Do guys only see me as an object?

Question

Most guys won't have a good conversation with me. They just seem to home in on sex related topics. I dont feel I am leading anyone on. I dont get it. Do I look easy?

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Some guys do, yes. But all that means is that you're attractive, and that some guys are shallow and selfish.

Every attractive girl is going to attract guys who just want her for sex. This is not the fault of the girl - it's not even the fault of the guy, it's just a symptom of the fact that men have a biological drive to "spread their seed" and have sex with as many attractive women as possible - and that this does NOT mean that they have romantic/relationship feelings for those women - men can separate sex from romance, which most women can't really do.

As a woman, you're going to have lots of men showing interest in you. Most of it will be sexual interest only, but some will be romantic/relationship interest. Your job is to FILTER the interest you receive, so that you get what YOU need and avoid the guys who aren't prepared or able to give it to you. Most women can do that EXCEPT when a really attractive guy shows interest - and then she doesn't employ her filters, and will ignore red flags because "she really likes him" and that's when she ends up getting used. You have to look out for your own interests, and you have to be honest about what those are. It's okay if you decide you want to bang the hot guy who you know isn't looking for a relationship - BUT you also have to be honest with yourself that he isn't going to change his mind after having sex with you, and having sex is PROBABLY going to make you fall for him, and then you're going to be hurt when he doesn't share those feelings.

Also, the more you make it known that you are only interested in relationships, and that you don't have sex outside of a committed relationship, the more likely you'll attract such guys - though you'll always attract at least SOME guys just looking for sex.

TreelonMusk · Accepted Answer

You're overcomplicating things.

There's no such thing as "just looking easy" and so men will just want to talk about sexual topics because they're looking to bang (as long as you aren't dressing over-the-top sexy like lingerie in an office setting).

There is such a thing as assholes and horny guys who have no tact.

You could also just talk to more intelligent guys and not let the conversation go in a sexual direction with the dumber guys too. If a guy does that and you don't want him to, you can say something like "one thing on your mind, huh" or "this conversation reminds me of high school". Doesn't have to be ultra insulting, but a little bit of pointedness makes it clear that this is not the time to talk about sexual things with you/ you just don't want to talk to them particularly like that. They'll get bored if ssexual, flirty conversatiom is what they're looking for.

If they get on some "oh that girl is such a bitch" talk, know that they're butthurt and you've succeeded. You don't want to associate with shit talkers anyway.

Felinegirl · Accepted Answer

I found it's normal for men to like talking about sex every now and then. Doesn't mean it's the obly thing they're after. They can be interested in sex and in other things simultaneously.

If you have something more interesting to talk about, I'm sure he will follow suit. Even if he sometimes wants to talk sexual too.

EriFrancis1994 · Accepted Answer

Well you're beautiful so that's a reason. But it's mostly cos guys are horny bastards. Only a few have some substance to them

SteveSmith1985 · Answer

No nothing about the way you look should lead to what you describe.

That leads me to suspect it might be some way that you're acting or how you "come off". But unless you're wearing some super slutty outfit that's not visible in the picture, it's not how you look.

Is it possible it's just that the guys who approach you are the cocky jackass type? Could just be the douchebags who have enough guts to approach you. Maybe you're intimidating to regular guys? Totally spit-balling here.

SydneySentinel · Answer

Where are you meeting these guys in particular?

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I wouldn't count on it, hun! Just because a guy sees you as a potential sex partner doesn't make you an OBJECT!!
You happen to be a woman and that's what most guys like best! On the down side, BECAUSE you're a woman you've been trained all your life to curb any sexual desires you might have and act lady-like because you don't want to come off as a slut. The sad thing is, women have sexual urges just like men, it's just that men are much more vocal about it than women UNTIL a group of women get together and there's only a couple guys in the area, then THEY (women) do all the whooping, screaming and hollering at or about the guys!!
If you ever go to a strip club, you'll see a bunch of guys sitting there quiet and docile as lambs while the girls are on stage stripping! Guys aren't even allowed to TOUCH the girls! But, if you go to one where the guy get naked for the girls, you can't even hear yourself think for all the screaming and noise the girls are making! Does that mean they are objectifying the naked guys? And the guys will jump down off the stage and dance right in front of the girls and, from the few videos I've seen, the girls are allowed to grab the guys dick, play with it, beat him off, kiss him, suck his dick and even fuck him!!
I don't know the kinds of guys you hang out with but, if they were at al like most of the guys I hang with, they'd never say sexual things to you! I guess it's a thing called, "class". Maybe you should stop hanging with those guys.
If a guy on the street whistles at you or what have you, just take it as the compliment it was intended to be. Sure, it's kind of backward but, it IS SUPPOSED to be a compliment!
I don't know if you look easy. If that's your picture in this post, you certainly are pretty!! I certainly wouldn't kick you out for eating crackers in my bed!!
If you want to discuss this with me in a bit, let me know.
Take care!!

Sensmind · Answer

Nothing comes across in your picture that says "Easy" in fact you look like a thoughtful person that you would enjoy a conversation with.
Maybe we need a bit of context, where are you meeting this men, this may give us a clue to their behaviour but as I say I can see no reason for it. My advice be patient, you are beautiful, the right guy for you is probably still out there

ecfresh · Answer

As adults we should be able to talk about sexuality but that’s just one topic and there are hundreds more. I agree if all I had were sexual conversations on GaG frankly I would stop coming here. Sounds like you are getting the typical string of horny guys just because you are female and actually talking when they reach out. Keep up the good fight, there are plenty of people willing to engage in conversations about a broad range of topics.

JohnAlaska43 · Answer

I think you have a resl pretty face.
Id love to get to know you better.
I font get a sexual vibe from your picture. Would really lije to know what you were thinking though.

Not all guys but a lot of guys only think from their penis. Its sad how lame they can be.

TenPoundTabby · Answer

Guys see you as kind, perhaps innocent, and they are drawn in by big eyes and a cryptic smile. Your responses below evince intelligence and wit, which again attract men. If you don't define your boundaries up front, guys will think that you are flirting with them. I think that's the way it is online, because any attention a guy gets, he thinks that there may be some hope there for something more. Also, because being online is easy, all the horndogs are here, so the horndog / quality guy ratio is like 100/1. However, the sea you fish in has a lot to do with it, too. If you want serious relationships, go for sites that emphasize that, or just join other communities altogether for your interests.

Kru2020 · Answer

In my experience when girls make a post like this it's because they don't try to make conversation either. I had this happen a few times where a girl posted on facebook about guys don't ever want to make conversation and so on. A few months before that i was talking to her and all i was getting was 1 to 5 word responses and literally had to carry every conversation. I though she didn't like me but then she invited me over multiple times..
It ended because she was basically just responding with 1 word and when I didn't respond to her "lol" she messaged me and said "I knew you would give up on me" like what the actual fuck lol

Intraluminal · Answer

No. You look very pretty. I think it's more a question of age. When guys are over 30, the whole dating thing gets a little tedious. The thinking is that, over 30, no one is (presumed) to be a virgin. So, have sex. If the sex is good, then see how the personalities are, if that works, THEN try for a relationship.

It's kind of the reverse of dating in your 20s where the first thing is, "is she hot" (looking), "is she exciting?" Blah, blah, blah, and sex gets put off because your both less experienced.

oddwaffle · Answer

Yes. You can only see the cover of the book if you don't open it and read it.

Just get over the fact that men aren't gods. They can't read your mind. Unless you have your thoughts written on your face they will never get it and franky they don't care.

You're like a play boy magazine to a lot of them. None of them read the articles in the magazine!

What you do is to have to wait until a guy who seem to want to talk about serious stuff. That's when he is looking for more than a face and a body.

MrHopper · Answer

Guys can tend to take women as being nice to them as a come on... a lot of men do come across as these sex orientated monsters... its always made things very difficult for me as i only really get on with women and i have to prove myself every time i talk to a woman that am not trying to get her in bed

MannMitAntworten · Answer

I don't bring up sex. I rather do the act than talk about it. Still, that doesn't mean that 'she' (whoever she is at the given moment) doesn't bring it up as a subject. Which frankly still surprises me just how crass women can be. I am not remotely prudish, but still, it never ceases to amaze me.

I get the impression that people have become so sexually repressed and frustrated that the subject of sex now serves as the gratification where the actual act used to serve as such. Especially for all those shut-ins/introverts and individuals with various forms of anxiety.

El_Heffe · Answer

I really do not find anything wrong or amis with your lovely face. Guys of the 25 to 35 age group are rather one noted in that sex seems to be on their minds 24/7.
Don't take it so personally, as I really do not equate your lovlieness with bone headed guys on the constant make. I might suggest asking each pointed questions. "it seems that our discission are rather sexually than not. While I am not interested in you physically I do value the friendship. Would you mind trying to dicuss another topic."

Manab · Answer

I don't know you and you haven't posted anything about you apart from your picture so I am answering it generally.
See no of guys who don't view women as a sexual object is low and that keep decrease ING over years. At young age girls mostly goes for a handful of top male but the situation turns over with age when the other males accure worth with time they become hot to women so they know it's there time , now they have options so they will see women as sexual objects. Girls tend to go for older guys and guys younger girls. Your age is 34 so younger guys will only see you as a cougar and guys of your age or more will likely go for an younger girl because they can get that. It's disheartening but that's our society. But I can give you more specific answer if you give out some details about you

Passinggas · Answer

"Most guys won't have a good conversation" so some do I take it. Why do you go for the non-conversation guys that just want sex? We tend to have patterns that we ourselves don't recognize and we tend to get the same types. And this is compounded with our culture is wrecked. Good luck!

JimRSmith · Answer

No, although I'm not really sure what 'easy' looks like? I suspect it's because you're pretty, and you're talking to guys who only want one thing?

WolfsRoze · Answer

Wow, your very cute. I can see why guys are sexually attracted to you. Unfortunately I'm sorry to say but it seems you may have attracted some of the more "simpler" males... The males brain is genetically hardwired for sex and some have a hard time thinking of anything else... 😋

lightbulb27 · Answer

you look low in esteem, but attractive. The only thing stopping a wolf from attacking the sheep is the sheep is strong. Sadly, it is human nature. view it as a way to up your energy, strength... the only solution I know is to work on those inner wounds, to rise above them and project strength and confidence.

talloak · Answer

With your very large eyes, you have a young face for you age. I'm guessing that this leads shallow men to not take you seriously. And you're very attractive, which will lead selfish men to focus on what they can get out of you. I find it hard to believe that all men you talk to are selfish and/or shallow. Surely men some treat you with respect. Why not spend your time with them?

NineBreaker · Answer

People objectify each other for different reasons. It's infortumate, but it's a fact of life. Generally, we're all programmed to procreate. Some guys talk to you bracuse they want sex. Those who won't may be nervous, or possibly just don't find you interesting.

Anyway, what you're experiencing is unusual for women your age.

ImagineSketchy · Answer

It's just the way a lot of males are. To have sex is just a goal for some of them. I wouldn't say they see you as an object, but as a possible lay, and then they leave. They could just want sex first and then work out whether or not they like you.

Nik1hil · Answer

I have same problem..
Girls i find attractive..
Really are not up for a conversation..
Still I have 1 Girl pen pals, love the conversation I have with her..
Met her here..
Never saw her face, just email..
Must have exchanged more than 500 emails..
But lately she hasn't been writing that much..
Honestly one of the best quality conversation I ever had..

I am capable of conversation..
But once In a while I loose it..
It's happens when my testosterone gets overloaded

Sweatyotterr · Answer

This

Juxtapose · Answer

Men are so used to playing the numbers game so heavily because women refuse to initiate, that you're just another attempt to them.

I can't blame them, since playing the numbers game is one of the only reliable ways to find anyone online.

I can't be bothered to do so myself, it's not worth it to me.

Secret6620 · Answer

May be it's just those guys. You will meet better ones🌸💜🌸

crazy8000 · Answer

Most likely how you interact with them.
No deep talk, lack of talking about the other's stuff, asking about thing's that are personal.
In other words building deep connection, wide and deep rapport both ways. that means that you also answer personal questions.

You also have the thing how you treat him.
Whom you interact with (who you usually go for that you are interested in)

It's little to many reasons in this area that many female's messes up.

natasha3012 · Answer

You know what there are tons of awesome guys.. You're just surrounded with some assholes at the moment. Also you look amazing💕

Evil_Chuck · Answer

Are they sitting on you, hanging you on the wall, or using you to clean out the rain gutters? Then, no.

They're probably talking about sex because that's what a lot of guys are naturally interested in. If they seem to speak of nothing else, though, they may be dumb. Find smarter guys.

robertKugler · Answer

Ladies.. please secure your selves... ultimately... yes and be cool with the fact men are attracted to u.. enjoy the dick. . get fucked. Every man desire women for that purpose.. to have sex.. I'm answering this question... with the intent that it brings me "Lay"luck...

BlueSequoia · Answer

Eh when I want sex with someone it doesn't at all mean I think that person is an object, it means I'm attracted to this person and like what I see.

However, if we can't keep a conversation going afterwards, it often means we don't really have anything in common, or it is because I'm too shy to try having one.

CassMi · Answer

You are very pretty, but to be honest sex isn't the topic u would jump to straight away. You are around my age so I would probably want to know if you grew up watching anything I watched when I was younger, what did you do growing up you know that sort if thing, if you study I would probably ask about that too 😊 I find depending on people's age they seem to jump to sex as a topic. I'm not the best at chatting to people though so I would be slightly nervous 🙈

Piteka5 · Answer

You look just normal, don't know why that would happen so often. There's nothing wrong with you, it feels like it's was just a log of bad luck finding only jerks recently. Don't despair and don't quit

LifeSafari · Answer

It's not you. It's them. If they're obsessed with sex, that's on them. There are guys out there who aren't obsessed with sex. You just have to weed through the pigs.

MusicMayhem · Answer

Well it's hard to have intellectual conversations with someone who sees themselves as a victim so you need to change your mindset and add value to your interactions with men or they'll just treat you the same way.

cavmanier · Answer

You don't look easy. Guys are just very often perverted sluts.

Aquariusmystery · Answer

You look innocent. Innocence is preyed on by men. They’ve been like it with me online since I was 14. You have to learn to ignore them or tell them to do one.

drummer1984nh · Answer

I think the problem is that guys physiologically need sex, and if you're not down for that, they don't want to waste their time. And frankly it's healthy physically and emotionally for both parties.

marcusfenixx · Answer

Sex object!! Hmm.. this is one of the problem in 21st century. Dear friend, don't put your trust to every guy.. calm your emotions, get to know each other then put on trusting him.. Hope this will help you out.. and no girl, you are not object, not every guy see a women as an object.. you just need to find the right person

SjE78 · Answer

no you dont look easy, those who aren't willing to talk to you with respect clearly have none to show...  pick a topic and i'd be happy to discuss at length

Agem123 · Answer

Maybe you're messing with the wrong ones, maybe it's just bad luck. There's no such thing as looking easy, you're a 5.

MajesticTwelve · Answer

You look desperate. Most guys will try to use that as an inroad to easy sex. Not saying you ARE desperate, just appear that way.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

Maybe you need a change of environment. Those guys have the wrong idea about you so you may need to do some necessary work on it, from watching how you dress in public to, like I said, changing your circle of friends.

SergeantSmoke · Answer

See, that's something some Men need to wake up about: Girls are Humans!

Massageman · Answer

Guys brains think sex leads to a relationship. Gals brains think relationships lead to sex. See Mark Gungor and the "Tale of Two Brains" on-line. A humorous explanation of the male/female differences.

bimmy5000 · Answer

Honestly it's just a bunch of thirsty gross dudes. I've used other apps where I hid my gender I still get bombarded by creeps and weirdos.

JimboGB · Answer

Beleive me you aren't the only one, especially online, you will come across many empty vessels.  It is more of an reflection on them, not yourself.

genericname85 · Answer

men want sex. that's just what it is. they don't care how you look. they just want a hole to stick their dick into. that's the harsh truth. if you want a "friend" that doesn't want to fuck you, go for gay guys or girls.

sawno · Answer

No but you look very attractive, so you are going to get more attention from men who want just looks.

Confidenceoverload · Answer

Nobody looks easy  It’s all in your demeanor and how you talk how you carry yourself  But no based off the picture I wouldn’t be able to see why someone would see you as easy

5_AM_Oracle · Answer

No, they approach everyone until they get the picture or the sexting session they wish for.

Truthatanycost · Answer

I can almost hear the trumpet calling all of the Whiteknights...

Reaperbot666 · Answer

I try not to judge people on there looks only. but more on there personality. since that is what keeps me interested in someone.

Prettysammie · Answer

You’re beautiful and you don’t look easy. Until they know you, and you’re a person to them, most people will treat you like something less than a person.

Nadim171 · Answer

You look beautiful and normal, actually you look like someone friendly that I would like to talk to. Many people are rude and just want to benefit from you :(

samael_kmarty · Answer

No you don't, I think you should focus on career if relationship isn't for you

xyz94 · Answer

No, you just look like you put a filter on your photo and it looks weird.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

It could be that your meeting the wrong guys cause you seem to look like a nice girl. Sorry this is happening to you. :(

blkgold33 · Answer

it also could be the guys that you are talking with as well

GreatnessBack · Answer

I don't know why guys get all sexual on chat, but... LOL

Freezer110 · Answer

No, you are ok. Just that we really like sex! Dehumanizing helps a lot. Objectification of a woman is standard across all cultures, Geisha girls are the extreme example.

Do guys only see me as an object?

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