Can you keep a sexual relationship without catching feelings?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Are you capable of something with no strings attached?

Updates

+1 y

Quoting a friend, "ask my mistress"...

[chackskiz]

I’m currently testing this theory out. So far I realized the power of “but”. Which is an annoying, panty drying detail about the person that saves me from wanting a relationship.
the guy im “benefiting?” with, is a gym manager/trainer, big beautiful body, speaks French, loves wine and animals, has the cutest shy smile BUT he’s a bit of a chauvinistic douche and a Philosophy grad (they are either really chill or asinine, I've yet to experience the middle ground).
I think speaking and spending non sexual time together is tricky. We realized that after the hour long convo we had over wine before bedtime.

it’s tricky but necessary depending on your alternatives. Good luck!

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

I understand, I do agree especially on the "speaking and spending non sexual time together is tricky".
Thank you, I hope everything works best for you!

[Cynicaldreamer]

Nope. I cannot even have sex with a guy unless I have feelings for him!

That's the main reason I cannot do one night stands or friends with benefits. If I do that with someone, I expect there to be some feelings there... both of us!

[midnightmoon05]

Same

[locoloco68]

That's the way it should be

[ioan12]

I've tried.. No pleasure at all

[loveslongnails]

And how do you know he has "feelings" for you …… because he says so?

[Cynicaldreamer]

@loveslongnails Oh hell no! I'm not that stupid. Anyone can say, "I love you" just to get you in bed- that's one of the main reasons I believe in actions over words.

Feelings: he sticks around after the first few dates, months when I tell him I'm not ready for sex. And he DOES so because he not only likes me, but respects me enough to wait for when I'm ready for sex as well. He gets to know me and doesn't seem just interested in trying to get me in bed. He calls or messages me regularly to show, "Hey, I'm thinking of you."

That's what I mean by feelings.

[loveslongnails]

I get that part, but even that be theater so you go with your gut, right? I found the "secret", but I can't post it here because it will ruin it for all the serious guys! LOL Hmm... I might tell you if you message me :) Maybe !

[Cynicaldreamer]

@loveslongnails Haha, you tease! I think you just wanted me to follow/message you...
Don't have your "brethren" lynch you for revealing their secrets! LOL

[Ronald_25]

Yes, I have a full 10 years experience in this which is distilled into one piece of advice:

It helps if you dislike them as a person, this will stop you catching feelings. I've had some drop dead gorgeous NSA girls with 'Bats in the Belfry', arrogant, self obsessed, divas etc.

I did my 10 years, now I'm retired and looking to settle with my girlfriend, it's time to pass on the game to IGen @Apple1996 @WhiteShoulder @SweedyPie I truly do miss my NSA and carefree life as a bachelor. Getting wistful now...

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Perfectly agree especially on the "dislike them as a person" part.

[WhiteShoulder]

@jean_marie-celine but you still want their mouth...

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

@WhiteShoulder their mouth may say bad things, but do good ones... don't know if making this distinction is maturity or cynism or both.

[WhiteShoulder]

Maturity

God loves you, but Satan does that thing you love with her tongue...

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

@WhiteShoulder eh.

[Ronald_25]

I'd take Lucifer over god any day, she knows how to undo men and reduce us to neanderthals www.google.com/search

[Ronald_25]

I'd love to have a Ménage à trois with my girlfriend and Luci put that HSD into use!

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Honestly sounds like it could be a bit complicated...

[Ronald_25]

True, this is possible, but I've been in a MFF poly before, and my girlfriend knows this 🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏻‍♀️

[Ronald_25]

Thanks for the MHO Jean 👌🏽

[Massageman]

Another question for my hooker.

[Massageman]

Thanks for the MHO.

[Smokey_T]

Yep! As long as boundaries are clear up front I sort of put a fence around those emotions and just enjoy the sex for what it is. For me I feel that sex with someone for the simple act of two people enjoying each other and making each other feel good, as a physical activity giving your body and mind pleasure. It's not unlike eating a great meal when you are hungry. Your body is craving something and when you feed the craving a sense of fulfillment occurs. I've had sex with several women but only loved a couple of them.

[5points2gspot]

No. I couldn't. I would eventually catch feelings and want something more. I'm a very emotional person.

[soleil2666]

You can - as long as both are happy to enjoy the lust and not ask questions about 'where to next' (like moving in together, having children etc)
Any relationship without commitment to a shared goal between two people is just that anyhow (but often one of the two sides, or both, assume they are going to some shared destination, and later split up when they realise they wanted to get to different places.

[Good1mufferaw]

I know some of my friends can, I can’t though. But maybe it has something to do with sexual experience? I really don’t know.

My best friend has slept with over 30 guys, and she had a fuck buddy for a couple of months without catching feelings.

I on the other hand, fell for the first guy I was with...

But all in all I couldn’t say

[locoloco68]

The new Milady have a heart and morals not saying don't have fun and experience things but at her rate × 20 more years wow I don't know some would say she's a umm wella... she going to wind up moving to another town where nobody knows here to find man if you live in a town with population under 50000 LOL I would say some good advice would be charge for it at least make it a business it'll come around and bite her on ass literally I think crabs bite herpes AIDS and something new later on sure

[Good1mufferaw]

We live in a big city with a population around 1.333.888 people. I mean I don’t judge her, she’s doing what she wants to, and she knows how to take care of herself, and protect herself.

[locoloco68]

I like taking a lot of these out of one night stands maybe not disease might need an individual that wants to be rough. what city just wondering doesn't matter I live in Chicago and a lady just got assaulted got drugged and escorted out the back of a bar into an alley with two bouncers and an individual that walked about 20 feet and assaulted her behind a garbage can and just by luck a business with security camera in the alley had it on tape good thing not meaning it's a good thing but they'll find out who it was and get prosecuted cuz if it wasn't there that's crime that would have been unsolved cuz it could have been rape and then a throat cut. You never know mean people in this world

[locoloco68]

I speak David and I looked at my words that I wrote I see I said the new milady I meant you milady have a heart and the concern that you have for your friend tells me more or less you're a good person hope you find something that's real out there

[Purpleronnie]

I think some people probably can if they can separate one from the other in they’re head. in my opinion it’s transactional like that though and not really for me. It’s just doesn’t seem like a healthy lifestyle but each to they’re own right :)

[Sensmind]

This is definitely a "Based on the Individual" issue - I might be able to do it once or twice but I would have to have "Feelings" develop and it become a romantic relationship if it were continue with same person. It would be my preference. Most of the time I would prefer not to do a casual hook up than do it.

[chistonejr]

Me personally, I would not do that. I'd rather be emotionally attached to the person first before we even begin anything sexually.

A lot of people fail to understand that intercourse is a very sacred action that two people do. Your souls are connected in a very interesting way and it is meant for two people to sort of become one (if that makes sense).

[Browneye57]

It's nearly impossible. Our brains are wired that way. Unless you're just dead, or heartless.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Sad but true

[Browneye57]

See the pink replies.

Women connect emotionally.
Guys connect physically.
This isn't to say guys don't have emotions, but it's just not the same.
The biological imperative is that you connect to preserve the family unit for the benefit of the offspring. And so you can't get naked and do it with someone over and over and not gain an attachment to them. It's impossible.

[arabgoddess]

How is that even possible? Unless you're a human who doesn't feel anything towards humanity

[Anonymous]

I think there's gotta be some sort of feelings maybe not love feelings may be even just attraction at first but something has to change for u to want to KEEP doing it with same person over and over again otherwise why not always be doing it with someone different!!

[DorkVader]

I always catch feelings. Maybe not love, but attachment

[zaharaa]

I caught feelings last time I was in a friends with benefits relationship and it sucked but it's only happened once

[Nikki1989]

I have done so in the past but it didn't work like that with my current boyfriend.

[pleasestopthis]

I can't have sex without love... and if I did, I think I would eventually get emotionally attached.

[WhiteShoulder]

Yes, but it's hard and doesn't always work. Especially for the girl.

[Somethingwittty]

Yeah. Not hard if you're just there for the sex and keep a time limit on seeing each other

[Avicenna]

Absolutely not. It's a good thing I don't do hookups.

[Massambit]

Well you should at least like the person you are having sex with.

[djmzes]

Simple

[Definitely]

I can, but I'm not interested into such things. What's the point to it if there's no feelings? It's just going through some motions for a very short sighted goal, only bringing risks without a good justification.