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I think they're for people who don't want to take the time to really vet out their partner longterm and take the time to build that rock solid foundation, so they throw up the safety net that implicitly says they don't trust you to not hurt them and it subconsciously affects the entire relationship. And since you never build that foundation it's likely to end. Marriages with prenups have a significantly higher probability of divorce. To me that is telling of both the people in their character and values.
You shouldn't be looking at marriage when you've only known someone for 1 year. If you've been dating for 2 years, that's a long enough time to really develop true deep love. Because you've seen them happy, sad, angry, stressed. relaxed and gotten a wide enough view of who they really are deep down. So if you can honestly say you love them 2 years in that has more meaning that 3 months in. It's at that time you might consider the idea of marriage seriously. Because In those two years you SHOULD have developed intimacy with your partner well enough to know if you can really trust them and trust the relationship.
Sounds good I have a house that's bought and paid for I don't want some bitch coming along taking my house away. So sign the prenup
Yeah admittedly all I have is a Mac and a PS4 and a load of music shit but still that's ma shit!!
You have to be careful. In many instances the court can throw them out and not honor them in circumstances. So just because you have one, it does not guarantee you total protection of your assets. It also depends on the status of your partner if you split. If she becomes homeless or in poverty, then you will likely have to give them enough to sustain life. And there are assets you cannot always protect... at least in community property states.. like your 401k, retirement plan, work salary, etc. because technically "half" belongs to your partner as soon as your marriage begins.
Anyway, be careful and do some research. It would probably be a good idea to consult with a lawyer first.
I know this may be a long way off but for others reading this considering them who are getting married soon, please take this into consideration. I know this because I researched into it.
Prenups only protect the money you had before marriage. They don't protect what you gained after, or prevent you from having to pay your ex alimony to sustain the same standard of living she had with you. That part is absolute bullshit. She should only get money to survive and maybe a little more if needed, but anything else is just wrong, and personally, I think it shouldn't last more than 3 years, because if she can't get on her own two feet by then it's her own dam fault. And yes this applies both ways. I'm just talking through the straight Male perspective.
If I were to get married, I would want a prenup.
Believe it or not, women have to pay spousal support too. Whoever makes the most money has to support the other person if a divorce is brought to the table.
I’m not rich or anything but... im definitely not broke and I want to be able to separate my accomplishments and hard work from any romantic partner. Even if the relationship lasts forever.
I’m not really concerned about the statistics so I don’t worry about divorce. I just want my things to be mine. I don’t want to share the credit or benefits for something that was there LONG before some other person stepped into the picture. What’s yours is yours, what’s mine is mine, and if you want—we can create something else together. Simple.
Just don't get married. Marriage is a sacrifice, and if your not prepared to lose anything, your showing you don't really trust your wife, and that's selfish. Yes, it does say that because now you cursed your marriage. You shouldn't even be thinking about divorce. That's how plenty get into divorce. Because they cursed it and themselves by having sex before marriage. THAT is how nearly 90% of divorces started. If you never really had anything accumulated during the marriage, they can't take it anyway. Only what is accumulated during marriage such as a house, children, etc is discussed. Not personal belongings before that.
What does the sex have to do with it?
@Twenty2
And you do realize that at that point if that's all you want to care about is yourself you just don't need to be in a relationship. You may need to stop acting like you're the only ones that get hurt. Women get hurt too. But many you and keep marrying the wrong kind of women, or you do dumb things that end your relationship and marriage with your wives in the first place. And if she is a type of person that really doesn't give a damn about you, why get married to those kind of people? Plenty of you know exactly the kind of women you married and then you complain once it ends. You got to take equal responsibility for what you choose to do. Never get yourself involved with a woman who takes life to be a game and just a materialistic woman. Stop worrying about the courts and worry about your marriage first.
If you don't want to get screwed over the best thing you can do for yourself is remain celibate and don't touch a woman. Touching a woman will be more than enough just to get you into the courts faster than getting a divorce. Joint stuff together, she can still get you sued what if she got married to or not.
That is not a marriage! That is not taking responsibility that is you being a coward. This is why if your going to selfish, you don't get married. Period. Nobody has time for games. Bible or not. Has nothing to do about marriage being a two-way street. It's about why you choose to get married in the first place.
What kind of marriage life do you expect having to deal with the person making you worry if their using you? I wouldn't want to be married to somebody like that. Be in constant fear somebody will divorce me. I wouldn't be able to survive that psychologically. One if my close friends just got a divorce about 2 months ago, and it still hurts her to this very day. You don't know the seriousness of the psychological and emotional effects divorce has on people.
Marriage is NOT SOLELY or even MOSTLY ABOUT sex. And if sex is ALL one wants, then marriage is unnecessary!
You people sadly do not get it at all. That's why you wait until marriage to have sex because it is about sex. To have happiness and whatever else you want in the meantime it's only depends on either you or your spouse together. You are the make it bus or you make it hell you make that decision. I cannot make that for you. You people don't like it as a said before you should not be married. Too selfish.
@btbc92. Sorry. I don't agree with you, but that's ok. Peace out.
LOL! Already been down that road.
Opinion
47Opinion
It’s a personal choice. Most marriages end in divorce due to bad mating strategy to begin with. In general, people are foolish and dumb and are choosing the wrong partners. The question is, are you one of them?
I understand those who may want to have one.
We don't have that concept where I come from. Both sides equally lose from the divorce.
Women that get upset that their man asked for a prenup and try to shame him into not getting one by saying, "you only want one because you already think this marriage is going to fail, and you don't fully trust your woman" are the type of women that are literally going into the marriage with intention of getting a divorce so they can take half his shit. If she truly loves her man then signing a prenup wouldn't be a big deal. Plus it saves her ass as well since it's not just "whats yours is yours and mine is mine". Prenups decide clarifying financial rights, avoid arguments in a divorce over who gets what because it was decided long before when the two loved each other as opposed to deciding when they hate each other, protects each other from debts. Just imagine women, if you don't sign a prenup and you get a divorce and your personal debt is fine but his has gone to shit. . . you're going to be taking some of that debt along with you without that prenup. Also, let's not forget that a judge can toss a prenup aside if they think that the prenup is not fair. If you truly love each other going into the marriage then if the marriage does not pan out you want to make sure that you both come up with a fair assessment while you guys care about each other rather than try to figure it out when you could be at each others throats.
If you’re already entering a marriage thinking “this one might not make it” then you better not even bother getting married.
Unless you’re a millionaire I don’t think you should bring that bad juju into the relationship.
However if the other partner already has kids then for sure it should be more focused on protecting what belongs to the children.
I'm def getting a form of prenup. Here it's called registered partnership. You can still get married and everything, but what's yours is yours and what's mine is mine. F. e. if his parents granted him 100k it would be his only after a divorce. I want it to be that way. Not because I don't believe it will not last. But simply because it feels wrong or weird that if you get married you suddenly share everything.
I think it's fine to have a shared bankaccount where we tribute equally to. Like for daily things, food, rent, new washing machine etc. But I also think it's important we both have our own money that we can spend on safe as we each like.
I'm more about equality in a relationship. So for me it's not a safety net. More a way to make sure (legally) that we can be together, but still be free. As in... not having to share every little thing.
I somewhat support prenuptial agreements.
Marry someone you don't want to lose. Marry someone that the anguish in your heart from a divorce would outweigh anything you keep in a prenuptial.
I don't believe in alimony or handing over the whole house and property to someone.
Keep what you pay for. If you both paid for the land, then sell it and split the profit, or one of you pay for the remainder of it if you don't want to let it go.
I see material possessions as a personal thing. If I marry a woman with land and we get divorced, she keeps her land.
If a woman marries a guy with land and they get divorced, he keeps his land. Etc
While these agreements make sense for those with a lot of assets, keep in mind that the courts don't have to honor them. The big reason is that no one can "agree" to break the law so if the courts find that the agreement is in violation of laws, they'll just ignore the prenup agreement anyway.
Opposed.
Aside from philosophical & ethical opposition to the concept, legal worthlessness is also a grounds for rejection. Time & time again, they have been nullified, voided, invalidated, etc.
So why waste money on paper that will be just thrown into the fire anyway?
Always have one. Imagine it doesn't work out, you'll always be glad you had one. I feel each person should keep their own money separate too. Always protect yourself in this matter. Cause when it goes bad, they won't care usually if you're homeless, or anything else, always make sure you're ok, even if you have a secret lockbox and are saving money in it. I believe fully in a prenup.
You can't have both unless you change the marriage vows. How about:
"I ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse unlessit gets to bad, for richer, for poorer unless its extreme, in short or mild sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till we part, according to our tolerance; and thereto I pledge thee my hope & only hope.
Or something as such
I've thought about it occasionally. Id say if you have doubt then maybe you have consider the whole relationship. Me personally, I know I can trust my girl without a second thought. Maybe its because Im naive, I like to think its because I know and trust her.
And this is how you get divorced. Lmao. 50% of men who say this are wrong. See divorce.
Prenups is for people who love a person, but isn’t willing to lose everything for that person. I think it’s okay if both partners have something to themselves, but a bad idea with a partner whose trying to get a prenuptial when they don’t have anything to lose
I think it’s a personal choice for middle class people and more of a necessity for the rich.
I think it’s it’s fine to have one if that’s what you and your partner want especially because statistically divorce is becoming the norm.
Personally I don’t think I would ever want one but in 10 or 15 year I could have a different opinion
I think I'd want to get one myself. It's not to say that I think it wouldn't last, but people change over time and who I marry today might not be the same person in ten years. And when that happens I'm gonna want my money.
@z3lda if you do hit a boi up
@milantb1 If she was unhappy she'd get a divorce. They've been married for over 20 years now and the entire time my mom has been making more than him. Why are you arguing about something you don't even know? I bet you're just bitter that you're single and blame it on your lack of wealth when in reality it's your dick personality.
My partner and I have already discussed it and if in the future we were to get married we would get a prenup. We both agreed that yeah we love each other bad hope nothing would ever happen but in the case that something happened and we didn't want to be together, we would want one.🤷🏻♀️
It's a very sensible idea and one that I approve of, even if she had more assets than I do I would still encourage it. I get people not liking the idea cus it's almost like a written declaration of a marriages impending failure to some people but it's just sensible. You don't know how your marriage will end and it's better safe than sorry, better to have it and not have needed it.
I think they're a good idea. Even if they're there to protect him more so than they are me, at least it gives him a bit more security and people can't claim (in the event our relationship goes wrong) that I only wanted his money.
I don’t think I’ll be ok if he asks for one because the moment I go into a relationship, it’s all or nothing at all. 🤷🏻♀️
y'all should get married in saudi Arabia. All in or nothing at all. If you cheat or leave there you go to jail or are killed. All in or nothing at all am i right? Smh.
It doesn’t matter to me where I get married tbh! The day I decide to get married with someone, that’s my mentality, all or nothing at all. I’ll be giving up my freedom, my virginity and my time to that person bc I’ll know I love him unconditionally n so I’ll be sharing my money/properties with him is the least of my concerns if he does not reciprocate the same emotional feelings.
But you dont seem to understand that a man might work for many years to buy assets and then you can dissolve them in the blink of an eye. Does your emotions get destroyed? Not any more than his will as well. With your attitude you should stay away from successful men. Wealthy men are wealthy precisely because they are not stupid with managing their money. And you may say you dont believe in divorce and etc but thats what EVERY girl says who is trying to get married and half the time they are lying.
That’s a very strong generalization you’re making and pretty much you’re accusing me of being the same way. Dude I’m 28 and still a virgin, I’m economically stable, I have a great career, but guess what? I have no problem waiting for the right man, it doesn’t matter if he is rich or middle class or poor. I do believe I will find the right man some day, someone who is willing to love me as much as I would love him. And thats the part that matters to me. Also, I totally understand what it is to work your butt off to have assets, some women just have no idea what that is and can be less appreciative and mess with her man’s account which is terrible. I’m one of those who believes in long term relationships and long term economical stability, bc i my friend, I like to win.
Prenups are to protect your relationship from the state. The state has no business going in and dividing up your assets in the event that it doesn't work out. I don't want the government involved in my bedroom. Prenups allow me and my partner to have a predetermined agreement on what assets go where based on what WE want, not what the state deems should happen. It's also an agreement made in times of calm and logic, not anger and vindictiveness.
@PressOn Thank you! 😊 And I do hope for the same, I don’t mind waiting, I’m only planning to settle when I feel it’s the right person who deserves me, my time and attention.
Why are you waiting still at 28? You're letting life pass you by.
@bamesjond0069 Because I don’t have a rush to have sex with just anyone. The day I decide to have sex it will be with a man I feel is the right man. Another reason is because I’m a sapiosexual and I’m not driven by physical attraction like most women, so that helps me stay where I am 😄
I never signed one when i got married. He never asked. We both had nothing when we got married. We have about a quarter million saved and eighty k in equity now, but that's both of us saving.
I am not saying it is bad to have one. I am just saying it didn't occur to us to get one.
@nathanp97 neither one of us had any debt. We had absolutely no money... so yeah that's right we didn't really NEED one. It's only there for those who really NEEDS it.
If I have had a pre-nup I wouldn't be living in a RV right now. I recommend all men getting a pre-nup if they are thinking about marriage, especially if you own your own home, cars and other assets because there is a good chance you could lose it all.
Marriage since its existence NEVER was intended to give women the option to divorce out of boredom and get a house and alimony. Since we have implemented marriage laws in this way the divorce rate had skyrocketed. Women should not have that as an option and so id never marry a woman without a prenup. Man is head of the household, not woman, she should not have a nuclear button hanging over his head.
To be honest, they should be mandatory and fully enforceable. It would create a lot less stress in divorce.
Also, if a woman refused to sign one, it would make me feel like she was planning to leave me at some point and wanted my money. If she doesn't plan on leaving me, and loves me for me, she'd have no problems signing.
I definitely think everyone should get a prenup!!! You never know what life has in store and who will do what. I know a bunch of men and women whom end their marriage badly and end up screwing themselves up so definitely get a prenup
I don't support prenups. A prenup is like essentially saying you don't believe your relationship will last. If you want to set a safety net before getting married then maybe you should consider why you feel that way
Depends on when I met her. If we meet now. Probably would care I’m poor and she would know it. I’m doing some stuff that will probably make me a lot of moola. If we hook up when I have assets prenup is required. I don’t care what people say. Money is a factor. Chicks like money and security. I realize this so protective steps would be taken.
I don't disagree with them in principle, but they don't mean jack shit in the family and divorce courts anyway, so you may as well save yourself the drama of insisting on one...
Getting a prenup in my opinion is loosing faith in your relationship when it has not been started in the first place. I'm an independent woman nd I don't need my husband paying me anything when the marriage doesn't exist.
It would seem sensible, i'd happily sign one. Protect each othets assets and allows a fair rational conversation about things, not waiting for the aftermath of the relationship and having emotions rule head
I would never get one or married someone who wanted one
Prenuptial doesn't save your money, the other person just had to fine in a state that crucified the person with the most money.
Definitely a safety net. I don’t care how it looks, I’m not fighting to keep stuff that‘s mine. It’s my way of making sure that I don’t get screwed over.
The only safety feature out there (for men) if you ever reconsider from having had enough of life and commit to suicidal slavery that we call marriage.
No thank you.
I don't see anything wrong with it.
I don't know what will happen in the future. Future hubby may become an absolute dick and try to steal my shit.
I will not get one. If my man ever decides to get one, my first thought was ‘sure’, but i realized why get married at all if you already believe its gonna go downhill anyway?
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Anything else is being stupid.
Why isn't it romantic to want one? You are basically signing something that days you aren't with the person for their money. Marriage is basically a peace of paper that says you want to spend the rest of your life with someone. How is one good but the other bad? Besides most women initiate divorces, so a prenup only would come into play when she breaks the initial contract of marriage.
@nathanp97 most men cheat on their wives. So?
@nathanp97 and men want divorces too
It is a wise decision to get one. If your partner feels insulted, she's not the one you'll want to marry.
It can be voided in court simply by the woman saying she signed it under duress.
Don't get married, there is no reason to get the government involved in your relationship.
Lol I personally think it's sad before people get married that they think about materials and whats gonna happen when they break up. Personally I think it could lead to the other half to knock you off ;) lol But that is just me :)
In a lot of states they're useless if a woman claims abuse, has kids or simply gets the right lawyer. As a man the best thing is either not get married or sign a marriage CONTRACT instead of actually getting married.
Women call for divorce 70% of the time, so I don't think it's a bad idea to be safe about it.
I think it's a set up to manipulate and play the one signing
DON'T EVEN GET MARRIED! marriage is a terrible investment for a man, we get screwed in divorce even with a prenuptial it's not bullet proof, so if you don't want a women to have the complete legal ability to fuck you dry do not get married!
My country doesn't have fucked up a divorce laws so no need for a prenup...
Not worth the paper they are written on. The judge can (and will) overrule them.
Eh, I can see why celebrities and like super rich people get them. But even still, I feel like deep down the person must know it the marriage won’t last... otherwise they wouldn’t worry about getting that
If you have something to protect, as in a large net worth, you would be nuts not to. And anyone that would object is a giant red flag. End of story.
Even the best written ones can be summarily set aside by a judge.
Depending on the marriage arrangement, It can be a very good idea
most important thing if you are smart i get $10,000 spousal supplement monthly because i demand a prenup
We should work to make marriage laws fairer for men but it's a must if you are getting married before that.
I’m against it and won’t marry a man who asked me for one. I’d dump him
Hope for the best but prepare for the worst I always say.
I'm not entirely against it. I feel like a person's inheritance and past earnings should be their own, but maybe what they earned together can be split
That's basically what a prenup is minus the inheritance part if it occurs while they are married. But how is it fair if a guy makes over 100, 000, while the girl makes 40, 000 and at the end of the relationship he has to pay her half of all he earned while with her in addition to alimony payments, possibly for the rest of his life. No one should be entitled to half, and alimony shouldn't be given for more than a few years and it shouldn't be to sustain the same standard of living. If you can't get on your own dam feet after a few years after marriage that is your own dam fault.
@nathanp97 I think the alimony or splitting things should only happen if a spouse was a homemaker and sacrificed their career for the sake of the family. Sometimes alimony is abused though
Sometimes? I'd say most. i think if the women chooses to stay at home against what the man wants then she shouldn't be entitled to much. If the man wants her to than everything should be split. Being a homemaker means sacrificing your career, but being married to one means you sacrifice time with the kids so she can have more. I find it funny how homemakers often get more custody of the kids and money from the man, while the man doesn't get back what he lost by being the breadwinner for the family. If she wants the money he should be able to get the kids more if he wants it.
I don’t care about it tbh.
You have to trust your partner. My opinion.
I believe that the only ones who are entitled to my shit after we split apart are the people I decide to put in my will.
It only makes sense if the person is ACTUALLY rich that gets it.. not for some broke ass niggas tho
lol it matters for the broke as niggas the most, how else do they stop being broke ass niggas?
Broke ass niggas downvoting my comment typical 😂
Financial struggles are your own fault 🤦♀️ Everyone in America has the opportunity to go to school and get an education. And I think I’ll do just fine thank you very much ya broke ass nigga 😂 @milantb1
Bitch I AM rich 😂 and I’m not gonna be in a relationship with some loser that has less money than my own family grew up in who’s just gonna drag me and my gene pool down sorry not sorry.
@BeHappy1985 finally a man that gets it 🙌
Oh I get it https://youtu.be/8QXB0PEUqXQ
Lmaoo
I don’t see the harm in doing it. Although the partner might take it the wrong way as if to say that I don’t trust her which would be very wrong.
Given that women can become vengeful shits who will try anything and claim anything, it's worth getting.
A man would be crazy to get married without one in today's political and social climate, and with the general character of today's women.
You're so right about our character. We aren't as dumb as we use to be.😝
@PinkMichae The problem has nothing to do with whether women are smart or dumb.
I was being sarcastic because in your statement you're say the general character of a woman today is a problem. I'd agree with some women but not all. I for one think a prenup is a good thing. I would never get that far because I will never get legally married. With 50% ending in divorce it's like playing Russian roulette. You pay money to get married just to have a 50% chance of growing apart then have an expensive nasty divorce to hate each other over. The state is the one benefitting from it. And I also believe fathers deserve more rights to their kids. All I'm saying is don't demonize all of us women because of a few feminazis that only fight for their rights instead of rights men and women should have. Now maybe I'm wrong. Maybe most women don't think like me. But I'd like to believe most want what's fair. Still don't put us all in the same category.
@PinkMichae I think it is fair to draw the general conclusion that marriage is a risky proposition for anyone given that 50% end in divorce. Considering roughly 80% of divorces are filed by women, I think it is also fair to draw some general conclusions about women's character in the context of divorce.
That could easily just mean that 80% of men really hurt the women. So unless you have the list of why 80% of women filed, you're simply making assumptions.
Should I judge the general man's character because 80% of women of women had to divorce the man they thought they would spend their life with? They must have been cheaters, liars, and/or abusers. I could make that assumption but I'm the type of person who judges a situation based on all the facts. Not half the facts and I just fill in the blanks.
@PinkMichae I have no doubt that men are to blame in many divorce cases. But the fact is women (still) have a lot more to gain in divorce than men do, and it would be silly to not recognize the role that plays in the number of divorces and the fact that women file most of them. Hopefully you are honest enough to see that.
I don't deny that some laws aren't fair to men. I guess we'll leave it at that.
Get one. It saved me a tremendous amount of pain when I got divorced.
If you are that guy from Amazon, maybe I would think of one...
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