman who is vomiting and out of it into a bedroom and having your way her is rape, same with a man, no? (Rhetorical question, not meant to be rude.)
@devilman666 no, you are 100% right. See, I said the same thing. But his argument to that was the fact that he was able to get hard and sleep with her so he doesn't see it as rape, so much as a really bad lack of judgement.
@DestinyElizabeth04 good on him to take responsibility then, but I'd still argue that a woman getting wet during the act doesn't change whether or not it's rape. But if he was actively participating then yeah, it probably wasn't rape.
@devilman666 he said he was on bottom while she did all the work and also stated that he had made her stop, went and puked and then got back on the couch before falling asleep. So I am not 100% sure what actually happened within the bedroom but from the video, I know he was completely out of it and took full responsibility immediately afterwards. Which takes a lot for someone to do.
If what he says is true, I'd say it was probably rape then, but can't be sure of course. I agree about it taking a lot to take responsibility for it.
If you need to be supervised while you're under the influence just so you don't cheat on your partner, then you shouldn't be doing it at all. It's pathetic, irresponsible, immature, and just a shitty excuse.
If my partner ever cheated on me and used the excuse that he was under the influence, he's be out the door. I don't care what the reason is, the point is that you cheated and that's a horrible thing to do.
I've been really fucked up but NEVER cheated on my partner because I can control myself even when I'm shitfaced, as should everyone. If you can drink responsibly then don't do it at all.
Being under the influence of alcohol and most drugs don't 'cause' a person to cheat or get sexy with people like most seem to think. They simply turn off a person's inhibitors that cause them to not do something they want to do.
So if you would normally *want* to fuck that hot girl over there but refrain because you don't want to cheat on your girlfriend, you will still do it while under the influence. The brain finds it harder to register "this is a bad idea" and exponentially easier to register "i want this" or "I don't want this."
With that in mind, if my partner was knowingly under the influence, then that's not a factor in whether I would forgive them or not.
Yeah. My last ex was roofied at a friend's birthday party and too drugged out to realize or stop the fact that some bitch had dragged him off to a bathroom to suck him off. She knew I was dating him and she manipulated his already clouded head and made him think that I was the one fucking him instead of her.
I can forgive you if you can't help yourself, even if I don't want to.
Lmao that sounds like a porn plot, I can already see the title.. “Sucking a gay guy”
I'd normally be laughing at that if he didn't come home to me crying and saying he wanted to kill himself for cheating on me
Opinion
124Opinion
Hell no! Even when I am drunk off my ass I still know exactly what I am doing! I don't lose my ability to reason just because I've had a few drinks or I am stoned. Absolutely NO excuse! As a matter of fact, most people get drunk just to have sex and use that as an excuse for sleeping with someone outside their "social proof" zone.
u HELL NO! The things that people do when they are under the influence are the things that they wanted to do when they were sober but in need of liquid courage to cross the line.
Still responsible for their actions. That lack of self control is anyhow a dealbreaker.
Once a cheater, always a cheater
I say nope. This is how I see it. When your on drugs or alcohol all your inhibitions are out the window. So if you cheat while under the influence you are or were clearly thinking about cheating in some way when you are sober. You just have no filter. And I don't find being drunk or whatever a reasonable excuse. Everyone knows that excuse because it's used too often because people can't get their shit together and respect their partners. It's become the "norm" which is really sad.
However, what someone qualifies as 'cheating' can also depend on the circumstances. If my partner was drunk and someone came on to them, kissed them, but they pushed that person away that's fine. They didn't initiate or continue the kiss, and it clearly was not their fault.
If you truly love, care and respect someone you wouldn't cheat. It's that simple. There's no need to toss in all this 'I was drunk' nonsense to justify your actions. If you do then you don't truly love, care or respect your partner or partners.
That depends on the age of the person and also the life experiences they have apps that point. I mean a certain ages you're very curious and you might as well as developed you don't consume alcohol the same type of level or responsibility as you do older so yes to be very easy to make a mistake consuming too much alcohol or drugs whatever the case at a young age still exploring our options
Now there's some people who been the same person since he was 16 years old never experiencing anything different so long time right person perfect mix of alcohol or drugs I said very easily happening anyways you don't understand that and just depends on the moments or weeks after the incident is that person truly sorry or they have regret will they ever do it again you don't know if you cross that bridge
No situation where the person has live their life has no reason to be cheating just happens to be a dog or can't keep their legs or pants up forgive them, no if you repeat offenders will never change and you should quit dragging people under your life of b******* she want to be single and sleep with whoever you want and be single and sleep with whoever you want quit f****** people's hearts and child's lives because you're selfish insecure person
So as someone who is 23 and have been under the influence a lot in the past, I can tell you that every time I have been under the influence I have 110% known what I was doing! Yes my judgement was clouded and my hormone levels were threw the roof, but I still knew what I was doing. Every person I kissed, every number I gave/received, and that one time I cheated myself on someone I was dating. I take all responsibility for because even when I was drunk and cheated, I knew what I was doing and at that time I didn't care. The next morning there was regret and I went to his house and had a long conversation and took all responsibility for my actions because I knew if I drank too much I would do stupid things, but yet I let myself drink that much anyways. A person knows their limits. If you're going to drink to the point you cheat on your partner, you're stupid becayou knew 6 beers would do that to you. Just because you regret it the next day, doesn't make it right. It's an excuse to continue to be a bad person and have people forgive you. It's like getting in a car under the influence, should you forgive them if they get in an accident? You can say it's different, but it's really not...
I knew if I drank that much I would do stupid things. It's like asking if a person under the influence got in a car and ended up in an accident, should they be help responsibility? You can say it's different, but it really isn't... They were drunk/high, they knew they were drunk/high, but they did it anyways
Never. Regardless of the excuse my partner gave me to justify cheating on me, I'd never be able to overlook it. I'd then know exactly what he's capable of during a weak vulnerable movement.
I value loyalty above all else. So I could never forgive any sort of betrayal. A betrayal shows me their future potential with me. My trust could never be rebuilt or regained
I would only be able to move on from the hurt if I ended our relationship, and cut all ties with him. I'd make both our lives a misery for both of us if I stayed after being cheated on
**Moment**
Alcohol lowers inhibition. The person you are when you're drunk isn't the person you are when you're normal. In essence, they are two entirely different people. Inhibitions make us who we are, in my opinion. So, if I believed in cheating, and if I believed that my girlfriend had just "fucked up", while she was wasted, yeah, I'd let it go. If it became a continuous thing, I'd start being like, "Okay, you have to change something, or I'm gone."
For drugs, it would depend on which drugs. Pure cocaine makes you unbelievably horny. As does MDMA. I would understand the overwhelming impulse to have sex, if she were under the influence. If it was like weed or something, I'd be more upset than if it were other drugs.
In essence, what I want to know is: to what degree was she being otherwise influenced by chemicals? Was she sorry that she cheated? Would she take it back if she could? Is this routine behavior or just one accident?
The way I see it, he is unhappy in the relationship. He has not only cheated but turned to drugs as an escape. It is clear to me he does not want the relationship. We can be friends I do not leave from anger. I very simply have no desire , nor intention , of remaining with someone who no longer chooses me. Checking out can manifest in various ways. These in my opinion are three very transparent. Drugs cheating secrecy.
I can forgive , I don’t need to be angry for someone’s despair, but I will not stay.
Other than maybe being slipped something without her knowing, no. If she herself decided to get high or do ecstasy or something that was her choice, then no. If she was getting herself drunk enough to be messing around herself (if it wasn't rape or something like that), then why are we dating? to me that's a huge issue.
I'm kind of into girls who can control themselves and know their limits. If she's smoking pot or doing heroin (Again... except for instances where they were slipped something, that sort of thing...), then we'd probably be broken up. I don't let myself drink enough to not know where I am or not be able to walk or be able to keep things under control.
I would not for the simple reason that I would never have a friend that is doing drugs, thus this case would never happen.
As for the alcohol issue, I would ensure that, provided the person is together with me, has only access to limited quantities of alcohol.
If she/he does it when alone at a party, consumes beyond reason and finds herself/himself in the bed of another person, then it is clearly a breach of trust and she/he must accept the consequences.
If you forgive just once that the partner cheats you under the influence, she/he will do it repeatedly because she/he cannot control her/his sexual appetite. and thus does not deserve my love.
I will not retaliate by doing the same because I have that much dignity to know that it does not lead anywhere to do it just for spite.
@TarrAva Yeah, I tell all the girls I date that if they ever drink without me, do drugs, spend time alone with other men, or go out with friends without telling me first, it's a breach of trust and I dump her. Can't let cheating bitches get away with it.
I couldn’t because when I’m drunk I know what I’m doing and I make sure I don’t put myself in a situation where it can happen, if a guy knows he’s going out in an environment where there's going to be other girls and he knows he’s gonna get drunk/high it’s pretty obvious what can happen. It’s different if a guy is taking drugs without knowing and is pressured into cheating but if he does it freely he shouldn’t put himself in that situation then. Also I find it’s just an excuse , like someone can easily pretend they are under the influence and can get away with just saying “I was drunk”
Absolutely not. Generally speaking, everyone is responsible for the actions they take while under the influence of a drug, because if nothing else, they initially took the drug of their own free will--knowing the potential consequences.
This case is no different.
I have talked to many people about this. They all told me one thing: If you are loyal, you will not cheat in any circumstances. "too drunk" or "on drugs" are just excuses. It's true. If you let that slide, you are giving him/her another chance to cheat in the future because he/she will use this excuse again to cheat.
It's your life. You make your own decision here. Either way, you learn good lessons. You can either break up with that person or forgive him/her. I support either way. The only thing you earn here is experience. Our lives still have long ways ahead. make mistakes and learn.
good luck
You gotta be responsible while under the influence. I drink, I smoke weed, I occassionally eat magic mushrooms, but I don't lose control and go wild. You choose to do that and then blame it on the alcohol or drugs, it's just a lack or responsibility, a refusal to accept that you made the choice, not the alcohol/drugs.
I hate when people are like "I had no control" stfu. You have full fucking control unless you choose to drink yourself till you black out. That excuse wouldn't remove your responsibility in court if you were drunk driving, and it doesn't remove responsibility with cheating in my opinion.
No, being drunk or high on drugs isn't an excuse for cheating and in most cases, people still know what they're doing, even if they are under the influence. I've been cheated on and I made a mistake in staying with him. He didn't change, he just cheated again. I learned my lesson. In the future, I will never disrespect myself again by staying with a cheating partner, regardless of the reasons why they did it.
Fact: Alcohol and other drugs diminish inhibitions. People do not do things when they are drunk or stoned that they don't secretly want to do all the time. And a person usually will not do something while drunk that they would not dream of doing when sober.
No one forced your significant other to drink or take those drugs.
Honestly, No, I wouldn't.
In my opinion, I feel like when people drink, every person reaches a (what I call) "warning point" when you feel yourself starting to let go; I feel like at that point, that's when you put down the drink and say "enough", because going any further will make you easily capable of bad decisions and painful regrets.
I think the fact that they would drink or use any drug to get themselves to the point they had no control on themselves would be even more shocking than the cheating itself. Very irresponsible and quite alarming. I think they would not even be happy with the relationship at that point. For me drugs and alcoholism is an instant turn off and the cheating would do the rest.
Honestly I would be upset about the whole drugs part. Those aren't exactly the best course of action. Now, I honestly don't care about the cheating, to me it doesn't make sense as to why people make such a big deal about it since honestly it's just sex at the end of the day. Now drugs is a totally different thing altogether. I would help him/her out and possibly try to overcome it. Since that would be a much larger red flag than anything else.
Drugs itself is a deal breaker for me. Cheating would just be putting the final nail in the coffin for him. They could sweep him up with the rest of the trash after I kick his ass to the curb.
Nope, that’s not an excuse. I would forgive (which I have before), for their reasoning. My guy felt insecure and we had just started dating. He felt that I was doing it too and that I had already hurt him in the past. He basically hooked up with someone to spite me and did feel guilty. I did it too. So i forgave him. In a sense, he was right. We had the same reasons too. We needed better communication.
Otherwise if he said he had done it “just to do it” or “cause he was fucked up”... no fucking way. That shows they really WANTED to sleep with someone other than you. If they WANT someone else, that’s the problem.
Forgive yeah probably eventually but I sure as hell wouldn't be/stay with them anymore. If you truly are into your partner you would know that it wouldn't be a good idea to get wasted around people where something could potentially happen to betray the others trust.
Hmmmm honestly don't know since i do drink and then also did drugs in the past.
I think it depends how sorry they are, if they just act like it is okay because they were high/drunk then no.
But if they said that they were truley sorry and kinda begged for a bit i probably would.
But needs to be 100% truthful.
It would still be difficult to get over, but I would, yes. I've forgiven for cheating when the guy wasn't under the influence, and that was difficult but we worked it out. I don't think it's something that should immediately end a relationship. Quite honestly, I don't know that anything could mean an immediate breakup for me.
I will because if he is not in his senses how can i blame him and being a partner i should be the one who needs to be the most understanding to him and he should be comfortable enough to discuss it with me
However i don't get along with someone who does drugs, i am ok with alcohol though
As much as we say it’s not an excuse. It can be yes. You tend to engage in more risky behaviour under the influence
We don’t accept it because then everyone would just use that excuse. But I don’t think it can be valid at times
If the person is truly apologetic and would make sure it doesn’t happen again. I think a second chance is always deserved at times
I don't believe in the concept of cheating.. he does whatever he has to. we are not perfected robots who can behave flawlessly... our minds think things idealistically but they don't always apply to reality. . our time together is ours, it has nothing to do with anyone or anything else
I know this is semantics but I always point out "forgiveness" is just the state of the heart, letting go of the bitterness and ill will you harbor. Some can argue we should all forgive each other.
However you me it as in would you stay in that relationship with the cheater. HELL NO!!! She'd be dead to me.
I didn’t pick any of the options because i want to forgive and forget an issue and move on, not to mention that i want to be forgiven myself whether or not it depends on them. Just cuz you forgive the person doesn’t mean you have to stay with em (referring to before marriage).
Also doesn’t show I approve of their choice of lifestyle, otherwise I’d still be tagging along with that person.
Alcohol? No, absolutely not.
You know very well what you are doing, no matter how drunk you are.
Drugs? Depends what kind. If she is knocked out or barely conscious, can't even talk or barely move. Yeah i would forgive her.
If she is on stuff like excasty or LSD or weed or whatever, its no excuse.
Not a lot of options on the poll there... like an American election. 😅
I guess the thing is I wanna be fake and say no way, I'd dump her... But I don't know, I do know I'm weak when it comes to giving up on love.
"Baby I didn't mean it. I was drunk". Get the bloody Hell outta here. They made the choice to get drunk. They made the choice to be at the party with other drunkards.
Negative actions and negative states of mind creates more negativity.
People that go to parties and get drunk make no sense to me.
It depends. I forgave my current partner because of the circumstance, which was horrific. It took a lot to forgive. It wasn't easy. I just looked at the situation from above and determined she wasn't truly at fault.
It really depends on the circumstance. Being drunk or under the influence can really mess your brain up
If a girl blamed it on alcohol id be like i guess you can never drink a drop again since you can't handle yourself. :P
I am sure you didn't think this will get featured, but G@G loves you 😌 you are blessed.
As for your question, I would not forgive her drining or doing drugs, if she is my girl she have to be on the same page that I am on.
And I am guessing Ms Scorpio you won't forgive him, not even after a million years.
To forgive my partner for cheating she would have to have a very good explanation but to forgive her for doing it while on using drugs and alcohol she would have to go clean first that means no drugs or alcohol that's when I'd consider forgiving her cause those two things do very heavily affect your thinking and deision making and its not fair to judge someone when there not 100 percent in the right state of mind
My neighbor has approached me on many occasions
when she was drinking but i didn't act out on it and
i feel bad for her boyfriend cause she's done this with
more than just me but if she was my girlfriend sure i
would be upset about her doing this but i would ask
her why is she doing this and tell her she needs stop
and or i would set up to go to couples therapy.
Yeah... but only if it was an open relationship. THEN IT WOULDN'T BE CHEATING! I don't do normal relationships because I don't want to worry about cheating. I want him to do what makes him happy. Whether it's me, hot babe and average bitch... or just me--we're all adding to his happiness.
Fact is alcohol or drugs you still had to be in control to chat her up and get to a place to had sex. You mean to tell me you had control until that point and lost it? No the coincidence tells me that person’s lying and doesn’t deserve a second chance.
Eh, maybe, maybe not, if they don't remember anything, I'm not the alcohol police, but I'm sure if it was consensual then.
I have a lot of lines, and in my view, cheating isn't one of them. When you look at cheating from a broad perspective, there's so much romanization surrounding cheating and how it breaks people.
It's very interesting.
I would, as long it wasn't a regular thing. I have been cheated on, and cheated with (don't worry, I didn't know she was taken, and things ended as soon as I found out), but I have never cheated, and I can safely say that I have never understood these people who act like cheating is the worst thing that can happen in a relationship. Honestly... Cheating isn't even close to the worst, totally legal, thing your spouse could do to you.
Hell no! If you cheat it's because you want to that shit never just happens people want you to believe it does but it doesn't. you have to work up to it first you flirt then you exchange numbers or whatever you're going to do and you put yourself in that situation where it can happen and then it happens
A. If it was rape I would never hold that against her and be there for her and the mans ass to the point he wished he was dead.
B. If she was secretly slipped a drug I wouldn’t hold it against her.
C. Anything else that she chose no I would not forgive her.
Noooooo. I would not Short Stack. That's a short person's question. Tall people know the answer already.
Tall shack you confuse me
No, you are just extremely tall.
It really depends. If the lack of judgment was not deliberate, then I definitely would. E. g. spiked punch or date rape drug.
If diminished judgement was deliberate, then no. Partaking in a behavior that leads to cheating is not acceptable.
Hell naaah, that’s no excuse. If you can’t make rational decisions and stop yourself from making terrible mistakes when you drink alcohol then you shouldn’t ever drink in the first place.
I think it’s kind of understood that everyone would be mad at their partner for cheating? People are just focusing on the using drugs as an excuse for it aspect though.
If someone does something under the influence, it is likely that they have been thinking about if for a while. Like they say about drunk texts, you have to be thinking about it for a while to do it even when drunk.
F*ck no. That's no excuse, they're in control of how much they drink/take drugs (if they were doing illegal drugs, I wouldn't be with them in the first place) but anyway, being under the influence isn't a get out of jail free card.
I have forgiven a drunken kiss, although I didn't forgive him because he was drunk. I forgave him, because he was truly sorry. Being under the influence of alcohol or drugs is no excuse.
Okay, if my girlfriend was doing drugs or drinking so heavily that she did something that stupid, then obviously we have other problems.
No, the relationship would be over anyway.
There is some serious cognitive dissonance going on with a lot of the females here because we all know damned well that their answer would be different if a woman has drunk sex with a sober man, in which case they typically cry "RAPE - SHE WAS UNABLE TO CONSENT".
Do people seriously not see the problem here?
it will always be an excuse... if your S/O was really into you, whenever he is high or sober n horny, you should always be the first & only option that comes to mind... finally to forgive is Divine
Alcohol and drugs just bring up your unconscious mind. If he/she cheats on drugs, he/she is a secret cheating bomb that was ready to explode any time.
Alcohol doesn't make you do anything you wouldn't do not drunk. It only lowers inhibitions and brings out what's there already.
Other drugs, pretty much the same unless it's massively mind-altering substances.
No way. Good luck for his future relationships, he better be careful about when he should become drunk or not
If my partner were roofied and taken advantage of, yes, I'd get past it (it was not their choice to be roofied and taken advantage of). If however, they chose to drink/do drugs, and then end up cheating on me, good bye! Who's to say that it wouldn't keep happening "accidentally." We make choices (e. g. drinking and/or doing drugs), and those choices affect decision-making, but ultimately, we made the choices to begin with.
While I'm not someone who rules out any possibility of forgiving a cheater, the mere fact he was under influence wouldn't be enough of a reason for me to forgive him.
I would, though still kinda hurt, and become more protective about both my girl consuming those substances and who is around her if she does regardless.
Cuck
If she cheats on you she doesn't love you. You are a cuck if you accept that by definition.
You are a cuck by definition.
I have to agree with@TacoFamine on this one; this is cuck like behavior. Furthermore, if you're taking your girl back after she gets high and bangs some dude, you're not the "ass kicking" type. Sadly, you are the "I'm going to get fucking curb stomped in the CVS parking lot" type.
You're still young, make better decisions...
Someone call the cops, I have to report a 261 in progress.
Nope I wouldn’t forgive them. I have an issue with drugs and people that let themselves get drunk enough to do stupid things so even that in itself without the cheating would be a problem for me.
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