Do you think long distance relationships work? If so, what do you think contributes to the success of the relationship?

[Anonymous]

I have heard of someone dating long distance for 3 years and are now engaged to be married. I don’t think the relationship will survive due to the two not knowing each other well. Statistics say that long distance relationships are more common due to the advancement of technology. What do you think?

[agent_orange]

I think I can very much relate to this topic. I, myself, is in same situation. My fiance lives abroad, thousands of miles away from me. Our 3yr 5mos relationship may not seem the most ideal and I can guarantee that it's really tough. But me and my partner agreed to work it out. We fell into a routine of open communication and creativity and agreed to avoid making issues of things that we could simply discuss about and compromise with. And like any other normal couples, we've also faced arguments and difficulties but we made sure to deal with it together as rational adults. We avoid too much expectations from each other, and maintain a high regard on the significance of honesty, loyalty and respect in our relationship. We support each others personal aspirations and objectives while trying to achieve our common goals. We spend time together on vacations to travel, get-together with the family and of course lots of quality time cuddling and snuggling and everything to make up for the many months we are apart. So if asked if LDR works.. It does, only if you are both willing to accept the consequences and work it out together.

[Kayla45]

There's some success stories floating around on the internet, but each case is unique to the couple involved. Plus it's sketchy to meet each other because you are basically putting yourself in an unknown situation, in which case has potential dangers associated with it.

Some dangerous man or ex-convicts use online dating to also lure and trap women, it's very dangerous if you are uncertain of their identity previous experiences in life.

If you do it, talk on video chat and take all the safety precautions necessary to your situation, it's better to be safe than sorry!

[Asker]

I agree but it seems to be more common even with the possible dangers.

[laurentpatricia]

It works for me. That depend on each person. We gotta put more effort than usual relationship, more trust, more joke, more attention and affection so it can last long. And appreciate plus respect each other

[LordSnuggles]

Well being someone who has been long distance and is engaged, I'd say it's certainly possible. Statistically, you're right, most don't work out. Two people have to be committed and have ways of staying connected and fulfilled. A large part of that has to do with who they are as people and if they are the type to be able to feel connected and close even when far away.

[Asker]

Thanks

[TCredo]

They can work - I know of many - including my own. Spent first year of dating half a country away from each other - but communicated often and got together as often as we could. Been married now for over 20 years - so yes, they can work :)

[Asker]

How long were you dating before getting engaged?

[TCredo]

About a year - and was while we were still long distancing

[Asker]

Oh ok... cool

[TCredo]

Yes it was. I think that relationships and people are like snowflakes - no two are alike and what works for one couple might never stand a chance with another - whether that's at the early stage of a relationship or after many years.

[Asker]

I’m starting to realize that the older I get

[TCredo]

It is definitely acquired knowledge for sure. Can look at lots of different attributes too. I know a couple where the guy is always the boss and they are very happy together - and I know another happy couple where it's the wife who's the boss. If you did a couple switch, probably be two disasters lol but it works for them. It's the old ying and yang thing...

Related to this thread, I dated a girl during and after college for 5 years. Our breaking up had nothing to do with me moving (happened couple years after we were done) but I mention it because I simply couldn't see how a long distance relationship would have worked for her and me but it did work with me and who eventually became my wife.

Maturity or age/desires played a role in that too as I was in my early 20's with the college girlfriend (who was pleading to get married and I was not ready... ) and in my late 20's when met my future wife.

Ok.. enough of my rambling lol :)

[Asker]

Nope... you’re fine. The best one thus far! Thanks for your kindness and insight! Much appreciated

[TCredo]

You are welcome - and thanks for the MHO :)

[Asker]

No problem!

[TCredo]

And feel free to DM me if

[TCredo]

Premature send lol... feel free to DM me if like to chat more on this or other topics :)

[Asker]

Great! I have to up my Xper points before that happens but as soon as it does I’ll look you up!

[TCredo]

Well I shall look forward to it ha :)

[Faint]

Honestly it takes a lot of communication, commitment and trust. I don't feel like they usually last, except for a select few. They usually have to involve meeting eventually. Some people can lie all they want with a made up story. The real test for relationship to me is when you move in together and are around them most of the time learning each other's habits. That's usually the make it or break it time.

[Asker]

Exactly!!!

[StylesbyDR]

Long distance is super rare because the relationship lacks a key portion of what makes relationships last, companionship, intimacy, 1 on 1 time making memories.

You have an entire relationship built purely on communication and nothing else. When you are not together its very easy for someone else who is there to take your place.

[Asker]

I agree... in my opinion even though the two may spend time together that doesn’t mean the person has shown their true colors

[StephenCF]

I think they can work because they have worked. Even if it’s only one every million LD couple, some people could still be that “one”.

It all depends on commitment, perseverance & patience before meeting 💁🏻‍♂️💻🙋🏼‍♀️

[ratzin]

I think it depends how much time you've spent together before getting into long distance and how well you understand each other. I've known my fiance since I was 14 (now 24) and we've been in a relationship since last 3 years, of which we have spent 2.5 years in long distance due to education and job. And we've been engaged since last months

[Asker]

I could see that because you guys have known each other for a while. I’m speaking of meeting online and forming a relationship that way.

[ratzin]

Only possible if both don't have anyone with whom they have close mental ties. Because it when both are lonely that they can connect over a virtual medium

[Asker]

What if one person does and the other knows it?

[ratzin]

It would be more like sympathy and less like love

[Asker]

Interesting

[QueenTanya]

Most of them don't work. Communication and honesty is essential though.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes. The Biggest factor is

[babyygirrll]

I’ve tried it before and I got cheated on. It failed horribly. I’ll never try it again.

[Asker]

Yeah... that’s the case in the relationship that I know of as well but she still chooses to marry knowing that

[babyygirrll]

I think it isn’t worth it

[Rob171977]

Who the fuck are you to say if it will or won't that's for the couple to decide not you. And with a shitty attitude like yours you're better off staying single and saving some guy a headache and heartbreak from dealing with your negative shit

[Naxwi]

I don't see her being negative anywhere, just curious as to how people make it work and her own assumption why it could.

[Asker]

Sounds like you’re the negative one here buddy because the way I see it is you didn’t have to comment but you did and you seem very angry like I did something directly to you. I’m grown and so are you and what adults do is talk. Try it instead of posting negative comments looking for a reaction.

[Rob171977]

Try actually saying your opinion without being a coward about it and hiding behind an anonymous setting

[Asker]

What difference does it make if I’m being anonymous or not?

[TCredo]

Wow... bit strong here no? Question was pretty vanilla and was looking for thoughts - not sure how the F bombing reply came about but... so be it :)

[Asker]

@TCredo my point exactly!

[TCredo]

lol... some folks are just angry I guess. I liked your question and shared a F-bomb-less answer :)

[Asker]

@TCredo I was curious as to why but I guess that’s just it

[TCredo]

lol yes well if you take a brief scroll of his page... most of the posts scream out with "I am angry!" :)

[Asker]

@TCredo I did and I also created another post to try and gain better understanding of it because he’s not the only one to do it. It’s almost as though I struck a nerve. I’m only asking to gain clarity is all... sheesh

[TCredo]

I wouldn't lose any sleep over it... maybe this topic triggers folks somehow - did the other post get similar responses?

[Asker]

@TCredo yes... lol

[Rob171977]

@TCredo You got a little brown on your nose

[TCredo]

lol um ok :)

[Anonymous]

On my quick & subjective opinion, engaged for 5 years is really too long for a woman. But i dont justify her wrongdoing. But the reality, 5 years is a waste of time for her too. Each of u actually contribute mistakes. 😐

[Bwyze]

I've only known a few long distance relationships to last... but one thing they did to have a successful relationship was have good communication

[Asker]

Sounds about the same as a reg relationship. I thought it would take more to maintain a long distance relationship.

[Bwyze]

Well you need communication... anything else is extra added... such as cards, money, bears, tickets, flights, etc.

[Asker]

Of course

[Saudi-uk]

LDR or Not... The relationship will never going to work if the couples aren't meant to be.

[maxgdek]

Yes it can work

[Saudi-uk]

@maxgdek exactly

[Haoli]

l dont think long distance relationships is a good idea. normal people will drift apart.

[MissDawn7961]

I agree with you that it will not work

[Asker]

Out of curiosity, have you tried it?

[COMMODOREII]

I had three. But they were mixed results.

[Asker]

Care to elaborate on “mixed results”?

[COMMODOREII]

The first one we still are friends. It was very sexual but we broke it off. The second relationship she was too immature and we broke up and i lost contact with her. The third relationship she was my fiance and she decided to cheat on me and go to india and have another man's baby.

[Asker]

How long were you together before you got engaged? How long were you engaged?

[COMMODOREII]

I was with her for three years in north carolina then we moved to texas where we got engaged and been together for 5 years. After the breakup i had 2 years of depression so i wasted 10 years of my life.

[Aidelwaish]

On my quick & subjective opinion, engaged for 5 years is really too long for a woman. But i dont justify her wrongdoing. But the reality, 5 years is a waste of time for her too. Each of u actually contribute mistakes. 😐

[COMMODOREII]

@Aidelwaish i worked hard to try to get us on our fett. She got fired at her job. Totaled the car and stole from me. It's not justified. Especially by causing drama between my family and i. Other couples never did that and followed the same life almost.

[Asker]

I’m sorry to hear that. I know that must have been tough

[Aidelwaish]

i do wish the best life for you. yes, it must have been hard and traumatic for you.

[luvstoned4him]

it didn't for me

[Asker]

How long were you together and how did you meet?

[luvstoned4him]

meet through a class mate. soon after he went into the navy and I've only been able to see him once a yr and a half at most. 5 years. he cheated with multiple women. when I found out, it was over

[Asker]

Oh ok... I’m sorry to hear that

[luvstoned4him]

its ok, it is what it is #lessonslearnt

[Asker]

Very true indeed

[anon7472]

98% of the time, no.

[Asker]

That’s interesting! I’m curious as to why