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I hooked up with my best friend's son. The guilt is eating me alive. Should I tell her? (Page 2)
Anonymous
(36-45) 
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If I were you I will keep it to myself just because she's your best frienddon't mean you have to have tell her about every one of your encounters with a man he's a grown man 21 years old makes his own decisions you don't have to ask his mom if you meet the girl in the club if you can go sleep with her does he no he doesn't I'm an older man myself and a lady friend of mine her daughter turn 21 she's all over me have you done anything with her yet but I won't be able to resist if she does again if it does happen I'm not going to tell her mother cuz it would be none of her mother's business I don't tell her mother about ever when I sleep with if s he was to ask me I wouldn't lie but I'm not going to volunteer anything you need to take very clear the he's not going to be your boyfriend this is my opinion I'm only stating my opinion
You can't change the things that toook place in the past
Now you have 2-3 options
1. If you don't want to take it further. Then just keep the whole mess inside you
2. You can tell his mother about this but this will create a lot of mess and misunderstanding.
3. If you want him back
Its a bad idea
I'll suggest you no. 1
If you are having anu more query regarding this tell me then.
How did you think it was going to end? 🤔 The age difference is close to 20 years. Yeah, 🙄 you hear about celebrities all the time with this kind of age difference... but they are celebrities... it never lasts. Take it as a life lesson, and move on. Next time, choose someone closer to your own age... like someone who was born before 9/11.
Do not tell anyone regardless of your guilt. He might've had fun with you but that was under the guise no one would know. He ain't going to want word out there he got so thirsty he got took down by a cougar.
... why does this matter and what is the problem here. People are attracted to each other. People have sex. It happens. I have no idea where this guilt comes from. It's okay. There's nothing to tell here. If you don't want to do it again, then fine, don't. But telling... someone? about something? or whatever? is not going to help anyone involved.
Keep your mouth shut. Opening it will only end your friendship with his mom and hirt his girlfriend. He might be a little shit, but at this point this is your proverbial cross to bear. Opening your mouth will only be good for you and no one else... particularly your friend or the girlfriend.
Perhaps it would be better just to drift away from his mom so you do not hurt her tomake yourself feel better.
Ask yourself this: how many people are going to get hurt just so YOU can alleviate your guilt? You messed, so who doesn't? Suck it up, shut up and take it ALL to your grave. Go talk it out with a shrink if it will make you feel better, but don't blow up everybody else just because you feel like a fuck up.
The fact that I have been cheated on changes my perspective. I suspected for a long time and I would have given anything for someone to tell me the truth but no one was. That is where my guilt stems from. I remember the feelings I once had and I have empathy for the girlfriend now after all is said and done.
You are "presuming" the girlfriend suspects anything, which likely isn't true at all, and you've projected your own feelings onto her. Consider that she knows nothing... and you blow the whole thing up? You also feel like you betrayed your girlfriend, etc. In the end, you should admit to yourself this is ALL about YOU. Look, you asked for opinions... mine is that deal with your own mistake internally, shut up about it, take it to your grave, and don't make the same mistake again or a different mistake by blowing up others' lives unnecessarily.
The girlfriend does suspect something and that is why she started going through his phone.
You're not still seeing him. It's over. Her suspicions are irrelevant as you've no doubt been deleted from all his accounts. Again, you asked for opinions. If you're going to argue in FAVOR of spilling your guts because you've already made up your mind, then why ask? Maybe you want validation and for everyone to say "go tell all" !! Here's your worst case scenario if you bleed out. Either way, mom never speaks to you again, the girlfriend gets angry but eventually takes him back and accuses YOU of being the older seductress, and of course, he never talks to you again either. Best case scenario? The girlfriend says thank you, dumps him, your girlfriend STILL dumps you, and you go back to fucking him until HE dumps you. And here's the kicker... even after you spill, your guilt will NEVER be alleviated as you think, it will just be "known". You'll still carry it, so carry it in silence.
Yes, I definitely do want opinions for sure. I think if he broke it off with his girlfriend and we ended up together the mom would come around eventually but it would take a huge amount of time. She sees our connection now, just doesn't see it in an intimate way but that of a friendship. I think my thought in the girlfriend knowing is that she deserves to know. I would want to know because I have been in her shoes before. He would cheat on her again as he is very unhappy and I feel in that way I would be doing her a service by telling her because although I don't know her I do know that no one deserves to be cheated on. Her pressing him even more so now that she suspects something is going on is going to drive him further away. In the end it doesn't even really matter to me that he rides off into the sunset with me or not. My life will continue with or without him. I feel my guilt comes from hiding the truth and lying. I'm just not sure if that will ever go away and may haunt me until the day I die.
Actions have consequences. If you don't tell them, you will always be worried of becoming exposed. If you do tell the truth, you will indeed lose a friend but at least your conscious is clear for admitting your mistakes. In any case, it's unfair for the girlfriend. You know he cheated on her with you. You know what to do, it's just fear that's stopping you
Response to update: the guy should be ashamed of himself. Not only is he leading his girlfriend on which he doesn't even care about, yes that's right he doesn't because if he did he would break up with her and let her find someone she deserves. The boy is a coward because he's afraid to be alone. He's also cheating! What a coward, a wimp, a child. I feel so sorry for the girlfriend
I do feel like if I came forward with the truth it would be better received than me being backed in a corner and forced to admit it. And I agree completely it is unfair for the girlfriend. I would want to know if I was in her situation (and I was) and yet no one was telling me what I already suspected.
I agree completely with everything you say!
I think you're upset he betrayed your trust and told you something he didn't go through with. It's your choice what you do but if you want to carry on being friends with his mom just forget it ever happened. Otherwise tell his girlfriend and dissapear out of their lives.
He didn't mislead you. Your were lonely, wanted some, and believed whatever your wanted to believe. I bet he didn't have to work hard.
He ain't leaving his girlfriend.
If you feel this guilty, tell them or ghost them, I don't care.
Bottom line is you got some fresh dick. Kudos.
Yes I was lonely, yes I wanted some, and yes I believed what I wanted to believe. You are right. He did have to put a fair amount of effort into convincing me but I'm sure it added to the "chase" for him. He will leave his girlfriend, I am certain of that. It could be next week or it could be 10 years from now. I don't expect him to leave her for me and I am not waiting for it. That would be crazy.
Don’t sit up here and act like a victim. You allowed yourself to be his slut knowing he had a girlfriend and knowing his mother was your friend. You sound less mature than he.
👏👏👏 yup
I do not think I am the victim. I chose this.
Id keep your mouth shut and stop being friends with both of them. Honestly I've had so many friends and they all go their separate ways in time. Dont lose sleep over guilt your time is too valuable. He was mature enough to consent and know what he was doing (grown ass man). Put all of your efforts into finding a mature male to spend the rest of your time with.
I probably wouldn't say anything. If my friend fucked my daughter I don't think I'd be happy about it. Plus I highly doubt he would spread this rumor around. Maybe just never speak of it. If I were to predict the future I would say his girl friend is definitely gonna break up with him ( he's only 21) , when that happens you will probably be hit up by this kid for more sex. I think you could probably end up his fuck buddy or something if that's something you'd be interested in.
I don't think you did anything wrong lol its just if your friend finds out she will probably hate you for this
I think if you get involved with this guy he will play with you for a few years and dump you for a younger hotter girl. Don't take it serious
Well you are clearly a shit person depends on of you want
My ex was like you. Looked younger than she was.
You should tell his girlfriend. She deserves to know. As for his mom, it's really none of her business.
I'd just think of the friendship that you have with his mom. I know it's wrong but you fell for the okey dokey. He was just wanting a piece of ass and he took advantage of a vulnerable situation. Chalk it up to the game. You should get together with older guys. There is nothing sexy about a young kid trying to run game on an older woman. Whats sexy is an older man that has his shit together and while they run game never forget that we invented game.
Unfortunately I am not attracted to older guys. My ex fiance was 9 years younger than me. There is something about me that likes guys looking up to me and putting me on a pedestal that makes me feel validated. I like the feeling that I am in charge and am the boss and I do draw guys to me that want me to be in charge.
You can't jst tell her to change that, it's preference and taste, I have a thing for older women and I have a really hard time being attracted to younger women.
Keep your mouth shut! Suck it up! Are you willing to loose the friendship you have with his mom? Is it worth it? And why do you feel used and guilty? Why can't you turn it around? Obviously he doesn't have any and I'm sure he's had a smile on his face simply cause he got some some from a mature woman! Trust me, he ain't trippin! Don't let your feelings run your life!
You got carried by the situation, you were breaking up. I think if you tell them, it would just harm everybody, it seems he's trying to break contact to move on. I think you should somewhat to the same, no one was harmed and any bad that might have been done has since stopped. Don't feel ashamed some times the situation dictates how we act.
Don't feel guilt. That happened out of excitement and with the concent of both of you. Don't expect him to leave his girlfriend. That's not gonna happen. It's just a fantasy for him. Nothing else.
Be strong. Be more free minded to accept the situation.
And lastly dont tell this or discuss it with anyone.
He will eventually leave his girlfriend whether two weeks, two months, two years, or twenty years. That much I am certain about. I just can't expect him to leave her for me.
Then don't entertain him.
He is harmful for your mental health.
Try to avoid his presence by any means.
The truth is always the right way to go. I would want to know if it was my son. I had to tell him I had gone out with a friend of his from school. I didn't know they knew each other till after. But still told him.