My dance career or my boyfriend... is he being unfair?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is jealous of me being a heel dance teacher and I took a break before because I messed up my foot in a car crash. I was teaching more hip hop now I’m back doing it. He’s watched me choreograph before with my group and has mentioned they’re provocative. That’s the point it’s not ballet. I’ve been a dancer my whole life on top of my regular career. We don’t even have guys I find this ridiculous and sad that he’s being like this. What gives? Looks like this: https://youtu.be/Cts-Z59ZtXI

[SirRexington]

I can understand his reservations. How is this a career? How do you make money from it? And I don't buy this "oh he's insecure and a loser nonsense" those people aren't in his situation and are unnecessarily shaming him.

But you said men aren't involved, men are certainly watching though. Which is the point I imagine. Which is the reason he is uncomfortable with it. And that's a reasonable thing to feel. Should you leave your "career"? I'm inclined to say no, as it's clearly a passion you have and to me that's more important than a relationship that might not even last. Possessiveness is not inherently a bad thing by the way, don't listen to those who immediately claim it is. This is a very complex situation and no simple answer can be given I'm afraid. He and you will need to talk about it and you both will need to express tour feelings bout the situation as openly and truthfully as possible, even if it's hurts. If it does hurt then the appropriate action afterwards is to cover and heal the wound in whatever fashion you/him or both of you decide upon for yourself, hisself, and/or yourselves.

[Asker]

What other men are watching help me understand? Because I don’t record my choreography so help me understand how you’re dictating other men are seeing me?

[Asker]

You know what I work very Hard. If you read closely to what I said I have my actual career and a passion dance is my life. I’m also a nurse and it’s draining which is why I enjoy dancing. I’ve decided when we do talk this weekend. It’s me how I am or nothing. His choice to walk away not mine.

[SirRexington]

You're right. It is his choice to walk away. But how do you make money if you don't record your dance routine? Isn't the point in dancing professionally is to put on a performance abd get paid for it? If that's not what you're doing then how are you earning from it?

[Asker]

No so please stop. I teach classes at the studio and I have about 10 regulars and like 5 newbies usually. Each class is 40 dollars you do the math on how I make money... people come I don’t have to record and I don’t have to be a professional that has to do gigs. I did more professional performances when I was younger then I went to school and got an education. I’m a nurse during the day.

[cavmanier]

Your video didn't show anything.

If you are dancing provocatively with men or even just in general, no your boyfriend is not being unfair to not be okay with that. Most guys that want a monogamous woman would not feel comfortable with that. You are mainly going to attract promiscuous guys and guys into swinging or sharing you and they actually get aroused by showing their girls off. Those are going to mainly be the guys cheering for you to do it because that fits what they do in life.

Porn and stripping is obviously a more extreme level but it kind of reminds me of what you're talkin about. Those girls have the same or worse relationship problems that you do.

https://youtu.be/9fJb3HI3GUE

[Asker]

Good that’s the point I’m trying to show I’m clothed and only thing sexy is the dancing, heels, and music. No guys there so it doesn’t matter. Listen I’ve dated other men who were very comfortable with me dancing and they were NOT into sharing me or any of that shit. Don’t ever compare me to porn or stripping. I enjoy dance and I’m a nurse I have too much to lose to ever go into the sex industry wtf. I don’t need to listen to a porn star. My life is great and I’m happy.

[Asker]

And my dad is proud so that’s all that matters👍🏼 I’m a damn dance teacher gosh. I’m done with these comments

[cavmanier]

Well you didn't show me what you were talking about so I had a pretty wide breadth of probabilities. Okay Miss drama.

[Asker]

👸🏼👸🏼

[Purple_Summer]

Of course he is unfair. I bet when he met you he was very impressed with that and found it hot, but now that you are with him you need to stop because he does not want other guys looking? tell him to grow up. it is what you have been doing before you met him, it's a career and your passion, not some bad habit like smoking he has no right to randomly ask you to give that up. he seems selfish and insecure.

[MzAsh]

Ugh I’ve been there with jealous men. Believe me, these guys aren’t worth giving up your passion. If you did, you’d regret it forever and you’ll grow to resent him. Next thing know, you’ll be single again and lost many years for nothing. Don’t make that mistake. Your career passion is priority.

[Rheinstahl]

Ok, he seems very possessive. Has he shown signs of this before? Like agressiv behavior when other guys look at you, or if your talking with male friends?
Him being unsupportive seems to have maybe some deeper cause, either that or he's just insecure, and that can have different reasons again. I bet you felt pretty wronged by how he treated you... How does he treats you normally?

[Asker]

He doesn’t like guys talking to me and I’m a pretty outgoing person he’s not so he gets annoyed more easily. I’ve noticed he’s more like upset when I go out without him and he’ll text me more but I mean nothing crazy. I was just hoping he’d be more supportive because I’ve always been a dancer and it’s what makes me happy honestly. Not everyone can dance and it’s my talent. He treats me ok

[Rheinstahl]

Well he already sounds very possessive and also insecure in handling situations he can't directly influence. He probably has jealous fantasies, about what you're doing behind his back ( that's in my opinion the reason for his behavior when your out without him). The noticable increase in texts also shows that he has trust issues, did he have a former relationship were he got burned?
Also nice that you can do what you love. Treats me ok sounds strange, shouldn't it be he loves me, but his actions here probably turned the love a bit down...

[ronaldo75]

He's not being unfair. I've gone out with dancers and actresses - dirty dancing leads to cheating and sex ALL THE TIME. So either you're lying about being a dancer OR you're playing dumb.

SO yes, it's your career, your life and your decision so just leave him. He's not the bad guy in all this and has the right to feel how he feels.

[ShortCircuit]

I agree with him that the dancing is overtly sexual in nature, but if there are never any men present, and you aren't posting videos online or anything, I don't see how it could possibly be a problem.

[Asker]

Well yea I’m not going to deny that because it is. That’s the point of heels. Yup no men present and I don’t let people record...

[RobLovesDemi1234]

dont listen to him he's acting like a psycho. follow your dreams and passions in life and fuck what other people say because they're not gonna make you happy only you can make yourself happy dont depend on other people to do it for you

[slatyb]

Lose this guy. There are plenty of guys who will be thrilled to date a dancer. We make choices in a relationship, we don't give up things because they make or partner uncomfortable.

[TripleAce]

He's too emotional weak and has low confidence... he's scared you're too sexy and will attract someone hotter than him and you will leave him then

[GuidoThePizzaMaker]

Why does every girl that "Dance" dance like that now? its vulgar and overly sexual. I wouldn't date a dancer unless she was a ballerina.

[Asker]

They don’t and well I can’t answer that I’m a professional others do it just to do it. Lol most ballerinas and tap will go into heels class. I was a ballerina for 16 years do yourself a favor Ang just be quiet. Lmaoo he is dating a ballerina technically if I wanted I could teach that too. I’m licensed I chose not to.

[GuidoThePizzaMaker]

It looks terrible and overly sexual
Ballet has grace, poise, and drama

All these "heels" just look vulgar. They aren't telling a story besides "look how sexy I am"

You should go back to ballet its a better art form and your boyfriend won't mind

[vald9inches]

if he is making you choose than obviously you need to choose your career beautiful! <3

[Thatsamazing]

He's allowed to not want you to do it and you're allowed to do it anyway. If it becomes too deep a rift between the two of you, you have the option of deciding to no longer be with him, if that's what you want. You all may just not be compatible.

[blkgold33]

you pick your career your boyfriend should be supportive of you not make you chose

[Anonymous]

If you were dancing like this for guys, I would have a problem with it. I'd probably end the relationship.

[Asker]

Why would I dance like that for guys... that’s not what I’m doing.

[Opinion Owner]

Asker: I thought you meant your were not dancing for guys, but I was checking. It's unreasonable for him to tell you stop dancing or he leaves.

[Asker]

I was saying we don’t have guys where I teach so it’s all girls so there’s really no reason for him to be mad. Yea he basically told me to stop teaching that class specifically.

[Opinion Owner]

Asker: What reason does he give? There is not guys involved, and you are just teaching.

[Asker]

It’s provocative and he told me that I just needed a pole and I’d look like a stripper when we were arguing.

[Asker]

That’s his reasoning

[Opinion Owner]

Asker: I still don't follow his reasoning. If you dance provocatively, but no guy is around, so what? Does he get upset because you undress to take a shower?

[Asker]

I don't know why either I don’t know why we’re arguing over the fact that I’m dressed and dancing in heels in front of females. My conclusion is he’s jealous and there’s no reason to be

[Asker]

Oh he also mentioned he’d rather I dance for him I don't know what that would mean

[Opinion Owner]

Asker: He finds the dance erotic and sexually stimulating, and he would like you to dance for him, to sexually excite and stimulate him.

[Asker]

Is that why he’s being like this since I’m not dancing in front of him “sexually” alone.

[Opinion Owner]

Asker: Not necessarily all of the issue. He may genuinely want you to stop teaching, but still want you to dance for him. What guy wouldn't want his girl to dance for him like that. But, yes, it is possible that his main problem is that he feels let out, with you not dancing for him.

[Asker]

I’ll try never really done that before.

[Opinion Owner]

Asker: There is always a first time.

[Unit1]

Time for a new boyfriend, who respects you. He's starting to be controlling and killing your autonomy.

[GreatnessBack]

Dump him. He needs to be ok with your choice of profession/hobby or he can kick rocks. You did it before you two met and he knew that, right?

[MissChasityL]

If he’s not supporting you dump him.

[nerms123]

He sounds awful and way too controlling.

[PondyPand]

Always focus on job over boyfriend.

[bklynbadboy1]

Your career he'll get over it