It's possible, but it's unlikely and rare, at least for men. As a rule, men know if they're romantically attracted to a girl, or not, from their first significant interaction with her. And if she's in the "not" category, it's quite rare for that to ever change.I'm well aware that girls don't necessarily work that way - many girls can fall for a guy over time, but that's not how most men work.
Why not? What if she left the friendship and she became attractive and successful? I had a guy who pursued me relentlessly to only friendzoned me. He led me on and broke my heart. I stayed friends with him for a year. He was abusive and called me ugly and fat. He used me for my money. He pursued other girls while I was his friend and said I didn't compare. I'm traumatized and hurt by his rejection and abuse. I guess deep down I want him to regret hurting me. I never looked this good in my life and successful.
I was speaking about most guys and a normal, healthy kind of relationship. You're talking about an abuser - an abuser is going to be abusive and isn't going to act like a normal guy no matter what. Stay away from him and forget about him - and remember that all of his crap is HIS problem, not yours.
Thank you :-)
Sure it can what better foundation to build a relationship on other than a friendship. It should always be that way friends before lovers
Do you think there should be some level of attraction to pursue a relationship with a friend or will she get friendzoned?
Well that definitely has the be some attraction there to take it to that next level or else you'll just remain friends. Are you speaking from personal experience
I see...Yeah. I'm trying to understand attraction. I'm not exactly the popular choice. I get rejected a lot after being led on. I use to think it was my appearance or something is wrong with me, but it turn out it has to do more with my beliefs. I'm saving myself until marriage. I'm told I'm pretty, so I know it's not my looks. I'm not exactly the flirtatious kind either like other girls who have sex appeal. I'm rather shy, so I get stuck in the friendzone and get rejected... you feel me.
PM me I think we can figure this out
Thanks for the MHO
Yeah no problem... thanks for your helpful answer
I have a living example. My mom and dad. They lived in the same neighborhood as teenagers and their parents were really good friends. My dad loves photography and my mama was his favorite subject. Mama dragged dad to every movie she wanted to see. They were friends. The very best kind.They got married at 28 and recently celebrated 32 years of marriage.
Yes I’m sure of it. There’s been plenty of guys I wouldn’t have outright dated when i was younger but they became attractive to me as I got to know them. Plus, this is how it typically works for shy people or those with anxiety. Do the friend thing first until you feel safe to make advancements.
Have an opinion?
Yes, I believe so. My best friend and I fell for each other (back in high school). But then again, I had feelings for him and he had them for me for a long time before we admitted it.
It think is possible, it’s but it will take good chemistry in all areas. I mostly agree with what @MrOracle has said.
If and only if there is some level of attraction beforehand. I've been in a relationship with a girl I was platonic friends with first, but objectively speaking she was hot and we were attracted to one another. There were just outside circumstances that stopped that from happening. When she and I first met she was my friend's girlfriend. That's how I knew her. They break up and she dated another one of my friends, which is when I got to know her as a person and we became friends. They broke up, but she and I kept in contact over the summer via text/social media.Things became flirty and the following school year we became more than friends and she was my girlfriend months later. But if you went back to the beginning. If she were single when we met I likely would have skipped the friends part and we'd of just been flirtatious and ended up dating back then. Communication between guys and girls is sexual first. If nothing gets in the way of that happening that is the natural order of events. If there is attraction, something will happen unless an outside force stops that. For me it was her being in a relationship with a friend so my brain just wouldn't even go there, because of my personal code as a friend.I'm sure thousands of people have similar stories. Ended up dating a friends ex boyfriend or girlfriend, because they were attracted to them even back when they were in the relationship but couldn't. So it was only when that was over something could happen.
What if a girl is waiting until marriage... do you think the chemistry and attraction would be there for a guy?
You can't control what you're attracted to. So even if she is waiting until marriage it doesn't matter. But, that fact might stop something from happening because that would be considered an outside circumstance if it is important enough to him
I see... thanks for answering.
Yep, been there, done that, it was great :) We eventually moved on from each other but if things ever changed I could still see myself going back to that relationship I have no regrets from it. I want one day to marry my best friend whoever that may be. The hormones of romantic love are something that have a habit of just coming and going on a whim... when they're gone I still want to be spending my life with my best friend.
Were you attracted to your friend... was she "pretty" to you from the beginning?
Not entirely but she became more and more attractive to me the deeper I fell in love with her. People have it in their heads that there has to be an initial physical attraction in order for a relationship to be successful. That's simply not true. I fell in love with her without thinking she was drop dead gorgeous, but falling in love with her made me look at her as drop dead gorgeous. Platonic love can turn into romantic love without lust ever being involved and in some ways, it can define for you what it means for someone to be attractive or beautiful.
Man, I wish there was more guys like you with your mentality... and your really young too. The young lady who ends up with you or is with you will be very lucky... never change <3 Thanks for replying.
I appreciate it, I'm not in a relationship currently and for the moment I'm trying to focus on my college studies and making a living for myself but I hope one day to become best friends with a girl and spend my life with her.
Good thinking 👍
Has happened to me more than once. And like a bad movie, some exterior force always shows up and ruins things. Such that, in order to do right by her - and keep myself from going crazy - I have to let her leave. It hurts. Every time.
Did you fall in love with a friend or a friend fell for you? Or was it mutual?
Usually, she was just a bit flirty, and I fell hard. Even while trying to tell myself not to let it happen. I've been studying attachment theory. I'm definitely the anxious type. Granted, not as over-the-top as some of the examples they give (like Darth Vader.) But the paranoia, suspicion, clingy tendencies, are all there. No sooner do I fall, then I look around at everything that might possibly jeopardize my goal, and try to figure out how to ensure my goal isn't defeated. But there is always some outside factor that, for all my planning and scheming, there is nothing I can do. It feels like this: seeing my heart's desire plucked away, as if an eagle plucked a peach out of my hands - just to be an asshole. And the peach can't do anything about it either. Yet, I realize murdering the eagle would only backfire. And cursing the eagle will get me nowhere. So I'm left feeling robbed, helpless, and worthless. And determined that next time, I'm gonna plan even harder to secure the girl and my interests. Next time, I'm gonna hide a razor inside the peach. That eagle's gonna lose a toe if it cuts my peach open."Jokes on you this time, m*f*ker!"Yet... it never plays out that way. The eagle becomes a tank. Or the peach turns out to be a paper wasp nest in disguise. My love life to the world: "Am I a joke to you?"
It sounds like you were initially attracted to her either her personality or physically. I'm just curious if men ever fall for their platonic friends that they have no attraction at all or at least initially.I want to start friends first and it seems like I always get friendzoned. It seems like I'm minority... women don't get friendzoned often. I feel like something is wrong with me.
Personality, plus her taking action that suggests interest. When she's willing to pay attention to me, I feel obligated to give her attention as well.But when I'm suddenly ghosted, it puts everything in doubt.
Yes but only if both parties don't adhere to their part of the deal.Should it happen, then it would be high time to sever the ties because that is not really what you intended to lead in the first place.If I engage in a platonic relation, it is because I trust that guy to leave me and my sexual integrity alone and not to find myself in a situation that is getting out of control.Ciao, good bye, and au revoir!
My current girlfriend was my best friend for 4 years before we started dating, so in my experience, yes. I feel as if platonic-turned-romantic relationships tend to more often be the most stable, since you already know and have a strong bond with the person before you even start dating, you know?
Yeah, several times, especially when I was younger (and desperate for a relationship because I thought I had to be in one, lol)I started out as friends with about...3-4 of my guy friends? Had absolutely NO interest in them and enjoyed our friendship. But over time as I spent time with them and got to know them better, I started to like them! ... but the feelings were never mutual so...😂
Somewhat.My ex and I were friends before dating. BUT, we were both interested and attracted to each other right from the start. So I don't know if this counts as a purely platonic thing even tho we had no intention to date for a long time.
O and neither knew the other was interested till we actually hung out and ended up fuckin
Has it worked out with a friend who you weren't initially attracted to?
My ex ex, we were friends completely platonicaly for a while. She found me attractive but wasn't attracted to me, and I just didn't really see her that way at first. O wait the questing was if it's worked out... No lol
Yes. Once it happened. We met in a pub where she worked. She was a good bit younger than me so i never assumed it would go anywhere so kept it at friendship only. Three years later we were v close friends to tell you the short version... we had a row one night cos i told her i liked her more than friends. We both cried as we thought this was the end of everything. The next day she rang me, apologised for fighting and said "i love you". That evening we began dating full time and it was unreal.
Not if it's genuinely platonic love. Platonic love requires a certain unconditional acceptance of someone's being, while romantic love is a more selfish emotion. I think that romantic love is the kind of thing that you just know is there. This is why it's so important to be friends first; it allows you to understand the way someone affects you. You get to see what happens when you see them sad or stressed, or how you feel when you hold them; even the way they might hurt you.
yes it can. i've had it happen.i was incredibly good friends with a girl. i thought she was attractive but not in the way i typically found girls attractive but as we got closer and closer we developed a romantic connection in addition to our platonic friendship
yes but under one important condition :the person you love who views you as a friend has tried their luck with plenty of others and it never worked out so now theyre donwgrading or at least trying something they haven't tried before : you in a sense you're their last resort and that doest sound good
I believe it can. But those are some dangerous waters. All too often, one person develops romantic feelings and the other one doesn't. This imbalance can hurt the friendship.
Had that happen to me. :(
For me no I have to feel a bit attracted to them at first, otherwise they're just friends. However I've had a fair few guys who was attracted to me and tbh it gets annoying after awhile as I enjoy male company since it's not bitchy or annoying you can talk to each other and you know you won't be gossiped about I don't get that with a lot of female friends. Then next thing I know I get kissed or a confession and I just don't know what to do, I don't want to hurt their feelings 😖
I don't think it can. Because if I put her in the friend zone in the first place that means I don't like her. Unless I'm just pretending to be friends with her to get to know her and I have a secret plot to try to ask her out later on lol. JK; I probably would not do that; it's too much work, and too risky.
Are u a Scorpio
No; Sagittarius. Why?
Secret plots are Scorpio words. :P
It never happened to me personally.Who I deem attractive or not is something I decide on very quickly, and those who I deem attractive, I never pursue friendships with.
Any virtuous man who is abled bodied and not disabled is capable of winning my love unless he is too old or too young for me or if there are too many lifestyle differences between us
Heard this once, after 3 minutes a woman decides if she will or won't have? Ya'know? Can women have a platonic relationship and I'm seriously clueless.
What about you? Have you developed a crush or romantic feelings for a friend?
Everyone I chat with, I love to love people. Smother all people with affection and interest. I quit having sex in 1993 though. Something weird happened
Okay thanks for answering!
It takes less than 3 minutes for a human to decide if you are sexually attractive or not
I only want sex from one person. And haven't found that person yet. But I'm not normal. Very god fearing.
Yeah, though in my experience I wouldn't call it love, moreso a crush than anything else.
Did you develop a crush towards a friend or a friend developed a crush towards you?
Primarily the former. There was a small instance or two of the latter, but we weren't friends for long enough to consider it a variable in this case
Okay thanks for answering :-)
No problem 👍
Yup my friend online suddenly fall for me but I kept quiet until a few more dates as friends he told me he love me before I went home to my country and see what happen. He was supporting me during the exam week. Asking me to go out to spend some time before I freak out
Yeah I did once... her to me though. She was my best friend from when I was 8 and she was 10, as hormones came about in our teens we hooked up several times but neither one of us made it clear we wanted more than that, mainly because I never did. I had only just turned 21 and with a text out of blue she had confessed her romantic feelings for me, which I rejected. Years later she has moved on and so have I but I find myself thinking about her a lot. Oh well 😕
Only when physical attraction is involved. The heavier the physical attraction, the heavier the chance.
What does physical attraction mean to you? What if she is pretty, but she doesn't have the personality or sensuality/flirty demeanor that attracts?
I mean looks.
Yes. Friend of mill l mind married his childhood friend. They're a great match. Just depends on if you're compatible and willing to make things work.
Is attraction important like compatibility for the romance to work?
*friend of mine married.Yeh, I think it is. But depends on the person. For me, compatibility compliments and augments attraction. You don't have to be drop dead gorgeous. But if your personality draws me in, you'll be even more attractive to me.
I see, but you're a minority. Both men and women are very superficial. You can be a great catch, but people can make you feel not good enough. Then again, I've been with abusive men. Thanks for answering... appreciate that :-)
You're welcome! I totally understand. If anyone tries to make you feel worth less than great, it's because they're insecure really. Been down the abusive road too... never again. Never settle. :)
Yes, it can. in fact, it is the best one that there is because you that there can be trust, loyalty, and care for one another.
What's the difference between platonic love and romantic love?
Platonic love is that love you feel towards your siblings... there is no sexual or romantic chemistry. It's a best friend that you are not attracted to kiss them or have sex with them. Romantic chemistry is that want to be intimate and you want to have a relationship with them. You are attracted to them more than friends... desire to kiss them
So, the only difference is that with romantic love, the person wants to be intimate with the other person?
Practically... and not even sexually. It's wanting to kiss, cuddle, hold hands and do romantic things that you don't do normally with a friend.
what romantic things other than what you've mentioned?
Go on candle light dates... it's not regular hang outs. You feel the butterflies or excitement to see the other person. You go out of your way to want to make the other person happy. I do that with friends too, but I feel when I have romantic feelings... I imagine a future with them. I can't stop thinking about them and I start getting nervous. I just want to spend more quality time alone with them.
Hypothetically possible, but don't count on it. It's a bit squicky, too. After all, you're converting someone who is the emotional equivalent to a sibling into someone you fuck.Just a bit squicky.
So you're basically asking if you can get out of the friendzone. If you're a guy it's highly unlikely because a girl will be weirded out by him going from acting like a friend to being flirty, touching etc so why resort to that when you could find many other guys. If you're a woman then yes it's possible because guys are more desperate due to the lack of options in dating generally. It's a lot of time and effort to find and attract someone you like so every once in a while a guy will just say fuck it why not.
Of course. The same neurotransmitters that form the bonds of friendship will work for romantic attachment.
Personally that's the kind of relationship that makes sense to pursue. My eventual special one needs to be a really great friend before anything else.
For sure it can.Although it is very difficult for both of the people involved to develop romantic feelings for each other at the same time.
I've never gone from platonic to romantic. Although I'm open to it.
Absolutely but it must be pure, authentic and with good intentions. Such people must have similar or the same morals, values, principals, often faith and beliefs if regarding religion, and most of all in life choices and decisions. You do not what to date romantically a person who believes in premarital sex and you don't, or you do and they don't. Want marriage and they don't, want children in the future and they don't. Especially if the family doesn't like you. And make sure this is not about how attractive they look or how nice they treat you.
Yes, I have befriended a few women and they have shifted from friendship to those women having romantic feelings for me.
Meh, romance is a joke. Just masturbate (Not joking) Once you masturbate all that silly romance day dreaming goes away.
Ya i have the experience but its not good it did not end well because it was one sided kind of felling if you both feel the same may be it can work.. 👍
i haven't had it happen to me specifically, but i've heard of it happening w some of my older friends, so yeah :}gl tho lmao
Yes, that does happen and has happened to a lot of people. My parents started out that way and ended up married.
Yes, if there is physical attraction, at least a bit, then it’s possible.
It totally can. I have not experienced this though 😇
I haven't had it happen. It's nice to think it could though i suppose.
Absolutely it can! I haven’t experienced it myself, but I’ve seen it happen to many friends of mine.
Possible. But very unlikely. :)) Once they see you as a friend, then you'll be just a friend.
Yes. Three year long friendship turned into love.Should've stayed just friends.
Yes friendship is sometimes better, love can be fickle, you have to put more effort into love, friends dont ask for more as they are pleased with just being there for a friend
@teachgirsx Not the reason we should’ve stayed friends.
Anything can happen when you have two people spending time together...
Yes, my current girlfriend. Six months into our friendship.
I have absolutely no need for platonic relationships with women so it's never a problem.
Hmmm. Maybe. But chances are very low that it will happen to both sides.
it happens to the best of us everyday, more so than you'd think
Yes. In fact I think that is the most logical way to go about it.
It happened for my mom, and I don't know anyone happier and in a better relationship than my parents
Under the right situations, I think any of the other 4 types of love could become eros love, yes.
Of course. There's a reason you were attracted to each other in the first place.
No, but I dreamed of the moment literally, and she talks to me almost every day, I have a girlfriend though
I believe so. I think good relationships start well when the two are friends first
It can with telling your desired partner what you want.
Not at all, there are variations of love and that's ok
This is the best way. Be friends first. Then date. Then much later atop trust consider adding sex.
Sure. I guess that's more long term than a relationship just based on lust.
I sure do hope it can. Im in a similar situation and I love him and I think he feels the same way
Be careful. You need to know for sure before you let your heart fall in love with him.
You cannot undo this action. The opinion owner is going to be notified and earn 7 XPER points.