How do you reassure your partner when they have unwarranted doubts about you love or fidelity?

Question

pryderus · Accepted Answer

Yeah... I have definitely been the needy person... I’m not ashamed of it but I definitely know it is unwarranted a lot. A lot of times I think we “the needy” have a fear of love and connection and we are constantly looking for things to go wrong. Things are different for everyone, but I’ve always loved a good self sabotage. I know deep down my partner would never cheat on me (at least I hope), but sometimes the way he talks about cheating is very different than the way I view... thus the distrust. It’s a about love mostly. Reassurance, but not overly so, being affectionate but again not overly so. It’s a give and take, and a lot of people can’t stand it. If it’s dragging you down, I’d say leave but if it’s something you want to stay in... it’s all about communication.

StingRayxoxo · Accepted Answer

Sometimes it's just easier not to be with people like that.

Inexpensivefurniture · Accepted Answer

I would try to put their mind at ease first, but if they kept accusing me, worrying anytime I went somewhere without them, and/or kept going through my things for "proof" I'd have to leave. Their worries about infidelity are totally unfounded and if they don't trust me because of a previous partner or past experience, that sucks, but it's not my job to fix it. It's their job to work through their trust issues themselves, not dump them on a partner and expect accommodations

Lance1965 · Accepted Answer

It is about the feelings with women. You can talk all you like but if they are not feeling it the doubts will never go away and that is where a lot of relationships fail.

Jean-Marie_Céline · Answer

The moments she gets jealous - the moments she takes the "I trust you, I don't trust them" tangent - I do my best to relax and give her the attention she wants, because more often than not when she acts this way is a request for attention.

Apope16 · Answer

You can never do that... all you can do is love, time, and commitment. beyond that if they can see your love they dont deserve you

btbc92 · Answer

You just tell them and mean it. For me trust issues arise because that person give me all those promises and then walk out of my life, they betray my trust, they think I am so naive that I must be a doormat. Simply be HONEST. And like others have said, do not make them question your loyalty and love IF you say you do. Love is an action, not a feeling. Your love is proven when you meet your obligations towards that person. You have to take it seriously, because her whole life is in your capable hands.

RetroAlpha · Answer

My wife's first hubby was a cheater and a serial liar. She was always on guard when we first started dating - even up to 5 years later. It literally just took her some time to see that I really was "just working late", and that that woman I was talking to at lunch really was "just a friend", and so on.

The most that I did, was remind her that I was not her ex. I kept no secrets. I even let her play around with my phone. Didn't care, because I have nothing to hide. She got the hint and we're happy as can be. Just be patient and stay real with her.

hindril · Answer

I just don't do anything to make her question my love for her. @thusbutterfly36. I mean like look at other women or ask about dating unless it'll be like "I want to take my SO on a date, ideas?" She's my only one so why would I ask about dating or look at others? I love her.

Fitness-Fanatic · Answer

I'd first ask him where his doubts came from. Why he was thinking that way. I'd only know how to reassure him if I knew exactly why he doubted my love and fidelity. I'd need to know the underlying cause. It could be because of his insecurities or my behaviour

If it was because I was spending less time with him, I'd make sure I made more time for him. Only actions can remove any doubts. Words alone can't

alvincasey · Answer

Frequently especially when it's coming out of the blue, they aren't going crazy.
It's called projection. They are in fact the one with whom is having thoughts of infidelity.
They naturally are fearful because in their mind if they are having these thoughts they project them onto you thereby assuming your having the same thoughts

Doodabeat · Answer

That's a good question. With the help of the internet its possible for people to validate any of their "intuitions". If someone suspects that you're cheating, and depending on how much they've reinforced their paranoia, there may be nothing you can do. Some people resort to stalking because there is nothing their partner can do to convince them.

Wowgirl30q · Answer

Unwanted to you
Perhaps not them
Right or wrong that's how they feel sometimes its beyond reassuring and to making changes even if it's just to humor someone and you believe your right or even you are right. They feel that way right or wrong so as a couple you must Adapt to their feelings

sharonhale04 · Answer

I would explain it once, that they knew I had never given them any reason to doubt me or my honesty. That should be enough. If it isn’t, then it has become their problem and they will have to deal with it and get over their insecurities or they will make us both miserable and I can’t live like that.

ChiTown33 · Answer

Don't give them any reason to doubt it. Listen to their concerns/insecurities. And understand this is a battle in her head only she can win. Which means you might have to end it if she never learns to trust you. A relatioship can't flourish if thete's no trust.

Anonymous · Answer

I explain once and then wait for his questions. I tell him I'll reply anything he wants and we can discuss this as many times as he needs. I am open to reply to everything till he will be convinced.

Anonymous · Answer

I used to. These days, I don't want to deal with it. If he doesn't trust me, I end it fast.

I gave up my career in the past because he believed that I was exposing myself to commit infidelity. I stayed home for him. He was happy. After several years, he ended up shitting on me.

What did I learn? I only date a man who has confidence that I won't stray. He should worry about me wandering, not the guys who try to get in my jeans.

pizzalovershouse · Answer

I'm single but usely doubts start from insecurity of little things like the receptionist calling. from doctor or denist an you dint say you had an appointment

ChrisHumble_ · Answer

"How do you reassure your partner when they have unwarranted doubts about you love or fidelity?" I don't date needy people.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I honestly don't unless a specific situation made him think so.

scooogy · Answer

Remind them of the good times

Anonymous · Answer

yes ofcourse i do

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